Dealing with azoospermia?

[Sar187]

Wow I missed a ton so while I read through everything personals are not going to be the greatest.

Silverbell-so sorry you didn't have better news, I am glad you are starting to feel a little better and just know my thoughts are with you.

SND-Glad you got some good news about them finding the guy that robbed you.

Deb-Hoping things are starting to look up a little bit for you, I have dealt with depression on and off throughout my life and have found that things such as yoga and meditation can sometimes help just enough to make it bearable.

MJ-I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time right now. It is such a tough decision to make. We actually decided against donor when DH and I were discussing our backup plan and decided we were more comfortable going with embryo adoption if either there was no sperm found or if we did 3 IVF cycles with no luck. We may still be looking at this option for future children depending on our success with any future IVF cycles. As to your situation, had we gone with donor I would have definitely wanted an anonymous donor. They can still make sure blood type matches your DH if you want it to, and most places do extensive testing on their donors, and I believe give you a full family history.

deafgal-Your Not too far from me, I'm in Northern IL.

AFM-Just waiting for my next OB appointment antsy for it to be here. I've had almost no symptoms to speak of, except for occasional slight nausea, so I really can't wait to get another look at my baby to make sure its ok. I haven't had any bleeding or anything though either so that reassures me. My belly also is starting to expand a bit more, and my bloat from my swollen ovaries is slowly starting to shift and look more like the start of a baby belly. A little less than 2 weeks until my appointment!

Sorry to those of you missed I hope you are doing well!
I know I saw a new name or 2, welcome to you!

 

[snd80]

Hey Sar! Good to see things are rolling along so well for you! We all can't wait to see if we are are going to have a "niece" or "nephew", cause you know we are all going to be it's "azoo aunties"!

So, can anyone recommend a good book to start reading in prep for when we do finally have our ? I mean, I know the jist of caring for a baby, but I don't wanna be burning the phone up calling my mom or aunt everytime something happens and I don't know what to do! I plan on reading the "what to expect" when I do get pg., but me being me, I am always planning ahead!

Last night my SIL came for a visit and brought her 6 month old baby with her. My hubby was holding her and bouncing her around and she spit up all over him... it was soooo funny seeing his face! He was saying "Do something! Do something!!!!!" I couldn't for laughing sooo hard at him! I told him at least he got his first spit-up outta the way!

Hope everyone is having a great day!

 

[deafgal01]

Sar did not realize we are practically neighbors...pretty cool! Hope the scanshows baby is doing alright!

Snd- you are onto something. azoo aunties love that idea! Not sure about bay advice- they have series of what to expect from a one year old and so forth.

Hope everyone else is doing alright.

 

[raelynn]

Snd you sound like me. I think I am starting to drive hubby nuts with all my pre-planning. I want to have a plan for absolutely everything ahead of time and this limbo period right now is driving me nuts. I think that is so funny your hubby got to experience some of the mess that comes along with babies. I can't wait to see my hubby's first diaper change. He had issues when our dogs were puppies and went everywhere...should be interesting.

MJ - I feel for you on the rough decisions. I definitely see the point on wanting an anonymous donor though. I feel that if the tables were turned, I may resent if I knew the donor...knowing they could provide when I was unable too. Its silly but our emotions often are.

For all you US ladies, I'm in Maryland...don't know if any of you are close by.

Also, how did/are those of you who have already gone through some of the IVF work dealing with work? Did you tell your boss? I figure I'm going to have to since I work the early shift and doubt I'll be able to get the monitoring blood work done in time to get to work on time during rush hour.

Hope everyone else is doing well. Lots of hugs to everyone since I'm sure you're all just as anxious as me to finally get our little ones.

 

[Sar187]

snd-I love that azoo aunties. You still have awhile to wait to find out whether it will be a niece or nephew though as we are going to leave it as a surprise . I can't really give any advice on good books to read i have gotten most of my experience through doing, as has DH, We both have much older brothers and sisters and were always the go to babysitters when our nieces and nephews were little, between the 2 of us we have 24 nieces and nephews. Have even watched them overnight before when really little so got to deal with that too.

rae-I told my bosses I was doing IVF, We were having to drive almost an hour each way for appointments so I by the time we drove had the appt, and got back, I usually missed almost a half day of work. However there were some times I regretted I had told them, as I work in a male dominated environment and there were a few times they made stupid comments that really irritated me. They were very good about time off though, and it helped that I have a very relaxed work environment. I have known several women that have just told their bosses they have a medical condition to deal with that is going to require regular appointments if they didn't want to actually tell them they were doing IVF. I also found my failed IVF hard to deal with at work because they knew they were asking me if it worked and that can be hard sometimes. I think a lot depends on how you think it will be received and how comfortable you are giving your boss that information.

 

[deafgal01]

I don't think it'd be a problem telling my boss about me going thru IVF. She'd probably be one of the best people to understand what it takes actually- because she's a single mother and she bought a donor sperm (anonymous) and had that inserted in her- probably IUI I think... Not sure I didn't ask her for details related to that. Then again when the time comes around, I might not even tell her or anyone at work. I don't know yet. I will see when I cross that bridge- like if it happens during summertime, then I might not even bother saying a word. One of the good things about working at a school... You have like 2 months off in summertime.

 

[MJ73]

Hi Girls,
I'm doing a bit better today, thanks for all the feedback/support. Hearing your opinions on known donor has given me a bit of insight into how DH might feel. After work yesterday I went & had a nice girly chat with one of my besties, so that was good for the soul & a bit of clarity, as is all the caring I've had from you girls. DH & I have decided just to have a break chatting about it till we see our Dr on Feb 15th; hopefully he can give us the cold hard truth on what he thinks our chances are of retrieving sperm.

