Egg collection and losing hope.....

[Jaybo]

Whooohoooo Pinkie

Congratulations! You must be over the moon. I just knew this would be your cycle. I've been stalking bnb all morning for your update lol

Sending lots of sticky baby dust your way.

 

[Pinkie3]

Thanks hun, over the moon but a little dazed from it all. It doesn't feel real.

I have to call the clinic tomorrow with my results and then will find out what I do from here? I am pretty sure they don't do blood tests and I just POAS. I have a lot of cheapies so sure I will be doing one every morning from now on.

I am still cramping, feels just like AF is coming and I started spotting a little again today. I am trying not to think too much into it but I will mention it when I call the clinic tomorrow.

I hope your first injection has gone well today and the AF shows up on time.

 

[Jaybo]

I can imagine it's going to take a while to sink in Pinkie! Just take each day as it comes.

I hope all goes well with the clinic, if they aren't doing blood test then I guess they will book you in for a scan? Yes mention the spotting, but try not to worry - after three years reading ttc forums I can see it's completely normal for so many women! Although I hope it stops soon for peace of mind. Let me know how you get on.

AFM - first injection has been ticked off the list! So glad to be starting again. I really hope this is a lucky thread and all three of us get our take home babies.

I've started a journal for this cycle so just to get my thoughts down. Feel free to stalk as I ramble along to myself - link's in my signature!

xx

 

[Tass]

Oh my goodness Pinkie that is so amazing!!!

Congratulations hun, that fantastic news!!! I'm so pleased for you

If your clinic works the same as mine then I didn't have to have a blood test, they booked me in for a scan at 8 weeks, you can technically see if it's one or two then (or more) then as well, so exciting!

Cramping is normal, it scared me a bit too but I had it quite a lot, certainly for the first few weeks, the clinic told me it was just the baby snuggling in & getting comfy so they're a good sign.

Jaybo, so glad your new journey has begun & the injection went well, I have everything crossed for you. One tip that I was given, not sure if it worked or if coincidence, but to drink plenty. It lowers the chances of OHSS & apparently embryos are happier in a well hydrated place. Like I said not sure how true that is but can't hurt anyway!

Ooooo this is so exciting, would be amazing for all of us to have lovely success stories, so pleased for you both xxxxx

 

[Pinkie3]

Thanks Tass.

Yes the cramping keeps scaring me a bit I feel like the AF is going to come. I am still spotting but its only light and brown (sorry TMI) so trying not to worry. My nurse said its very common in early pregnancy but if I am worried to call them. I am just trying to take it easy. I did test again this morning and it was still positive so that is giving me peace of mind.

I am booked in for an internal scan on 13th July which will be a 7 week scan. I've been to collect more progesterone pessaries, steroids and clexane injections and I continue to take them, if all looks ok at the scan I will get some more and start weaning off and then I get transferred to my GP. Gosh, I hope this little bean is going to stick around. Its all a bit surreal at the moment.

Yey for the first injection Jaybo, I am pleased to hear that you are glad about starting again. I agree with Tass about drinking plenty, I have no idea if this is a coincidence with me but I have been drinking so much but that's because I have been ridiculously thirsty. I am definitely coming over to check out your journal, I only discovered these recently. I will be cheering on your BFP, I can't wait!!

 

[Tass]

Yes I remember feeling that AF was going to show any minute! I was always told that spotting was fine, as long as its not bright red new blood then not to worry.

Take it easy now chick & look after yourself. Not long to go for your scan, very exciting!!

Jaybo, hope you're feeling OK?xx

 

[Jaybo]

Morning ladies,

Pinkie that's fantastic news you're still getting BFPs and you're booked in for a scan. Hope the next couple of weeks fly by for you. Do you have any other symptoms, or is it still too early? Just curious for future symptom spotting!

Hi Tass I hope all is going well. Thanks for the tips. I'm drinking gallons of water this time, and cut out all the dehydrating type drinks (caffeine/alcohol etc). It feels a bit easier now it's warmer here. I found it a bit of a struggle in Jan! My RE recommended drink lots of water a two large glasses of milk a day, so I need the loo every 5 mins!

Hope you both have a good week

 

[Pinkie3]

No other symptons unfortunately Jaybo. Apart from feeling really thirsty and cramping like mad since day one that's been it. Oh and apart from the spotting I had 9dpt. I literally have nothing, not even a twinge in my boobs. I feel great, better than I have done for ages. It's a little worrying to be honest I just want to feel a little sick or something? My spotting got a little heavier last night and still happening today, its not helping my stress levels!! I called and spoke with a nurse today, she didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, its a good sign or a bad sign we have to let nature take its course. She spoke with my doctor and he has advised me to stop taking my clexane injections. I am not taking them for any clinical reason it was to try anything to help with implantation but apparently they can cause bleeding so I am hoping by tomorrow this would have stopped. I done another test this morning and its still positive so that is keeping me a little sane, although there is a visible line its not as punchy as I would hope, so I am hoping it starts to get darker (I have been using different tests which I am sure doesn't help). If by next week I am still spotting and still getting positives they are going to bring me in a week early for a scan. No idea what my body is doing??

