Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[heart tree]

Hi lovely women. I've managed to read everything and catch up, but of course can't remember half of what I read to respond to. Forgive me. My mother is still here and we are having a wonderful time. My younger brother went back to San Diego on Sunday. My older brother is still here too. He's staying with a friend in San Francisco. If you were wondering why none of us looked alike it is because my older brother is adopted and my younger brother and I have different fathers. But we're all family just the same.

I want to send a collective hug to everyone having rough times right now. My heart goes out to you all. Lucy, Megg, Allie, CJ, Sarah. Anyone else?

Glad some of you are just status quo. Sometimes no news is good news.

AFM, my temps still haven't risen. I got a positive OPK a week ago!!! I'm in shock. Normally, my temps are high at this point. My cycle has never been this long. WTF is going on??? I'm taking my temps at the exact same time every morning and my mouth is closed when I sleep. Maybe my thermometer is broken? Grrr...I just want to wrap this cycle up so I can get on with my letrozole. I'm annoyed. Don't bother looking at my chart. I haven't put my temps in because they are depressing me to look at.

I'll be back on the site in full force next week, but I'll keep checking in even if I don't have time to post.

xoxo

 

[CJSG1977]

Unfortunately I cant go private Vicky. I wish I could. The midwife I was meant to have when I was last pregnant said that Ann (AKA DICK) was really nice! I am going to phone her tomorrow and tell her what happened and see what she says. I think I am going to request to see someone else. I mean... I am meant to trust a woman like this to help me get pregnant... I dont think so!

And I am in FULL FLOW but horrendously so. And I am in dreadful pain but not af crampy pain if you know what I mean?

I am technically in a new cycle now Nato so will delete that one off and hope that it corrects itself. If it doesnt I will contact FF. My temp shot down to 97.7 today so af was probably coming....unless it was an implantation dip, but I doubt it at 12DPO.

And I am very glad the softcup didnt get stuck Sugarlove!!!!

 

[LucyJ]

Hearty glad your having a good time with your family must be lovely to have them around.

I really want to see my mum but she can't come to us as she had major knee surgery about three weeks ago shes doing well but cant travel and I'm not up to travelling to them but hoping to get home in nov.

Sassy I say EAT!!

I'm doing better today in less pain but still so tired need to start doing things and venturing out of the house dont really like to go out without steve but I know I have to.

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Aww Lucy sorry about your Mum I wish you could come and see you as I know how much you need a big hig from her right now. Glad your feeling a little better, I agree trying to get out will help but it's so hard doing it alone, don't push yourself if you don't feel upto it.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Duffy]

Amanda, have you considered using a clearblue fertility moniter? I personally find it the easy way for myself lol. Crossed fingers your temp sorts it self out soon!

1977, hugs I hate periods and bleeding it takes the sunshine out of my day lol, major hugs to you.

lucyJ, maybe you could do some shopping or window shopping that always cheer me up, and more so when I have the money to buy stuff lol. After I had my miscarriage I didn't want to leave the house I just felt so down but once I did I was able to focus on more of life then what was personally happeningn to me and able to heal alot quicker. Maybe your find it the same for you (hugsss)

 

[NatoPMT]

Hi hearty, your mum sounds just lovely. One day, i hope my pretend child speaks so highly of me. Having a distant mother is one of the reasons i have waited so long to try to be one myself - its hard to know yourself when you have no role models. I'm glad you have all that love going on, its very sweet

I disobeyed orders and had a look at your chart so i could stare hard at it and scare it into behaving. Roll on the letrozole.

Ahh Luce, i remember not wanting to leave the house too, hope your mum is better soon. How long is her recovery going to be?

 

[NatoPMT]

oo talking of shopping, who wants to see what i got with the rent i should be spending on my mortgage

I got a dirty pink silk dress which looks loooverly over a black cashmere jumper...and some khaki brogue chelsea boots


behold

 

[Sparkly]

oh! gawjus nato.....for the record I am 3dpo and I also disobeyed hearty's order amd checked out her chart hehe.....I just couldn't resist it....

Duffy I use a CBFM too I think It's brilliant.....it is never wrong

Sass that's brill that you haven't pucked today I say EAT woman EAT!!!

