Dealing with azoospermia?

[deafgal01]

Sun- wish granted. Sending lots of thoughts and prayers to your direction. Hope for good news for you.

 

[snd80]

Sun- Prayers sent your way!!!! xxx

 

[snd80]

On a different note, got some good news my way yesterday! The sheriff called me to tell me they solved our home breaking and entering case from Nov. and arrested the guy that done it! They retrieved our PS3 and found out that our guns and safe are in a creek and will send the diving team out this week to retrieve them for us! I told my hubby it would be AWESOME if our $ was still in the safe, but I doubt it!!! But then again I would have never thought they would have caught the guy that done it either, so here's to wishful thinking! LOL!

Hope everyone has a great day!!!

 

[deafgal01]

Snd- that's great news. Hopefully the money's still in the safe.. Pretty please, let that be a miracle... Finally I'm glad they caught someone.

 

[Deb111]

Thinking of you SunUp

Fab news snd xx

 

[snd80]

So, I talked to investigator when I picked up our PS3 and he said the guy confessed that he pryed open the safe w/ a crow bar and threw it in a river empty, so no money left! But... if/when he gets outta prison and is on probation, he will have to pay us restitution until it is all paid back. So I might not get back all my $ in one lump, but by the time he starts paying hopefully we will be putting it into a college fund for our little one!

 

[Deb111]

That's good

I think the british justice system could learn a few things from the US!

 

[deafgal01]

Oooh, hope they really keep to that... That'll be a nice little college fund you can start for the baby when you have one!

 

[MJ73]

Hi Girls.
SO proud of all of you who have lost or maintained weight. I still haven't got back to the gym, or gone walking. I just can't seem to get motivated. I'm so annoyed at myself, I mean what could be better motivation than having a baby? Yet, I'd rather sit around than get out & exercise. I'm so frustrated with myself. I've managed to maintain, but that's not good enough. Must get off my butt.

SND, that is such great news about them catching the guy who broke into your place. I hope you will get all your money back & that this guy is forced to make some monetary restitution.

Sun, sending prayers your way

 

[MJ73]

Actually girls, I could do with some advice. DH & I had a difficult chat today about donor sperm & I'd love some feedback from you gals. (Sorry this is a bit long-winded, there is just so much to explain.) I am just a little concerned about them finding sperm when we do our next cycle. Last fresh cycle they had to do 16 needle aspirations & then they finally found sperm through surgical removal. DH still gets pain and is really nervous about having the procedure again (last time he passed out just at the thought of it). I would like us to have some back up sperm to use just in case they cannot find any of DH's (I don't want to waste my precious eggies, I know they can freeze, but defrost success is rare). Our clinic will only use a known donor & we have had a friend very kindly offer to donate. At our clinic it will be at least a four month wait between our friend donating & the clinic releasing the sperm for use (they do a bunch of tests on the donor etc), so if we are going to down this path then I would like to decide soon. The donor & his wife have to go through counselling with us, so even once we get up to that point it may not go through, they may back out. But DH has major issues with using a known donor. I can see advantages to known & anonymous donor.

However, if we decide to go down the anon donor route then we will have to change clinics. I imagine that given my age & health issues that they will want to do IVF/ICSI, not IUI. Anyway, it is a very emotional issue for DH & I just see him retreat back into his shell everytime we talk about these things. I would just love some feedback as it seems that time is ticking away. We're running out of money & therefore options. As I see it we have four options. Give up on using DH's sperm & change clinics & use unknown donor; Go ahead with our full stim cycle in April, with no backup sperm at our current clinic; Use our known donor & have backup sperm for a stim cycle around August. Or just use our frosty & accept that if we get pregnant that it will probably be our only one. (Our RE wants us to do a stim cycle, to get more embies, otherwise if I did get pregnant with our frosty, I would likely be over 40 before we would be able to do another stim cycle= much lower chance of more than one child. I am very aware that statistically our chances at IVF drop from 15% per cycle now, to less than 5% once I turn 40.)

What do you all think about our options? About known Vs Anon donor? Changing clinics? Am I being silly worrying about my age?

I hope this all makes sense. DH got tears in his eyes today & said. "I thought making babies was meant to be easy. I thought that by this stage in our marriage you'd be pregnant with our second " My poor love, I hate to see him suffering like this. Thanks for listening girls. One of those days here...

 

[deafgal01]

Oh MJ... How I wish I had some piece of advice. I'm still new to this whole journey so I haven't really crossed that bridge where I have to discuss the option of using donor sperms at all with DH.

It's necessary to have a talk about the options possible. Hopefully your man will come around soon enough and help you decide the best route for you two to take. I don't think it's silly to be worried about your age being a factor here- especially considering you're getting closer to 40. That being said, it's not really impossible for you to be able to get pregnant and carry a baby to full term (although not without risks and lots of close monitoring).

I can see where our men would prefer to use unknown donors as opposed to someone we know. I rather would use someone we know- as it'd be easier for medical purposes should there arise (GOD FORBID) but arise a need for some genes or blood or something from the donor to help the child/baby survive something. That's just my thinking. Maybe it's a silly thing to think about/consider.

If you change clinics- how long would the wait be? I hope it doesn't really take too long if that has to happen. I'd say your best chances are go with the friend who's willing to donate, but that in itself is a risk either way- and it also depends on if your man would be willing to accept that.

 

[silverbell]

Sun - thinking lots of positive thoughts for you.

Snd - great news on recovering the PS3, though I'm sorry to hear about the cash but at least it sounds like you'll get it back at some point or another.

