Could use a buddy

[Pino6161]

Lxb--- Next cycle I might try grapefruit juice. The thought kinda grosses me out though

Lauren--- Sorry about the chemical but at least you know you are one step closer to your surgery, and your BFP!! I am so happy your branch at the hospital has such a good reputation. I think you are in good hands. You are in my prayers and thoughts all day today!! Please let us know when you have sobered a bit, so we know you came through with flying colors

Preg_pilot--- 10 times!! ??

Lxb--- I do think you can O while spotting. Let us know what your Dr. says.

Countrygirl86--- Yes I have read the whole series, twice. This is my third time!! Did you get any pics from your scan??

So I am feeling pretty good today. I didn’t sleep very well. Had some weird dreams again the last 2 nights? I slept in but I woke up quite a few times last night, so I was making up for it a bit I guess Still no peak on my monitor, and temp is down again. IDK what is going on with my temps. The temp in my house is the same as always, so IDK. Last cycle I O’d on day 20, and that is tomorrow. Also I was looking at my chart, and I have a 12 day LP. It seems like it has gotten shorter as my cycles usually ranged around 35-37 days, but the last 2 cycles I have been down to 33 days and shortened my LP. I don’t know what is going on?? Any suggestions??

 

[lxb]

update from me:
I thought all was okay as bleeding/spotting is stopping. But I still have "retaining product" according to the u/s... my hands are shaking right now because they asked me to go round 2 on the medication tomorrow and schedule u/s and appointment next week.

 

[Pino6161]

lxb--- I am SO sorry . Don't be to down on yourself, it is common. Look at it this way, at least they offered you a second round of the meds and you don't have to do a D&C. I really am sorry we all thought all this pain and suffering was done for you. My heart goes out to you and your husband!! I am sorry hunny!!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Oh, Lxb!!! I'm so sorry that this horrible ordeal isn't over just yet. You've been so positive and doing so well, it just isn't fair! You've been through the medication once already, so you know you can do it. Yes, it was unpleasant but I'm positive it won't be so bad this time. You're so brave, this WILL be over soon! Just know that once you do this second round of meds, it's just one step closer to your BFP. If there is any silver lining here, you KNOW you can get pregnant. For some reason, that little bean just wasn't ready to come just now, but I know that baby is going to come soon. You will be such an amazing mom with your positivity, wit and sense of humor!

I'm not sure why some of us get dealt such a tough hand with TTC, but I believe all these measures just get us closer to our ultimate goal. While I won't pretend that I can relate to what you are going through, I can relate to the unexpected happening every time you visit the doctor. I keep thinking that I know what the next steps will be and then BAM!!! I have a low ovarian reserve. We just have to keep our chin ups, we will get there and we will just keep holding each other's (virtual) hand along the way.

My SIL had a TTC group online like we do when she went through infertility. Every single person in that group got their baby in the end, some just took longer than others.

 

[lxb]

Thank you so much for the kind words pino and sashimi. Like you said, sashimi, unexpected things happened each time from the dr's visit. I was caught offguard. I am sooo grateful I have you ladies and we certainly will hold each others (virtual) hands through this journey. And hopefully build a long lasting friendship

Each day IS a day closer to our BFPs and we shall be each others' supports through these ups and downs.

I needed to take tomorrow off for the medication. I didn't want to just keep asking my boss for "sick day" so I have decided to build up the courage and told him the truth. Took me ~40 min (I think I was worried that he will leave work before I was ready) and finally asked to speak to him. Once we sat down, I started to tear up before I could speak!!! (I am so weak!!) and he looked sooooo concern! haha: now that i thought about it) then, I told him I needed to take tomorrow off and the reason being I had a miscarriage and need the time off for some procedure). He said he's soo sorry to hear that and that I should take as much time as I need. Also, him and his wife has gone through it too. So.. PHEW!! A huggeee weight has been lifted off my chest!

Just took the medication...prescribed dosage is higher this time. Thank goodness I have some pain killer left by my side!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Isn't it a relief to come forward to your work about the truth, Lxb? I was so scared when I told my work and I never DREAMED my HR person would be going through the same thing. As I mentioned, she had two miscarriages and I think one of them happened while sitting at her desk back in June. Not only was HR supportive, BUT as I mentioned there is a small infertility club at my work. I think I said in one of my last posts how a guy's wife had 5 MCs, but now she is 8 months PG!!

While I'm not ready for everyone to know the truth about IVF, I am happy to have work supporting me when I need days off. I'm sure it was reassuring to know your boss had gone through the same thing. No one should have to go through that, but at least he understands.

Once again, I have to say how thankful I am for this group. I'm TERRIFIED to start IVF, I can feel that dang AF on her way so I have to make a decision if I am going to do it now or wait a cycle. I really don't think I could get through all of this, the fear, the uncertainty, the invasive medical procedures without all of you.

