Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[heart tree]

Allie, you just did repay the strength and inspiration. Thank you sweet woman.

Ladies, if there is one thing I don't want, it is turning this into a glum thread. Of course we can all be sad and upset for my loss, but what I really want is to celebrate all of the good news around us. So please, let's also celebrate Mel as she deserves her moment in the sun today!

We'll all get our moments. I'm not giving up yet. Just will be on a little break for a while.

 

[Megg33k]

You really are amazing, Hearty!

 

[msarkozi]

Hearty, I would sure like to focus on you today and not me if that's ok?? I'm going to have my scan tomorrow, and then I will share in the afternoon the news it brings. But right now I want you to feel comforted by all of us.

 

[heart tree]

Thanks doll. In some ways, I'm becoming an old pro at this. How sad is that. I didn't let myself get attached to the bean in fear of this happening. It really does make it a little easier to bear. We're nowhere without hope and I just can't live my life feeling hopeless. I need light and life to surround me, which is what you girls are! It is also why you won't find me on the miscarriage forum. It is too dark for me.

I just told my sister the news and we got to a point of laughing. She was the first person to make me laugh today and it felt so good. She told me she would give me her uterus as she is done with it. A uterine transplant if you will. I told her I would just let her make a baby for me as she makes such pretty ones. We had a good chuckle.

I'm so glad I have a vacation planned and will be with my family for a week. I really need my mom right now. It will be such a good escape to be with them all. God and to think I was afraid I was going to be on vacation without Tim when I ovulated this month! Guess I don't need to worry about that anymore! My brother will at least be happy that he will have his drinking buddy back. And to be honest, I plan to get drunk more than once damn it!

 

[msarkozi]

Good for you Hearty. You are truly an inspiration! You deserve to have all the fun you can on your vacation, and I hope you get drunk several times. I find it does tend to ease the pain. I am glad you don't feel hopeless, and I know you are going to get your little angel soon. Live the moment for now, and take some time for yourself.

 

[heart tree]

My last post was in response to Megg.

This one is in response to yours Mel. Thanks for your sweet words. Honestly I don't want to focus too much on me. I've always hated being the center of attention. It's why I became a therapist, so someone else could be the center! That being said, I'll take all the love and hugs you want to give me tonight and even tomorrow. But, I do also want to turn the focus back onto the positive...you, Vicky, Roonsma, all the ladies who are going to test, Meggs Ov, etc. We can do that tomorrow though.

xoxo

 

[msarkozi]

I actually started taking my BA of Psychology, but I haven't completed my degree yet. I have been debating about changing the major to Sociology instead. SO apparently I am taking Financial Accounting instead right now, lol!

Well OH just phoned me and he is stuck at work still (since 7:30am), and he doesn't think he will be home until well after midnight. There is major issues at the gas plant, so he can't make it to the scan with me tomorrow. Meanwhile, one of my friends informed me that I have to take my camera with me if I want any pictures, as they don't print them there!!!

Hearty - we will definitely focus on the positive, and we will continue to look forward to all the good things to come. Yours is coming too. Your bean is just trying to make sure it is perfect for you, because you deserve the best. When you get your sticky bean, it's going to be so proud to call you mom!

I hope you are going to be able to sleep tonight........make sure you get some rest. xoxoxo

 

[heart tree]

You are a love Mel. Thank you. I will sleep tonight. Actually, I know I'll sleep very well. At least I know my fate. I don't have to fear anything now. I will sleep deep and long and hard.

Sorry your OH isn't coming to your scan. I just know it is going to be a glorious one! Definitely take a picture. That seems like it will be awkward. They'll have a wand up inside you and you'll be telling them to stay still so you can get a good picture of the screen! LOL! That sounds like a TV show!!!

I just booked another plane ticket. Originally I was flying to Gettysburg, PA to hang with my siblings and then we were going to drive to Cape Cod the next day which is an 8-9 hour drive. Then I would fly back to California from Cape Cod. I bought 2 one way tickets and now I'm glad I did. I decided that I didn't want to be in a car for 8-9 hours while bleeding. Not only that, I'd be sharing the car with my brother. The gay one without a clue of how to be comforting in situations like this. No, no, not a good idea. So, I just booked a new one way ticket straight to Boston where my mom will pick me up and we'll drive 2 hours to Cape Cod. Much, much better. Plus, this flight is non-stop where the other one had a layover and I'm taking the red eye. In true fashion of a control freak, I LOATHE flying because I don't have control. The less take offs and landings, the better. And now, since I won't be pregnant, I can take an Ambien and knock my ass out for the whole flight. Aaahhh, there's the silver lining I was looking for!