 

[Sparkly]

Hmmm Nato I just had a thought.....I hope that dress is stretchy....it looks flowing, as it's gonna need to fit in a bump and preggie sized boobies soon

 

[NatoPMT]

oh yes, forgot to say, im in the chanting eat eat eat camp too

sassers you need nutrients and throwing up aint gonna get your babies what they need

 

[NatoPMT]

Hmmm Nato I just had a thought.....I hope that dress is stretchy....it looks flowing, as it's gonna need to fit in a bump and preggie sized boobies soon

haha no its unstretchy silk, but theres plenty of room around the middle. i did think of that as well but decided to buy stuff for now (ie the lace sweatshirt i got too) <justifcationface>

durr, says on your ticker your dpo. thicko me

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Love you purchases Nato, I love that dirty pink colour.xx

 

[MinnieMone]

Hi everyone

Just had a catch up... omg cj, that doctor sounds like such a cow, I definitely think you should try and be referred to someone else if you can though in my experience most of the doctors I've come across have that condescending, patronising tone, even worse because of my age, they all seem to think it unbelievable that I'm even conceiving. And as for the smear, I always ask for a male doctor as I think they are much more gentle, the last smear I had with a woman she forgot to release the clamp and pulled my cervix with it, the blood! and it turned out I was pregnant too.... I ached for days.

Megg - I cannot believe they can do a d&c without telling you, that's why I am so scared to ever have any kind of gynae surgery and have always refused the erpc. Good news you are going to go with the Dec cycle tho' and lovely that your family will be there to support you over xmas.

Lucy - sweetie, I know that feeling only too well, not wanting to leave the house, but you will gradually get the urge to venture out little by little, go with how you feel, don't force yourself or feel bad if you are making little steps..... it is still very early in the grieving process... give yourself lots of time.

AFM - I have been very depressed and spent all weekend in bed, unable to talk to martin, just crying really, i've wanted to be on my own. I took a digi again at just over 5 weeks and it was still 2-3 so I think that was the start of it..... we are now in a dilemma as to whether to have the first scan tomorrow (6 weeks 1 day) or next Tuesday (7 weeks), as they are the only days M has off so can come with me to Kings. If we have a scan tomorrow and there is no hb I know they will say come back and I'll have an even worse wait, whereas if there is no hb at 7 I will know that that's it (even though I'm 99% sure it's bad news already).... so that's the decision really, a part of me wants to go tomorrow but another wants a few more days not knowing..... crazy stuff really... some days I actually feel like I might be going nuts, that finally it has all caught up with me... this would be my fifth in a year, my next due date is 31st october, then 24th dec, i guess it's a lot to have had to go through in such a short space of time, but i wish i could just be stronger and stop feeling so sorry for myself.

ooooh that was a bit of a rant sorry!

I never write much then when I do, i could moan for england... sorry again!

 

[LucyJ]

Oh girls I need advice not sure if this is normal I have started bleeding and in a lot of pain all of a sudden like crampy pain and getting this sharp pain across my lower abdomen. After the erpc had a little bit of bleeding then from friday onwards just spotting I past some little clots once they were almost black in colour then just spotting but it was brown spotting which stopped yesterday today no spotting then starting bleeding about half hour ago its not heavy but have to put a st as panty liner wasnt enough. Should I be worried or is this normal this has been totally different to the erpc I had in march.

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Lucy - I was pretty similar after my first one, I lost masssive clots which really worried me, I also had a heavy to light flow on all different days, if your worried though hun please phone the hospital and hopefully they will put your mind at rest.xxxxx

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Hi everyone

Just had a catch up... omg cj, that doctor sounds like such a cow, I definitely think you should try and be referred to someone else if you can though in my experience most of the doctors I've come across have that condescending, patronising tone, even worse because of my age, they all seem to think it unbelievable that I'm even conceiving. And as for the smear, I always ask for a male doctor as I think they are much more gentle, the last smear I had with a woman she forgot to release the clamp and pulled my cervix with it, the blood! and it turned out I was pregnant too.... I ached for days.

Megg - I cannot believe they can do a d&c without telling you, that's why I am so scared to ever have any kind of gynae surgery and have always refused the erpc. Good news you are going to go with the Dec cycle tho' and lovely that your family will be there to support you over xmas.

