fed up of being told breast is best!!!

[BigMumma01]

This is probably going to be a controveral subject..and really dont want to offend anyone but i am sooooo frustrated and annoyed!!!

Everywhere i go.. antenatal..midiwfe.. health visitor.. pregnancy meetings.. i get told breast is best!!! In my antenatal classes they wouldnt even talk about bottle feeding.. like it is the "dirty" option..and you are wrong for not breastfeeding..and i am a bad mother for doing this!!!

I havent even decided what i want to do yet..and said i will wait untill he is here to decide..but having everyone BANG on about it makes me feel so under pressure i dont want to breastfeed!!!

You are offered LOADS of breastfeeding advice and nothing on bottle feeding!!!

Also, my local hospital are stopping providing formula soon and you have no other option but to breastfeed (good old NHS saving money) so what if you cant breastfeed?!?!

Then to top it off today..my aunte..who has never had kids told me i was hidering my babies development by not breastfeeding my baby! I let rip at her.. she really pushed me over the limit!!

Is anyone else feeling this? how are u handling it? what are you going to do?

Been in tears this morning because i am fed up with the people saying they are not pushing breastfeeding onto me..but then banging on about it!! My O/H and Mum have been soooo supportive and told me to just do what i want and ignore everyone else..but so difficult being a new mum and struggling to do the right thing and not feel like you are not doing the best thing for your baby!!

phew.. rant over.. xxxxxxx

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Yes hun all the way through my pregnancy I was told this. I did try but due to lack of support It didn't work out which is rather ironic as they go on about it through my pregnancy but weren't interested in helping when it actuallycame to it

You are no hindering your childs development if you FF hun. Aidan was FF'd and he hit all his milestones on time etc

Yes breast is good for your baby but FF still helps them grow etc. As long as your baby is being fed then try not to listen tp any judgemental remarks
xx

 

[tiggerlix]

perfectly understand hun..i was hounded with my last daughter and hadnt decided what to do.anyway in my birth plan i decided i wanted her straight to my tummy and i would try.they basicaly did it for me...arrgh!!! so didnt feel natrual at all.I got fed up and started to cry then i shouted to them to get me a bottle ffs.I really wanted to breast feed this one and up untill now i was adament i was but now im having 2nd thoughts,so went out and bought bottles ect just in case.Something so natrual should not be pressured into as it takes that feeling away
good luck hun in whatever you decide
xx

 

[mememe84]

I am hoping to breast feed but i have bought formula incase it doesnt go to plan. I do think breast is best but i don't have a problem if people FF all my sisters have used formula i just decided to try this first x

 

[viixee]

I know exactly what you mean, i went to the midwife yesterday and she had a student midwife with her, while my midwife was on the phone she told the student midwife to go through the breast feeding questions with me in my notes.

So 1st question... do you plan on breastfeeding? I said no i plan on bottle feeding. then her and the midwife turned and looked at me and was like oh, you havnt even thought about breastfeeding?
Yeah obviously i have thought about it! next question came dont you know all the benefits of breast? so i said yeah but iv decided to bottle feed. so then she starts listing all the benefits to me as if iv never heard of them before. then the student midwife turned to me and said in a really sarcastic voice - So why are you bottle feeding?

As if its bottle feeding is going to harm my child!?

 

[BigMumma01]

I have no problem at all with breastfeeding or bottle feeding..but just with the assumption that i am a bad mother for bottle feeding if thats what i decide to do!

 

[coccyx]

Why can't you take your own formula in? I am surprised hospitals ever supplied formula, except in an emergency.

 

[ravenmel]

Thank god I'm not the only one.
Everyone looks at you like your an alien when you say no to breastfeeding. My mum keeps going on about it, and making her little comments,even my OH is now saying they're right because all the studies say this and that ,but before he was on my side with my right to choose.

My sister had a baby last year and on her ward was a lady in tears because the baby didn't want her milk and the hospital refused to give her formula to get the baby fed, horrible people. I told my midwife straight, don't even think about trying to force me, I've made up my mind and I'm taking formula to the hospital(the mini ready made ones).

If formula was so awful they won't sell it, feeding is a bonding time which is important for fathers too, most baby end up having a top up of formula anyway,weeding is a nightmare and we're not milk machine being chain to the baby because they need your milk ick.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

You can take your own tin in.

My hospital supplied bottles but they also provided breastpads and cream for the ladies who were breastfeeding
xx

 

[tiggerlix]

i also believe that however you feed baby has alot to do with life style..especialy in my case..as i have 5 kids already and im single.as you can imagine its hetic at times here and i think ff would be easier without me gettn to stressed.My older kids can help with feeds etc if i need to cook there tea and so forth.I have explained this to my midwife and so far she has been understanding..
but you are not a bad mother if you choose to ff..
xx

 

[tiggerlix]

Why can't you take your own formula in? I am surprised hospitals ever supplied formula, except in an emergency.

our hospital supplys a range of different formula milk,even the sellaphaned teats.mind you that was 4 yrs ago,,dont know if things have changed since
xx

 

[BigMumma01]

Why can't you take your own formula in? I am surprised hospitals ever supplied formula, except in an emergency.

You can, but do you not think this is bad that they do not provide this? what if you have problems in labour and are unable to breastfeed? and this is something you wanted to do prior to labour?! Straight after the birth your O/H has to rush about getting formula and bottles ready and rush them back to the hospital.. i think both options should be provided! They have been for years..so why all of a sudden has this option been taken away?!