Maybe you should take Thursday and Friday off Lxb! Just take good care of yourself, watch good movies and eat lots of take out!!

 

[lauren26]

All done ladies. Was a long procedure and doc said my endo was
Worse than she thought, yet she got all of it out!! That is great news for me and she seems to think weve got a chance to be pg naturally and wants us to try for six months! I am so grateful this is over. Wasn't hearing the miracle news id hoped for but the news she gave me was encouraging so I'll take it!! She Said my tubes are beautiful which was nice and weird. More later so sleepy. Thanks agin for everyone's amazing support! Couldn't have done this without you

 

[lxb]

Sashimi - yes! It was definitely a relief telling my boss. I think part of the reason I was nervous about telling him is because he is a male! As for IVF, do whatever you feel is right. At times I just feel like we just need to bite the bullet in order to move forward. Looking back, I am glad I took the medication (even though I took the wrong one on the first attempt!! ) but at least what I am doing now is for a better tomorrow (I think)

Lauren - for beautiful tubes! sooo glad it went well! Next up shall be your bfp!!

 

[Pino6161]

Lauren--- I am so glag she got it all out Next step BFP

LXB--- I agree with Sash, you should take a couple days off just to wrap your head around everything!! I am glad your boss understood!!

 

[preg_pilot]

lauren, lxb, pino: Yep. 10 times. In the last 15 years no less.
First time was when I was 15 to have my tonsils removed, and then starting from 19, I´ve had 10 knee surgeries (one of them was actually awake... won´t be doing that again).
The tonsil surgery was fine, didn´t really have any side effects from the medication, but threw up from the wound in my neck for 2 solid days... if your kid needs this, do it as young as possible is my advice.
The first 5 or 6 knee surgeries, I didn´t like. There was something about the meds I couldn´t stand. I would feel like I was choking when I was going under, and woke up crying each time. Took several hours each time to recover enough to get up and go home.
I think it was during the 6th that I requested to stay awake... was quite funny actually, (I was on "careless" drugs during the surgery) but after an hour of poking around, the meds started to fade, and I felt quite uncomfortable... def don´t want to try that again.
For the last 3-4 times, it has been complete bliss. They discontinued the old meds, and started on something new, and now I just fall asleep and wake up refreshed, feeling ready to jump and run up mountains (except for the crutches of course).
So, about 3-4 years ago, they got new sleeping meds, and now this is a whole new experience for me.
It´s not likely I´ll be having many more of these though, as my knee has reached its limits. (unless I hurt my other knee... knock on wood that doesn´t happen).

update from me:
I thought all was okay as bleeding/spotting is stopping. But I still have "retaining product" according to the u/s... my hands are shaking right now because they asked me to go round 2 on the medication tomorrow and schedule u/s and appointment next week.

I´m so sorry you´re going through this...

All done ladies. Was a long procedure and doc said my endo was
Worse than she thought, yet she got all of it out!! That is great news for me and she seems to think weve got a chance to be pg naturally and wants us to try for six months! I am so grateful this is over. Wasn't hearing the miracle news id hoped for but the news she gave me was encouraging so I'll take it!! She Said my tubes are beautiful which was nice and weird. More later so sleepy. Thanks agin for everyone's amazing support! Couldn't have done this without you

Fingers crossed for ya. Happy that your surgery is over.


Little update from me:
Feel like crap today. Had the stomach flu in the night, didn´t sleep at all, and had to call in sick.
Hope it´s one of those 24 hours things, as it would not be good to have to call in sick again tomorrow, as I´m supposed to go on a 4 day tour...

 

[treasured]

lxb- i cant believe theres another hurdle for you to cross why cant this just be over for you so you can move on huh? Im so glad that you are taking this so well because I guess it is the only way for you and OH to carry on! wish we could all just pop round for a big group hug right now!!

lauren- omggggggg im so proud of you! this is amazing that its happened so quickly, and I think that is a really good outcome. obviously it would be amazing if it was 100% that you could conceive naturally, but I have faith that this was this obstacle in your way!! will this help with your progesterone issues or is that completely different? hope your back to your self soon

pino- I am SO confused by luteal phases.... what did yours used to be? 14? I know most places say that LP stays the same but im pretty sure mine has changed quite a lot, unless my OPKS were wrong. cause I had a 11 day, then 10 day, then 13 day, then 10 again... wtf? Im pretty sure 12 is fine though so I wouldnt worry to much, was this not the cycle that you wrent sure about O? maybe you did earlier? ALSO i dont understand how your LP works if you dont O at all?

sooo! my BBT thermometer arrived today wooo! had to get outa bed to get it from the postman so I will start temping tomorrow but im kinda confused by it... will need to read up on the instructions. I can now identify with the VERY loud beeps that you ladies were talking about a while ago haha! hope you all can tell me if my chart is right! the only this is FF is in farenheit I think and my thermom is C :S

 

[lauren26]

lxb, I am so sorry you have to go through this for so long!!! Sashimi is right, though, you are so positive and funny. You will get through this and be an amazing mom!! I wish we could all have a huh right now, too!

