fed up of being told breast is best!!!

[KrisKitten]

I read up to page 16 or so and gave up
Im a bit too knackered to type a ridiculously long reply here (be thankful ) but i did justwant to ask something, as an honest question no digs implied at all -
I am aware that during pregnancy BFng is really really pushed bythe NHS, and tbh i totally 100% agree with it. BM holds good health benefits, they are a health organisation - id be appalled tbh if they didnt promote it with all their might. You might say but once someone says they dont want to it should be dropped - but iv spoken to tons of people who insisted they didnt want to, were 'guilt tripped' into it by their MWs, and say its the best thing they ever did. A friend BFed untill her child was 14 months coz of it and is now an avid supporter of BFing and promotes it to anyone.
So like i said, i totally agree it should be really promoted with pregnant women as sometimes it does really well. And it can also make women who feel they might be doing something weird (breasts being seen as sexual and all that) feel like it is the natural thing to do etc.
BUT, my question - Once you have started FFing has breastfeeding still been pushed on you? After those first few weeks when there is still the chance to change your mind and go back and give it another go? Because if it is thats terrible, thats purely just guilt tripping and nasty and i disagree with that totally
A womens decision is her own and i stand by that xxxxx

 

[KrisKitten]

Just scanned the last few pages and wanna apologise for dragging the deate back up, huge to those of you that need it.
Your all wonderful mums and should never think differently xxx

 

[AngelzTears]

I think it's good for a Dr to suggest breast feeding and explain about it and it's potential benefits. But after that I think they should just let you decide and help you with whatever your choice might be.

 

[NeyNey]

Yes yes and YES!! my hospital already refuses to supply formula and I told them I might have issues with BF (inverted nipples a G/H cup sized breasts!) and the MW goes "We'll find a way" .....yeah great, but I said "well what if I can't and want to BF to which she rudely goes "Well you're going to have to bring your own"

I want to BF, just worried I will struggle, and if it's causing me or my baby too much stress I have voiced my opinion that I will happily switch to FF and will gladly return snide remarks on those who tell me I'm making a mistake or doing the wrong thing by my child.

 

[Blah11]

Why shouldn't you rpovide your own babys milk I dont get why people are so upset about formula not being supplied. Breastpads, wipes and nappies aren't, why should formula?

 

[Janidog]

Why shouldn't you rpovide your own babys milk I dont get why people are so upset about formula not being supplied. Breastpads, wipes and nappies aren't, why should formula?

I do agree with you on this - cause im FF i will be packing my own formula (although im hoping for a home birth) I wouldn't be expecting the hospital to provide my formula for me

 

[xUniquex]

Yes yes and YES!! my hospital already refuses to supply formula and I told them I might have issues with BF (inverted nipples a G/H cup sized breasts!) and the MW goes "We'll find a way" .....yeah great, but I said "well what if I can't and want to BF to which she rudely goes "Well you're going to have to bring your own"

I want to BF, just worried I will struggle, and if it's causing me or my baby too much stress I have voiced my opinion that I will happily switch to FF and will gladly return snide remarks on those who tell me I'm making a mistake or doing the wrong thing by my child.

Just wanted to reassure you that inverted nipples and large breast size should NOT prevent you from BF!

You may take a little while finding the best positions and getting the 'knack' of it but tbh it's no diff to someone with regular nipples and smaller breasts as you all have to learn,and everyone has their 'own way' that suits them.

If you are worried about struggling when you have your baby,make sure that you know if BF advisors are on the post natal wards at your hospital and request to see one as soon as you get up there (don't wait until you are stressed out) Also there is a possiblility an old hag might tell you you cant BF because of nipples, mine were very flattened (they are the total opposite now!) and i had some backwards midwife tell me that i might not be able to BF because of that!

 

[NeyNey]

^Thanks hun. That is very reassuring.


And it wasn't the fact that they don't supply it, it was the way it was told me to after a 20 min push on BF, and then when I mentioned what happens if I can't it was the rude remark that followed. I don't mind supplying my own, of course not, but I do object to having nothing available on hand if I have been struggling to BF for hours and it's 2am....Does that mean that baby must wait until 9am and the shops open and someone from my family can run down, get some and then get it back up to the hospital?

 

[alio]

^Thanks hun. That is very reassuring.


And it wasn't the fact that they don't supply it, it was the way it was told me to after a 20 min push on BF, and then when I mentioned what happens if I can't it was the rude remark that followed. I don't mind supplying my own, of course not, but I do object to having nothing available on hand if I have been struggling to BF for hours and it's 2am....Does that mean that baby must wait until 9am and the shops open and someone from my family can run down, get some and then get it back up to the hospital?

my hospital always said they didn't have formula... when i decided to ff in the hosp some ready prepared appeared. i'mm sure they all have it but can't promote it. such nonsense...

