Done having kids, but quite sad about it. Anyone else?

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by Cleo, Jun 13, 2013.

  1. Cleo

    Cleo Happy mom to F & L!

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    Just wondering if anyone else feels the same way? We have 2 kids and have always planned on having 2 kids. When I was pregnant with L I would happily announce that we weren't having any more and our family was complete. And for a while I did actually feel that way, but lately the thought of being done makes me so sad. I see little babies and I don't just think I want another, I KNOW I do, and I feel a little empty knowing it's not going to happen.

    Honestly, when I sit and weigh the pros and cons of having more, the cons side completely outweighs the pros, so I am capable of being logical about the whole thing, but it's just this feeling I have. It just makes me sad:(

    I imagine I would still feel this way even if I did have more and I was done!
     
  2. sun

    sun Mum of 3

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    I can't have more due to a medical issue, and I'm totally sad about it. OH also doesn't want more - so even if I was ok, he wouldn't be on board. I always wanted 3 though, so I think I'll always feel like one kiddo is missing.

    Though when we were LTTC #1 I would have given anything for just the one, so I also feel like I should just be happy with the 2 I have. I feel like time is going too fast though, and I'm a little sad with every stage my daughter hits because all her amazing "firsts" are my "lasts". sniff!
     
  3. leelee

    leelee Mammy to 2

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    I feel the exact same. I had a very stressful 2nd pregnancy and wish I could have pregnancy that didn't involve moving or looking for a job whilst on maternity leave ( happened during both pregnancies). I would love to experience it again but have always said I wanted two. It confuses me at times.
     
  4. _Vicky_

    _Vicky_ Mum to twins

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    Ohh that must be horrid!! We have twins and I am 40 but aside from that I am done. I have no wish to add any more children to
    Our family and it's a relief that we can now start doing
    Kid stuff instead of baby stuff. I don't know the point to my post as feelings are feelings and no amount of logical analysis will
    Change them - big hugs xxx
     
  5. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    I really do feel for you. I know I'm currently pregnant, but that is definitely it for us and everyday is kind of bittersweet. I sometimes think that maybe we could go for a 4th even, but as I sit here I'm battling excruciating toothache and pregnancy insomnia and I can't even think about it. I just want this baby out and my body back asap! I do think it's an in-built thing. We're essentially on this planet to procreate so therefore we're bound to get broody. Personally as well it doesn't help that everyone keeps telling us how we can't have 3, you need to have children in even numbers, we'll have another one as we make such lovely babies, oh, and my personal favourite 'of course you'll have another, you said you were stopping at 2'. While this is true, we were never 100% on the idea. This time it's pretty definite - and even though I'm considering quite permanent forms of contraception, I still wonder and I know I'll always be a little bit sad that the baby-making stage is over. My plan is to make plans for the future, and to make that more exciting......and if all that fails.....get a puppy! lol :haha:
     
  6. pinklightbulb

    pinklightbulb Single Mummy

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    I'm apparently WTT but in my heart I know we're done... and I'm sad :(
     
  7. I think a PP said it well... it's human nature to want to procreate so even if you're satisfied with your family and know that you've taken on all that you can, there might be a small part of you that yearns for more.

    Some women don't have that. I'm only having a second child for my OH's sake, really. I felt very happy with our previous family of 3 and would have been content to keep it that way. I'm excited to know that this is our last baby and after that, I can get my tummy tuck and have my body back. However, my first pregnancy/first year with DS was extremely stressful due to anxiety and PND. This one has been much calmer and I'm wondering if perhaps in a year or two, I'll find myself wanting another. I doubt it, but there's always that possibility. (OH would just LOVE that...)
     
  8. confused87com

    confused87com Well-Known Member

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    me!! im sad, so sad in fact i havent stopped telling everyone i want a third. Its a very real feeling. we always said 2 and i am extremely lucky to have my 2 beautiful children but i dont feel quite a complete family yet, nuts hey! hubby wanted 'the snip' but ive stopped him, maybe im not ready to say 'never'. im only 26 so theoretically we could have a larger gap down the line. However now dh mentions ' if we have another one'....so maybe he wants one too, we arte both one of three children, it just seems right.
    Oh and considering my cycles have returned and i am not on birth control he is being far from 'careful' even though he knows it, so maybe he does want another! i did warn him so its his own fault if we end up with another :)
     
  9. confused87com

    confused87com Well-Known Member

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    My plan is to make plans for the future, and to make that more exciting......and if all that fails.....get a puppy! lol


    haha makes me laugh, i got the puppy first wen i got broody and couldnt have a baby yet, mind you i got four cats first and then the puppy when they werent working lol. i think dh agreed to a baby so he wouldnt be overun with animals!
     
