February Valentines 2012

[ellitigg]

Joker - I do the same as Junebugs, we do a nappy change half way through the feed and that wakes him enough to finish it and then he normally drifts off again. If he's good at not falling asleep at the breast after 5 minutes, you could just change the nappy at the beginning and do the whole feed after.

I'm having BM supply issues like some of you, normally in the evening. I've been trying to overcome it by expressing extra in the morning and using that for one of the evening feeds. A couple of times we've had to top up with a bit of formula as he is not getting enough from me. I think part of the problem is that he's too lazy to keep going so even after he's given up, I can express more from that side. I'm hoping that by always starting him on the breast, I'm still boosting my supply...but who knows.

 

[Almost Mama]

Ps- Kenny naturally started increasing his intake during the day and yesterday during the day he fed every 2-2.5 hours and he ended up going 5 hours last night from one feeding to the next!! Then the next one was 3.5 hours! Minus about 30 mins of me rocking him ti sleep I got a couple good shifts of sleep in!

Jok;
the book we were talking about suggests only doing a diaper change if you know for sure there's been a BM, and even then, you change, and "shush-pat" back to sleep. no feed, no cuddle, and as little light/stimulation as possible.
to avoid feed dependency for sleep, it also says never let the baby fall asleep while feeding, keep them up for 'activity time' (even as little as 5 mins) after a feed will teach them that being active brings sleep, rather than eating

 

[swanxxsong]

Aria is slowing draining the life from me. she woke up at 2am and is still awake and it is 8:16am. All she's done is nurse and potty and cry if I don't play with her. My entire body is shaking from exhaustion and she won't sleep. I cant function much longer and OH is at work. I hope she falls asleep soon...

 

[Guppy051708]

 

[swanxxsong]

Last time this happened when she finally fell asleep it was for 4 hours. I'm keeping every body part crossed that's humanly possible to cross haha.

 

[Jokerette]

I have something that hard for me to write.

My baby is 2 weeks old and I've been having a harder time adjusting than I thought. I imagines motherhood being this glamorous time with me and my adorable baby and I would breastfeed no problem. But it's been so much harder. I don't like Breastfeeding ... It hurts and it's frustrating not knowing when baby is done eating. I also feel like I resent him for waking me in the middle of the night and I'm jealous that DH gets to just hold baby when he wants but I have ti be on some schedule. I want to give up.

I cry sometimes and I don't know I'd I'm just over tired or if it's something worse. I have never thought about hurting my baby... Never. But I find myself imagining how much easier my life would be right now if I didn't have a baby. I feel so tied down and it feels like its never going to get easier. I look at photos of me from a year ago, skinny and happy, and now I just feel exhausted and worn down.

I also wish I could just have some special time for me and my DH, but even when we've gone out to lunch I am always looking at the clock thinking that the freedom is short lives because baby needs ti breast feed soon.

I secretly wish that there was some medical reason I couldn't breastfeed so that other people could help me.

Occasionally I have looked down at baby and felt disconnected... Like, is he really MY baby? I thought I was supposed to feel this deeper connection but it's not quite there yet. I think he's cute and adorable but he doesn't always feel like mine. Does that make sense?

Are these baby blues or does it sound like something more? Is 2 weeks too soon for depression? Should I quit breast feeding? These thought are creeping into eveytging and I am having a hard time enjoying anything.

 

[Junebugs]

I have something that hard for me to write.

My baby is 2 weeks old and I've been having a harder time adjusting than I thought. I imagines motherhood being this glamorous time with me and my adorable baby and I would breastfeed no problem. But it's been so much harder. I don't like Breastfeeding ... It hurts and it's frustrating not knowing when baby is done eating. I also feel like I resent him for waking me in the middle of the night and I'm jealous that DH gets to just hold baby when he wants but I have ti be on some schedule. I want to give up.

I cry sometimes and I don't know I'd I'm just over tired or if it's something worse. I have never thought about hurting my baby... Never. But I find myself imagining how much easier my life would be right now if I didn't have a baby. I feel so tied down and it feels like its never going to get easier. I look at photos of me from a year ago, skinny and happy, and now I just feel exhausted and worn down.

I also wish I could just have some special time for me and my DH, but even when we've gone out to lunch I am always looking at the clock thinking that the freedom is short lives because baby needs ti breast feed soon.

I secretly wish that there was some medical reason I couldn't breastfeed so that other people could help me.

Occasionally I have looked down at baby and felt disconnected... Like, is he really MY baby? I thought I was supposed to feel this deeper connection but it's not quite there yet. I think he's cute and adorable but he doesn't always feel like mine. Does that make sense?

Are these baby blues or does it sound like something more? Is 2 weeks too soon for depression? Should I quit breast feeding? These thought are creeping into eveytging and I am having a hard time enjoying anything.

oh hun i understand what you mean, that is why i started adding in some bottle feedings even thou i read everywhere that you should wait until after 1 month ( which i now think doesnt make a difference because he never had any issue with it). i dont think it is depression, i think it is just baby blues because i have felt the same way sometimes. But i could be wrong, and you sould have depression maybe you should talk to your dr. about it. I do understand what you are feeling thou, sometimes it just feels like you are a milk machine and there is no bonding, but somedays it feels ok and i feel a bond

 

[Jokerette]

Exactly junebugs! How did you add in bottles? When did you pump? Dix you stash some up for a few days before? When did you OH give the bottles? Night or day?