 

[trumpetbum]

^Thanks hun. That is very reassuring.


And it wasn't the fact that they don't supply it, it was the way it was told me to after a 20 min push on BF, and then when I mentioned what happens if I can't it was the rude remark that followed. I don't mind supplying my own, of course not, but I do object to having nothing available on hand if I have been struggling to BF for hours and it's 2am....Does that mean that baby must wait until 9am and the shops open and someone from my family can run down, get some and then get it back up to the hospital?

Don't worry. ' We don't supply it' generally means it's not there for general usage but they will have some for 'emergencies' or for women who weren't planning to ff. It costs much more to supply everyone while they are in hospital because it's expected than to supply those who are caught on the hop, if and when it's needed.

 

[ChloesMummy]

It wouldn't bother me if my hospital did not supply formula. It must depend on the trust as both hospitals I have given birth in (opposite ends of Scotland) have both supplied nappies, cotton wool, formula in bottles, maternity pads, breast pads. I don't think any of it should be provided tbh

 

[izzysmummy]

anyway, as far as the op goes i do agree the support for ff'ers and propective ff'ers should equate to support for bf'ers. a lady in my town put herself in front of a train recently due to pressure on her from professionals to breastfeed when she didn't want to. she was made to feel like a failure... the only person who was really failed in this was the 9 week old baby she left behind. i do wonder what would happen if she'd been offered support to embrace her choice without guilt. nothing is worth that. NOTHING.

That's so sad I mean, I felt nowhere near as terrible as that. But I felt so crap with all the pressure on me to BF and the fact it was so painful I wanted to just up and leave. I started to develop a hatred for Grace because the pain was so horrible for me (worse than labour in fact, I would rather labour 10 times over than have the pain of BFing again) which sounds absolutely terrible but everytime she cried and I knew she wanted feeding the resentment would grow a bit more. But I had people telling me if I stoppped BFing I would be a failure. I didn't want to BF at all but I was also pressured into that.

I had to stop not just for Grace's benefit but for my own. I hate to think what I would have done had I carried on going through that over 15 times a day. I wouldn't have gone as far as that poor poor woman I think. But I know had I carried on much longer I would probably have just packed my bags and left. I feel horrible when I think back to those days and knowing I felt so shitty because of one simple thing like feeding my own child and that it could drive me to hate her and want to leave her by herself without a mummy. I was going through a lot of other stuff, mainly mental and sometimes physical abuse from FOB which didn't help. In a way, although it sounds ridiculous, having the option of FF actually saved me and my sanity

honestly bexy, ff saved me too... i won't pretend to be an expert on depression or PND but at the end of the day, even if the lady in this case had been diagnosed with PND one of the causes would likely have been the pressure on her to BF when she didn't want to. that would have been preventable / avoidable. yes, this is extreme but is it really a lot to ask to share support between all feeding options? i could understand them suppressing ff support if it was so very detrimental but come on, we all know it's not. not REALLY....

I completely agree. Like I said, I am in no way offended NOW by people telling me FF is pumping your child full of rubbish etc but back when I was a 19 year old first time mum being told I was basically crap at what I was doing was very upsetting. I never got praise for it while I did it, just told to keep going or I would be failing my child. I feel silly for looking back and thinking just how far it drove me but a lot of people who BF don't really understand just how much the pressure to BF can actually affect someone. It comes naturally to a lot of women, for others it's harder and yes, perserverance is often the best way forward. For me, it would have been almost dangerous. BFing support should be given. But FF support should also be given for those who don't choose to BF or can't for whatever reason

I totally admire young mums and also single mums. I know how bloody hard it is when you have a quite well behaved child with a very supportive husband and family around you.

I also think that a lot of young Mums get put down my Mw's and Hv's for getting pregnant Young. My friend who is 21 has just celebrated her babies 1st birthday and is due to give birth to her 2nd son 2 weeks on Thursday!

When she went for her booking in appointment at 8 weeks her notes said she had a 20 week old son and the MW said that was obviously a mistake! Who would actively try and get pregnant when they already had a 3 month old and was so young herself! She even asked was she not given contraception advice at her 6 week postnatal check! Talk about patronising!

Xxx

 

[tiggerlix]

after reading all this thread.and also with the issue on my mind(has been for last few weeks)i am going to try breast feeding first, and no it doesnt bother me either that hospitals do not supply the formula anymore(il take my own).the one thing i really hope will not happen is to be made to feel guilty and a bad mother if it doesnt work out..Id expect support from both sides of what ever choice i make..all my 5 kids have more aless bottle fed..and i can assure you they were never over weight or behind in there growth or physical ability,infact i have an 11 yr old who is 3 yrs ahead in his academic studies..so i dont believe breast milk makes them more bright in the slightest.The reason i want to breast feed is to give my baby a good healthy start in life from my own milk although i know formula milk is just as good.also this is my last baby and id like to give it a shot as i will never have the chance again.