Lucy - sweetie, I know that feeling only too well, not wanting to leave the house, but you will gradually get the urge to venture out little by little, go with how you feel, don't force yourself or feel bad if you are making little steps..... it is still very early in the grieving process... give yourself lots of time.

AFM - I have been very depressed and spent all weekend in bed, unable to talk to martin, just crying really, i've wanted to be on my own. I took a digi again at just over 5 weeks and it was still 2-3 so I think that was the start of it..... we are now in a dilemma as to whether to have the first scan tomorrow (6 weeks 1 day) or next Tuesday (7 weeks), as they are the only days M has off so can come with me to Kings. If we have a scan tomorrow and there is no hb I know they will say come back and I'll have an even worse wait, whereas if there is no hb at 7 I will know that that's it (even though I'm 99% sure it's bad news already).... so that's the decision really, a part of me wants to go tomorrow but another wants a few more days not knowing..... crazy stuff really... some days I actually feel like I might be going nuts, that finally it has all caught up with me... this would be my fifth in a year, my next due date is 31st october, then 24th dec, i guess it's a lot to have had to go through in such a short space of time, but i wish i could just be stronger and stop feeling so sorry for myself.

ooooh that was a bit of a rant sorry!

I never write much then when I do, i could moan for england... sorry again!

Hi hun,
Sorry your feeling so down, pregnancy after M/C is so hard to deal with. Personally for me I would wait and have a scan next week, I wish I had of waited but my hospital wanted to rule out eptopic so I had no choice really! I would rather live the next week in hope, praying that it's all working out than go tomorrow and not see the heartbeat and worry yourself silly for the next week thinking it's all over. Obviously it's completely upto but that just my opinion.

What if you go tomorrow and see a sac and yolk sac measruing on dates, would that give you some hope that things were working out? Then you could go back next week and hopefully see the heartbeat?xxxxx

 

[msarkozi]

Mone - to make you feel better, I've heard that the digital tests aren't that great! Most people have issues with them, and they never say what they actually are. So I wouldn't worry about it. A positive pregnancy test is a positive pregnancy test. Don't rely on the digital ones to confirm what week you are at, as it's just not going to do it. And being that it is only 6 weeks 1 day, chances are lower of you actually hearing the heartbeat during your scan. Mine was 7 weeks, 2 days when I heard the heartbeat.

Lucy - if you are worried, please go to the hospital and get checked sweetie! I would rather you do it sooner then too late, as I don't want you to pass out hun!!

 

[MinnieMone]

Lucy - I've never had an erpc, but if I were you I would monitor it tonight and if the flow increases, or you find it very painful, I would ring where I had the erpc done and ask their advice first thing in the morning. I was given a special number to ring at St Mary's during all of my medical managements and they were always very helpful. Hope you manage to get a good night's rest.

Sassy - thanks for your comments sweetie. I have been thinking the same thing, if we go tomorow and there was a fetal pole I would probably rest easier this week, but if I go at 7 weeks then it all has to be there really, and then I'll just know, I'm sure they will still ask me to come back (and I would wait a week anyway just to be sure), but just having a few more days i'm hoping to come out of this depression and just be strong enough to be able to handle it all again. I keep thinking maybe a mirable will happen and all will be well, but I can't believe it. Never felt like this with the others, I always had hope, but this time I can't muster even a ounce. I feel like I've let the bubba down really, just letting it go. awful.

 

[LucyJ]

Thanks sassy I've calmed down a bit I think it just through me as I've had no bleeding and the pain had eased then all of a sudden I was in agony and had bleeding. I'm going to see how I feel tomorrow and keep an eye on the pain and bleeding if it gets worse or I dont feel right I will go to the dr's tomorrow.

Minnie I'm sorry your having a rough time but dont give up yet are you sure of your dates?

Thanks girls I think if its dry tomorrow and I'm not in to much pain I will just walk to the corner shop to get a paper or something I'm fine when I'm with steve he's like my security but I'm teaching next week so have to start getting out but will do it bit by bit thank you for you support.

Nato loving the dress and boots.

 

[MinnieMone]

Thanks Melissa, I think I'm going to wait it out till next week, hopefully then I'll see the hb and this will all seem like a bad memory!