Sashimi, I would be terrified too, though I have totally faith that the prep an procedures will be well worth it!!

Treasured - the progesterone issue is nonexistent, I think. Doctor saw an abnormality own my uterus on the HSG which turned out to be a small polyp when she got in there. She took it out, of course!

Afm, so glad my surgeries are over and feeling VERY uncomfortable and squeamish today!! It is so crazy that I forgt things--they have me something for anxiety in my drip and it must have knocked me out because I just remember waking up in a different place, apparently after asking 20 times what they'd found! Anyway, glad its done and hope no one else needs to do this ever! But the worst part was probably waiting for it to happen because they were delayed, and getting my IV which thy could thread and was soooooo painful.

Thanks for your thoughts, ladies!! Looks like they helped

 

[Pino6161]

preg_pilot--- I was recommended to get knee surgery about 4 years ago. I decided that until I am in constant pain, I will leave it as it is Sorry your not feeling well!! hopefully the bun in the oven will ease up on you!!

treasured--- If you don't O you don't have an LP. I do know that if it is to short, you have a higher risk of a chemical. Your lp is the time that is given for the egg to implant comfortably, if it is to short the egg can't implant. My LP used to be 14 days. Gosh TTC is so confusing!! By the way, you can change your FF into celsius. Temping is pretty simple.Just take it at the same time right after you wake up without moving around to much. You can take it by mouth, anus, or vaginally. I take it vaginally as I sleep with my mouth wide open So I usually don't take it while on my period. My chart looks really bonkers cause lately I have been a restless sleeper, and having some really weird dreams!!

Lauren--- you get lots and lots of rest, and try to relax!! Are you guys going to start trying this cycle?? Or did the lap mess the cycle up??

 

[Pino6161]

Oh so seriously I had the weirdest dream today!! I don't even want to explain it it was so horrible!! Seriously what is up with me?? It's so frustrating not getting a good nights sleep, and it's messing my chart all up. Me and OH are ready for this cycle to be over and clear that I have ovulated. All this sex is wearing us out! Maybe that's why I'm having weird dreams.....My CBFM was still high fertility today, and only a slight change in temp today, so I guess we will see

I hope everyone is having a good day

 

[countrygirl86]

lxb - I'm so sorry you have to go through another round of meds. Hopefully this round will be easier to take and be the true end finally. I agree with the other ladies that you should take a bit of extra time if you'd like it. It's great to hear your boss took it so well and could relate to your situation! How are you feeling today?

Sashimi - you do have a big decision ahead of you but you've proven to make the right decisions for yourself so I have faith you'll come to the right one. We are here to help you weigh the options too. So they are prepared to start IVF right away, like next cycle? I have full faith that everyone on this thread will get their BFP too!

lauren - I'm so glad you are doing well and they gave you what sounds like great news to me Did they do anything about the cysts? I'm also wondering about when you can start trying again?

treasured - there is a way you can change FF to celsius, I think there's settings or something somewhere. I'm excited for you to start charting

Pino - I have a scan pic from my appt Monday I'll post in my journal

 

[SashimiMimi]

Lauren I'm glad the surgery is done and over with and they cleared the endo! It's amazing that they have given you the green light to TTC naturally!

Country, I'm glad you're feeling good and that everything is going well! As far as I know, I can pretty much start IVF next cycle if I want. I can feel AF starting, I was hoping it would hold off till Friday, so Sunday would be day 3 of my cycle, which is the day I have to start cycle monitoring. Well, it wouldn't be TTC is my body could cooperate with my schedule.

Basically, IVF works like this: The entire process takes 6 weeks. The first 2 weeks you are in the pill to shut your system down, second 2 weeks you are taking loads of injections to start stimulating your ovaries to produce lots and lots of eggs. The pill in the beginning causes your body to respond to the fertility drugs better. So you are doing 4 weeks of prepping and then you do the retrieval. They sedate you and then go in with an extremely long needle and extract the eggs. 3 to 5 days later you go back and they do the transfer. In rare cases, they don't get any eggs, or no eggs actually fertilize. We are hoping that they get enough eggs and that enough of them fertilize so that they can freeze the leftovers and we can go back and do a FET (frozen egg transfer) should our fresh cycle IVF fail. Also our doctor believe that IVF is the only way we will be able to conceive for life. There is little to no chance of me conceiving naturally and I also am running out of time with the low ovarian reserve. I believe with my thyroid problem, my hostile CM, my low ovarian reserve and the slight issue with OH's fertility quality is the reason that we have not had a BFP. Our doctor believes the sperm is surrounding the egg but not penetrating it. With IVF they will do an ICSI where they actually inject the sperm into the egg.

