Fireflies TCC a rainbow baby

[steph.]

Sunshine I'm glad you avoided the ER. Hope it stays that way.

NDH it's normal to feel like that. I have two close friends who are pregnant, one with an accident, and I've been avoiding them since I found out about the mc. I'll have to see them this weekend am I'm dreading seeing their big bellies and hearing them complain about pregnancy. Then I feel bad that I'm feeling this way. I'm also trying really hard not to remember how far I'd be now if I hadnt mc the first and then the second time. I don't think I'll heal until I'm pregnant again.

 

[Sis4Us]

I agree w ever loss I get more and more Determined to get PG!! I think it too is the only way I will heal Fully!!

 

[steph.]

Are you having any testing Shanta? I'm see a fertility specialist next week and really looking forward to it, but partially really scared of what the tests will show. I'm hoping it's something easy to fix and not something that I'll have to wait before ttc again. When I was pregnant with dd2, the tech thought she saw a septum in the uterus, then the radiologist came in and said it wasn't, but now I'm wondering if she was right.

 

[Sis4Us]

I've had All testing under the sun I think mine is getting Chalked up to Age and egg quality also DH has Sperm issues!!
Plus I found out I have MTHFR after my 2nd MC!!
I got 2 natural BFPs last year but the one assisted made it to 6wks and a HB then I got strep!!
So I'm going to see a new FS that deals w recurrent loss hopefully she will have some ideas to help us!!

 

[mummy2o]

I've had All testing under the sun I think mine is getting Chalked up to Age and egg quality also DH has Sperm issues!!
Plus I found out I have MTHFR after my 2nd MC!!
I got 2 natural BFPs last year but the one assisted made it to 6wks and a HB then I got strep!!
So I'm going to see a new FS that deals w recurrent loss hopefully she will have some ideas to help us!!

I lost my son due to getting a virus (sepsis) so I can totally feel for you there. Its worse in my opinion, (although any miscarriage isn't easy) knowing that your/your body was at fault and was the reason you miscarried. Although I'm more or less over mine, I still look back and think why was it me who got sick. Its worse when I see over random pregnant people roughly the same duration as me when out and about.

Hope that hospital bill is unreal! Thank goodness for insurance if that's what's left after insurance. How long was your hospital stay? We have public health care here and while there's often out of pocket costs for things like scans and medications I didn't even end up having to pay for my two private scans as the hospital has an arrangement with the clinic they use not to charge for miscarriage related scans. I'm kind of curious for what it would have all cost for someone who didnt have medicare though. I went to emergency and had a scan and bloodork taken and then was given a referral to the early pregnanfybunit and went straight there and met with the midwife who gave me a referral for a private scan (since the emergency room ultrasound wasn't great quality and was an inconclusive result, but I knew it was bad news then when the Dr said "well I think I see what might be a gestational sac but it's still early days" and it had been 7 weeks since my positive pregnancy test.).
After the private scan I miscarried at home later that evening and then had 3 follow up appointments with the early pregnancy midwives and three lots of bloodwork and anoter private scan.

Sunshine I hope your clots stop and you've passed everything so don't develop complications. It sounds in the realm of normal to me, but better to go in and get checked out if you're at all concerned. There are definitely some scary stories out there (I have a couple of friends who hemmoraged following a miscarriage) but scary complications are really quite rare and Google just makes everything worst case scenario look far more common than it is. Though I guess okn one level it is kind of good tonbe aware of those things to know what to look out for.

Today is 8 weeks since my loss. I would have been 18+3 today. I've officially known there's no baby for longer than I knew there was a baby. Its hard but I'm doing OK. Its also difficult because my sister is having her first baby literally any day now. I'm excited for her but also dealing with jealous that she's having a baby and I'm not, and that she also got pregnant first month trying (on her honeymoon) after years on birth control, wheras I had never been on birth control and took nearly 3 years to conceive my first daughter after my first pregnancy ended up in a loss. And then I hate that I el any thing but joy for her.

