Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[LucyJ]

Allie I responded in your journal again I am so sorry it's an awful situation you are in. You can't do anymore than you've done if Alex isn't prepared to try. You need to think about yourself and Alistair. I really hope he will stop being so cruel there's just no need for it & you don't deserve that treatment.

Mel that's great news you've got a date. That's so sweet about Kash & the dr Benjamin always tried to go into the drs room think he wants up help them. We lost him for a very short amount of time at the hospital when we were there for a scan & he was in with nurses

Hearty gorgeous pic glad you had a great Mother's Day.

Hoping going to check out your journal so glad it went well.

Round how are you? How's your mum doing?

Sparkly how are you & your girls doing?

Nato how are you? Thinking of you.

I've got to go for another blood test tomorrow as the dr who did my last one didn't check everything so going for full blood count plus my B12 and iron levels.

to all

 

[msarkozi]

very nice picture Hearty

um, NO! lol! This doesn't seem like it is flying by, but I think it's because I have been pregnant all of winter, which was unusually long this year. I am glad it is almost over with though, as this diabetic diet is starting to get old already, and it's only been 3 weeks lol!

That is so cute about the feet.

I didn't get anything for Mother's Day...was just a regular day for me of doing all the housework and everything...although, I did get Gord to fold Kash's laundry last night lol!

Lol that's cute about Benjamin Luce...maybe he was trying to flirt already

 

[VGibs]

Mel - Yay Canada day baby! You'll be able to crack a cold one for the holiday LOL You should get "I vow to help out more at home" written in your wedding vows. I can't complain really Ian helps out a lot around the house.

Hearty - Wine country...the idea literally made me drool. LOL

AFM...

Spoiler

I am suffering from insane headaches. I checked with my midwife everything is fine with me...just another annoying pregnancy thing. I am having husband/10 yr old issues. Ian grew up in a boarding house and his family was pretty much a non-entity during his childhood. When he did see his family, his mother doted on him and his father was a real asshole *still is*. So he thinks that he needs to be insanely strict with Aurora. Often making up rules and punishing her for minor issues. Well she has grown up with me, and me alone. I was Mommy and Daddy for most of her life. So she thinks that she can be a smarty pants, and a wise mouth to him. Which just makes him more angry and he gets more strict. Half the time I feel like a referee between the two of them and I am SO worn out from the whole situation. Then my mother gets involved and bitches at me that Ian treats her horribly and that he never has a kind word to say to her, and she tells Aurora the same thing. Then she spoils Aurora because she thinks that no one loves her enough. My mother has a nasty habit of pointing out what she sees to everyone except the person who she is annoyed with. So not only am I caught between Ian and Aurora. But then I get my mother adding to it as well. And instead of helping the situation everyone just keeps adding to it. Ian doesn't see anything wrong with it and Aurora can't figure out what she is doing wrong. I have tried talking to Ian on numerous occasions, he has been doing better but then it takes one little thing and it all starts all over again. I would drag him to some kind of councilor but the truth is...we can NOT afford it. And he would be so reluctant to do that it would be a waste of time and money.

 

[msarkozi]

I would love that in my vows, but I have been trying so hard for 4 years now, and I just don't see it happening. I tell him all the time that Kash is a way better helper then he is, and that it's funny that Kash knows to clean up his messes but he doesn't. He keeps telling me that he's almost 40 years old and too old to train. Friggin drives me crazy. He was bitching about how much tv Kash watches now all of a sudden last night, and I said to him, where do you think he gets it from?! I said you get home from work and all you do is lay on the couch and watch tv all night long, same as when you are on your days off....so he is getting that idea from you that it's ok to do that. He doesn't agree with me, go figure

hmmmm, I'm really not sure what to do there Gibs. Other then sitting them both down together and saying that each one has to show each other a little more respect, and suggest the two of them have a day together to do some kind of activity they both enjoy in order to get the bond stronger? I really don't know though

 

[VGibs]

Wanna know whats weird? Ian came home and I was playing with meme upstairs and him and Rora were having a big heart to heart in the kitchen. Kind of working it out without me having to say anything...now to handle my mother. Man I wish I could have a glass of wine.

