*~Dec Stars 09 Chat Thread~*

[Elski]

Chuck - I hear this far too often. Unfortunately maternity services vary widely and in some areas they can be quite poor. Our local hospital has a lovely birth centre but regularly gets a slagging for the poor attitudes of staff. I've got a meeting today with the Head of Midwifery. My 'business associate' and I are going along to see how we can work with them to improve women's birth experiences...

JD - someone got me a baby lullaby CD by Ansty Cowfold (called Lullabies for the Discerning Baby, hahaha!) and is all sung softly in folk song style. It's lovely!

How is everyone today?

 

[chuck]

Tired, Dewi was a pain again last night.

I am sick of feeds every 3 hours and not settling after 3am, or going back in his crib only to wake after 5 minutes - just long enough for me to get comfy in bed.

My baby hates me.

 

[Elski]

Course he doesn't

Esmé never settles properly after her 3/4am feed so I only ever get proper sleep between 12am-3am. It's horrible and hard, but it won't always be like this, it WILL get better.

 

[chuck]

I have to go back to work the end of the month how the hell can I teach this tired? The kids are going to destroy me!

 

[Elski]

Tough one, I definitely couldn't do my current job properly on the sleep I'm getting at the moment. Is your OH helping out in the night?

 

[chuck]

Nope because he is working.

He sees it that looking after Dewi is my job, when I go to work it'll be more shared..BUT I know it'll be me doing more because he isnt used to doing it and finds it hard because Dewi wont settle with him because he isnt used to him!

 

[Elski]

Can he introduce his help slowly, starting now, maybe a couple of nights a week? He needs to learn how to settle him (my OH does too!).


Does he wake at the same times each night and how much does he take at his night feeds?

 

[chuck]

I'm starting to get hubby to do more and he knows he needs to do more...I had his Mam on the phone crying because when we went to stay she could see he isnt doing anything!

As for times its not really set its all on demand but he'll eat roughly every 3 hours..unless we're out and then he'll go agggeesss.

But generally its around midnight, 3am and then 6am I cant get any more than 4and a half oz down him and sometimes he wont even do that..other times he'll take the whole 5oz bottle (but rarely). SO I cant just fill him up to get him to go longer its annoying.

I end up with him in bed with me if he wont settle in his crib because thats the only way for all of us to get sleep...I'm quite conscious of hubby in the same room tossing and turning if we're up and Dewi is fussing. Plus I need the sleep! Its an awful habit that now I have to work massively hard to break - I keep resolving to not put him in bed and than there'll always be something like hubby or me getting ill and it being easier or an early start and needing sleep or hubby having a big day at work....the usual.

I hate our awful nights but cant seem to shake the bad habits, i guess its a bit of a symptom of having no support and me being tired.

I get very frustrated and angry at that 3/4am unsettled time and its not fair on the poor boy he cant help it!

Its just sooo horrible when you feed/burp settle/put down wait a few mins get back into bed get comfy and then the snuffles start and then the fast breathing and then the crying!!!!!!!! arrrrggghhhh

 

[Elski]

I have LO in the bed with me too. When she starts fussing after her 3/4am feed, I bring her in the bed and literally have to lie there and hold her arms down by her sides as she thrashes around so much that she just constantly wakes herself up for the rest of the night. You do what you've gotta do to snatch a few extra winks of sleep and you basically HAVE to do that in order to function properly so I don't think you should be so hard on yourself about bringing Dewi into bed with you.

You never know, it may not be such a hard habit to break, yeah sure, there's bound to be a few difficult nights where he's trying to get used to it being different but it may not be as hard as you think.

Is he definitely hungry when he wakes up? Or do you think he might just be waking out of habit? I take it he can't self-settle yet? Esmé can't and I think once we can get her to do this (or she can get herself to do this!), nights will be a whole lot easier.

I know exactly what you mean, when you put them back asleep, you creep back into bed and close your eyes and then the fussing starts. Don't feel bad for feeling angry, I get proper stressed out with it too. Sleep is soooo important and being denied it is horrible so it's not surprising you get pissed off.

Is there anything OH can do so you get even an extra hours sleep? Can he get up an hour earlier and take Dewi downstairs with him so you can have a bit extra sleep?

 

[JayDee]

Aww Charlie that's what Jake was like for the first month, then we put him in his cot rather than crib and he just snapped out of it, hopefully Dewi will too.

Just been watching Katie Price on This Morning, can't believe she's just announced that she's on her period! As if we care, and 2 seconds after saying she was going to be more private about her marriage this time!

 

[Elski]

Aww Charlie that's what Jake was like for the first month, then we put him in his cot rather than crib and he just snapped out of it, hopefully Dewi will too.

Just been watching Katie Price on This Morning, can't believe she's just announced that she's on her period! As if we care, and 2 seconds after saying she was going to be more private about her marriage this time!

God, that woman's a dickhead isn't she I quite liked her when she was on I'm a Celeb the first time but over the last couple of years, she's turned into a right knob.

 

[chuck]

yeah he's defo hungry, I cant settle him in with me until he's eaten, the longer we leave it the louder and more distressed he gets!

Hubby already gets up at about 6am so unless he gets up at 5am and takes Dewi and by 5am he's usually asleep with me theres not much we can do. Its very annoying!!

