*~Dec Stars 09 Chat Thread~*

[purpledahlia]

my mum or sister on weekends but if it is weekdays i will have to put her into nursery.

But, now im back to square one, with everything. im so fed up.

I cant get to a job without a car, and i cant get a car. and i cant get a car unless we sell our old house. I cant get a flat without full HB but i wont qualify for any HB if i go back to uni. And i cant get to uni without a car. And i cant get to view flats without a car. But i cant get a car! And its pissing me off more and more when i try to speak to my dad about it because he pays my brothers car insurance, he bought the car, my brother is 2 yrs younger and has had a car for like 2 years, yeh they wont help me and it would further my life and abilities to provide for ava if i had one. My brother is planning on leaving the country in summer and my sister turns 17 in may. ANY BETS she gets his old polo... any bets! ill be F*cking raging! I know i will sound stroppy just now but how is that fair?! forget ages and forget whats happening in our lives, how is it fair to give 2 of ur kids a car and not the other, and the other is the OLDEST and most sensible, and the one who does the food shopping for the house etc.

I got a call from an agent about a flat i had asked about which was back on the market, and he said i could go view it etc, had to ring my dad to check and he wouldnt take me to view it. bet its gone now. im so fed up. a car on finance would be about 120 a month and insurance about 30 a month ish, i could pay the insurance if they could help with the payments untill i get a job and get sorted, i know they can afford that. my brothers insurance is MORE THAN THEIRS a year! and they pay it!

I dont even know what else to do now. ive exausted every avenue for everything. Im applying for a job in the next village, think a GAP is opening there. But now im like, do i submit it knowing i dont have transport to get there?

So basically i cant do anything except stay here in hellville being skint and living in one room and only being able to go up to the village when its nice weather. And cleaning up after other people all the time and being bored and getting in trouble if something ''baby related'' is in the way.

This is not how i planned my life to go.

rant over.

 

[purpledahlia]

oh and also the nursery is in a different village too, so i would need a car to get her there and get to a job for 9am! i give up

 

[chuck]

Sorry I cant catch up properly but Claire HUGS!!!

I had a wicked weekend in London while Dewi stayed with grandma, Oliver! was awesome, it was lovely to have soe time with Hubby iykwim! lol.

In other news my laptop has died so I cant get online...I'm online for 5 minutes now becasue today was first day back at work...huff.

But its Easter hols for 2 weeks after 2moro so not so bad I guess Dewi has his taster days at nursery next week.

Hope things arent too bad for everyone!

I will catch up soon!

I miss you guys!

 

[pink23]

hi charlie glad you had a nice time, shame you've had to go back to work. I need to start looking for a job just don't know what to do plus i don't want to leave caleb with anyone :- (x college went ok but think i will have to do the part time course cos my english is crap. I don't mind but next july we wanted to ttc and i would be pregnant for year 2 x i had to write a essay on why honesty is the best policy , i wrote what i thought and did my best. Claire hope you get something sorted it's horrible not having your own independence. X oh before i forget caleb got weighed and he,s 13lb 7 he has put a 1lb on in 3 weeks. His cousin who is 7 weeks is 12lb 6 but is quite long x x

 

[FlowerFairy]

Oh Claire. That doesn't seem fair at all. Can you sit them down for a chat and explain just how much help it would be for you to get a car?
Hope you get things sorted xx

Hi Charlie :waves: Hope work was ok ?x Faye, well done on Calebs weight gain, xx

 

[purpledahlia]

well, i said to my dad about how i cant apply for a part time job untill i know i can get there, and same for uni, and he said a car can be done afterwards and should have a job or uni in place first That a car can ''be bought on the same day'' ... So you CAN afford it you just dont want to help me?! I feel like its some kind of punishment, all ive ever asked for is the use of a car, for my bday for xmas, for my next bday for my next xmas, but i feel completely ignored. I cant go for an interview and lie about having a car and transport to get there. I cant even get to interviews without one so i dunno what he's thinking of.