How are you getting on? Are your periods pretty regular, so you have an idea of when you're due and can start stimming?

 

[Jaybo]

I think it's really normal not to have any symptoms this early on Pinkie, so try not to worry. That was the reason I was asking actually as I remember in the early days when we started TTC lots of the ladies on the other threads would talk about feeling nauseous 1DPO yet it seems to be the case that those type of symptoms don't kick in until much later for most people.

I have heard about the claxane injections causing spotting. I hope it stops soon - hang in there

I'm doing ok thanks. Feeling a bit more positive about everything and just plodding on with the injections. AF is usually really regular at 30 days but has been off since our ICSI in Jan. Last month I was a week late, which I really hope doesn't happen during this cycle. Otherwise AF should come around the 1st and then if everything is all quiet at my baseline scan I'll start stimming. My biggest worry is that I'll respond even worse to the new stimming drug that I'm on, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

 

[Jaybo]

Tass hope you're doing ok lovely! Not long left at all now. Have you finished up working yet?

 

[Pinkie3]

I think we can drive ourselves crazy with all the symptom spotting. I also think everyone is different, lots of women say 'they just knew' I was hopeful but I had no idea.

The spotting is on and off, I don't think these progesterone pessaries are helping because they leak so these mixed with my spotting makes it feel heavier. So, I done a clearblue digital test this morning and it came up with the word 'pregnant' so that was reassuring after some of the faint positives. Gosh does the worrying ever stop?

Responding to the stims was my biggest fear, its so hard but please remember you only need one. I am a prime example of that. How long did you have to stim for last time?

 

[Jaybo]

Hi Pinkie,

How are you? I hope the spotting has lessened a bit. That's great that you got a BFP on a digi! you must have been so excited to see that elusive word come up! But no, I don't think the worrying will stop until you have you're baby in your arms...let the nine month wait begin!

I know I won't get many eggs all I want is at least one good one. This thread is a reminder that you don't need many eggs to make a baby!

Last time I stimmed for 10 days. But it's the same old NHS story where I felt it didn't matter how I was responding, they didn't change my medication levels and seemed set on triggering at day 10 regardless. I hope a more flexible approach will work better for me.

 

[Tass]

Hi Ladies,

How you both doing? Hope you both had a good weekend.

Pinkie, I really wouldn't worry about not feeling any symptoms yet, everyone is different & responds to pregnancy in a different way, as long as you're still seeing pregnant that's all that matters. I'm sure something will kick in over the next few weeks, take care & enjoy every minute.

Pinkie, glad you're feeling more positive, my periods were the same with all the medication & I actually had a cycle during injections. They had to give me different additional medication to bring on the extra bleed that they needed & also an extra week of injections to make up for up. I'm not surprised though, nothing is ever straightforward with me

I'm having to slow right down with work, just sitting down admin only jobs now. I'm really struggling with my back so can't do the driving etc. I really can't complain though as have been really lucky up til now, would just love a decent pain free sleep but as long as baby is OK I'll put up with anything xx

 

[Pinkie3]

Hi Ladies, I hope you're both doing well. I haven't been on here for a few days as I was away for a long weekend at my brothers wedding. It was very difficult keeping our little secret but I think I got away with people believing I had some gin in the tonic water I was drinking.

My spotting/bleeding has finally stopped, whoop! I think I was pushing my pessaries up too far and it was irritating my cervix, I started to put them in lightly a few days ago and since then the bleeding has stopped. I done another digital test again this morning (I didn't want to do it while I was away incase it was bad news, it would have ruined the big day) and thankfully it still comes up pregnant, phew, with all the bleeding I just wanted to make sure. I am not doing anymore tests now, I found it quite stressful doing one each morning I would get really anxious. My first scan is in two weeks so I am going to try be good and hold out until then. Still no symptons but I am just going to be thankful as I am sure that will not last.

Jaybo, I am sorry the NHS didn't change up your meds while you were stimming. I have no doubt that your new clinic will be monitoring you very closely and will adjust your meds according to your growth to get you the best eggs possible. On all my cycles I had to stim for 14 days on 450 to get my follicles to a mature size. And you are right, this thread definitely reminds us we only need one good egg to make a baby I hope you are getting on ok with the injections.

Hi Tass, I am pleased to hear you've had a good pregnancy and I am not surprised you are starting to struggle a little, you are almost ready to drop. It's going to be a very warm week so drink plenty of water and keep those feet up, I am sure you deserve it.

 

[Jaybo]

Hi ladies!

Pinkie, I'm pleased to hear the spotting has stopped. I've heard others talking about the pessaries causing spotting. It sounds like a good idea to stop testing now, although I can imagine the temptation is to test everyday for the next nine months! Not too long left until your first scan now.

Tass glad to hear you're starting to slow down now! It must be extra difficult in this heat. I bet you're counting down the days.

As for me AF has arrived and I have my baseline scan next week and then hopefully I can start stimming! It all feels like it's moving along very quickly now.