 

[Sugarlove2]

So sorry to hear all the sad news on here. Nato and Allie I'm thinking of you and sending my love

 

[hoping:)]

Lucy- I’m sure Ben was charming all of the nurses too! I hope all the blood tests tomorrow turn out great.

Mel- seriously? Are you ok with not having Mother’s Day celebrated or with him not helping out? This would not fly with me at all especially with a wedding to plan and a new baby on the way. Marriage is a partnership so I really hope he gets it together before you burn out. You really are super woman with as much as you do!

Gibs- I hope the headaches get better. The step parent issue sounds tough. It’s not fair that you get caught in the middle so often and now have to deal with your mother’s remarks as well. I’m happy to hear that Ian and your daughter are trying to work it out on their own. Good luck with your mom!

Hi, Sugar!

 

[msarkozi]

That's good to hear Gibs....mother's are always a pain in the ass to deal with, so good luck lol!

hoping, I'm not really ok with it. This is my 3rd one though and I haven't gotten anything for any of them yet. The first one, I was away for 3 weeks and I had a hair appt and massage booked for myself...so Gord said that was my mother's day gift, which it wasn't. Then last year, he f**ked off to Manitoba with his cousins to work with them and left a few days before mother's day and I got nothing then. And once again this year, I got nothing. He was in High Level yesterday and I was like you couldn't even buy me flowers while you were there?!

And about him not helping around the house, I am definitely not ok with it. I nag and nag and I get to the point that I just end up doing it myself. It's a pain in my butt, but it has to get done. I've always said that I am a single parent in a relationship. I don't know how I manage to do it all, and I am hoping he starts helping me more once little Riley gets here (but I am not holding out for it).

So my mom texted me last night to let me know she got her mother's day gift and to thank me for it. She said thanks for Kash's artwork (I framed a painting of his handprints for her) and the card, but she didn't get what the blue artwork was about. I was like blue artwork?! I said squeeze the sides of it and open it up to see what's in it. she texts me back saying oh lol and thank you. it was a necklace with a locket that had charms in it saying grandma and what not. I was killing myself laughing at her..told her I thought she was smart enough to know to open it.....now I am hoping Gord's mom doesn't do the same thing when she gets hers lol!

 

[vickyd]

We never celebrate mothers day either! We also never do the valentines thing haha!! I just find these celebrations tacky, i mean when Hero is older i'll love any artwork from her but i would cringe if Alex got me flowers or something. But im weird and wired like a man as Alex likes to point out ALL the time haha!!

 

[hoping:)]

Mel- I’m sorry to hear that. He really won the lottery when he got you… a great mother and a wonderful wife to take care of him. I hope he realizes what he has. The gifts you got for your mom and MIL (or soon to be) sound lovely! Does Gord do stuff for his mom on Mother’s Day or do you take care of it?

Vicky- haha… wired like a man. I'm sure your hubby appreciates that about you!Lots of people don’t do the commercial holiday thing either. Tim was one of them but I go crazy for every holiday so he kind of learned through example and because he know how much it means to me. I get the holiday crazies from my mom. She always had decorations, special treats and gifts for us on every holiday. Holidays were her specialty so I want to carry on the tradition.

oh, and its nice to know I'm not the only one who has a quirky child that likes to sniff feet

 

[msarkozi]

lol, I hope he does realize it too. I am the one that takes care of all the gifts. He really has no relationship with his mom, but I don't feel right leaving her out (although I should, as she only talks to us when she wants money).

I am planning the father's day gift already for my dad, and I want to make a moose with Kash's footprints (he always says moose to my dad, so I thought it would be fitting). I am just not sure how to make it exactly yet, so if you have any ideas, please shoot them my way

lol Vick!

