Feel so down

[Shady_R]

Im feeling really really down tonight, the only thing I can think that is causin this is I am worried about my anxiety getting really bad when the kids go back to school and I have to to take them, which means leaving the house with the kids, coming back on my own, possibly bumping into my neighbours.....One of my neighbours is just looking through me at the mo, even when I smile and say hi she just gives me evils.....Thats not the part that bothers me though, I just wish she would grow up, shes older than me and acts like a big kid.....I have suffered with anxiety when it omes to going out on my own for a few years, i have managed it quite well I think, but recently its picked up again and got worse....I cant go out on my own, and when I do because I have to I cant breath properly I get pains in my chest and all I wanna do cry and go home.....When I had my postnatal check up, my dr says I am suffering with pnd but slightly, which I feel has gotten better recently and also anxiety and that Im having anxiety attacks.......I saw my neighbours true colours a few weeks ago and to be honest it has sickened me.......But the thought that I have to leave the house on my own and possibly see them every morning is just making me feel really crap......Thing is if its not that I dont know what is making me feel so crap tonight, its that bad I cant bring myself to post, cause I just feel too sad to post......I think I hide my true feelings from people quite well, some people probably wouldnt even think there is anything wrong till I tell them, even then they would probably not believe me.......

So sorry for waffling......Just needed to get it off my chest, I know I can talk you all here.....

 

[Jennifaerie]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, please remember that you're a great person and deserve to be happy and repeat it to yourself if you do have to see them. Noone should have to feel like they can't take their kids to school. xxxx

We all have down days, I try to think in say a month, will it still feel the same way, and it won;t once you're used to taking them to school and possibly seeing your neighbours it won't feel so bad

 

[Missy.]

Big hugs hun Just ignore your neighbours, if you don't want to speak to them just walk straight past them. Once you start taking the kids to school again you'll soon get back into a routine, I know it's hard but it will get easier.

I do understand how you feel because I'm quite an anxious person and sometimes I feel nervous leaving the house but I force myself to do it because I don't want to get stuck in a rut. I worry about the slightest little thing and I know how much it can wear you down. If ever you need to talk to someone hun just PM me x

 

[samsugar7]

 

[Celesse]

 

[Shady_R]

Thank you all.....Im feeling a little better today.....Havent been anywhere today, have stayed in and got some housework done for a change.....I hate going out, i have to go out sometimes, get shopping done and a few other things, just not looking forward to school runs now.....Thankfully there is another way to walk so I dont have to bump into the neighbours......

Hopefully I will be ok Monday and the excitement from the boys for going back to school will distract me.....

 

[inkdchick]

i wish you all the best for monday hun, once oyu get into the routine of going to the school run you will be able to get yourself back on track and the rest will follow all good i promise , like i said in my email - i've been there and you will find your way xx

 

[RaspberryK]

That's crappy, rise above it all. You're better than them! Smile at them, they will be stunned and wont know what to do. If they say anything negative say something positive back. For example evil neighbour says "I hope you die" you say "oh well I hope you have a long and healthy life" - a bit extreme but you get the picture.

x

 

[Shady_R]

That's crappy, rise above it all. You're better than them! Smile at them, they will be stunned and wont know what to do. If they say anything negative say something positive back. For example evil neighbour says "I hope you die" you say "oh well I hope you have a long and healthy life" - a bit extreme but you get the picture.

x

Ha ha, that made me laugh....Yeah I usually do smile at them and stuff when they dont expect it, they really do hate it too, can see it in their face, I have even gone as far as to stand and talk to them when I know they dont want me to, but since having dd it has changed me slightly, well not me as such, but my way if thinking I suppose......I just really hate it when I get on a downer, but in all fairness, yesterday and today have both been good days.....

Thank you Inkdchick, Im sure I will get through this, I have beaten post natal depression once, was fairly bad too, I came through that once, Im sure I can beat it again, plus the anxiety......

 

[RaspberryK]

We all get down, I'm on a downer today but I'm glad you've had a couple of good days.

x

 

[Shady_R]

Well this morning went better than I thought it would, get very anxious before I left the house, so much so that I was getting very ratty and impatient.....I walked away from where I know everyone will stand chatting....I still had the panicky feeling all the way there which got worse when I go to the school, bumped into 2 of the people which I have fallen out with and really started to feel it then.......I could feel the looks I was getting from the one person, hated it, just wanted to run home but had to be strong and get my boys into school.....I got home, then went to my friends for a cuppa and a catch up as I hadnt seen her since before the holidays, even though she lives 30 odd doors away lol, but was nice to see her and have a good chat.....The rest of the day was pretty good, till tonight and Im feeling really crappy again just want to cry......I think the owrst of it is over for now....Roll on a few good days now......

Can I say a huge thank you to you all too, your all such a great support and help.......

 

[inkdchick]

aww hun things will get better you have to believe it i have been where you are now and it wont be easy but it will get better xx

 

[Shady_R]

Thanks hun, it really is sucha nightmare when your going through something like this.......I am constantly changing my mind about things, I cant make a decision lol......I think I have had a fairly good week this week, had a few wobblers through the week, Im sure there are plenty more to come, but taking it all a day at a time......Im hanging in there......

 

[inkdchick]

I completely know whole heartedly what it feels like and dont worry it will get better and thats the way to go and eventually one evening you finally realise that you have gone two days without any problems and then you will be back to your normal self xx

 

[Shady_R]

Yeah i am waiting on that now. Hopefully the way things are now they will stay like that. I can hope anyway. Lol. Thank you loads too for your support.

 

[inkdchick]

hey its not a problem if youve been there its easy to support someone else going through it, and everyday will ge better than the one before and sometimes you will go back a day but hey you know the good on the other side and it will give you soemthing to aim for and you have beautiful kids to get you on the right track xx hugs

 

[inkdchick]

you're not lonely hun change your mood im here for you xx

 

[Shady_R]

Yes I agree its easy to help someone when you have been through it yourself, I find myself always giving out advice and things to people who suffer pnd, I am also a voluntary counsellor, although I am not allowed to do any while I am going through a bad patch.....But thats good anyway as I dont have any ladies assigned to me at the mo.....Cant wait to get back to it......Yes I do have some gorgeous children that help me everyday, without them even knowing lol......

I have changed my mood thingy lol, forgot all about that lol......

 

[inkdchick]

hee hee good to see and yea when you get back to it it will help you too lots of love to ya and hugs xx

 

[Shady_R]

thank you hun. You have been a great help. Did i say i have started a keep fit class, its once a week, the 2 babies go into a creche and its all free. Fab or what. Im hoping now things keep going up the yay they are.