i've been tossing and turning for the last hour and a half and finally just gave up and got up. it's 5am.
i am a worrier and an overthinker, so bear with me as i type out all the crazy thoughts racing through my brain:
i started the december group on the PAL boards because 1) i knew i would be FREAKING out (if not now, at some point) and, selfishly, am going to need the support from people who "get it" and 2) i was in a non-PAL pregnancy group before and there were something like 70 people! obviously, not all of them posted, but the group was so big that it was hard to keep anyone straight (as if i didn't already have trouble! ha!) so figured the PAL group would be smaller and, a bit easier to manage adding people to the front page and just keeping up in general. it felt somewhat "safe" still.
last time, i had also joined a couple other "graduate" threads created by women who were in a ttc group together, or at some point in the same ttc group, as a continuation of the ttc thread, in the pregnancy forums. i loved both the monthly groups AND the "i used to be ttc but i made it over here!" graduate groups. they sort of served different purposes, both needed, in my mind. the graduate groups for me were harder to feel a "part" of because i was, for some reason, always on the tail end of joining and, even though the women in the groups were super welcoming, they were also farther ahead of me (sometimes up to 6-7 months ahead). i felt like the general conversation/worries/fears/excitements/etc. was way beyond where i was, nervous in very early first-trimester, so i usually followed along but also visited the monthly group for more "this is where i am right now, anyone else there right now too?" kind of support. probably because of that space and bit of distance, the graduate groups i used to be in are the ones i can actually go back and read once a week or so to see how people are doing, whereas the monthly one is harder.
the general consensus on this thread (as i see it
) is that we should create a "graduates" type pregnancy group...? i would totally be in favor of that. AND suggest a title along the lines of "Fireflies turned Butterflies" (i too was not even a firefly
) with an awesome rainbow butterfly as the group logo.
i don't want anyone to feel like they are being left out of left behind (dear god, i feel like that every time someone i've really connected with on here gets a positive hpt
) and want anyone from this thread to feel welcome in that group.
that all being said, i'm not sure *i'm* the person to run that thread. SO, i've decided to leave the December group as the December 2015 group and i throw it back out there to someone who would be willing to run a Firefly "graduate" thread to do that, when they feel comfortable. until then, i think we're all stuck here, together!
(oh darn!
)
phew, okay, thanks for letting me get that all out. i hope no one is offended or annoyed or whatever...i hate inconveniencing other people, but having thought about it all night, this is my plan.
i'm trying to be more assertive (and fight the voice in my head that says it's bitchy
) and to make decisions and follow through without worrying or feeling guilty (clearly not got the "not worrying or feeling guilty" part down just yet
). anyway, thanks for letting me practice.