Then i had asked him to help me wit the child trust fund stuff and he just brought the folder back and said, put it in bank of scotland stakeholders, i dont even know what a stakeholder is! i NEVER have understood stuff like this, I said to him i didnt want shares, £750 is too much to risk for her. He was just like, its £250. No, she will get £500 and another £250 when shes 7 dad! so i stil dont know what to do. Even if i know 'where' to put it i dont even know how.
Might even have to ask matt if he can look at the website but then that doesnt have all the info does it?

i just wanna cry today. I didnt even get dressed, there was just no point. couldnt go anywhere or do anything.

 

[Kirstin]

hi charlie glad you had a nice time, shame you've had to go back to work. I need to start looking for a job just don't know what to do plus i don't want to leave caleb with anyone :- (x college went ok but think i will have to do the part time course cos my english is crap. I don't mind but next july we wanted to ttc and i would be pregnant for year 2 x i had to write a essay on why honesty is the best policy , i wrote what i thought and did my best. Claire hope you get something sorted it's horrible not having your own independence. X oh before i forget caleb got weighed and he,s 13lb 7 he has put a 1lb on in 3 weeks. His cousin who is 7 weeks is 12lb 6 but is quite long x x

The HV said vincent was long yesterday but when she last measured him he was on the middle line so who knows Vincent put 2lbs on in 4 weeks

 

[lorna84]

Nic, sorry you have snow again

Claire, That doesnt seem fair at all

Charlie, Im glad you had a good weekend sorry your laptop is broke that sucks

Faye, Im sure you did fine wtg Caleb on the weight gain

:wave:

How is everyone?

Were doing good

 

[pink23]

hi lorna im fine thanks. caleb is doing great. we had to put a hat on his head because he keeps scrathing his cradle cap and it was bleeding.

caleb smiles a lot more and he makes me laugh when he does his talking.

 

[FlowerFairy]

well, i said to my dad about how i cant apply for a part time job untill i know i can get there, and same for uni, and he said a car can be done afterwards and should have a job or uni in place first That a car can ''be bought on the same day'' ... So you CAN afford it you just dont want to help me?! I feel like its some kind of punishment, all ive ever asked for is the use of a car, for my bday for xmas, for my next bday for my next xmas, but i feel completely ignored. I cant go for an interview and lie about having a car and transport to get there. I cant even get to interviews without one so i dunno what he's thinking of.

Then i had asked him to help me wit the child trust fund stuff and he just brought the folder back and said, put it in bank of scotland stakeholders, i dont even know what a stakeholder is! i NEVER have understood stuff like this, I said to him i didnt want shares, £750 is too much to risk for her. He was just like, its £250. No, she will get £500 and another £250 when shes 7 dad! so i stil dont know what to do. Even if i know 'where' to put it i dont even know how.
Might even have to ask matt if he can look at the website but then that doesnt have all the info does it?

i just wanna cry today. I didnt even get dressed, there was just no point. couldnt go anywhere or do anything.

Stakeholder is shares. You want deposit account.
I can tell you anything you need to know about CTF and savings cos that's my job.
Don't get upset hun. xxx

 

[Kirstin]

hi lorna im fine thanks. caleb is doing great. we had to put a hat on his head because he keeps scrathing his cradle cap and it was bleeding.
View attachment 72629
caleb smiles a lot more and he makes me laugh when he does his talking.

vincent done that last night he has scratches on his head

 

[purpledahlia]

I'll take another look at the CTF things on friday, Matt said a savings acc is better and just go in and ask someone, he said a building society is better.. but nobody will help me till ive chosen them. Ill let it go for now giving me a headache!

 

[Kirstin]

I wouldn't put it in a stakeholder, anything could happen to the economy in 18 years.

 

[purpledahlia]

thats what i was trying to say to my dad but he wouldnt talk me thru why he said that. m just going to ignore him

 

[lorna84]

Morning

How is everyone?

we did go for a stakeholder account but I know its not for everyone, if you dont feel comfortable taking the risk than go for a savings one

 

[JayDee]

Claire - I know what you mean about parents being unfair. I went to uni but stayed at home so I needed a car to get there. My mum and dad bought the car and paid my insurance/servicing/repairs for the first year then said I had to pay it. I did have a job as well as uni so it wasn't the end of the world but it was £500/year I think. I didn't pay any rent/board but didn't get any money from them either.
My brother didn't go to uni, but didn't get a job either, he wants to be a pro golfer so spent time on that instead. He lives rent free, board free, and got not one, but 2 cars bought for him (he wrote the first one off) and has only paid his own insurance in the past couple of years. He's 26 now, I moved out when I was 22!
Doesn't bother me THAT much, cos I don't need the money now, I'm more than happy that my mum is going to look after Jake a bit when I go back to work - that'll save me money in childcare and mean he's with someone who loves him.

