Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[LucyJ]

[Oh yeah, I wanted to congratulate Lucy on her glass of wine! I can't wait!]

It's been a while and it was good although I think if I'd had another glass I would of been on the floor

Might have to treat myself to a cocktail at the weekend!!

 

[NatoPMT]

I had my first glass of wine on sunday night it was lovely

......

[Oh yeah, I wanted to congratulate Lucy on her glass of wine! I can't wait!]

this really amused me you nutjob

 

[NatoPMT]

oh no i am the nutjob, just realised you were quoting someone, i thought you were congratulating me for something youd done.

and i havent even had any wine

 

[LucyJ]

you nutjob

It wouldnt allow me to quote I was quoting Hearty. I also can't post any pics

 

[NatoPMT]

Hero still cant eat non-pureed food without choking

there's something really quite sweet about that statement, even if it must be a pain

Allie:
Its very hard not to repeat and for some its just compulsion, but your personality have developed in reaction to your parents in a more positive way - I had compulsions and had to consciously develop away from who i was nurtured (or antinurtured) to be, which is why i was worried. I know you have anxieties which hopefully the CBT can help you consciously move away from the negative impacts of how you were parented. Nothing is set in stone, i believe you can be who you want to be and your potential is in your own hands ie you can always moving towards self actualisation

I can't believe that doctor!! what a total arse to say that. Is putting the monitor away an option?

Lucy that sounds really scary, well done for keeping your head! I asked this week at my play group if they would do a baby first aid session - have you done one?

I am a bit grumpy today, my MIL and FIL keep rubbing me up the wrong way.

The other day eloise started crying when someone else was holding her (as she keeps doing atm) and i said i think separation anxiety is starting and he replied 'As per chapter 4, page 300..."

Then this morning MIL came round and she kept saying i needed to put eloise in her room and i said i didn't want to, and she said 'what about Eloise's independence'. She's a 6 month old baby!! I eventually said, after being pushed, that things have changed and babies are allowed to be babies nowadays and we are encouraged to bf, carry them and keep them with us until they show signs of independence which might not be until shes 18 months - 2 years

If someone wants to put their baby to sleep elsewhere thats cool if its right for them, but im not ready to and if i dont want to put a 6 month old baby in another room then i should be questioned on it, surely?

grr.

 

[hoping:)]

Allie- I don’t think you will repeat your parents mistakes! I worry about this too but the good thing is that we realize it and are in the process of trying to change it. With that said no one is perfect! I’m sure we will make new parenting mistakes and our babies will be talking 20+ years from now about how they are not going to do such and such… hopefully not though!

I can’t believe the doctor said this to you! It’s a good way to freak out a new mom!

Hearty- yes, lets concentrate on 38 weeks! I’m sure you will have nothing to worry about and your LO will be a complete angel. I’m so excited to see her sweet little face in a couple of months!!!

Lucy- that is so scary! I’m glad the little guy was ok. Introducing solids is a fun stage but at the same time it comes with its own concerns like choking hazards. Penny is the same… she doesn’t really make a peep when we are out and about but when we are home she talks up a storm. Especially in the morning. Poor Tim is not a morning person but who can resist a happy baby chatting to her daddy?!

I say do it and have another tasty beverage this weekend!

Nato- sorry the in-laws are making things harder than they have to be. Why do people feel the need to tell you how to raise your child? Eloise is a perfectly happy child so you are doing something right! Separation anxiety is definitely prevalent at this stage. Penny will be playing happily but sometimes if I leave the room she will just burst into tears. She also is having a difficult time napping if we are not in the same room.


AFM- I posted Penny's avocado zombie picture in my journal as well as one of her feeding Niko treats. So my parenting dilema is that for the past week Penny has been waking in the middle of the night bawling her eyes out. Because we love our sleep we eventually bring her to bed with us. The little rascal will calm down immediately once in our bed. She will grin from ear to ear looking quite please with herself and fall asleep within a matter of seconds. I'm hoping this is just a growth spurt and she will snap out of it. Any suggestions? Tonight the plan is not to bring her into bed... I'll sleep in her nursery if I have to.

 

[NatoPMT]

Allie- I don’t think you will repeat your parents mistakes! I worry about this too but the good thing is that we realize it and are in the process of trying to change it. With that said no one is perfect! I’m sure we will make new parenting mistakes and our babies will be talking 20+ years from now about how they are not going to do such and such… hopefully not though!

I THINK THATS oops caps, right - if you have some awareness of the situation then you have the ability to stop and think, or at least reassess after youve done the parenting crime.

