Do you think CC/CIO is wrong?

[KittyVentura]

Its true this could of been put in a better way.

I dont agree in CIO/CC because research shows that it can be detrimental to a babys health. research shows that when a baby cries for a period of time it releases a stress hormone called cortisol into the babys brain, which can affect emotional development. and has been shown to make toddlers more aggressive.

I do infact suggest any parent choosing to do CC or CIO looks up this research as its very interesting and one of the main reason i choose not to do it (as well as the fact that i dont like to hear LO cry)

and while you may not really like what lightworker said...there is some truth to it, your not a bad mum at all...but you must realize that there are no real benefits to doing CC and that there are better alternatives like PUPD.

Were the studies done in a controlled environment and based on those that had ONLY had lengthy periods of crying during CC/CIO? For most, from what I have read, CC takes 3-5 days max. Totalling normally a few hrs max crying over that whole period.

ALL children do cry. ALL children are likely to have meltdowns that the parent cannot console and may cry for long periods as a result. They might cry for long periods when ill. Is 3 hrs going to really have that big an impact?

That 3 hrs extra crying could be made up in time by your own child if your own baby came down with a bug. Would you think then, if you child cried for long periods over a period that their health was direct affected as a result of that crying?

I don't doubt that frequent periods of prolonged crying can and will cause damage to a child. But, CC/CC, when used properly is unlikely to equate to much extra crying overall, in the grand scheme of childhood, than a child who was never sleep trained. This is based on it being used correctly and then successfully teaching a child to self settle over a few days of use.

Also, there is a benefit. Once the child has been through the sleep training and can sleep better. You cannot just sweep aside the benefit of a better night's sleep for a developing baby.

xx

 

[indy and lara]

We used CC with Emma. We tried PUPD for a long time and it made no difference at all. We had a wee girl who just did not sleep and were in a vicious cycle of exhaustion/ lack of sleep. We set out time to let her cry as 3 mins and within 3 days she was STTN at 7 months. It took an hour the 1st night and less on night 2and 3. We still use 3 minutes as our 'crying' time now and Emma is 2.

We didn't choose to use CC because we were lazy or ignorant but because as BF support worker who I have a lot of respect for as a person and parent suggested it as a way to try to encourage Em to sleep. It worked for us. I have no qualms about my choice. Emma is extremely strong willed and was a pretty high needs baby. I have no doubts that we would still be dancing to her tune completely if we had not stepped in to break the cycle.

 

[sjminimac]

just a thought here...i've stated on many occasions that i'm dead against cio and even (for me anyway) cc, but i'm just about to put charlie in nursery when i return to work. When this happens, he WILL cry, he will reach hysteria/inconsolable levels because i won't be there to settle him for his nap How does this fit in with the research on the detrimental effects of cio? I have absolutely no other option, he doesn't know how to self settle as some babies just don't. Am i damaging him by putting him through this?

 

[Lightworker]

Kitty - no, when people say something in a potentially offensive way about my parenting, I don't react to it personally. With the BFing example you gave, I would ask the person just to explain the references to paedophaelia viz-a-viz the actual and legal definitions of paedophaelia and all it entails iykwim? If I decided to get offended at what that person said, then I have given him the power over me, which is not right. I hope I have made sense lol.

 

[moomin_troll]

just a thought here...i've stated on many occasions that i'm dead against cio and even (for me anyway) cc, but i'm just about to put charlie in nursery when i return to work. When this happens, he WILL cry, he will reach hysteria/inconsolable levels because i won't be there to settle him for his nap How does this fit in with the research on the detrimental effects of cio? I have absolutely no other option, he doesn't know how to self settle as some babies just don't. Am i damaging him by putting him through this?

u might find he settles better for naps at nursery or that for the first few days he wont nap because there will be too much to do.

zane first went to nursery at 8 months old and i was so scared about leaving him and him crying, he never cried and loved it and napped better for them then he did for me lol

 

[sjminimac]

just a thought here...i've stated on many occasions that i'm dead against cio and even (for me anyway) cc, but i'm just about to put charlie in nursery when i return to work. When this happens, he WILL cry, he will reach hysteria/inconsolable levels because i won't be there to settle him for his nap How does this fit in with the research on the detrimental effects of cio? I have absolutely no other option, he doesn't know how to self settle as some babies just don't. Am i damaging him by putting him through this?

u might find he settles better for naps at nursery or that for the first few days he wont nap because there will be too much to do.

zane first went to nursery at 8 months old and i was so scared about leaving him and him crying, he never cried and loved it and napped better for them then he did for me lol

Thank you

 

[Lightworker]

Back on topic- I don't agree that all babies cry. There is an article about cultures where it is unacceptable and unusual for a baby to cry, might look for the link.

