Im feeling really really down tonight, the only thing I can think that is causin this is I am worried about my anxiety getting really bad when the kids go back to school and I have to to take them, which means leaving the house with the kids, coming back on my own, possibly bumping into my neighbours.....One of my neighbours is just looking through me at the mo, even when I smile and say hi she just gives me evils.....Thats not the part that bothers me though, I just wish she would grow up, shes older than me and acts like a big kid.....I have suffered with anxiety when it omes to going out on my own for a few years, i have managed it quite well I think, but recently its picked up again and got worse....I cant go out on my own, and when I do because I have to I cant breath properly I get pains in my chest and all I wanna do cry and go home.....When I had my postnatal check up, my dr says I am suffering with pnd but slightly, which I feel has gotten better recently and also anxiety and that Im having anxiety attacks.......I saw my neighbours true colours a few weeks ago and to be honest it has sickened me.......But the thought that I have to leave the house on my own and possibly see them every morning is just making me feel really crap......Thing is if its not that I dont know what is making me feel so crap tonight, its that bad I cant bring myself to post, cause I just feel too sad to post......I think I hide my true feelings from people quite well, some people probably wouldnt even think there is anything wrong till I tell them, even then they would probably not believe me.......
So sorry for waffling......Just needed to get it off my chest, I know I can talk you all here.....