The new mistakes thing, i have a more extreme example of that in my friend. When we were teenagers her mum was an alcoholic and N had to do everything in the house and she missed out on stuff that parents do with their children like the park or even pony trekking and stuff, so she now has 2 grown up kids, and she told me that a few years ago, they told her she was a bit scary in that she would make them get up and go and do stuff with her at the w/end, but shed ended up almost military in this, trying to avoid her mum's mistakes.

Thats my feeling too hopesy, Eloise is happy and obviously so, if its not broken, keep yer beak out. My MIL often bangs on to me about how 'she didnt need books to bring up her children and i should do it on instinct' - a) ive only read 1 book and b) my instinct tells me Eloise is only 6 months and she needs me, and i make her happy. So instinct off. Surely instinct doesnt tell you to leave a little baby alone in another room (ie when i was told she shouldnt be sleeping in the room with me when she was 8 weeks at christmas)

Eloise also starts crying if i leave the room at the moment. I have to take her with me to the bathroom when i need a wee sometimes and she sits there in her bumboo grabbing towels and chewing them

About 2 weeks ago, Eloise was waking up like that too, it happened about 4 nights in a row and one night i had to send john into the spare room to make it safe for her to sleep with me. If its only happened a few times, i would keep doing what you are doing as she then feels secure and she knows she can rely on you. Its the exact timing that Eloise did it too, 6 months old, and she would wake up screaming and upset. If she's crying, she needs you, but if it becomes a habit, then reassess at that point. Im not sure how long = 'a habit' but its fine right now. Maybe sleeping in the nursery will be a good compromise for her, but not sure if that means she will then 'need' you there instead.

 

[hoping:)]

There sure is a fine line between over compensating and trying to not repeat your parent's mistakes. Hopefully we can all come to some sort of balance!

I'm glad you and Eloise are a few weeks ahead of us so you can help answer my questions! I'm thinking the separation anxiety is having an impact on her sleep since she settles quickly in our bed.

Do any of the US ladies have fun Mother's Day plans? Tomorrow Tim and I are going on a food tour through down town The tour includes tasty adult beverages so I am pumped about this little outing. Sunday we are having brunch with the family and hanging out with our munchkin.

 

[hoping:)]

Originally Posted by NatoPMT
Hoping, we have our next scan on the same day - next Tuesday. Lets agree to have perfect results. Then everything will be ok. Its bloody nerve wracking though innit.

Deal! My last 2 scans have closely followed your scans so I always tell myself if you have good news I will too Weird. but it makes me feel better! I just want to make it out of 1st tri with my sanity and most of all my baby!

I'm going through the Disco thread copying my posts while I was pregnant with Penny and this is what I found. It feels like ages ago! We made it out in one piece with our babies! I remember feeling weirdly calm about my ultrasounds as long as you had a good one before me.

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Dam I wrote a huge post yesterday and the crappy site crashed!

Can't remember what I wrote!x

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Think I got side tracked thinking about wine, Lucy I blame you!

Allie - sorry your monitor hasnt worked how it should, what does alistair sleep in? Have you tried it on another channel?

NATO - tell your in-laws to f off, 6 months is still so tiny to put her in her own room, you do it when you feel ready! God people love to stick their noses in huh! I only moved poppy at 9 months because D snores like a bloody train and kept waking her!!

I was a nervous wreck for the first 5 months of Poppy's life, I was convinced she or I would die but looking back it was all down to my pnd, I'm so hoping to escape it this time! I smothered poppy and I regret it!

Poppy kisses my belly now when I say kiss the baby, soooo bloody cute! Don't think she's quite ready for what's about to come out but too late now!

Any fun plans this weekend??x

 

[Round2]

The wine comments made me laugh out loud!

I'm so envious, I'd love a glass of wine, but I'd be up all night with heartburn. I swear once this kid is born and my reflux returns to normal, I'm having an entire pizza and bottle of wine to myself!

BTW when I was pregnant with Maddy, I was one of those annoying calm women in the first trimester forum....the kind that pees on the stick then goes and buys a crib. My kid was definately NOT chill. I had people tell me she cried more than any baby they had ever seen. This next kid better come out meditating!

Nato, I'm glad you stood up to your MIL's. There's no recipe for having perfect children. Do what's best for you and tell her to F' Off!!

Sassy, that's so adorable the Poppy kisses your belly. Poor kid, she has no idea that her life is going to be turned upside down in a week!

Hoping, sounds like a wonderful first mother's day! I hope you enjoy it.

We've got a busy weekend planned. We're having a birthday party tonight for my step son. Tomorrow and Sunday are filled with driving to various sporting events for both kids. Then Sunday morning we have Mother's Day brunch. Oh and I'm thinking about treating myself to a pedicure tomorrow. I can't reach my toes anymore and I figure something on my body should appear well groomed!

