Does anyone find it hard to get excited for their pregnancy after their loss??

[ColorMeFamous]

I'm 31 weeks, almost 32 weeks, and I know that she is more than likely going to make it but I just can't help thinking something is going to go wrong. I can't even buy her anything because I'm so paranoid. I had a miscarriage in July and she's due this July. Am I the only one??

 

[usamom]

No- not at all! I'm only 16 weeks but am still terrified. My last loss was a missed m/c. It was so traumatic and I suppose I didn't realize how much until now. I haven't bought a single thing and don't plan to anytime soon. Since I have no symptoms still- it's even harder for me. I kept thinking it would get better and still hasn't.

So yes- I do understand where you are! Hugs to you!

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Thank you!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that it's almost been a year since my miscarriage and I still think about her everyday I thought this baby would help me get past my miscarriage, and in some ways it has, but not completely. I know there's a huge chance of miscarriage in any pregnancy but it still bothers me... I tried to make my pregnancy more real by naming my baby and I still am not excited. It still doesn't seem real if you know what I mean... I haven't posted it on Facebook or anything either... I don't know. I feel something is wrong with me haha!

 

[usamom]

I really do understand! No FB announcement for me either. Just told family at 15 weeks!

 

[ColorMeFamous]

I hid it from my family for 20 weeks. Even now I haven't told some of them. I hope that once I have her, all of this goes away. I don't want my lack of being able to connect with her now to affect her after she's born. I'm sure as soon as I see her I'll be ecstatic though!

 

[rayraykay]

I totally understand. I had a missed m/c in November and it made it really hard to get my hopes up for this baby.

I got myself a sonoline B fetal Doppler which has helped calm my nerves quite a bit. I listen to the baby's heartbeat pumping away whenever I'm nervous or full of doubt. That has really helped. I'm almost to 12 weeks, and while I'm super nervous to announce it to anyone, I think it will help make it more real and help me to get excited since I know my family and friends will be stoked.

I really wish you both all the best & healthy happy babies! It will happen!

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Thank you!! Yes, maybe announcing will make it real I am announcing in June so I hope people are supportive. I'm not in the ideal situation but I have a lot of support and love around me

 

[nabo86]

i know how you feel - i am nearly 38 weeks pregnant after a mmc last may

we went for a walk around the hospital yesterday and i still couldn't help feeling everything could still go wrong and it may have been a pointless visit...

the labour ward is ward 8 and the postnatal ward is ward 10 - problem is this meant I had to walk past ward 9, the ward where I had to go to lose my last baby - i nearly burst into tears and hung back from the other couples so they wouldn't see me being upset

i want to believe that in less than a month i will be holding my little girl and she will be ok!

 

[JayDee]

My baby died because of a labour complication so I won't be happy until I am carrying a baby out of the hospital...
Completely understand not being excited yet, I haven't told anyone other than dh obviously and I'm almost 12 weeks, somehow it feels like there isn't really anything to tell yet if that makes sense

 

[AwesomeSauce]

I am having a hard time too. I have told some people, and they seem excited and filled with hope. I told them that they have to carry hope for me because after three consecutive miscarriages I can't carry it for myself.

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Thank you for sharing your stories ladies!! I hope we all have healthy little babies soon!! I'm definitely glad I'm not the only one. I felt like such a bad mom for not being able to connect with my baby girl. I know as soon as she is born and healthy that I will be able to bond and love her unconditionally but it's scary waiting for that moment to arrive. I wish I could see her and see that she was doing well. Her kicks are reassuring but I hate not knowing.

 

[xjesx]

I suffered a loss at 8 weeks.

I am currently in my 7th week....let's just say every possible pregnancy symptom/sign I am welcoming with arms wide open.

A week ago I had wiped and notice faint brown which i assume to be dried blood. Well don't I freakout. Just have a total breakdown. My hubby tried to be supportive and said "that's normal hun." I responded with "ya it was really normal last time." He got so mad and walked away from me while I lying on the bathroom floor crying. I wanted to punch him. At that moment I knew he too was still having trouble dealing with the January loss and not knowing how to comfort me.