 

[Pinkie3]

Hi Ladies, it's all over for me unfortunately

I went for a scan at the hospital this morning and I had a chemical, there was nothing there. Why I was still getting positive tests a week later I have no idea. I just didn't feel the slightest bit pregnant and was starting to worry so I took another digital this morning and it said 'not pregnant'. I called the hospital and they told me to go straight in.

I feel a bit numb about it all! I am also feeling alittle angry that I had to wait so long to find this out, I have gone more than two weeks thinking I was pregnant when I wasn't, its really unfair. After the TWW they should do blood tests to check my HCG levels so I knew where I stood.

The DH was away on business last night so he has no idea yet, I am dreading him coming home. I need to make some decisions about what we do from here, I don't think my body is cut out to have a baby. I might have to look at other options.

I wish I had better news for you.

 

[Jaybo]

Oh Pinkie I'm so so sorry to read this. There are no words to say that can make this any better. It's heartbreaking and so unfair. I'm sorry to hear that DH isn't there with you at the moment too.Sending you the hugest hugs through the internet

I agree I don't know why beta tests aren't standard practice in the UK it makes no sense. I know it's difficult but try not to think about decisions and what next at the moment. You just need some time grieve and talk with DH before you even try to make sense of all of this. Do you have a follow-up appointment booked at the clinic?

I'm here if you need Pinkie, feel free to PM or email me if you want to chat

 

[Tass]

Oh Pinkie, I am so so sorry, can only imagine what you are going through right now

I'm sorry you had to go to the scan without your husband as well, I hope you were able to give each other some kid of comfort last night as well.

Jaybo is right, take some time to gather your thoughts & grieve before you try & make any decisions. It's so unfair, I really wish there was something I could say to make this easier for you.

I'll be thinking of you & sending you lots of hugs

Take care honey xxxx

 

[Pinkie3]

Thank you for your kind words ladies, as you both unfortunately know the infertility road is a cruel painful one but I am glad I have you lovelies on here to talk to that fully understand.

I am doing better today, my DH isn't unfortunately. I've had a bit more time to get my head around things. I knew something wasn't right on Monday and when my DH left for business on Tuesday I done some tests when they were negative I knew it was over and the scan yesterday confirmed it. I felt more emotional yesterday having to tell my DH that there was no baby, it was his face that broke my heart. I love him so very much and all we want is to make each other happy. Seeing the devastation is horrible but we are very lucky to have each other and no matter what happens we will never let this break us.

Ok done with the soppy stuff. We both hardly slept last night, we were up talking for hours. I know it sounds a little too soon but I am done with sitting around waiting for things to happen. On each cycle we've taken breaks, its meant that I got a bit of a life back but then I lose it again when we cycle, I don't want to waste another 6 months thinking about what we are going to do I just want to get on with it. I am going to be 36 this year I was suppose to already have a couple of kids so I want to keep going.

I am thinking about egg donor, we have discussed this in a bit of detail before but I wanted to give mine one last chance. I don't think my eggs are good enough. I haven't had my FSH tested for a couple of years but my periods are getting lighter and lighter and I have no doubt my quality is getting worse. This cycle proved it, I struggled to get one egg, I know the egg we got amazingly became a top grade embryo but we don't know the anything about the genetics or if it had any abnormalities, which apparently is the main reason for implantation failure. Unfortunately I never get enough embryos to have these tests, I just have to transfer whatever I have. The fact I have now had 4 good embryos transferred and our best one with all the help of implantation procedures and meds suggests to me that they are just not good enough.

I have been doing a lot of reading about going to Greece for egg donor cycles, the reviews have been nothing but positive. It's half the price of the UK and the donors are matched really quickly plus due to the Greek laws they remain anonymous. I am going to do a lot more research into it but if I can experience a pregnancy and have a part of my DH genes grow inside me to give us the family we crave for I think I would do it.

Sorry this has become a LONG message, I got a bit carried away.

Thanks for all your support during this cycle. I will be staying on here to continue watching you through your jounery and pregnancy.

 

[Jaybo]

Hi Pinkie, I'm glad you are feeling a little bit better. Sorry to hear DH is struggling - I think it's really difficult for our guys sometimes as in someways they are just helpless observers to all of the turmoil of IVF. It's so hard to see them heartbroken at the same time.

It sounds like you are feeling ready to start thinking about what you want to do next, and you have to go with your heart and how you feel. There are so many ladies on here that I have read have had wonderful experiences with donor eggs, and it gives them their much longed for family. DH and I started to talk about DE treatment after our last cycle when we realised that my body dosen't really respond very well to the IVF treatment. I hope that one of the ladies that have been through DE treatment can give you some advice. I think there is a DE thread you could join if you do a search on bnb.

The other option I was looking into was natural/mild IVF, where they use minimal medication and aim for one or two good eggs. I do wonder how much all the meds fries our eggs and if we are only getting a few eggs anyway then why not try a more natural approach and hope for better quality embryo? Although I don't know if the meds can interfere with the genetic or chromosomal structure of the eggs, so if that is the issue then this approach may not be the solution. The clinic I was looking at was create fertility if you're interested.

Wishing you all the luck in the world with the next steps in your journey hon. Let us know how you are getting on xxx