CTF - I don't know. I thought I wanted a savings one but the stakeholder ones are going to buy shares when they are so cheap (ie now) that it seems very unlikely that they'll be lower in 18 years time, esp as they put your money into less risky industries/companies in the last couple of years. I don't know, whatever you choose it's a gamble, I haven't decided yet.

Got my friend and her baby coming round later - anyone else got any plans?

 

[sweetlullaby]

:wave: Morning everyone!

Claire Thats unfair. I hate the way families can be I know mine can be just as bad! Im just waiting on hearing hopefully so I can get out of here! Its awkward though I can't drive at all And could not afford to pay bills, go to uni at some point, have a car, pay insurance etc all at the same time so its gonna have to be a step at a time for me slowly!

Chuck - Hope you're ok! Its horrible when laptops die etc its scary how much we rely on them! Hope being back at work is going ok for you and that Dewi settles into nursery ok!

Pink - Hope Caleb is ok Matthew's cradle cap dissapears and comes back a teeny bit it's just catching it and slathering it in boots own baby oil (works really well for us) He looks so gorgeous!!

I went for stakeholder I think....can't remember lol but only because there was no savings ones anywhere near me etc! I just opened a seperate kiddies savings account for him that I can put money in so it could be accessed in a big emergency or something!

Matthew has a big scratch on his nose he pulls his scratchmitts off and only has a few sleepsuits with built in ones it's a nightmare trying to do his nails properly. Yesterday I got 3 fingernails cut and filed properly lol

Hope everyone is ok

No big plans today shop just so I can try out his new pram lol

 

[purpledahlia]

No plans here either, I didnt go to babygroup cos ava was up quite late being very fussy i think its her teeth

We woke at 6am then went back to sleep till 11.

SL - did you know that you wont get any housing benefit if your a student? I just found this out so im not sure what im gonna do about uni, i'd like to go, but i definately dont wanna live here for 3 more years!

 

[pink23]

hi everyone, hope your all ok xx i hate cutting calebs finger nails. i forget to do it when he's asleep so when i do it he's awaks e and such a wriggler.
He is really fighting his sleep now and he only seems to get a 30min nap in then goes to bed about 8/9.
Caleb moves so much in his cot at night. I put him towards the bottom last night and when he woke at 5 he was in the top corner. luckily i had taken his bears out barring one. i think i will have to buy a sleeping pod thingie because if he keeps doing this he wont be warm.
he nearly roleed over yesterday so i have to watch him now if hes on his mat on the floor x
I think im having hall plastered 2moro just got to check with my dad tonight and then saturday me and caleb are going to see my grandparents in somerset with my mom and dad.xx

 

[JayDee]

SL -Jake's scratched his nose as well - he did it at some point between 5am and 8am, when he was asleep/playing in his cot before I got him out. I tend to do his nails when he's feeding as he's quite relaxed then, but it's quite hard trying to do it one handed. If I don't do it quick enough he manages to pull his nails right down near the pink bit, and I have to pull them across (can't clip that low down) - it'd hurt like hell on us but he doesn't even flinch, weird isn't it?

Faye - Jake wriggles about in his cot too, manages to kick the covers off and spin 90 degrees so his legs keep going between the bars at the side sometimes. Luckily I think he only really does it when he first wakes up rather than when he's asleep so he doesn't stay like it for very long.

Claire - it's a bit rubbish that you don't get housing benefit if you're a student, seems mental that they would rather you sit at home on your bum rather than educate yourself, although I suppose if you got it all students would want it wouldn't they? Is it the same if you do open university from home rather than attend a university? DH started a course on there about 18 months ago (it's on hold at the min cos he didn't want to be working full time, studying and trying to spend time with Jake) and it seems quite good, better than I was expecting. I would think you'd be entitled to do them for free as well. Depends what you want to study I suppose, imagine it doesn't work for all subjects.