  10. hattiehippo

    hattiehippo Well-Known Member

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    We're only haing the one due to my age and health issues when I was pregnant. I love the fact that he is a little boy now and don't miss having a baby but I do have days when I feel sad that it's all done and there won't be anymore babies.

    Then I remember that he didn't STTN till 2 1/2 or he's having a stroppy day and I'm happy to just have the 1!
     
  11. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    Careful I'm 32 weeks pregnant after this approach lol :blush::haha: - and baby is apparently my 'fault' (jokingly of course) as apparently according to date it was the time that I jumped him! lol :blush:
     
  12. kellis

    kellis mum of 2

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    I feel like this too, we have a boy and a girl which is perfect, i'm 41 now, had 2 very traumatic births and have health issues in addition to this so logic tells me I have to stop now but I feel very sad about it. I would love to have another one but it's too big a risk to my health and the baby's but it doesn't stop me feeling broody :cry:
     
  13. 1948LC

    1948LC Mum of 4 Girls Inc Twins

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    I felt exactly the same as you and just couldn't let the feelings go. When my youngest was nearly 6 we decided to try for a third (I did have to talk oh round) and we had twins, lol! They are great and I'm so glad I had a 3rd/4th!x
     
  14. minties

    minties Complete

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    I'll always want more babies. :-( not gonna happen. OH wasn't ever that keen on having any kids, he only half-heartedly TTC and admits he thought we wouldn't have any at all (it took 8 years to have Thomas).

    Then when I said I wanted a second, he figured that'd take another 8 years but we got pregnant the first time we tried! He loves the kids same as I do but he is DONE.
     
  15. shorman

    shorman Mum to 2 girl and babyboy

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    Yup me and I get so sad aswell but after three csections my body has had enough and we always say now we have are little boy he has completed us but I get soooo broody and say I am to you g to say no I am only 24 and maybe another when I am 30 but me and husband want to enjoy the ones we have now and there all very close so cons outweigh pro's of having another.
     
  16. confused87com

    confused87com Well-Known Member

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    haha yeah aimeelou, but i actually think he wouldnt really 'blame' me lol. i always tell him to take precautions because i could get pregnant etc etc.....i think his main reason is that we are in a 2 bed house! damn house and house prices. We would actually be financially better off having the third one and then moving but obviously its space, even thought they only go in their room to sleep!
     
  17. Odd Socks

    Odd Socks Mummy to 2 girls.

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    i feel sad, even though i don't want another child.

    i see my two together & they're so wonderful! i like how we're done with babyhood & that we're looking forward to lots of fun things as a family with children rather than a family with babies. i'm looking forward to maybe one day having a full night's sleep again when lauren decides to sleep through & now i'm back at work, it's nice having money & being able to treat ourselves a little once more.

    but... i loved being pregnant & i loved having little squishy newborns. i'm sad i won't have that again, i'm just ok with not having more children!

    xx
     
  18. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    I know this isn't in the spirit of the thread (sorry everyone) but don't let space put you off. We're in the world's smallest 2-bed semi. We don't plan on moving for at least another 12 months. While children are small, their space needs are minimal. Obviously, we will eventually have to move, but for the time being we're happy in our rabbit hutch! lol :haha:
     
  19. confused87com

    confused87com Well-Known Member

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    i know, its so mad, if i had another one we could theoretically save quicker to move because i get more on 'smp' then i do working and paying childcare, obviously this would not sway a decision lol, hubby doesnt want our kids to share, he had a 5 year gap with his bro and they didnt get on, my sis and i shared and were close, until i was about 11. its just not fair, why oh why do i really not feel like we are done at 2 children.
     
  20. Sprat

    Sprat mum to 2 boys

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    I feel the same. I really really want a 3rd. As soon as my 2nd was born i remembered how amazing newborns are and i didn't want it to be the last time. Dh is adamant this is it - in fact as soon a I told him i was pregnant with our 2nd he said "please can this be it?!" and we can't really afford another one either. BUT as pp have said he is not being as careful as he should/could be which i have also pointed out to him!
     

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