SND, you always make me giggle with your stories & 'Azoo Aunties' is so cool We have a really good book in Aus called "Babies" by Dr Christopher Green. I have worked with kids aged 0-5 for 20+ years & I like his philosophy. There are SO many books out there & I think they all say something different, so good luck & in the end the best advice I give parents is to trust their own gut instinct.

Sar, so good to see you! It sounds like everything is moving along nicely. What joy for you & DH

raelynn, I told my bosses & they were very supportive. I work as a nanny & start work at 7am & our clinic does testing between 7-9am so I felt like I had no choice but to tell them. I think it all depends upon the bosses, for me it would have caused more problems for my work environment not to tell them.

 

[MJ73]

Oh MJ... How I wish I had some piece of advice. I'm still new to this whole journey so I haven't really crossed that bridge where I have to discuss the option of using donor sperms at all with DH.

It's necessary to have a talk about the options possible. Hopefully your man will come around soon enough and help you decide the best route for you two to take. I don't think it's silly to be worried about your age being a factor here- especially considering you're getting closer to 40. That being said, it's not really impossible for you to be able to get pregnant and carry a baby to full term (although not without risks and lots of close monitoring).

I can see where our men would prefer to use unknown donors as opposed to someone we know. I rather would use someone we know- as it'd be easier for medical purposes should there arise (GOD FORBID) but arise a need for some genes or blood or something from the donor to help the child/baby survive something. That's just my thinking. Maybe it's a silly thing to think about/consider.

If you change clinics- how long would the wait be? I hope it doesn't really take too long if that has to happen. I'd say your best chances are go with the friend who's willing to donate, but that in itself is a risk either way- and it also depends on if your man would be willing to accept that.

Thanks Deafgal, There are definitely some advantages to a known donor. The waiting for appointments can be the hardest part of this. Thanks so much for your feedback hun

 

[deafgal01]

MJ- the waiting part kills to be honest... It's all we ever do... Just wait and wait... I think the tests are all done so we're just now waiting to see what happens. I don't dare hope the medicine works in case it doesn't do the trick.

How are all of you wonderful ladies doing? Any updates on what is happening with y'alls?

At least while I'm waiting, I can keep busy with politics and school and work. My classes have me bugging my parents for answers in regards of "communication" (right now we're focused on language acquisition in English Linguistics). But it's hard answers but those I definitely need to hear because I had no idea exactly how much my parents sacrificed for me- I knew they sacrificed a lot but I didn't realize to what extent. Most of it's emotional and related to my childhood but it's all good...

 

[MJ73]

Oh MJ - sending you and your hubby big hugs My hubby wont even consider donor sperm so these issues are not one we've ever needed to discuss.

Could you get a counselling session at your clinic to discuss things and get some feedback from them on the legal implications etc of your different options? xx

Hey Deb, we had a counselling appt booked in yesterday, but had to cancel because we had to pick up my mum-in-law from hospital. How are things going for you? Just realised that you must be into the start of your FET cycle. Keeping everything crossed for you hun

 

[Deb111]

I told the head teacher at work and the deputy head about the IVF. I just felt I couldn't be nipping out for all these appts and having to have someone cover my classes without explaining and I have to admit they have been great. Plus I have heard some stories about the effects of IVF meds and I needed them to know that if I felt unfit to be in charge of a class of kids; I would be going home.

I have wondered about telling other staff as people have started noticing I'm having some time off, but have only told a couple of close friends. It's not that I'm ashamed of it or mind them knowing, but I couldn't cope with the questions - 'any news yet?' 'did it work?' etc

You could always tell them you have some fertility problems and are having lots of tests and investigations. That way they know it's a sensitive issue, but wont be waiting for or results

AFM - day 7 scan today - all as should be - next scan Tues - time to start the opk's after last cycles mess!

 

[raelynn]

Good Luck Deb!

I'll probably tell my boss just so he knows about the time off and I'll have to tell my team something just so they don't resent me and think I'm slacking off but I have no idea what I'll tell them yet. I don't really have a problem telling them but again its the not wanting them asking about it all the time. When we told our family, we told them straight out that we didn't want to have to talk about it so we would approach them when we had any news.

 

[Deb111]

I'd just tell your team that you're having fertility testing - I'm sure they'd be sensitive enough to not ask any more xx

 

[snd80]

Good luck Deb!!!! xxxx

Hope everyone else is doing ok... I'll try to pop in when I can. Tax refund time has started at my work for me and have been super busy these past few days!!!! Hey! At least it keeps me from eating so much! LOL!

 

[SunUp]

Alright, so we go to the male urology fertility specialist in 2 weeks.
Should have all of our tests done by then.
Its a new kind of 2ww! Lol.
Oh how I am easily amused

 

[raelynn]

We see the urologist in about a week now SunUp. Good luck with your visit! TTC is just full of waiting isn't it? I'm finding it hard to remain patient.

On a positive note, we booked our first cruise today. We decided that we'd need a little TLC after the first round of IVF (whether it is successful or not)

 

[SunUp]

Good luck Raelynn! I just sent you a PM
Oh, and thats a GREAT idea about the cruise! I might do something similar, with tax money - I think a vaca is definitely needed.

 

[Deb111]

Wishing you both the best of luck for your upcoming appts

It's just dawned on me that we're coming up to 2 yrs since the azoo diagnosis and still no baby

 

[deafgal01]

oh Deb. hope this year will change that for you.

 

[wibble wobble]

Wishing you both the best of luck for your upcoming appts

It's just dawned on me that we're coming up to 2 yrs since the azoo diagnosis and still no baby

Big I hope this year brings you your long awaited baby.