I'm so sorry that your sister is due any day now and I know this time isn't easy for you. But think of your beautiful niece or nephew you'll have and you'll be totally smitten with him/her. I know it will still be painful, I've got a few good friends due around my due date in April-June so there they are parading their lovely bumps and its like a kick in the face. It will get easier once s/he's here though.

AFM its going really well. I forgot our swimming gear yesterday for our mummy and baby swimming group yesterday, still went to the pool, even the changing room then thought damn. So we just went shopping instead. Luckily she loves shopping so was pretty happy not going. I had tons of CM flowing out of me last night. So not sure if that's a good sign as well as my usual 5dpo implantation drop in temperature. Compared to my old cycles I've always had one then when I get a BFP, but I don't want to read to much into it in case its my new norm.

 

[Love4you]

It's hard enough to lose the baby but then having to wait forever for the hcg to leave your system, plus waiting on your cycle to regulate...it's just all around a sucky situation.
I'm like you girls. I'm obsessed with when I can try again. Obviously it won't be too soon as I can't get pregnant when I still have those positive hpt's mocking me.
Plus I feel like the first trimester is forever ruined. Of course we were anxious before our losses but now we'll be nervous wrecks.
I feel for you ladies with more than one loss. It's so hard and I don't know if I can go through that again.
But I so want/need another baby.
I'm hoping we can try again in Feb as long as my body gets with the program.

 

[Love4you]

Hope you ladies are all doing well today. I'm okay. I'm having crsmps again now and more clots, but not huge like yesterday. I'm not sure if I should be concerned or it's normal. It hasn't been all day, in fact is was pretty light this morning. But the cramps started up about an hour ago.

I passed the huge clots as well as the baby all in about 12 hours. The bleeding and cramping slowed down for a day or 2 then picked back up again.
Turned out I had a small piece of placenta stuck in my cervix. The OB manually removed it (ouch) then gave me more misoprostol to finish the process.
I bled like a light period for a free more days then spotted about a week,
So just about 2 weeks in all.
Be sure to get a follow up scan to make sure everything is gone.
(Hugs)

 

[Love4you]

Sorry, this is going to be a me post. I will read everything else a little later. Just feeling like an absolute mess right now. Today is the one month anniversary of the passing of Little Bean. And it's as if these menstrual cramps want to commemorate the tragic occurrence by being almost as bad as they were during the miscarriage! Not only that, but I just got a bill from the hospital for $851.81 (for the services provided to me and Little Bean). Now I just feel extra sad and emotional.

The bill from the hospital also gets me down because I am a new grad who has been looking for a job (I'm a physician assistant), but don't have one yet. I interviewed at one job, but still waiting to hear back from it and that got me all bummed today as well. My husband has an excellent job, so it's not like we are in financial trouble, but I hate that I cannot contribute to anything right now!

I was going to go to a track workout tonight, but have decided to back out since my body is miserable and so is my mind right now. Which just adds to the negative emotions I'm feeling right now.

Self-pity party over. Just had to get it all off my chest.

Going to see if cleaning this apartment doesn't help me feel a little better and then I'll be back to check on you all.

(Hugs)
I think this is the perfect place for self-pity. We've all suffered a terrible loss and venting out our emotions is necessary.
It's hard to talk about these things with people who haven't had losses.
So vent away!
My co-worker and I were both due at the same time. She's still pregnant. And wearing fitted shirts to show her tiny bump. I kinda hate her a little. I know that's awful but I'm feeling kind of bitter at the moment.
So I understand where you're coming from.
It'll get better. I have hope 😊

 

[steph.]

Love4you a mc definitely ruins the 1st trimester. I lost my first pregnancy and when I was pregnant with dd1 there was no excitement, I kept waiting for the mc to happen. With dd2 it was the same, then at the 13w scan they thought she had a very high chance of downs, so had an amnio, and finally got the all clear at 17 weeks. A very long few months. Then with the chem I was really excited...I had 2 pregnancies that went well so I was feeling confident. Only yo start bleeding a few days later. With the last pregnancy I never got excited, and despite it ending at 7 w it was easier to go through than the chem as I never let myself believe it.

