Everyone else is getting pregnant!

[Leeze]

Oh Twinkle, that sounds really tough for you the other day in the meeting. I feel for you and really relate to that. Two of my friends are about 16 weeks pregnant and both of them told me just after I was confiding in them that so many others around me are pregnant and that it was difficult for me after my m/c. I so want to be really happy for them but it also makes me feel quite sad for myself. Mind you one of them has had 4 miscarriages now so it also gives me hope and courage to know that she's found the strength to keep going and is now hopefully passed the danger point.

One of my work colleagues started TTC at the same time as me (january) and has just gone off on mat leave. She's blossomed and bloomed the whole time and I've sat in the room with her on so many occasions trying to be happy for her but crying inside.

I think it's good to be positive and stay strong as much as possible but it's also good to let ourselves feel emotional because this is important stuff!

 

[twinkle1975]

Nat - we're trying for number 1 too, I've been married before but ex was violent and controlling and I never wanted to bring kids into that environment and DH is 5 years younger than me & I'm his first long term realtionship. Roll on Christmas!!
One4 I know what you mean - some people are so fertile its ridiculous!
Leeze - I'm really glad I've got all of you to talk to - I'd go loopy with out BnB!

 

[Nat0619]

Hello again ladies

Well the got me today so I'm out this month. To be honest, knew it wasn't my month this time. Also guess I now don't have any worry of being pregnant immediately after my new job offer last week. So going to concentrate on sorting out details for my new job and enjoy our holiday to Cornwall next week now, including enjoying some

What stage of cycle are all you ladies on now? x

 

[Redclaire]

I see preggy girls all the time...plus my best mate who is older than me (she's37) is now preg first time a trying!!! Very easy to get cheesed off at the fact that i know so much about pee on stix and CD charts when everyone else seems fall preg sooo easy!! i know that's not entirely true but some days it just feels that way!!
but i shall keep my chin up!!
Rome wasn't built in a day and as my mom says 'what's meant for ya won't pass you by'!!

 

[Nat0619]

'Rome wasn't built in a day' is true. But there are plenty of girls who seem to get their 'rome' in the first month

Sorry, I'm having a bad day today, always do the day AF arrives. Just starting to feel like maybe I'm not meant to ever be a mother x

 

[one4 me2]

'Rome wasn't built in a day' is true. But there are plenty of girls who seem to get their 'rome' in the first month

Sorry, I'm having a bad day today, always do the day AF arrives. Just starting to feel like maybe I'm not meant to ever be a mother x

I know exactly how you feel, Nat, and I'm sure a lot of the women here do too. Almost every month when I get the I let out a good cry by myself. By the time it's almost gone, I'm ready to try again. But I always have doubts...like it's never going to happen, especially at 38. Hang in there, and remember you're not alone in this.

 

[twinkle1975]

Hello Ladies - I'm on day 4 now - done the sobbing - now back onto the not thinking about it until the witch has gone

 

[Nat0619]

You're just a bit ahead of me then Twinkle, I'm classing today as my CD1 as had to with my CBFM (have reset it this morning but not sure whether going to properly use it this month).

Thinking of possibly having a month of not really trying, just enjoying my break to Cornwall next week (AF has timed well to be gone for that at least!) and concentrating on finalising details for my new job x

 

[Leeze]

Hi everyone

I'm 6 DPO so am in that "oh please let it be me this time" kinda mood. I really relate to feeling hopeless each month when AF comes, but somehow by the time I'm around ovulation I normally feel quite optimistic again.

Let's not give up hope though. A good friend of mine had her first baby at 40 and is now 14 weeks along at 42. And she had 4 m/cs along the way but somehow kept going. I keep reminding myself that statistically it takes most couples around a year to get pregnant, even those under 35. As long as we take good care of ourselves (which I'm trying hard too except when AF comes a lot of that goes out of the window for a couple of days) then we've got a really good chance of getting there! Baby dust and positive thoughts to everyone xx

 

[sianyld]

sorry i posted in the wrong section!

 

[Juice]

Hi ladies, may I join this chat too? I can totally relate to the feelings you all have. I have a group of 4 girlfriends that met about 5 years ago and, one by one, we have been to each other's weddings and 2 have had babies. The friend who married shortly after me has recently announced her pregnancy and now I feel like the odd one out. I am almost dreading our next get together as it's so hard to listen to constant baby talk!

