considering telling OH we need to stop TTC :(

[Destiny08]

hi...

so OH and i have been ttc #2 since April. and well...OH is depressed. He's going to be starting counselling and he's on medication but...well. he's really hard to deal with atm. I know its his depression, but as a recovering depressed myself (off my pills as of April!) I'm really struggling to hold it together whilst TTC. I'm DESPERATE for a baby...but I dont feel like I'll get the support I'll need during my pregnancy from OH as he is now...and having had depression and pre eclampsia before I'll be more likely to develop either during my next pregnancy.

i also really dont feel like DTD with him lately...like we'll fight and we'll get over it...but after a fight I dont feel like DTD for like a day lol. I'm very emotional. but he's very into the 'makeup sex' thing and gets PO'ed whenever I say no...which leads to another fight...

I so badly don't want to stop TTC...cos I've been desperate for another baby for like a year now...and I want DD to have a sibling well...before she's 3 ideally (she turns 2 in 2 weeks)...but i dont know if I have a choice at the moment which devastates me i just dont know what to do

 

[MRSCHERBERT]

Hi hun,

i didn't want to read and run,

is it the ttc that is getting hubby down?
If so maybe it is best to give it a break, you may find you catch when you are not actively trying.
If not then maybe trying to change the scenario that makes him feel down will help.
Ttc is hard, believe i know, me and hubby have been trying for year and half,and it puts a huge strain on the relationship.
I feel for you both i really do.

Good luck and i hope things workout for you both.

 

[Destiny08]

thanks it's not the TTC that's causing his depression. its a separate issue. he's much more relaxed about the ttc than I am lol. and he says he's very excited about the thought of having another LO.

 

[MrstoMommy]

Maybe you should probably try the NTNP. I know that's what hubby and I did after I got crazy depressed with not conceiving. It let our minds relax and let us sort of find that we enjoyed each other too, not just DTD.

You and your OH should try that. It wouldn't be like not trying, therefore whenever you do DTD, it's not a worry for you that your missing OV dates or something.

Just a suggestion. I hope you find what is right for you.

 

[KiwiMarie]

Maybe you should probably try the NTNP. I know that's what hubby and I did after I got crazy depressed with not conceiving. It let our minds relax and let us sort of find that we enjoyed each other too, not just DTD.

You and your OH should try that. It wouldn't be like not trying, therefore whenever you do DTD, it's not a worry for you that your missing OV dates or something.

Just a suggestion. I hope you find what is right for you.

I agree. NTNP is far less stressful. You aren't fully abandoning but there is no pressure while he deals with his stuff. Plus you'll be better able to support his recovery if a part of your mind isn't tracking temps and charts and scheduling the sexy time. If I were in your shoes, I'd want to get the two of us straight before making it two and a half.