Does anyone find it hard to get excited for their pregnancy after their loss??

[Maxparedesmom]

Every scan is scary to me as we'll as that is how I lost my max at 19 weeks . 2 days before he was fine went to a routine app and his heart wasn't beating anymore . So I don't think i will ever be ok getting scans .. I also was depressed and went to therapy after.it helped a little but mostly I think it's a battle with ur self ..even his birth was horrible I had bad doctors that didn't care and did horrible things . That's one reason I needed help.

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Awe I'm so sorry I'm glad your pregnancy is going well now!! I hope you have a healthy little one doctors are assholes sometimes. I guess it just becomes so routine that they begin to become normalized to it. I wish you had a better experience. Thanks for sharing your story I'm sure max is a beautiful little angel

So my one year anniversary of the passing of baby Nova is coming up! What do you guys do for your little ones "birthdays?"

 

[Maxparedesmom]

Thanks ... I haven't had his one year but I'm thinking of making him a cake that's what anyone would do for his first bday and I guess it just seems right .. U know?

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Oh yes!! That would make sense!! I sort of was thinking I might release a floating lantern for her and write her a little message. I think making cupcakes or a cake might be nice too!!

 

[dairymomma]

I haven't done anything because I've had so many but when we finish landscaping our yard, I'm going to plant a little 'hidden' garden with stepping stone and a special rememberance tree.

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Awe!! That's beautiful!!

 

[Wyldemomma]

That's so great ladies! We didn't do anything because I got a BFP that morning (it didn't work out but that's ok). I had thought about planting a flower or something as well, it's do beautiful!

 

[hinkybinky]

I've just read through and can completely relate to the feelings you all describe. I found out yesterday that I'm expecting again, this will be the 5th time since DH was born. Two didn't last long at all, and two were mmc, babies measuring 8-9 weeks lost at 10 and 11.5 weeks.

I have spent the entire afternoon in tears. I am not sure if I am grieving the babies that are gone, or if I am grieving this loss in advance (I genuinely do not feel much hope at all), or grieving the loss of my ability to be joyful or excited about something that should be such a happy time. It is a loss of innocence that I truly would not wish upon anybody.

I have been booked in for a scan at the EPU next Thur; I will only be 4.5 weeks so unlikely they'll see anything but it seems I cannot be referred to my specialist (who I'm currently seeing under the guise of recurrent micarriage clinic) at the ante-natal clinic until I've had a scan. Daft sysem and bound just to cause me more stress and worry. The sonographer is lovely but I have had my heart broken in that scanning room more times than I care to remember.

I do keep trying to just take one day at a time and be happy to be pregnant today. But there's no joy in being pregnant without a happy ending.

It is good to find others with similar stories and I hope that we can somehow draw some strength and comfort from each other xxx

 

[Wyldemomma]

Hinkybinky- we are all here for you! I have found that sharing my story with other women who have gone through a similar experience extremely helpful. I hope the scan goes well and will help you be able to breathe a little easier.

 

[hinkybinky]

Hinkybinky- we are all here for you! I have found that sharing my story with other women who have gone through a similar experience extremely helpful. I hope the scan goes well and will help you be able to breathe a little easier.

Thank you! I find a good cry sometimes helps. And, as you say, just getting it all out and knowing someone is listening, so thanks xxx

OH has come home and been lovely, and my DS is back from his grandparents' so feel a bit more normal now!

Guess we just have to accept it will never feel like a normal pregnancy for us. I have been trying to count my blessings though. For now I have my little full-stop sized bundle of joy

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Yes! We are all here for you!! I can't wait to hear about your scan!! I really hope you get a sticky baby!! Thank you for sharing your story. It was very touching. It is such a relief to find other mothers that feel the same way!!

As for me, I still haven't gained weight for 7 weeks. Movements have decreased and she is measuring 2 weeks behind what she normally was. I hope little Ambriella Lové is okay... Wish me luck! I go in next week to find out...

 

[dairymomma]

Hinky, so sorry for your losses but you are def not alone here. Even though I have two kids and am currently 12 weeks into this pg, having had 6 mc before and since the births of my children has def colored my view towards pregnancy. I will probably never be happy to see that bfp and I don't every stop expecting to see blood when I go to the bathroom. I've always mc between 6 and 9+4 so when I woke up on 9+5 this time, I breathed a huge sigh of relief...until I went to the bathroom and wiped pink. It was like, "Oops, I jinxed it..." Luckily everything has been going okay otherwise and the spotting is just from a small uterine bleed that should go away soon but it's still nerve-wracking to see that.

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Oh no doubt!! I hope it goes away soon!! I totally take every "bad" symptom and just completely overreact over everything too. It's hard not too. I'm glad everything is okay with baby though!!

 

[nabo86]

Hi

I don't want to upset anyone, I want people to be filled with hope but I have come back to let you all know my little rainbow girl was born last Tuesday by C-Section and she is wonderful

I worried every second of every day from the day I got my BFP, right up until theatre until I heard her cry and she was in my arms

I wish you all the very best in your pregnancies whatever stage you are at and hope all your beautiful babies will be born without any complications

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Oh wow congrats!! Definitely lots of hope so glad your baby was born nice and healthy!'

 

[hinkybinky]

Hi

I don't want to upset anyone, I want people to be filled with hope but I have come back to let you all know my little rainbow girl was born last Tuesday by C-Section and she is wonderful

I worried every second of every day from the day I got my BFP, right up until theatre until I heard her cry and she was in my arms

I wish you all the very best in your pregnancies whatever stage you are at and hope all your beautiful babies will be born without any complications

Congratulations xxx

 

[Wyldemomma]

How is everybody doing this morning?

 

[hinkybinky]

Hi Wyledemomma, am just counting the days until my repeat scan - they didn't see much on Thursday except two 'sac like structures' (4w4d) so I have to go back again this Thur and hopefully they will see a bit more. I am trying to hope for the best but it's hard It was all very hush-hush, wouldn't show me the screen, talking in code. They took my hcg and progesterone levels and seemed happy with those: 2800 and 28, so that's something to hold onto. Week is going to go so slow.

How are you?

 

[buzzy]

You are SO not alone!

I had a healthy baby in 2009 and then two miscarriages. I was told with this pregnancy that I had miscarried at 7 weeks and then found out at 11 weeks that I was still pregnant.
It was a very traumatising time and lots of people in my entourage kept on getting annoyed with me for not being happy, but they didn't understand that I had grieved the loss of my baby only to have to reaccept its existence.

I'm now 24 weeks and started preterm labour at 22 weeks, so am very very worried.

I think that we always worry when pregnant - even when things are going well.

Big hugs xx

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Pregnancy-wise I think things are going well?? She's ridiculous active but I also hear that happens before a still birth so once again I'm on high alert!! Otherwise, things are getting very bad. I don't know if you guys know but there are terrible flash floods in Alberta, Canada right now everything is a complete disaster... They have started to pull bodies from the water now... It's absolutely frightening.

I can't wait to hear how the ultrasound goes!! I hope all is well!! Are they suspecting twins??

Oh wow!! That is so scary!! I hope your baby stays in there a while longer!! Definitely not done cooking yet! I believe they can deliver babies at 23 weeks now but obviously we want baby as developed as much as possible!!