 

[msarkozi]

LOL! glad you found the silver lining. I am sure you are going to have a great vacation and get some relaxation that you deserve.

I don't blame you for flying at all. My OH thinks us Albertan's are crazy because we talk about driving 10-11 hours all the time as if it is nothing, and that is just to get us to the middle of the province! He is from New Brunswick, and he said that a 10 hour drive for them gets them to Toronto!!

I will post a picture tomorrow if I can get a decent one. As you say, it can be quite interesting!

I am actually going to be heading to bed shortly, as I have to be up bright and early to drive an hour and a half tomorrow morning for my 9 am appointment Not sure why I booked it for so early....and I'm not allowed to eat anything (for the gall bladder scan), so I need to go find some food now so I'm not too starved in the morning.

Hope you have a good night Hearty, and know that we are all thinking about you and Tim! Sweet Dreams!

 

[Megg33k]

Ladies! Love reading the back and forth! You're all wonderful!!!

 

[msarkozi]

This is a great group of girls. We are definitely all wonderful! I know I would be lost without all of you

I'm off to find some food and then bed....I will post tomorrow afternoon when I get home.

 

[heart tree]

Ok, honey. Good luck on your scan tomorrow. Will be thinking about you. Sweet dreams.

xoxo

 

[Megg33k]

Best of luck tomorrow, Mel! I'm sure it'll be amazing! G'night!

 

[Allie84]

Hearty, I wasn't aware you were a therapist. I am contemplating getting my Master's in School Counseling and becoming a school counselor. I also dislike flying, and think it's a control thing. I have Xanax to help me fly (aka be too sleepy to care), and I think your new flight plan sounds like a good one.

Even though some times I don't understand why crappy things happen, I do tend to believe that things happen for a reason and I think the universe was looking out for you having this vacation and time with your husband booked for this rough time. You also have such inner strength that I know you will get through this....but in the meantime it's perfectly okay to be sad and angry. I know I am on your behalf! But, I'll do my best to be positive since I know it's what you want and what we all need right now. It's been a week of bad news on the TTAL forum, indeed....dispersed with some wonderful news, of course.

Good night, everyone. You truly are a wonderful group of women.

Good luck tomorrow, Mel. Thinking of you. How funny you get to take your own photo.

 

[vickyd]

Id like to say Goodmorning but this is truely a crap morning so i wont even bother....
Hearty i love you and im here for you if you need me...
Mel good luck with the scan...
Sorry girls i dont feel like like i have anything fun to contribute today.

 

[prgirl_cesca]

What sad news to wake up to. I am so sorry for your loss hearty.

Good luck today Mel xxx

 

[roonsma]

I really don't know what to say Hearty, I just can't put it into words, i'm sick for you Sweets.

You're so lovely Hearty and such a rock i can't believe this is happening to you again.

Take care Hun xxx

 

[roonsma]

This is a great group of girls. We are definitely all wonderful! I know I would be lost without all of you

I'm off to find some food and then bed....I will post tomorrow afternoon when I get home.

Good luck Hun xx

 

[pregoinnorge]

This definitely was not good news to read this morning And I am totally tongue-tied which is a total shame since hearty, you've always been so kind and eloquent with your words and comfort. You are such a strong woman and I truly admire you. I am glad you have such a wonderful husband!
Please take care of yourself and try to enjoy your trip as much as possible - at least you found your silver lining!

 

[Jaymes]

Hearty,

This definitely was not good news to read this morning And I am totally tongue-tied which is a total shame since hearty, you've always been so kind and eloquent with your words and comfort. You are such a strong woman and I truly admire you. I am glad you have such a wonderful husband!
Please take care of yourself and try to enjoy your trip as much as possible - at least you found your silver lining!

As I have said before, I am terrible with words. This says exactly how I feel, probably better than I ever could. We LOVE you sweets! You have been there for me, if I (or we, I am sure) can help at all, just say the word. We are here for you! -Jaymie