Fall is here...now to plant my little pumpkin seed!!!

[Prayingforno1]

Yes we should have a good support this month with everyone's cycle in tuned.

After being in a pretty much neutral mood all day, I just called to make appt for cd2 scan and bloodwork and nurse advises they need DH to run further tests and she suggests we sit out this month becuase she doesn't want me to start meds and cancel midcycle again if his results don't look good. I know they want to give us the best chance we have but sometimes I wonder if these doctors and nurses understand how emotionally draining it is to be ttc for so long with absolutely 0 success. Do they understand that after leaving the office on the drive home you have tears rolling down your face, do they understand how long the tww really feels and how disappointing it is when we poas to see that bfn yet again. I wish I could go home early. Please 5pm hurry

 

[beaglemom]

Praying - I am with you...I think that being so early in our cycles makes us more hormonal anyways...I almost cried when my office said I could not do a walk in first thing & had to wait until 9...that is not even something to get upset over! Then my banker said something stupid & frustrating & I was just like I have to get out of here...so I left to run a few work errands then he was gone when I left. So now I am alone in the office waiting for 5 to come.

I will be medicated this cycle, so I will O on cd 12. A medicated cycle for me is pretty structured & easily predicted.

 

[Prayingforno1]

Thanks Beagle I love blaming the hormones lol. GL on your visit tomorrow. I spoke with the doc's office and they will let me know by 10am tomorrow if they will allow us to go ahead with IUI this month. Please keep fingers crossed for me. What meds will you be on this month?

 

[floridasian]

Praying - fingers crossed that you will be able to do the IUI this cycle!! Good luck!!

 

[Prayingforno1]

Thanks florida. How's everything been going with you?

Seeing that my day was so stressful I think I deserve a pumpkin spice frappuccino on the way home from work (yes I am one of those pumpkin spice loving people lol)

 

[floridasian]

I feel sluggish - not really motivated to do anything at all! I was also burned out by the large bid that I had to work some over time the last few days, but I think it's mostly from the disappointment of the BFN this morning though.

 

[Prayingforno1]

hun I am still keeping my fingers crossed for your BFP this month.

 

[beaglemom]

I will be on femara & follistim followed by the trigger. That 2 cycles on this gave me 3-4 eggs. But still no positive with IUI...just low count to blame, I guess.

I seriously always feel this way on day 1...doesn't help my schedule was all out of whack. But here is a thought that came to me...every day I am late causes a new set of swimmers to meet my egg (in theory)...so I need to look at the days late as the universe putting me in touch with the perfect baby. I guess that is a good way to look at all the negatives...each negative is one step closer to a positive. There is a quote (I think Babe Ruth)...every strike gets me closer to a home run.

 

[Prayingforno1]

Thanks for the quote beagle. I am hoping we have alot of home runs in the coming weeks

 

[FutureBabyG]

Anyone else still in the tww? I feel so left behind. Hopefully there is a good reason. I am only 7dpo so far.... long ways to go. This tww is the longest ever I feel like.

 

[floridasian]

Well technically Michelle and I both still are, as in no AF yet although we both got BFN's this morning at 12 DPO.

When are you planning on testing, FBG?

 

[Prayingforno1]

GL Future & Florida (Our Sept BFPs)

 

[minuet]

I just ordered vitex for me and more horny goat weed for dh! Im pretty excited to try an herbal route!

Hi and welcome to the thread.

Do you ovulate on your own? If so you shouldn't take vitex, as it can mess up your cycles. Vitex regulates hormones over the course of a few months, but if your hormones are already working correctly, then it will only do you harm.

 

[minuet]

People really don't understand what it's like to ttc long term. No one knows, unless you have been through it personally, the heartache, depression, and angry you go through. We all really have been through a lot and I wish people had some sort of idea. Then they would stop asking questions and being so insensitive. I don't know about you all but I am open about our struggle with friends and family because I couldn't take their questions and judgement. But then begun the well do this it'll work it worked for me blah blah blah! But I'd rather that then feeling alone in this. I like the support especially from family.