 

[izzysmummy]

Yes yes and YES!! my hospital already refuses to supply formula and I told them I might have issues with BF (inverted nipples a G/H cup sized breasts!) and the MW goes "We'll find a way" .....yeah great, but I said "well what if I can't and want to BF to which she rudely goes "Well you're going to have to bring your own"

I want to BF, just worried I will struggle, and if it's causing me or my baby too much stress I have voiced my opinion that I will happily switch to FF and will gladly return snide remarks on those who tell me I'm making a mistake or doing the wrong thing by my child.

I had massive boobs after my daughter was born, was an E/F prior to Milk coming in. I ended up buying Bravardo feeding bras which you will probably find great too, they are like a sports bra so have plenty of room and come in bigger sizes. I was wearing an XL size which i think was 38-42 E-G

For the first few weeks i couldn't even see my baby on the end of my boob, bless her, she was only a 6lb6oz dot at birth! The only thing i found i couldn;t do was just let her feed on her own, i had to use one of my hands to keep my breast shaped at all times as they were so big and heavy! Am hoping that this time after 4/5 months i will have lost enough weight for my boobs to be a more manageable size and be able to feed easier and not havin to hold my boob all the time. I also got a really good feeding pillow for support. Got it from Argos, it was abour £25.00 but is a small size and loads better than the big ones they suppy you with in hospital! xxx

 

[Dragonfly]

I have massive boobs to, not a prob. even people with small boobs can feed. dosnt matter what your size you can do it. Get a good bra for support!

Sad to see so many doubt their ability to breastfeed. trust your body.

 

[izzysmummy]

after reading all this thread.and also with the issue on my mind(has been for last few weeks)i am going to try breast feeding first, and no it doesnt bother me either that hospitals do not supply the formula anymore(il take my own).the one thing i really hope will not happen is to be made to feel guilty and a bad mother if it doesnt work out..Id expect support from both sides of what ever choice i make..all my 5 kids have more aless bottle fed..and i can assure you they were never over weight or behind in there growth or physical ability,infact i have an 11 yr old who is 3 yrs ahead in his academic studies..so i dont believe breast milk makes them more bright in the slightest.The reason i want to breast feed is to give my baby a good healthy start in life from my own milk although i know formula milk is just as good.also this is my last baby and id like to give it a shot as i will never have the chance again.

My friend is expecting her 4th child the same day as me. She has FF all her others and didn't even attempt to BF. She is really keen to give it a go this time as it is her last one and much cheaper! Lol

Out of all my friends and husbands friends i am the only one that has BF. My friend had her son in December and got off to a bad start and asked for my help. She is still feeding now and loves it! Everyone was really shocked to see me BF as they just assumed people don;t do it these days!

It also helps if baby is happy and wants to as well, and her son loves it! xx

 

[tiggerlix]

what kind of foods can you and cannot eat? will i be able to have a glass of wine? and whens best to start expressing
?
xx

 

[MikaylasMummy]

i was not for or against breastfeeding when i was pregnant..but after having my lo i really really wanted to give it a good go..i lost 2litres of blood while giving birth it took hours to stop the bleeding and she ended up in special care nursery with dehydration cos i "didnt have any milk"..noone has a tonne of milk straight away. but honestly if you give it a chance after a week or two it becomes a lot easier!!i truly beleive that after a few weeks if you are not bonding with your baby because of it then absoloutly give up a happy mum means a happy bub!
but i think a lot of people dont give it a good chance..i had quite a hard time and ended up with nipples almost falling off(a horrible sight!!)but then the midwife suggested nipple shields and in two weeks i was healed and it was second nature.
its so common for pregnant women to hear how horrible and hard it is and hear the horror stories and psych themselves out before trying!its a completely natural thing done since the beginning of time and women are not much different now to then!
sorry just my two cents..in no way am i implying anything against women who chose not too..just offering my opinion on why i think so many do =)

 

[Blah11]

I don't know anyone else in real life who have BF past 2 days and I have a lot of friends with babys. I don't know anyone who has ever BF as long as I have either LOL People are shocked about it but I think it's partly to do with the fact that I'm only 22.

 

[Blah11]

what kind of foods can you and cannot eat? will i be able to have a glass of wine? and whens best to start expressing
?
xx

Nothing really is off limits. Alcohol is fine, but its advised to leave 1hour gap per unit of alcohol you drink IYKWIM? You can express from 6 weeks onwards but it's a PITA. I take my hat off to those who exclusively express.