So country and other ladies of the board, I'm going to take you up on helping me weigh my options. I've listed my obstacles including time restraint above, so what would you do? I'm terrified, I'll admit it. But I don't see how taking more time to think about it will ever help me be okay with the outcome no matter what. But the only way I will 100% fail is not to try. The whole process is going to cost $11-15k. My MIL left an inheritance when she passed and OH just got a really nice bonus with his new job, so we can afford it. My work is cooperating with me working from home on certain days. It's like everything is lining up, so I don't see any reason in waiting.

 

[lauren26]

Just a quickie--in lots of discomfort and was hoping to be able to type a lot but it's hard. The cysts weren't just drained they were totally removed. They said my eggs are goog but quality and count may be affected by removing cysts. They almost took my left ovary because it was damaged, but left it in case it can still function. The right ovary is in pretty good shape. Anyway, no we can't try right away. I am not supposed to have anything in my hoo ha for a week--mostly because of the D&C I think. I COULT NOT have sex right now anyway! Thanks for asking you guys I will try to write mor later.

 

[Pino6161]

SashimiMimi--- In my opinion you chances are low w/out IVF right? You have failed IUI's and your hopes have been diminished greatly. I know I am pointing out the obvious, but I would go for it. Even with the time it takes, and the fact it is invasive w/in a short time you would be able to get your miracle. Honestly if I could afford it, I would jump on board just so I can get a bundle of joy. Try not to think about IVF itself, but about what will come out of it.

Lauren---- I am sorry you are not feeling well! Tell them to up your meds!! One really good ovary is better than two that don't work very well. So are you guys going to go lax this cycle then? Feel better!!

 

[SleepyOwl]

Hey all! Finally on a computer so I can respond!!

Lauren - So glad the surgery went well!! How great they were able to remove the cysts and you will be able to try naturally. That is so crazy about your left ovary!! We really don't have any clue what's going on in there - it's nuts. I'm really glad that everything seems to have worked out and I hope you recover quickly and that the pain doesn't last for too long.

Pino - Those whacky cycles and temps can be so frustrating. Hopefully you get a consistent rise soon so you can get a break from all that BD'ing!!

Sashimi - In my opinion, if you are feeling comfortable with the IVF procedures (or at least comfortable enough), I would go ahead and begin as soon as possible. At this point, like you said, waiting probably wouldn't do too much more. Like you said, things seem like they are lining up and it sounds like this is the right timing. If you and OH are emotionally/mentally prepared and feel like you have weighed the options objectively, then I say go for it. Now is as good a time as any. I hope IVF brings you a BFP quickly friend!!

Country - Can't believe you are 12 weeks! So happy that your scan went well

Treasured - Thank goodness for that thermometer!! When I started charting, I felt like it helped so much and I knew what was going on with my cycles as opposed to just guessing. Hopefully charting will give you insight as to when you O and your LP length!!

Haribo - How are you doing girl??

Lxb - I am so sorry you have to keep going through these things. I wish this process could just be over for you soon so you can move on and start trying again. Sending you lots of love friend.

AFM, my temp is still high, but I just went to the bathroom and wiped and there was a little spotting. Not much, but I just know AF is coming because of the spotting, cramps and the overall PMS symptoms. OH has to get his SA this month. He was supposed to get it months ago, but the timing with work didn't pan out. I have to get my thyroid checked because my doctor is concerned with this rapid weight gain I've had this year plus it runs in our family (my mom has a very underactive thyroid). Plus it took my sis so long to conceive, our doc is willing to run a few basic tests just to make sure it's not something small that we can fix quickly. Looks like it will be onto cycle 8 for me.

Hopefully I didn't forget anyone!! I'll try to check in again soon!!

 

[countrygirl86]

Sashimi - If I were you, I would dive in. I know you've been trying over a year now and it does sound like things are lining up nicely for this cycle. Once you get your BFP it won't matter how long it has taken but in the meantime I know the wait is excruciating. It is a very intimidating process. I'd looked into the process thinking it would be our way of conceiving and while it is expensive and uncomfortable, it sounds like your only option and truthfully, I'd do it sooner than later. But if you do decide to wait one more cycle, it makes sense too. I know how much you want it but it's just around the corner either way

lauren - glad you were able to check in! Glad they left the ovary. I'm sure your hoo haa needs that week to rest up, cause once it is it'll be very busy lol