Sassy, it's so natural to be feeling how you are..... but everything was so perfect at your last scan, and think how amazing you will feel when you see your bubba's again, and their heartbeats.... I know you will be scared, nothing will take that away, but at the moment you have 100% reason to believe all will be ok, hold onto that, not the negative stuff that comes in to your head (though I am a fine one to take this advice, tsk!)
I too wish I could put off Monday's scan, even though I feel such a big huge fake anyway (I know I'm pregnant, but I'm not, if that makes sense, because I am so convinced that there is nothing there), but I know that I have to face whatever comes to me and when I know I can deal with it, it's the not knowing that seems to be making me into some basket case. I haven't slept for probably 3 nights, when I do I have the strangest dreams (mostly about whales) and swimming in deep water (the steroids are to blame for the wakefulness), I'm averaging about 4 hours a night and I look like shit, but I'm just getting through one minute at a time. Funny when you are dreading something it comes around so quickly, only 2 more days and I'll know. I feel like I'm going to the gallows.
Lucy - I think it will help to talk to steve how you are feeling, he probably is the same with you that he doesn't want bring it up to upset you more.... do you want to keep it in or do you think it would help to let it all out? It is still so early sweetie in the grieving process, you must do whatever you feel makes it easier and more manageable for you.
You don't sound mad at all, I understand exactly what you mean about letting your OH down and the babies, I do too, but we mustn't..... we wouldn't say that or think it to anyone else who was in our situation would we, and they don't think that. Little steps each day Lucy. Big hug.
CJ - can I just say your doctor is talking bollocks about the aspirin. Every private doctor I have seen (the miscarriage clinic at St Mary's Paddington) and Dr Shehata a leading specialist in recurrent miscarriage, both told me to take baby aspirin before and during pregnancy (up to 20 weeks), when you come off it. Every GP I've seen has told me not to take it.... they are not specialised though and just go by the fact that during pregnancy the standard line is NO medicine is better. I would continue on it, unless you have any kind of stomach or bleeding problem. Your OH is just going to have to understand, that in this situation the GP is speaking out of her arse. God it makes me mad.
Hearty - what fab news about your friend... and yes Nato needs to get back on here sharpish with an update, because I am positive she's got her BFP, and I need something to smile about today.....
Haven't been for my usual walk today, but have started to get stuff together to sell on e-bay (I used to work in fashion, so have lots of designer bits to sell), hoping it might keep my mind busy in the next few weeks, haven't done it before and quite excited! I'm going to have it as my new focus, whatever the outcome Monday.
Oh, and how the heck do you get it on at an airport? That has got me intrigued, god makes me feel very old!
Hope everyone has a lovely weekend... x
You really do have a lot going on, but it sounds like a promising future.
and post a pic....Superdrug or bust....I would love to know by lunchtime when I'm on next haha!
but hubby wouldn't DTD with me this morning before work. 
I was willing to be late for work, I was so excited. Oh, well, tonight it is.
I know its daft but I'm proud of myself and it felt good to get out and get some fresh air.