As i say,.. i dont disagree with either and i think everyone should do what makes them happy but i think new mothers have enough pressure on them xxxxxxxxxx

 

[tiggerlix]

Why can't you take your own formula in? I am surprised hospitals ever supplied formula, except in an emergency.

You can, but do you not think this is bad that they do not provide this? what if you have problems in labour and are unable to breastfeed? and this is something you wanted to do prior to labour?! Straight after the birth your O/H has to rush about getting formula and bottles ready and rush them back to the hospital.. i think both options should be provided! They have been for years..so why all of a sudden has this option been taken away?!

As i say,.. i dont disagree with either and i think everyone should do what makes them happy but i think new mothers have enough pressure on them xxxxxxxxxx

totally agree.both options should be given support and formula milk should be availabe.will that mean il have to take a sterilised bottle in and milk? and what if your stuck in for days..do you have to take your own sterilising system and milk in..
i better find out
xx

 

[lizzieredrup]

I tried to breastfeed my 1st but had a traumatic birth which meant he was fed a few bottles before I saw him and just couldn't get breastfeeding to work! with my 2nd I did sooooo much reading up about breastfeeding as it was something I really wanted to do, im a very stubborn person too so once I started breastfeeding I wasn't giving up lol I ended up fully breastfeeding him until he stopped himself at 15 months, I then went on to breastfeed my 3rd little man for 20 months, I just couldn't imagine it any other way and can't wait to do it again this time, but that is my personal choice I also just wanted to say my OH has never had any problems bonding with the children while I was breastfeeding, he still had lots and lots of cuddles

But I do not what so ever have any problem with anyone bottle feeding, I do find it very sad that ladies like yourself who don't feel it is right for them, don't get the support you deserve, you are not bad mummys or people for not wanting to breastfeed, its a very personal choice and I think any mum should do what is best for herself and her baby...my sister bottlefed both her girls and she is a fantastic mummy

 

[Janidog]

You have my sympathy!!!!!!!!

After thinking long and hard about it and I have chosen not to BF, the main thing is i will be going back to work part-time (taking LO with me) after 3 weeks, so really I don't want the hassle of trying to BF then changing over to FF. It will also mean hubby can do some of the night feeds. Now my midwife is supportive of me, but my god my sister on the other hand is very disappointed in me. She couldn't BF her first but has managed to BF her second and feels i should at least try. She said i would accept your choice if you have tried, but if you're not going to bother having a go then i don't accept you decision, so basicly making me feel like im failing my LO. Lots of tears and frustration on my part and now we have fallen out over it and my LO hasn't even been born yet

 

[Tudor Rose]

i tried BF my 1st and because i was a teen mum, i wasnt given the support and failed with the feeding, plus i had some nipple issues, my 2nd went straight in the bottle. this time no one has pestered me about feeding..........yet........... but i think i will probley end up FF this time to due to my nipple issues. do what you think is best hun after about 2 weeks your discharged from midwife care anyway and then you see your Health visitor and thats just to weigh bubs.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

i tried BF my 1st and because i was a teen mum, i wasnt given the support and failed with the feeding, plus i had some nipple issues, my 2nd went straight in the bottle. this time no one has pestered me about feeding..........yet........... but i think i will probley end up FF this time to due to my nipple issues. do what you think is best hun after about 2 weeks your discharged from midwife care anyway and then you see your Health visitor and thats just to weigh bubs.

That's excalty what happened to me
xx

 

[wantingno.2]

I totally understand, when they ask you 'THAT QUESTION' i always feel so bad for answering bottle feeding and why should i.

With my first, like one of the other girls had, i too had no support what so ever to breast feed. He did feed once straight after birth and it was really nice that i could do that for him and actually enjoyed it, but it turns out i wasnt doing it right and ended up with a big blister on my nipple, but no one told me otherwise. Over the next 24 hours i tried and tried to get him to latch on again asking for help all the time but it just didnt work and the midwives on the ward always seem to have something better to do. They were busy and stressed and had no time to help me. After 24 hours i was very worried he hadnt had anything so gave up and asked for a bottle, which he took to straight away and drank the whole thing.

This time i've still not really decided but am leaning towards FF and will be taking the ready bottles and teats that they usually supply in hospital with me, i've only seen them in SMA Gold (my hospital no longer supply these) I have told my MW that i will be bottle feeding but i may try to breast feed depending on how i feel. I have some guilt that i didnt breat feed ds so would it be wrong to do different for this one.

I do undertand why they try to convince you to breastfeed but as it's personal choice if someone has firmly made their mind up to FF then all help and advice should be giving to them too.

 

[LesleyP]

I'm going to be FF, my MW has asked me and gone through BF stuff but I told her I'm sticking to my guns at she was fine with it.

Luckily no one else has even mentioned anything but I'm not the sort of person to be pushed into something I don't want to do. xx

 

[kglo]

I work with HIV and Hep C positive women. Both groups are advised not to breastfeed and to support this the hospital supply a steriliser, bottles and formula for 1 year. These babies will require milk after birth as they are kept in for a minimum of 24 hours and it would be illegal to push the mother to breast feed as it could result in the baby getting infected with the virus. It would also be a child protection issue if the mother choose to breast feed.

I am sure they have to supply formula; they will need it in the children's ward. I think all women have a right to decide, on a personal note I have 2 children and one more on the way, I have never breastfed and will not be feeding this one either (By breast, LOL)