 

[Lightworker]

Yeah, some nurseries will still rock and cuddle to sleep especially if Attachment Parenting is part of their etho, so perhaps your LO won't cry.

 

[KittyVentura]

I certainly don't think so SJ. You are amazing, devoted mother. Charlie is extremely lucky to have you.

I think it needs to be faced that ALL babies will cry and I doubt many will make it through childhood wiithout at least a few periods of prolonged crying, for whatever reason.

I believe any studies done were likely based overall on longer periods of crying than would be considered normal. However down the line, some of those that are anti CIO/CC have seen the outcome of these studies and interpreted them to mean that CIO/CC as sleep training will have the same outcome.

Those that CIO/CC in general. Not for sleep training, but for everyday use as a punishment etc. They might find that the study important to them

I really don't think Charlie wil be left to cry. I honestly don't. I know it's playng on your mind so very much and I wish I could put you at ease with it, but I think he'll just find another way to find comfort to dose off.

Big love xxxxxxxx

 

[Lightworker]

Brunette- yeah I totally see your point about the thread being moved here against your will, and I totally get why you feel upset. Perhaps you can ask the mods to move it back and say you were not looking for debate? X

 

[angel2010]

just a thought here...i've stated on many occasions that i'm dead against cio and even (for me anyway) cc, but i'm just about to put charlie in nursery when i return to work. When this happens, he WILL cry, he will reach hysteria/inconsolable levels because i won't be there to settle him for his nap How does this fit in with the research on the detrimental effects of cio? I have absolutely no other option, he doesn't know how to self settle as some babies just don't. Am i damaging him by putting him through this?

Charlie will be fine luv!

 

[sjminimac]

I certainly don't think so SJ. You are amazing, devoted mother. Charlie is extremely lucky to have you.

I think it needs to be faced that ALL babies will cry and I doubt many will make it through childhood wiithout at least a few periods of prolonged crying, for whatever reason.

I believe any studies done were likely based overall on longer periods of crying than would be considered normal. However down the line, some of those that are anti CIO/CC have seen the outcome of these studies and interpreted them to mean that CIO/CC as sleep training will have the same outcome.

Those that CIO/CC in general. Not for sleep training, but for everyday use as a punishment etc. They might find that the study important to them

I really don't think Charlie wil be left to cry. I honestly don't. I know it's playng on your mind so very much and I wish I could put you at ease with it, but I think he'll just find another way to find comfort to dose off.

Big love xxxxxxxx

You just made me cry! I read this whilst nursing charlie and singing hush little baby - which is just the most blissful part of my day - and it just tipped me over the edge. Bummings xxxxxx

 

[sjminimac]

thanks ladies, it has been playing on my mind almost to the extent of boring myself with it. Sorry to hijack the thread. On you go xx

 

[iceylou]

i dont use CIO/CC with nicole YET. i didnt with my son but then he was a lazy baby and sttn from a few weeks old, from 6pm (hell would break loose if i kept him up any later) to 8/8.30am. nicole has only done it a few times in 11mths.

unfortunately when my son hit the lovely age of 2, i lost my placid child and got an absolute demon instead. then we had to use CIO at night. we used it as a last resort. strangely he never did this in either grandparents houses

 

[iceylou]

SJ: they wont let him cry. my son was never left cry, he would only cry/meltdown when i came to get him.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

SJ, I've worked in nurserys, they aren't let to cry hun. They are rocked to sleep x

 

[brunette&bubs]

Back on topic- I don't agree that all babies cry. There is an article about cultures where it is unacceptable and unusual for a baby to cry, might look for the link.

?????
all babies cry....
it is their only means of communication.

 

[KittyVentura]

Back on topic- I don't agree that all babies cry. There is an article about cultures where it is unacceptable and unusual for a baby to cry, might look for the link.

?????
all babies cry....
it is their only means of communication.

I thought this too. Of course you get older babies that rarely cry, Fin is one of them. But all babies cry. If there's a cuture where suddenly all babies have stopped crying I would have to think some awful things were going on behind closed doors to make them stop trying to cry :'(

 

[TennisGal]

Ditto, Lizzie doesn't cry much now...unless she's furious! However, when she was a baby...although she wasn't a big crier...it was her way of letting me know when to feed her, rest her, stop playing, wake up etc! She had different cries that meant different things (and still does!)

 

[aliss]

Lightworker is refering to cultures where babies cry very little and 'colic' is very infrequent/unheard of. It's not uncommon in many cultures, particularly in Africa, for babies to be shushed with the breast or other rocking/swaddling techniques at any single peep. There are some cultures where babies are on the breast a good 100x a day.

That's what she means by not crying. They do cry, of course, to communicate but it is very very brief and never left to continue.