 

[TeQuiero]

Jokerette, first! Secondly, I think that every first time mother goes through this stage, it is very overwhelming to go from feeling "free" to having a baby. I went through this feeling with DS1. Look at the information on https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/postpartum-depression/DS00546 it has the symptoms of just regular baby blues and PPD. To me it just sounds like FTM baby blues, you are still wanting to take care of him and you don't think about hurting him.... it is just a lot to handle in such a short period of time. Third, on the subject of BF, if you feel that BF is not best for you, then work on switching him to formula (by slowly adding some formula everyday), do not feel bad if you have to do that. You have given him a head start on the extra antibodies, which is great. If you do switch to formula, make a plan with DH to rotate night feedings (one you then next one him), that way you don't feel as tired and then he is helping a bit. You are doing a great job hun, and don't feel like you aren't, we are all here for you.

Sorry if it was a bit of a ramble.

 

[Guppy051708]

What you are feeling is perfectly normal.
From what you write I would say its just baby blues and nothing to worry about. Everything sounds typical.
...I know its hard to believe but it will get easier. It may not seem like that now, but it will.
As for the lack of connection...i never really felt that WOW factor until my son was like a year old...

For as hard as BFing is, i say stick with it. Even though it seems like this daunting task (and trust me, i get it, I have insuficient glandular tissue and feeding is a 2 hour marathon for me, between nursing, then pumping, then supplementing with an SNS and making sure i eat perfectly and take all these crazy herbs...I will NEVER be able to EBF, and i went through such a tough time with #1...but i stuck with it, and the reward was high). i felt like you...like i was balled and chained to a clock having to feed my baby and do x,y,z just to make a little milk and yet knowing i will never be able to have a full supply). It was hard...and i did resent him a bit like you do with your LO, ....the connection will come in time.
Multiple studies indicate that women who BF actually have extrodinary less rates of depression than women who FF (not bashing FFing, but thats just what research says). The reason is because you realse lots of oxytocin "the love hormone" when you BF. Then there is a physiological response between you and the baby and you just share these love hormones....it may not seem like it, but scientiically thats what happens.
Women who do not BF do not get these releases of the hormone cocktail. In fact, when women dont BF, their bodys phisical response is to act as if the baby was lost....again im not bashing formula. Lord knows we had to use it with Isaiah. I only made less than 4 ounces per 24 hour period with my son....we supplemented the rest with formula-24oz! ...its tough work, and he did wean early-at 5 months-and so thats upsetting...but it still feels good knowing what i had accomplished....i think you will feel the same, it may not seem like that now, but in time, i believe most women who keep BFing have this great feeling of empowerment.

Im not saying whats right or wrong for you, but i guess given my experience and the fact that you are asking if you should stop BFing...i, personally would say, keep on at it-it will get easier...with that said i dont know you all too well and i dont know your life, so i can't make that judgement. It very well could be best for some to stop BFing in that situation, but not usually....i say give BFing 6 weeks...if you still feel the same way in 6 weeks, reevaluate...i would also HIGHLY suggest seeing an LC...i could not have gotten through IGT without one...this time i dont have one bc there is only one LC nearby and they wont take my insurance...but otherwise i would....BFing will always be a hard, invovled process for me with the lack of tissue...but its worth it, for me...but you have to decide for yourself and whatever you do i fully support you

 

[Jokerette]

Thank you so much for listening girls and got your support. Im going to breastfeed this next week and then on next Sunday I'll evaluate again for the following week. This was a suggestion by my MIL so I don't make any rash decisions. Maybe if I break it down one week at a time it will seem less daunting. I'm going to try ti change my attitude and say "yay I get to breastfeed my son"... Rather than "ugh I have ti go breastfeed". Everyone says it gets easier so I'm hoping it will. I went to a Lactation support meeting last week and I plan on going every Tuesday. Ok I can do this...

Thank you for validating my feelings and making me feel like I am not crazy. This morning I have been cuddling with Kenny while I watch TV and trying to just enjoy him while also enjoying a sitcom on DVR like I would have before he was here. I am an artist and I think after his next feeding if I can get him to go ti sleep maybe I will do a little sketching.

Thank you for bring there for me.

 

[Junebugs]

Jokerette- I did stock up on it for a couple days before i started giving him the bottle. I normally pump on one breast while he eats from the other. I wont do that on every feed but i do it a couple times a day. I would say that he gets bottle fed at least 1 time in a 24 hours period, it is not always a set time. Yesterday my sister came over for the day and she did all the feedings for me (about 3 in a row) and i have to say it felt really good and by the end of the day i was missing him on my breast, it just gave me that break.I felt i was able to bond with him and it wasnt all about feeding him. I still pumped a couple time though that time that she was feeding but it is not everytime he gets the bottle and it doesnt have to be on his schedule . It might not be for everyone and i was really reluctant to do it at first but it really did help me and gives me a break.