I am just "negative". I am guarded and not wanting to be too hopeful because I can't imagine what the disappointment would be like if I go through it again.

 

[MamaTex]

I am excited but the worry is still in the back of my mind. I have been more open about what is going on and have long since announced, but the thought is still in my head that the baby might not make it for some obscure reason. I have bought a few things and am in the process of decorating the nursery, but it seems odd to be doing this. I sometimes get to thinking I will wake up and things will be over, just like that. Just take comfort in how far you have come. Chances are things will be fine.

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Thank you for sharing ladies... Everyone seems to deal with grief differently. It's hard when the person you want to be there for you is not grieving the same... I have the same issue I just want to cry and talk about it and listen to my dad miscarriage music and he just wants to avoid it.

I am definitely grateful she is almost here. One month and I'm full term. I still can't seem to connect with her but I'm sure once she is here I will feel better about it. I announce my pregnancy this week so I hope that maybe it will help me accept the situation better. Get a better grasp on it...

 

[dairymomma]

I can tell you it's okay to feel that way. I don't feel happy until I'm holding my baby in my arms and can count those fingers and toes, hear them cry, and snuggle them close. In five years, I have had two kids and six miscarriages. Finding out I'm pregnant isn't a source of joy for me and hasn't been since my first miscarriage because odds are (for me anyway) I'll miscarry before 10 weeks. I don't even think of baby names until after the baby is born! So, be comforted and know it's okay to feel almost apathetic about this. My doctor said its just one way the human heart insulates itself from another heartbreak to not feel excited about being pregnant after a loss.

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Yes, it definitely makes a lot of sense. I took a big step today and announced my pregnancy. Surprisingly everyone is absolutely ecstatic!! I'm super happy they are I hope she gets here safe!! These next 52 days or whatever are going to kill me. I just want to know she's going to be okay. I know it was probably a fluke that I lost my baby but it still weighs heavily on my mind

 

[Wyldemomma]

I think you all are completely normal. I had a MMC 3/12 and two consecutive MC at the beginning of this year. I am now preggo again and don't really feel joy or happiness, it's more of an indifference towards everything. I have told some close family and friends who have been my support system through the last 16 months and I let them carry the excitement and joy.

I'm so glad there are other women out there who are willing to admit they are not over the mon about being pregnant, even though its all they really want in the world.

 

[ColorMeFamous]

I'm glad I'm not the only one! I felt like such a bad mom. Even with my first, I didn't let myself get emotionally connected. I just couldn't. And that was before the miscarriage. Now I love her more than anything in the world! I feel so bad because all these moms are so in love with their little babies and feel so connected with every kick that they have and I just can't do that. I wish I could. I wish these last 8 months were bonding time with my baby... I just seem to be the type of person who needs to actually interact in order to build a relationship... Still feel so guilty though. Wish I felt like they do in the movies lol.

 

[Wyldemomma]

My best friends favorite phrase is "it's not like the movies dear". I think being reserved and cautious are typical symptoms. I'm at a complete loss as to
How I am going to handle the next 7 months. You pining foot infrint of the other and try To keep breathing. I think once you hold your baby in your arms that immediate bond/love will make up for the last few months. Don't feel guilty, your heart is just protecting itself.

 

[cb1]

I can really relate to this. I can't even let myself imagine this going full term at the moment (I'm 5 weeks), I don't feel excited at all and the only planning I'm doing is mentally composing the email to my manager at the point it all goes wrong..

One thing I have found this time around is that no one else is excited for this pregnancy either. My husband has barely acknowledged it which I guess is his way of dealing with the past, my sister is trying to put it out of her mind and even suggested we do a charity bungee jump yesterday as she'd forgotten! And the only other person I've told changed the subject at the point she realised what I was telling her.

I remember how happy I was at this point with my son, and really wish I could have an enjoyable carefree pregnancy!! If I make it to 2nd tri hopefully I'll relax more then xx