Hi Gem - did it help? Did you manage to have a good talk with your Mum and explain it all? It is very difficult for people who don't go through this to fathom.
My Parents-in-Law (mainly MIL) asked after the previous try, if we didn't want to give up and adopt. I said that there were a few other avenues I would want to explore (as I really wanted to experience pregnancy, giving birth etc.), but that as a final option, I would move to adoption ... but that I wasn't ready to throw in the towel yet. I think it is very difficult for the people who care about us to see us suffering and in so much pain and sadness...
To be honest, I really think it is a combination of many different things, all coming together. Including a huge portion of luck!
As we have clearly seen from our / my experiences, just because the eggs fertilise, does not mean that everything is OK and that they will develop into fully-fledged embryos. And that is just nature - in "healthy" natural cycles, it happens too and there is no pregnancy / chemical ... but because we follow the whole process so carefully, we are that much more aware of it.
From November until my try in December, I did acupuncture and drank chinese herbal teas. I didn't do that this time around, but perhaps it contributed.
Also, even though my thyroid levels were all healthy, there are studies that show, that a TSH value around or below 1 can help. By the time we had this try, the medication I was taking had kicked in and my levels were well below 1. This was "new" for this try. For November/December, the meds weren't working yet, as I hadn't been taking them long enough. Before that, my TSH was between 1,7 and 2,1 - healthy, but can impact TTC.
I have been taking various supplements for over a year now :
CoQ10 in very high dosage (600mg) which aids cell regeneration
Resveratrol (also supposed to aid the cell development)
Zink (helps with immunity)
Vitamin D (my levels were slightly low)
Folic-Acid (higher dosage, as I have some trouble absorbing it)
Magnesium
Big different thing for me this time was doing hypnotherapy. I purchased the MP3s from the site : Natal Hypnotherapy - the ones for IVF and listened religiously every day from the first day of medication (track 2) and then from embryo transfer (track 3) until well after I had my BFP. Once we had seen the gestational sac, I purchased the MP3s for Pregnancy Relaxation and listen to that now religiously every day.
I found it helped immensely with my mindset. With using and "accepting" the medication into my body. With positive suggestion towards all parts of my body, the ovaries, the womb. It significantly improved the quality of my sleep and I was / am much more relaxed.
Our RE had said, that at my age, one can expect to have to have on average (when I was still 37) 7 blastocysts transferred, before achieving pregnancy. Once I had turned 38, this number went up to 9! I have stayed within that statistic
Finally ... luck / nature! So many of the fertilised eggs will not be healthy, will be genetically abnormal, that their development simply arrests (and like I said earlier - that is not due to the treatment, that would happen naturally too - except we wouldn't know it!). If the transferred embryos - even if they look good - are not healthy, then even if pregnancy does ensue for a short while, it probably won't be viable.
So - yes, a big portion of luck, that a healthy embryo (or two) is transferred, that can develop in its new home...
If I look at my journey in a very sober way ... sure, we were at the clinic for 3 years - but we had 9 transfers. Since we know that we can't get pregnant naturally, I won't count the months in between - just the time that we have transferred fertilised eggs. If we think about it, that corresponds to 9 months of "successful" sex, where the sperm finds the egg and fertilises ... perhaps about 9-12 months of trying for a healthy couple? And I think when looking at it that way, is more or less the average time that a healthy couple will need to get pregnant (only just started looking at it this way when writing this post, but to me, it makes sense...).
Due to the fact that we are faced with a disability : infertility - we are helpless. Our only way to get pregnant is through medication, operations... getting help. And that makes it so incredibly hard, because we want to do everything in our power to get pregnant - and it is out of our hands
... so we can try to do our best - live healthily, take supplements, do what the clinics tell us and hope, that we will get lucky!