Aaggghhhhh...why can't it happen for us?
Lol xx

 

[Nat0619]

I know what you mean Juice. I made the mistake of telling a good few of my friends that we were starting to try. I now find I am starting to dread seeing those that know as I always get the question, which is getting annoying. A couple of them have been very good and haven't asked once, which I really appreciate, but a few others do ask any time I see them

A couple of them have just started trying for their second babies (both have 18 month olds) and I'm just waiting for the call that says they are pregnant as I just know they'll beat me to it

My mom also knows we are trying and it kills me that I can't seem to give her the grandchild I know she so desperately wants I feel such a failure.

x

 

[Juice]

Oh Nat, you musn't feel like a failure. It's horrid when you have pressure on you from all sorts of directions but, a failure, you certainly are not.

I'm going to visit my gorgeous 18month old nephew this weekend. My sister-in-law is expecting a girl in November...I feel so jealous that all the time I've been ttc, she has been able to enjoy her baby boy...and...fall pregnant just like that with #2! I feel so bad for feeling jealous.

It'll happen for us one day Hun xx

 

[one4 me2]

I know what you mean Juice. I made the mistake of telling a good few of my friends that we were starting to try. I now find I am starting to dread seeing those that know as I always get the question, which is getting annoying. A couple of them have been very good and haven't asked once, which I really appreciate, but a few others do ask any time I see them

A couple of them have just started trying for their second babies (both have 18 month olds) and I'm just waiting for the call that says they are pregnant as I just know they'll beat me to it

My mom also knows we are trying and it kills me that I can't seem to give her the grandchild I know she so desperately wants I feel such a failure.

x

You shouldn't feel like you're a failure. I am an only child, and I know how much my mom would love to have a grandchild. But I also know that I cannot give her that, and who knows, I may never be able to give her a grandchild. But I won't let myself feel like this is the only thing that I can giver her to make her proud, because I know that she loves me no matter if I have a baby or not..and I'm sure your mom feels the same.

 

[Nat0619]

Thanks ladies. I know my mom will not think any less of me but I just know her and my dad will be such great grandparents.

It's different for my OH's mum, he has a sister who already has a 10 year old boy, so she is already a grandma. I do have a younger brother, who is getting married in 2012, so I am not my parents' only chance of a grandchild. But I am the oldest (by 7 years) so think I should be the bearer of the first grandchild!

Juice and One4me2, how long have you both been ttc? x

 

[one4 me2]

Thanks ladies. I know my mom will not think any less of me but I just know her and my dad will be such great grandparents.

It's different for my OH's mum, he has a sister who already has a 10 year old boy, so she is already a grandma. I do have a younger brother, who is getting married in 2012, so I am not my parents' only chance of a grandchild. But I am the oldest (by 7 years) so think I should be the bearer of the first grandchild!

Juice and One4me2, how long have you both been ttc? x

I'ts been about 2-3 years for me. I had a chemical (or false positive...whatever you call it) back in Oct. 2008. My period was exactly one week late after I got the positive. Nothing since.

 

[Nat0619]

Have you had all the tests done at docs? We've been ttc 'properly' (although our 'effort' varies month by month really!) for 6 months now. But had a year of NTNP prior to that.

I keep planning to go to docs to get checked out but then chicken out and think 'No, I'll give it one more month'. My OH had a routine check-up at the docs about 2 months ago (as he takes low-dose high bp tablets) and mentioned us trying to the doc. Doc said we'd need to try for at least 6-12 months properly before we would be looked at.

x

 

[one4 me2]

I've had two HSG's done...nothing found. Went for 1 IVF...failed. My periods are regular every month. My husband has super swimmers according to the tests (tested twice). I have one small fibroid, but doc says it's nothing and it's not getting any bigger. Soooo, other than that, I was told high FSH. I won't be seeing any more docs. If this doesn't happen on it's own, then we're pretty much done.

 

[Nat0619]

Really hope it happens for you soon

 

[Leeze]

Hi ladies

I went to the Docs recently to ask mine for advice because we've been TTC for 9 months and I'd read that when you've over 35 it's best to get checked out after 6 months rather than wait for a year. He said in our local area you need to have been trying for at least 18 months before you get a referral to the fertility clinic.

One of my friends of a similar age had been trying about a year and told her doctor they'd been trying for 2 years so they got a referral straight away. It turned out she had a few fibroids which they removed and she got pregnant quite soon after.

One4me2 - I'm sorry to hear you've been trying for 2-3 years and that there doesn't seem to be anything specific causing it. I guess that must be really hard for you. I think the fact that you got a BFP at all is a good sign, this suggests that something is working ok. Have you thought about getting a hair test done to see if there's any vitamin/mineral deficiency? I was reading about this in a book yesterday - let me know if you want me to dig out the details? Also another friend of mine told me recently about a herb called Maca which I've now got on order. It's apparently a fertility herb that is totally natural - she got pregnant the first month after using it (after having several chemicals). xx