Do you ever worry about being preggas and work?

[lilmissmup]

God surely thats illegal, would be here!

I am worried about feeling sick especially in the first 12 weeks before my scan and telling people.

My work are horrid about people being off sick, I am planning on using my holiday to have shorter weeks more often to rest more but if I am ill then i won't go in, I probably won't be going back after anyway so not too bothered what they think.

 

[DeeDee2009]

i too worry about the being sick thing and just not feeling up to going to work as well. maybe i'll be fine, who knows..i try not to worry about it TOO much.

my co-worker who works in my department is going off on mat leave in july so i also worry about telling my boss that i'm pregnant when she's already on mat leave..also, i've only worked there since december..we're going to start trying august though because OH is finally ready and we're not getting any younger! i figure it'll take us at least a few months anyway, so my thoughts are that my co-worker will be back to work or at least almost back to work when i would start my mat leave.

 

[Sarahkka]

You know, reading these posts, it strikes me that we women tend to be way too considerate of "what will work do without me?" and "how can I impose this pregnancy on everyone?". I had the same feelings, but I want to remind everyone that having a baby isn't a crime, no matter what your jerk boss thinks! At the end of the day, it's not only your legal right, it's your human right to reproduce and not to be punished for it financially.
I know things are different in Spain, but Calm, if I were you, I would go get your hands on whatever pregnancy rights in the workplace stuff you can find and get really familiar with your rights. At the very least, that will help you protect yourself against nasty employers. If you are able to hold your ground and slap a copy of such a thing on her desk, she might not try to mess with you. It's hard to say - I'm not in your situation, but if she's going to fire you anyway, (sorry, I mean NOT renew your contract) then at least you have the satisfaction of going out with your guns blazing? I'm a bit of a hothead about this stuff because it is a human rights issue and it wasn't that many generations ago that women didn't have any rights in the workplace at all. I think it's important that women exercise our rights and stand up for ourselves.
There I go again with my social activism! I'm not trying to tell anyone how to live their lives, just suggesting that we stop apologizing for wanting to be mothers and start expecting our employers to behave properly, not just be really grateful that they didn't fire us.

 

[calm]

You know, reading these posts, it strikes me that we women tend to be way too considerate of "what will work do without me?" and "how can I impose this pregnancy on everyone?". I had the same feelings, but I want to remind everyone that having a baby isn't a crime, no matter what your jerk boss thinks! At the end of the day, it's not only your legal right, it's your human right to reproduce and not to be punished for it financially.
I know things are different in Spain, but Calm, if I were you, I would go get your hands on whatever pregnancy rights in the workplace stuff you can find and get really familiar with your rights. At the very least, that will help you protect yourself against nasty employers. If you are able to hold your ground and slap a copy of such a thing on her desk, she might not try to mess with you. It's hard to say - I'm not in your situation, but if she's going to fire you anyway, (sorry, I mean NOT renew your contract) then at least you have the satisfaction of going out with your guns blazing? I'm a bit of a hothead about this stuff because it is a human rights issue and it wasn't that many generations ago that women didn't have any rights in the workplace at all. I think it's important that women exercise our rights and stand up for ourselves.
There I go again with my social activism! I'm not trying to tell anyone how to live their lives, just suggesting that we stop apologizing for wanting to be mothers and start expecting our employers to behave properly, not just be really grateful that they didn't fire us.

I do agree that women are too considerate, I think we want to be as professional as possible. It is awful that pregnancy should be treated in this way. We do have to fight for our rights, but is very easy to get bullied and pushed in a corner. I am very glad that I don't work at the antipregnancy school anymore. At least the boss I have now will pretend she cares LOL

 

[Sarahkka]

I do agree that women are too considerate, I think we want to be as professional as possible. It is awful that pregnancy should be treated in this way. We do have to fight for our rights, but is very easy to get bullied and pushed in a corner. I am very glad that I don't work at the antipregnancy school anymore. At least the boss I have now will pretend she cares LOL

And it is important to keep a sense of humour about it all!

 

[Blob]

I'm not going back until we've finished our family

 

[Tudor Rose]

i worry as i work in a dementia care home for the elderly and not a week goes by where i dont get attcked by one of them, today i got hit round the head it bloody hurt too, i know when i am pregnant i wont be seeing to the servre clients but its still a worry

 

[Cinnamon]

I think I have the memory of my best friends experience in my head. The woman that owns the private school where she works hates pregnancy. I actually worked at that same school, and because I got married just before the term ended she would not renew my contract because she said I would get pregnant and was "better off at home". When my friend got pregnant, she was bullied into doing many things and finally had a miscarriage. With her second pregnancy, they really mucked it up. She had 4 months pregnancy leave by right, and they blackmailed her saying she had to come in and teach numeracy and literacy or they would not renew her contract. She did so, and then on top when she went back, they wouldn't give her full time work (going back on their word).

This can't be legal, did she check it out? xxxxx

 

[pinklizzy]

I do worry about working while pregnant, I'm a veterinary nurse and it's a very physical job with lots of potential hazards-toxoplasmosis, x-rays, anaesthetic gases etc. Not sure how I'd cope with it tbh.

 

[Sarahkka]

I do worry about working while pregnant, I'm a veterinary nurse and it's a very physical job with lots of potential hazards-toxoplasmosis, x-rays, anaesthetic gases etc. Not sure how I'd cope with it tbh.

I'm pretty sure that the employer is obligated to find you safe, light duty work while pregnant. I know that's the case in Canada.