Atm the bleeding is ending, only spotted today so a total of 6days which is just like a normal period length for me. I want to ttc straight away but a part of me thinks maybe we should wait until the tests come back. I dont know...I want to be pregnant NOW

 

[ajarvis]

This is definitely the place for self pity!

Those of you waiting for HCG to leave your system how do you know? HPT or blood tests? I find it curious. My midwife is more of a natural approach. Everything passed. Now wait a cycle and try again.

We are supposed to be waiting a month, but we're bad at the birth control thing. twice we've used nothing. Once pull out. I haven't ovulated yet though. So I think we're good so far Well I don't think I've ovulated - based on temping.

 

[Sis4Us]

Mommy20 yes getting sick makes it even harder my FS insists it was due to the Strep or Antibiotics but on my 6wk scan Baby measured 5days behind which was the day I started meds!! Can't tell me it wasn't that!! Makes it even harder when your LO gave u the Strep!!

 

[sunshine2014]

Checking in ladies. We're headed on a road trip today. I'm much better today. Last night after my contractions I decided to wait until 8pm then go to ER. Luckily they stopped at 7am. I was so happy. Tmi but DH checked and my cervix is closed. So hoping everything is done for real. Slept amazing. 10 hours. Feel like myself again.

So ready to try again but will wait for next cycle as I have no idea where I am obviously lol. Also thinking of naming My little babe since I saw it. I feel good that I did, like it's somehow special between he/she and me.

Hope you are all wonderful and staying warm. I will check in tonight. So exciting to see some are possibly O'ing again. I feel good things with this group. 2015 will be the year!

 

[ajarvis]

So glad you're feeling better Sunshine!

Love4you I too really want/need another baby. More than I ever knew. I was mainly pregnant last time cause Fiance wanted one and I thought it'd be nice to have 3. Not cause I felt that need. Now I need to have another one. I just want to be pregnant!

 

[CelticNiamh]

Are you having any testing Shanta? I'm see a fertility specialist next week and really looking forward to it, but partially really scared of what the tests will show. I'm hoping it's something easy to fix and not something that I'll have to wait before ttc again. When I was pregnant with dd2, the tech thought she saw a septum in the uterus, then the radiologist came in and said it wasn't, but now I'm wondering if she was right.

Steph I want to get that checked again just in case there is a septum there

I've had All testing under the sun I think mine is getting Chalked up to Age and egg quality also DH has Sperm issues!!
Plus I found out I have MTHFR after my 2nd MC!!
I got 2 natural BFPs last year but the one assisted made it to 6wks and a HB then I got strep!!
So I'm going to see a new FS that deals w recurrent loss hopefully she will have some ideas to help us!!

I hope she does have some idea that can help, but have you thought about Q10 it improves egg quality and zinc, selenium and Maca is good for mens swimmers every little helps anyway

Mommy20 yes getting sick makes it even harder my FS insists it was due to the Strep or Antibiotics but on my 6wk scan Baby measured 5days behind which was the day I started meds!! Can't tell me it wasn't that!! Makes it even harder when your LO gave u the Strep!!

Try not to be hard on yourself some things are out of our control I was thinking about it the other night and I had a colonoscopy on the 30 of October then my sister rang me to say her step kids had worms so we took the tablets just in case now I am wondering was it gone enough before I ovulated and got pregnant

I have to agree I am feeling ok but hoping I ovulate soon so I can get busy and hopefully get lucky bring on the TWW

 

[TinyLynne]

Hello Ladies,

I've been reading through these posts and I think this is the group I am looking for. These posts pretty much touch on everything I am feeling:

TTC#1, on cycle 3 my husband and I got our BFP, unfortunately only to end 9 days later, on my husbands birthday. I felt like I shouldn't have been as upset as I was, but we had wanted it so badly. My husband is a very calm person and doesn't get upset much, so seeing him not even able to talk about it to anyone was really hard and I felt awful.