 

[hoping:)]

What a cute idea! could you maybe have Kash do a foot print for the head of the moose and hand prints for the antlers?

 

[msarkozi]

that would definitely work, thanks

 

[NatoPMT]

I went back up north on Monday and was with dad when they told him the results of the scan, and that it is inoperable. Its a bit more complicated than that for a specific diagnosis for which need needs a procedure on Monday, but we all know exactly what is being talked about. My poor dad

We went to see him on Tuesday morning and got a private room and talked for 2 hours. We talked about how he felt and what he thought the results meant ("that I'm done for"), his ex, who he lives with but still doesn't know how ill he is, his will, his funeral, and his regrets - he thought he had longer and he wishes he'd had a retirement. It was that hardest thing I've ever done, but at the same time, not as hard as I thought. Dad was quite pragmatic and so brave. He only got visibly upset at one point when I started crying and I cant get the image out of my head. He just said "Lu, I'm disappearing". He said he was having dark thoughts and wished he had kept the pills he was given after a kidney op. We asked him not to have those thoughts on his own, or do anything on his own

The whole thing is a mess though, his ex, the family he has in his properties, we have already had outbursts and door slamming from the ex, arguments and all sorts... My sister called me naive and I called her cold and calculating. She's still not talking to me despite my apology (although she was talking about splitting dad's land to get more money, that sort of talk can wait). I'm putting that to the back of my mind for now but we will have to spent a lot of time together in the coming weeks. She'll get over it hopefully.

He doesn't have long, as soon as I saw him I knew. The thing I am most thankful for is that he's not in pain yet. The hardest part is yet to come, he wants to come home, so we need to care for him. We dont have official diagnosis so that makes getting care a bit harder. I'm going back on Monday for the week, then the Monday after but my toddler will never see him again. I can't think any further than that.

Allie, I'm so sorry. Once a person makes their mind up (whether they involved you in that process...or not), the shutters often come down, its easier for them to defend their own emotional hurt that way otherwise they are still going through the pain of making that decision, its a defence which unfortunately leaves you in the cold. That doesnt mean someone will never change their mind back, but I dont think you have any choice in that situation at this point. I'm not surprised you feel you cant function. Feeling this bereft is like physical pain. I'm glad you have your little boy to give you some comfort. Im so sorry x

Thanks for the fb messages hearty and hoping, Ive only just got home and need to collect the weasel so will try and answer later.

x

 

[Allie84]

Nato, I want to respond properly but I'm running late and literally getting out the door as I type.... we are here for you and thanks for sharing with us. I'm sure your sister will come around and I know you will get through this. As for me, thanks for the kind words...I really wasn't sleeping or eating, but Alex finally opened up to me and he had a lot of unsaid issues that he addressed. We are going to 'start over' and I feel so relieved. But enough about me, you're in my thoughts and I will write more later. xxx

Am I right in reading your won't bring Eloise to see him? Is that his wish or yours or a combination?

 

[NatoPMT]

Wonderful!! That's the best news I have heard in a long time, thanks for making me smile x

 

[LucyJ]

Lucy Im so sorry for you but glad you had some time with him were you could talk. I'm sure your sister will come round it's going to be tough for you all. I'm pleased your dad isn't in pain. Have big cuddles with your little girl we're here for you every step of the way. Holding your hand & thinking of you.

 

[Round2]

So sorry Nato. What a terrible, terrible thing to go through.

I'm so glad that you're sharing this with us. We're all here, anytime. Big, big hugs and smoochies to you.

 

[msarkozi]

awe Nato, I'm so sorry

 

[hoping:)]

Lucy- don't worry about returning my FB message. You have a lot more important things going on. I'm so sorry it is not an improving situation. I'm sure your sister will come around... you need each other now more than ever. It will be a hard road coming up so just put one foot in front of the other and get as much time as you can with your dad We all care deeply for you and are thinking of you during this difficult time. Lots of love to you and your family