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Defo treat yourself to a Pedi, I plan to do that next week!

I know bless her, she's amazing with my tiny nephew though, so gentle with him and doesn't get too jealous, I fed him a bottle today though and she really cried, she wanted his milk, made me wanna cry

 

[Round2]

Defo treat yourself to a Pedi, I plan to do that next week!

I know bless her, she's amazing with my tiny nephew though, so gentle with him and doesn't get too jealous, I fed him a bottle today though and she really cried, she wanted his milk, made me wanna cry

Ya, I'm expecting some major jealousy issues too. We had friends stay with us last fall who had a baby. At the end of the weekend Maddy started crying and told me she thinks I love the baby more than her. My heart just sank!

I'm actually really worried about how she's going to handle this little one. She's been my only child for 5.5 years. I think it will be quite traumatic for her. I'm going try and find a a class that her and I can take together so we're guaranteed some quality time together.

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Its such a tricky one, I don't think any age gap is "right" or "perfect", no doubt we'll both be facing different jealousy issues in the coming months!

Have you bought her a doll? I saw it on a programme once although maybe she's a bit old for that? I think getting her involved as much as possible will really help, make her feel really special for just getting nappies or feeding baby etc? Could you possibly get time once per week to have some one on one time with her, do something really fun, then she always has that to look forward to? Have you also thought about buying a gift from baby, I bet she'd love that.x

 

[Round2]

Its such a tricky one, I don't think any age gap is "right" or "perfect", no doubt we'll both be facing different jealousy issues in the coming months!

Have you bought her a doll? I saw it on a programme once although maybe she's a bit old for that? I think getting her involved as much as possible will really help, make her feel really special for just getting nappies or feeding baby etc? Could you possibly get time once per week to have some one on one time with her, do something really fun, then she always has that to look forward to? Have you also thought about buying a gift from baby, I bet she'd love that.x

Ya, I was thinking about getting her a gift from the baby, but I think the symbolism would be lost on her. She's a bit too old to think the baby actually got her a gift! I'm definately going to plan something fun for her and I to do once a week. I'm going to miss my Maddy and Mommy days.

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Yeh that's true, how about her taking him a gift, that's make her feel good right?

I'm dreading the first few months if I'm honest, I'm gonna miss it being just me and pops.x

 

[NatoPMT]

Hoping, you picked a risky horse to back!!! Its lovely to have you at the same stage though

Sassy, those exact words almost came out of my mouth I can tell you. I have earplugs for snoring but its Eloise causing the noise

Thats so cute of Poppy, little does she know!!

Rounders and Sassy: My sister got my older niece twin dolls for the same reason.

I can understand apprehension of sorts about the situation, I've heard people manage it and have more than 1 child all the time, but i dont know how.

I like the idea of Maddy giving the baby a gift, one she's chosen herself

Hope the birthday party and weekend brunches etc go well

 

[Allie84]

World's longest reply....eaten by my computer. URGH!! alkdjfa;lkdjf;lk ajd;lkf

 

[Allie84]

I said someone along of lines of, to Nato, tell your MIL that the State of Minnesota recommends the baby sleep in your room until at least 6 months. They are quite bossy and also say not to swaddle, among other things.

I am always being told to move Alistair into his own room by people, especially when they learn he doesn't sleep very long at a time. I ignore them...we've had Disco babies that sleep in their owns rooms early on, other sleep with parents until late, and, as is always said, every baby and mom and is different,etc,etc. I'm keeping Alistair with me for now. And it's really not your MILs business where Eloise sleeps, ya know?

Sassy and Nato, you asked about the monitor. It's set to one of the most sensitive settings and it still goes off every other night. I've watched it and it doesn't catch all of Alistair's shallow breathing when he's on his tummy. I feel like I can't turn it off because I have this neurotic thought process that because I was given the monitor, I have to use it, and if I don't use it and something happened I would always blame mysel for not using the darn thing.

Hoping, I have no sleep advice myself since I don't have a very good sleeper. I'd be thrilled with Alistair waking up just once a night haha! Do you think she realizes what she's doing and does it because she wants in your bed? I always wonder about that because they say that babies under a certain age don't 'try to get their way' but it seems like Alistair makes some things a game....like he'll cry and I'll go in and give him his pacifier and he'll laugh, I'll walk away and he'll cry, I'll go back and he'll laugh, etc. But at their ages to do they know better?

Sassy and Round, good luck. I'll be coming to you for advice when baby number 2 comes along. The doll idea sounds good. Did you do that for Poppy, Sass?