 

[ellitigg]

Thank you so much for listening girls and got your support. Im going to breastfeed this next week and then on next Sunday I'll evaluate again for the following week. This was a suggestion by my MIL so I don't make any rash decisions. Maybe if I break it down one week at a time it will seem less daunting. I'm going to try ti change my attitude and say "yay I get to breastfeed my son"... Rather than "ugh I have ti go breastfeed". Everyone says it gets easier so I'm hoping it will. I went to a Lactation support meeting last week and I plan on going every Tuesday. Ok I can do this...

Thank you for validating my feelings and making me feel like I am not crazy. This morning I have been cuddling with Kenny while I watch TV and trying to just enjoy him while also enjoying a sitcom on DVR like I would have before he was here. I am an artist and I think after his next feeding if I can get him to go ti sleep maybe I will do a little sketching.

Thank you for bring there for me.

What you're feeling sounds really normal hun. I have had days where I feel like a cow, just there to produce milk on demand. Expressing milk has really helped me. I try to express a little bit at the two morning feeds, enough to make a bottle, or at least the majority of a feed. Then I get DH to feed him in the evening - either 7 or 10pm, depending how my milk supply seems. Since we're feeding every 3 hours, this gives me a magic 6 hour window without BF which really feels like a huge difference from a 'me' perspective.

Also, if you're getting pain when you feed, that is enough to put anyone off. In normal circumstances, BF shouldn't be painful and you don't have to put up with it. It is a learning curve for you and your LO. Keep seeing the LC if you can as it might just make the difference for you.

It's probably not the issue - but has anyone checked your LO for tongue tie? A close friend of mine had huge issues and pain with BF because the hospital missed that her baby had tongue tie. It is easy to resolve and she said that as soon as it was fixed, her baby latched really easily and was much less painful. Just something to consider as there can be reasons for the pain.

Above all,

 

[Guppy051708]

Elliot has lip tie and it bothers the crap out of my right side....

you should go to a le leche legue meeting!

I think your plan is terrific.
And as some of the others are doing, perhaps you could pump a couple of times? (that never occured to me, since i dont have enough to do that )

 

[swanxxsong]

Aria has been asleep 3.5 hours and going strong!! So I slept for 3 and am probably crazy for not taking advantage and sleeping more but whatever. lol. I can't sleep.

Joker I totally understand and I agree with what all the others said. Sounds like FTM blues and I went through it too. Still wrestle with it actually. Last night I was so bitter that I was up all night with no sleep while OH was resting. But then he got up for work and took her for an hour and I felt like a jackass for being so pissy lmao. I go through these moments of thinking she'd sleep better on formula or how at least it would be "easier" than pumping for bottles for OH.

But then I snap out of it. lol.

I think your MIL gave you great advice. Don't make an impulsive decision, just take it one day at a time and reevaluate in a week. I found that my emotions settled immensely in a rather quick period of time.

If in a week you feel the same, then at least you have thought it through. No matter what you have us girls here to listen, to whom you can vent, and we won't judge. We are all in this together. I hope you have a good day today!

 

[swanxxsong]

Side note : does anyone's LO seem to not like the bottle much?? Ari doesn't really seem to enjoy taking it on the occasions that we feed her with it and usually the milk ends up to waste because she could care less. I'm worried about this being an issue when I "return to work" - the whopping one day a quarter that I do lol.

 

[ellitigg]

Side note : does anyone's LO seem to not like the bottle much?? Ari doesn't really seem to enjoy taking it on the occasions that we feed her with it and usually the milk ends up to waste because she could care less. I'm worried about this being an issue when I "return to work" - the whopping one day a quarter that I do lol.

Have you tried different speed teats? We use playtex bottles and I first tried to use a fast teat which Josh completely rejected. He's pretty good with the slow one. Normally it takes a little persuasion for us to get him to start but once he catches on that there's milk available, you can't stop him. lol

 

[swanxxsong]

Yeah we have a few different nipples and she seems apathetic about all of them lol. Idk. Maybe she's just preferring boob. She smiles when I whip it out of my shirt

 

[TeQuiero]

Yesterday is the first day that we tried a bottle, she was very messy.... I think it is mostly because the type of bottle we have has a smaller around nipple, so she doesn't know what to think She did pretty good with it.


Adelina's umbilical cord came off the other day... but now it is bleeding a little bit and I feel bad. It doesn't seem to be bothering her but I am going to keep an eye on it and if it continues to bleed a little I am going to call her pedi.


Just to share where she gets her looks from, she is absolutely ALL DH... I can only hope she'll be like the boys and have my eyes (that will be all that she gets from me )

 

[Tink81]

My little bean was born on her due date of 24th feb 2012 at 21.08 pm weighing 7lb 8oz. I am breast feeding and feel a bit like a cow at the min, lol