MJ - sorry I have no advice, but it sounds like there are some very difficult decisions to make. I really hope your DH can come to a solid decision so you have something to work towards. Sending you lots and lots of

 

[WANBMUM]

Actually girls, I could do with some advice. DH & I had a difficult chat today about donor sperm & I'd love some feedback from you gals. (Sorry this is a bit long-winded, there is just so much to explain.) I am just a little concerned about them finding sperm when we do our next cycle. Last fresh cycle they had to do 16 needle aspirations & then they finally found sperm through surgical removal. DH still gets pain and is really nervous about having the procedure again (last time he passed out just at the thought of it). I would like us to have some back up sperm to use just in case they cannot find any of DH's (I don't want to waste my precious eggies, I know they can freeze, but defrost success is rare). Our clinic will only use a known donor & we have had a friend very kindly offer to donate. At our clinic it will be at least a four month wait between our friend donating & the clinic releasing the sperm for use (they do a bunch of tests on the donor etc), so if we are going to down this path then I would like to decide soon. The donor & his wife have to go through counselling with us, so even once we get up to that point it may not go through, they may back out. But DH has major issues with using a known donor. I can see advantages to known & anonymous donor.

However, if we decide to go down the anon donor route then we will have to change clinics. I imagine that given my age & health issues that they will want to do IVF/ICSI, not IUI. Anyway, it is a very emotional issue for DH & I just see him retreat back into his shell everytime we talk about these things. I would just love some feedback as it seems that time is ticking away. We're running out of money & therefore options. As I see it we have four options. Give up on using DH's sperm & change clinics & use unknown donor; Go ahead with our full stim cycle in April, with no backup sperm at our current clinic; Use our known donor & have backup sperm for a stim cycle around August. Or just use our frosty & accept that if we get pregnant that it will probably be our only one. (Our RE wants us to do a stim cycle, to get more embies, otherwise if I did get pregnant with our frosty, I would likely be over 40 before we would be able to do another stim cycle= much lower chance of more than one child. I am very aware that statistically our chances at IVF drop from 15% per cycle now, to less than 5% once I turn 40.)

What do you all think about our options? About known Vs Anon donor? Changing clinics? Am I being silly worrying about my age?

I hope this all makes sense. DH got tears in his eyes today & said. "I thought making babies was meant to be easy. I thought that by this stage in our marriage you'd be pregnant with our second " My poor love, I hate to see him suffering like this. Thanks for listening girls. One of those days here...

Your poor hubby MJ - I want to give him a big hug. I can understand where you are coming from, you almost have too many options.
I'll try to give my opinion, but it is just that. Can I just say, that it sickens me for all of us that finances can have such an impact on our decisions, as if this road is not tough enough. but I guess that is the reality.
Taking finances out of it, I would look at what is important to you 2. Does your hubby have issues around actually knowing the donor? Is this known donor going to have an active part in the baby's life? What legalities are you going to set up? I could see where your hubby, or any man in his situation is coming from in relation to knowing the donor because of the above questions. For us we have decided to use a donor (we have no other choice except for adoption) - so far we plan to tell our child, with the option of when it is 18, to find out more, ie:non-anonymous. We made this decision together, however, if my OH said to me, I wouldnt be able to cope with the baby knowing or finding out, I would really have to make a decision based on what my hubby would be comfortable with, because of the circumstances. Sorry I believe I am waffling but what I mean is, I think it is important you listen to your hubbys concerns and if he is not 100% comfortable with it, I wouldnt go ahead unless he was - to save future issues.
In relation to your age, I understand your concerns, we are told the concerns all the time but, just to let you know, my cousin is 16 wks pregnant with her first, she is 41, through several attempts at IVF, so it can and will happen. I've nearly forgotten the question I have waffled on so much

Ok my opinion is, make sure your hubby is 100% sure about the known donor, don't do it unless he is.
Would it be any harm to contact an alternative clinic, explain your situation, perhaps they can just pick up from where you are, it might be easier than you think? I hope I have made sense. sending u lots of

 

[Deb111]

Oh MJ - sending you and your hubby big hugs My hubby wont even consider donor sperm so these issues are not one we've ever needed to discuss.

Could you get a counselling session at your clinic to discuss things and get some feedback from them on the legal implications etc of your different options? xx

 

[snd80]

Today has been one of "those days"! I kid you not, I have had 10 preggos come through my work making me feel like they were smearing it in my face, walking around the store rubbing their bumps like "Look Nikki, I am pregnant and you aren't! Haha!"... my hubby called and I told him why I was so down. He told me not to worry about it, that ours was coming soon enough and wouldn't be "a dollar store baby", that ours would be top of the line and straight off the showroom floor! LOL! He was trying to make me feel better, bless him! But you all know how much it hurts. Men can never really understand how we feel in situations like this... what a day!

 

[snd80]

MJ- sending you and your hubby !

My hubby refuses to use a known donor. He said he didn't want the donor around after it was all said and done.... and I can understand! It is already one blow to not be able to father a child, let alone have the one that can be in the picture too.

Keep strong my friend! Your answer will come soon enough, one way or another!

 

[Deb111]

Sorry you've had a tough day snd - hubby tries to be positive too when things like that happen - he tells me the fact that yet another friend has announced a pregnancy has no impact on our chances - it's not like now they're pregnant; it means we can't be anymore - but I get where you're coming from - it's a kick in the teeth

Big hugs

 

[deafgal01]

SND aw that sucks about having that many come into work. Love what your man said to you though to cheer you up. Yep, the guys don't understand how hard we have it... We gotta deal with the emotions too on top of all of that.

 

[snd80]

Thanks girls! Hope today is a no-show for the preggos!

dg01- just noticed you are from the USA.... where from?

 

[deafgal01]

Snd, I'm up in the north- Indiana.