I thought my cycle would be normal again right after, I didn't think that having a mc so early (not even 5 weeks) would have this kind of effect. I am very regular 32/33 day cycle, O on CD21. My OPKs this month initially indicated that would be the same, but it did not happen. OPKs turned negative with no BBT shift. Then became positive after with a slow rise shift sowing O to be 2 days late. At 8DPO started spotting, again today, so I know this is AF (though with my symptoms 3 days ago I would have bet on me being pregnant) so my cycle length is the same, but my LP was cut short. I am afraid I may have a luteal phase defect. Any suggestions on how to fix this? Even before the chemical, my LP was 11-12 days, but I spot for a few days before. Please help. Sorry this is so long. I appreciate your time!

 

[CelticNiamh]

Hello Ladies,

I've been reading through these posts and I think this is the group I am looking for. These posts pretty much touch on everything I am feeling:

TTC#1, on cycle 3 my husband and I got our BFP, unfortunately only to end 9 days later, on my husbands birthday. I felt like I shouldn't have been as upset as I was, but we had wanted it so badly. My husband is a very calm person and doesn't get upset much, so seeing him not even able to talk about it to anyone was really hard and I felt awful.

I thought my cycle would be normal again right after, I didn't think that having a mc so early (not even 5 weeks) would have this kind of effect. I am very regular 32/33 day cycle, O on CD21. My OPKs this month initially indicated that would be the same, but it did not happen. OPKs turned negative with no BBT shift. Then became positive after with a slow rise shift sowing O to be 2 days late. At 8DPO started spotting, again today, so I know this is AF (though with my symptoms 3 days ago I would have bet on me being pregnant) so my cycle length is the same, but my LP was cut short. I am afraid I may have a luteal phase defect. Any suggestions on how to fix this? Even before the chemical, my LP was 11-12 days, but I spot for a few days before. Please help. Sorry this is so long. I appreciate your time!

Hello and welcome and so sorry for a short LP take vitamin B complex it was working for me before I got my Positive as with breast feeding my LP was 5 days then increased when I started vitamin B complex you need one 10 days or more I think

 

[Sis4Us]

Celtic I take Ubiquinol it's the pure form of Cq10!! Also DH take vitamins when I give them to him that's how we got the 2 natural BFPs!!

Zinc makes us both sick he has Fertility Blend but I have to give them to him after he's Asleep or he gets sick!!

I try not to be Hard on myself it's just hard my Bday is in Lil over a month and I will be 39 so my time is running short!! Another Bday w no baby !!

Welcome tiny

 

[CelticNiamh]

Celtic I take Ubiquinol it's the pure form of Cq10!! Also DH take vitamins when I give them to him that's how we got the 2 natural BFPs!!

Zinc makes us both sick he has Fertility Blend but I have to give them to him after he's Asleep or he gets sick!!

I try not to be Hard on myself it's just hard my Bday is in Lil over a month and I will be 39 so my time is running short!! Another Bday w no baby !!

Welcome tiny

I think you told me that before

 

[NDH]

Welcome Lynn. Sorry or your loss.

Amanda I would have liked to have been left alone. The early pregnancy clinic I was referred to by ER has a policy though to track every loss to <2 to confirm its complete and they ordered me weekly blood tests for thee weeks starting 4 days after the mc. I was satisfied after the repeat scan that it had all passed, and my hcg got down to 25 (I took a hpt between each set of bloodwork and guessed the number to within 5 units for the last two) and I no longer wished to have further bloods taken. I told the midwife but she insisted that I had to as it was policy and gave me another lab referral which I said I would probably not use. In that week after my third labs before my fourth was supposed to be I continued to use hpts until I got a negative, and then the morning on what should have been my 4th lot of bloods got a positive so was really decided not to get the bloodwork cause I didn't want them getting involved in another pregnancy, so I simply didn't go and then spent a week ignoring their phone calls cause I wasn't in the mood for a lecture and then 4 days later was experiencing a chemical.

 

[ajarvis]

Oh wow NDH that sounds horrible. I hate how some of them feel like they can make you do what they want, and then they make you feel like you have to listen. They seem to forget who is in charge!