Does anyone find it hard to get excited for their pregnancy after their loss??

[dairymomma]

Looks like yesterday was just the warm-up round. The cramping and spotting stayed the same all day and finally stopped just before I went to bed last night. Nothing this morning when I got up but lunchtime I wiped brown cm again. Feeling twinge-y down below today but not really achey or crampy so I think it's things just *starting* to shift. But the dr called (FINALLY!!) and I'm scheduled for tomorrow AM bright and early. So glad DH is going to bring me to the hospital. We weren't sure he'd be able to take time off from work but he'll be there to hold my hand. Whew...

And I'm actually starting to feel happy again. The world feels all bright and new for some reason. I feel in my heart that this baby was destined for Heaven from the moment of conception and how can I be sad about that? I've never felt this way after a m/c and it's a little unnerving in a way but I guess I shouldn't complain. I am going to make an appt with a therapist just to talk. I want to make sure I'm not 'hiding' my true feelings as I've dealt with post partum depression in the last year and I really don't want to do that again.

 

[dairymomma]

Update-the D&C went fine and things are looking up. The 'official' diagnosis for this mc was a clot. When my hematoma started healing, it formed a blood clot which, unfortunately for my baby, was in the wrong spot. It interfered with the blood flow to the placenta (probably pulled the placenta away from the uterine wall a bit too much and the placenta didn't have enough time to reattach before it was needed to support the pregnancy) and that's what ultimately caused the mmc. Glad we were able to figure out what happened here but I'm still getting some more testing done. This was the 3rd pregnancy I've had with a hematoma and I don't have a clotting disorder so we are going to try and track down why I keep getting bleeds.

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Awe!! I'm so sorry!! That is very odd that you would get these clots and not have a clotting disorder! It will be very interesting to find out why all this is. I'm so glad that they were able to find out why you miscarried. It must have provided you some sort of closure.

As for me, I ended up having a beautiful little girl on the anniversary of my miscarriage, July 18! She was born 6 lbs 14 oz and was 21 inches long! The cord was around her neck but she made it through! I hope this gives you ladies some hope! I definitely look at her and think of her as my little Nova. I am so blessed to have my miracle baby in my life.

 

[nabo86]

hugs to you dairymomma - i'm glad they are starting to give you some answers xx

congratulations colormefamous - your daughter is beautiful xx

 

[dairymomma]

Ooo, Color, she's simply adorable! Congratulations! I'm doing a happy dance for you. I'm so glad your delivery went well and she's finally here. Feels so much better doesn't it?

As for my clots, I have a theory that the bleeds form because my body 'thinks' it needs to miscarry so the placenta starts detaching from the uterine wall. But then the progesterone I'm taking stops the process before it can get too far so the bleed starts healing and the placenta reattaches. Only this last time, the bleed formed later in my pregnancy and the placenta couldn't reattach in time. Because of this, I'm going to ask the Dr. about switching to a different form of progesterone or a higher dosage with my next pregnancy to see if that helps with these bleeds. We'll see what the dr says about my theory and what he finds when he does the scope.

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Thank you very much ladies!

Keep us updated!! That sounds very possible! I really hope they find some way for you to carry a beautiful bundle of joy to term!