You are absolutely right. People have no idea how horrible this ordeal is, and can be so incredibly insensitive.
My coworkers - both ladies - know that we want children and have been having issues for years. Yet they don't seem to grasp that it is a deeply painful experience. If they grasped that I was raw and bleeding on this subject, why wouldn't they watch what they said?
I mean really, if I knew someone's spouse just died, would I go around telling them stories of my husband, what a great relationship we have, our future plans etc? No! I'd have some discretion and not say things that cause hurt.
Yet these women can't bring that same discretion to a subject that is also painful.
Family and extended family don't know of our issues, because they would just question and judge and etc. They probably just assume a delay because of spouse's cancer etc.

 

[froggyfrog]

I just ordered vitex for me and more horny goat weed for dh! Im pretty excited to try an herbal route!

Hi and welcome to the thread.

Do you ovulate on your own? If so you shouldn't take vitex, as it can mess up your cycles. Vitex regulates hormones over the course of a few months, but if your hormones are already working correctly, then it will only do you harm.

hello!! Yes I do ovulate on my own but not good enough. I have low progesterone levels after I ovulate and have read that the vitex can help with that. I also ovulate late, this past cycle was 39 days long. I took letrozole for 7 cycles and it helped to regulate me!!

 

[minuet]

Negative this morning Going to stop progesterone tonight.

Sorry Michelle for the BFN. Me too and I'm stopping the progesterone now.

I am sorry you both got a bfn.

 

[minuet]

Yes we should have a good support this month with everyone's cycle in tuned.

After being in a pretty much neutral mood all day, I just called to make appt for cd2 scan and bloodwork and nurse advises they need DH to run further tests and she suggests we sit out this month becuase she doesn't want me to start meds and cancel midcycle again if his results don't look good. I know they want to give us the best chance we have but sometimes I wonder if these doctors and nurses understand how emotionally draining it is to be ttc for so long with absolutely 0 success. Do they understand that after leaving the office on the drive home you have tears rolling down your face, do they understand how long the tww really feels and how disappointing it is when we poas to see that bfn yet again. I wish I could go home early. Please 5pm hurry

I wish they understood, maybe they would be more kind and gentle instead of so businesslike all the time.

In a later post I think you said that you'd know today if you could do IUI this cycle? Did you hear back from the doctor?

 

[minuet]

It took a bit to get caught up on this thread, but it's been a rough week and I needed a break from this site.
Yesterday morning was my appointment with the office my doctor referred me to. The doctor was very kind and sympathetic, but told me immediately that she couldn't help me by doing any ultrasounds through a Clomid cycle.
She wanted to know my story, but I had to keep it short because it was making me cry and I couldn't deal with those emotions before work. As it was I hated breaking down between the office and work, and trying to pretend nothing was wrong when I arrived at work sans most of my mascara. My coworkers may know that we are infertile, but have no idea we're trying, etc.
So, I now have no choice but to go through the only fertility place in town, and that'll be at least a month before I even see them. The doctor told me they'll make us do tests all over again and I don't know where we'll get the money to pay for this stuff.
My spouse is in school right now, and so money is not in great supply. We aren't waiting until he's OUT of school to TTC though, since it's already taken forever, and pregnancy lasts 9 months. He'll be at a new job next spring, so won't have to worry about money then.
Maybe fertility clinics do payment plans?
It may sound foolish to do fertility stuff when money is short, but honestly, the first two years we were married, we didn't go to the doctor because of finances.......and then the next two years were lost to cancer. I will always wonder if we'd gone those first two years if it would have been easier to get pregnant and if we would have caught husband's cancer earlier on. So, no more waiting.

.......sorry for the wall of text. It's been a rough week for both of us.....

 

[beaglemom]

You have had a rough road.

I do not know why they would redo any tests. My Dr forwarded everything to the specialists so she only did a couple additional tests. When you make your appt ask about forwarding all your records over.

 

[Prayingforno1]

minuet- When I moved from my gyno to specialist, we got all test results transferred (although at some point not initially he had us redo some of the tests). I am so sorry you and DH had to go through so much and I understand about putting fertility treatment as no1 because that's what we are doing. It is a sacrifice we are willing to make. My clinic doesn't do payment plans but many do, it won't hurt to ask. What is your game plan in the month you wait for your appointment?