I just wish he'd get out of the 3/4am waking thing its really getting me down

I'm sure once I can fill him up he'll go longer but who knows!

 

[Elski]

It can be so frustrating sometimes it really gets me down as it seems there'll never be an end to it, then some bright spark will say something like "oh mine still doesn't sleep through the night and he's two" and you just think noooooooooooooooo!

Hope things get better before you go back to work. Are you going back full time?

 

[pink23]

charlie, i hope dewi gets a rotine soon. i thought we had a routine he would go 10-5 but now he wakes at 3am sometimes has a bottle then wakes at 6am. i sometimes have to have him in the bed with me because thats the only way he sleeps longer.
Last night caleb was fussy and he's only on 5oz bottle used to take 6 but keeps leaving it so puy it to 5. but he was hungry last night and took nearly an extra 3 oz.
The 4am is worst time to wake because unless youve had sleep in day your still tired and when your feeding them you feel like your going back to sleep.
I think the only real thing that frustrates me is when he takes forever with his bottle then an hour later he wants another one.

Its dull here but not cold out really. ive done majority of housework just hoovering and put clothes in tumble dryer. (the one thing i hate baout living in a flat. Calebs stuff are one the airer in bathroom.

Hope everyone is ok and lo's to.

 

[JayDee]

Jake still wakes up at 3/4am every day, but he normally goes to sleep at 9/10ish and will sleep after his feed for another few hours till 7ish so he effectively skips the feed that should be about midnight. I read something the other day that says they get bigger stomachs soon so can go longer between feeds - hope that's the case. I don't mind being woken up once in the night, I think I'm pretty lucky that he only wakes once and goes down pretty easy, but if he wakes up at 4ish, he doesn't go down again till 4.45/5ish and the alarm goes off at 6.45 for DH and he finds it hard to get back to sleep. Luckily the alarm doesn't wake Jake so I sometimes get an extra half hour in bed.

No idea what it'll be like when I'm at work too, think the BF will def have to be at least mixed with FF during the day, I know I could pump during the day at work, but it sounds quite a hassle and probably wouldn't get enough to feed him anyway. Hopefully, by then he'll be on first tastes of other stuff so it won't be as bad to get him to take formula too.

Anyone any interesting plans for the day? Nothing doing here, although it's quite nice outside so will probably go for a walk once I've had some lunch.

 

[lorna84]

Charlie, I really hope Dewi finds a routine for you soon

How is everyone?

 

[sweetlullaby]

Hey everyone :waves:

Yesterday was not a great day. Mid afternoon til after 10pm last night Matthew kept screaming and crying. It was really strange. Noticed about 9pm when changing his nappy that he was fine with the nappy off and noticed he had a very red patch on his wee willy so slathered in sudocrem and put on a baby dry nappy thinking maybe his pee was making it worse iykwim. He kept crying and his temperature went up a bit and he kept chewing and chewing and drooling so I ended up giving him half a dose of baby nurofen and he had a bottle and was sleeping by 10.15pm and slept through to 7am.

Dont know if it was aftereffects of his jabs, his wee willy (which is a lot better today) or teething lol or all three He was even off his milk a bit.

Charlie I really hope Dewi settles into a routine or even starts sleeping through better soon! Sounds random but suggestion for you to try If he has a bottle around 4-5 pm and goes 3 hours to the next one offer him it an hour early sort of feed at 4pm then 6.30pm if takes 30 mins to drink his bottle. Then offer him a bottle again at 8.30pm then if he falls asleep even if he's sound asleep dreamfeed at 10.30pm-11pm and it should cut out the 1am ish feed and then hopefully the 4am feed Doesnt work for every baby its like the E.A.S.Y routine and im terrible at explaining but it works by "tanking up" in the evenings so he's fuller and sleeps longer.

Matthew sometimes takes an hour to drink his bottle then messes up the rest of his feeds for the day lol He wont usually sleep before midnight but then will go through to morning the nap for an while straight after his first bottle then a 30mins-45 min nap and that'll be it right through til midnight lol

 

[Kirstin]

How much milk are your LOs drinking? Vincent has about 30-36oz a day and was going 4 hours between bottles but for the past 2 days hes been going 3, not sure whether to increase the amount or just feed him every 3 hours?

 

[JayDee]

Aww, poor Matthew, hope it's just the injections and he gets over it soon
Not a bad idea about giving the feed a bit earlier, we sometimes do it with Jake, not sure it makes a difference, but it certainly doesn't hinder. I have no idea how to dreamfeed though, never tried that?

I have no idea how much he eats cos I'm BF but he's normally hungry every 2.5-3 hours during the day, but will go longer during the night. When he has EBM he needs 7-8oz in a feed, if he has that every feed then he has about 50 oz a day! Sure it'd be less if he was on formula though.

 

[inxsmhpy]

Hey everyone sooooooooooooooo tired my heads pounding! I kind of know how you feel Charlie the 4am feed has become a regular for Skyla and after I have been putting her bed with me too. But now she often wakes earlier than 4am and of course she expects to come into bed then too......so I feel I must break this habit! Also I have always let her fall asleep in my arms before she does go in her cot but now she is fussing more and more so I think I should get her used to settling from awake. I feel completely overwhelmed tbh.

Honestly couldn't imagine going back to work anytime soon!

Hope everyone else and their LO's are well