 

[calm]

I think I have the memory of my best friends experience in my head. The woman that owns the private school where she works hates pregnancy. I actually worked at that same school, and because I got married just before the term ended she would not renew my contract because she said I would get pregnant and was "better off at home". When my friend got pregnant, she was bullied into doing many things and finally had a miscarriage. With her second pregnancy, they really mucked it up. She had 4 months pregnancy leave by right, and they blackmailed her saying she had to come in and teach numeracy and literacy or they would not renew her contract. She did so, and then on top when she went back, they wouldn't give her full time work (going back on their word).

This can't be legal, did she check it out? xxxxx

I don't think so, she should have, all she did was look for another job, and got a better one with a better contract, and is now very happy at the present school. But she has an allergy to the other school and can't even bear to see the school uniform. The problem is places like that always get away with murder. A shame she didn't kick up a fuss, I suppose she just wanted to forget it.

 

[Elphaba]

I so worry about being pregnant and work! I worry about:

* Long commute (currently out of work but likely to have to commute to London when I get a new job).
* Getting MS in work time - constantly running to the loo, not focusssing or having to take time off sick.
* Miscarrying (obv not just worried in relation to work!)
* Time off for hospital appointments (esp if I'm not working near where I live)
* When would I tell them?

If I didn't tell them before the 12 wk scan:
* Would they guess if I had bad MS?
* How would I cover up for not being able to do certain things?
* Would I have to lie to get time off for appointments? (I always have a panic thing about booking time off work for any kind of appointment!)
* What would happen if I had a m/c and they didn't even know I was pg - then I'd have to tell them anyway?

LOL - I'm not even TTC yet never mind pg but I'm reeeeaaallly worrying about all this stuff.

 

[morri]

I am studying, so i only worry that if I fell pregnant during studying that i wont be able to make it, so thats another reason to put ttc after that.

 

[Sarahkka]

I so worry about being pregnant and work! I worry about:

* Long commute (currently out of work but likely to have to commute to London when I get a new job).
* Getting MS in work time - constantly running to the loo, not focusssing or having to take time off sick.
* Miscarrying (obv not just worried in relation to work!)
* Time off for hospital appointments (esp if I'm not working near where I live)
* When would I tell them?

If I didn't tell them before the 12 wk scan:
* Would they guess if I had bad MS?
* How would I cover up for not being able to do certain things?
* Would I have to lie to get time off for appointments? (I always have a panic thing about booking time off work for any kind of appointment!)
* What would happen if I had a m/c and they didn't even know I was pg - then I'd have to tell them anyway?

LOL - I'm not even TTC yet never mind pg but I'm reeeeaaallly worrying about all this stuff.

I know this is all hypothetical and I don't know what your time off arrangements are like at work, but there are several ways to deal with the absences. I would first suggest that you consider telling your boss in strict secrecy - ie, tell her that not even your parents know yet and that you are not comfortable with anyone knowing for a good while but that you trust her discretion, etc.
Work with her/him to come up with a plan to get yourself covered for a full afternoon or morning when you have your appointments. That takes the pressure off if your clinic is running late and you are supposed to be back at the office. In fact, build up some extra hours, if you're allowed to bank them and give yourself the option to take some days off during 1st tri (2nd is usually pretty smooth for most and by 3rd, everyone will know so why hide it if you're dragging?)
The reason I told my various superiors (from a couple of different gigs) is that they were then on my side. They appreciated the early heads up, so I came across as being super considerate, and everyone likes being in on a secret. Mine were all very co-operative when I told them this way. And guess what? They have to be! It's the law in most places. You cannot persecute someone for being pregnant. Human rights issue and it's a big deal to violate that.
So, just to maybe help with the worry and to show you that there are lots of viable strategies to getting yourself sorted out at work without stress.

 

[Elphaba]

Thanks Sarahkka! I think probably part of my fear is the not knowing what my work situation will be. I'm out of work at the moment (made redundant a couple of months back) so I've really no idea what company I'll be working for or who my boss will be when I'm pregnant.

I'm inclined to think you're right though - I'd probably prefer to give my line manager an early heads up to take the pressure off taking time off for appointments and sickness. Also chances are I guess I'd need to take some time off if the worse happened and the pregnancy didn't go full term.

I'm just a born worrier!

K xx

 

[Sarahkka]

Thanks Sarahkka! I think probably part of my fear is the not knowing what my work situation will be. I'm out of work at the moment (made redundant a couple of months back) so I've really no idea what company I'll be working for or who my boss will be when I'm pregnant.

I'm inclined to think you're right though - I'd probably prefer to give my line manager an early heads up to take the pressure off taking time off for appointments and sickness. Also chances are I guess I'd need to take some time off if the worse happened and the pregnancy didn't go full term.

I'm just a born worrier!

K xx

Oh, me too!
And it gets even worse when you finally do have a baby - they provide a whole new batch of things to worry about!
There's no winning.

My big thing is that we make ourselves so stressed over things that we shouldn't be feeling guilty about. If you had a miscarriage, you should take all the time you need to heal. I think at that point, if your then boss DARED say anything to you that wasn't very sensitive and sympathetic, he/she would deserve a public tongue-lashing, and I bet you'd be primed to give it out!
It's such a female thing to do - worry about things that we can't control. It takes a lot of work to stop obsessing. And having a baby is a BIG thing. There are so many unknowns to try to guess about.

 

[ryder]

Try and relax calm!

I dont know what you guys get in the UK... But I know working in canada while pregnant has benefits... I will be working as long as possible, we get 52 paid weeks of maternity/parental leave paid by the government. You need to build up your hours, and the more you work the more mat pay you will get. So there is incentive.

I work in a hospital, so I have to deal with difficult patients etc, some who needs to be restrained. But generally I will only do as much as I feel comfortable with doing,.

 

[calm]

I just read this thread in 2nd trimester.

https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-second-trimester/144231-work-sick.html