First ivf march 2014! Please join me!

[bunyhuny]

@Peachy- I feel like my clinic stimmed me too fast, too, but they refuse to cut down the dosage. I just feel like, for me, only getting 8 eggs out of 25 follicles after only 8 days of stimming...., well, there has to be something wrong. First cycle I had 18 follies, 18 eggs, but I was 30 lbs heavier then- and my doctor refuses to lower the dose now that I've lost all that weight. As far as taking a break, I know you are right. I really do, and I so need you to be that voice of reason if that's what ends up happening. It is just hard because when we go back to the US we have to live in the stupid, tiny 375 sq ft RV. I miss having a home so badly. I just wish that I could have my yard and trees and my craft room and office back. I miss my job so bad, but I just can't work as a childbirth educator and doula right now- not with IF in full swing, I just can't do it. It's just so hard not having a life to go back to, not being able to afford to live near where our friends are, not having family we're close to. I guess taking time off of TTC isn't just taking time off, it's going back to having no life at all for three months- and I'm absolutely terrified of that. No job, no money to take any classes or anything, no friends nearby. At least here I have IVF, at home I have nothing. I'm just so terribly depressed when I'm back in the US. I just sit at home all day. There's no stability at all. And to keep costs down we have to keep moving to a new place that is out of season, so there's no stability to join anything even if I found a way to do it. I'm so sorry for letting all this out. I'm not doing a good job of dealing with things today at all.

@lanet- I am sending you so many good wishes for a BFP your first cycle AND a bunch of frosties to freeze for later. We all deserve our sticky beans.

 

[bunyhuny]

Congrats, Red. Those are beautiful numbers. I hope you have a wonderful u/s!

 

[lanet]

Red those numbers are perfect!
Buny that's heartbreaking! I can't imagine having to give up my home I'm so sorry. Do you stay in a hotel in Prague? What are the plans for after you have your bfp? Will you be able to get a house then? It's just not fair what we have to go through. I can understand being depressed, any chance you can park that rv on a warm beach when you go back I can't imagine having to go right into another cycle. Has your dr replied to your emails yet?
Peachy you should have some info soon...

 

[bunyhuny]

lanet- Still no response from my doctor. I really wish she'd email me. Our lease runs out in a week and a half and I need to know if she is going to want to start a new cycle now of wait a cycle. If she wants to wait, we need to get out of this passport zone to save up days. That means booking plane tix, and I don't want to book them at the very last minute. No matter what, I have to be back in the US my the beginning of May for my little sister's graduation.

While we're in Prague we rent an apartment off of AirBnB. It costs about the same as renting a small house in the US and lower than our mortgage payment was when we had a house. We have to rent by the month to get the cheap rate, otherwise the nightly rates are awful. It's actually not bad. We leave our RV at a friends house while we're here so there is no $600/month lot fee, just the $250 mortgage fee. (Yeah, RV's have 30 year mortgage-like loans, not vehicle ones. So weird.)

Once we get a BFP, we're going to get an apartment somewhere while we work on paying off our IVF debt. I'm also going to go back to work once I get to second tri. Once IVF debts are paid, we need to work on paying down student loans and then finally saving up on a down payment for a new house. I miss my old house so, so much. DH wants to find a new job, right now he really hates the company he's with but he's staying with them because they let him web-commute. But once we're into that second trimester, he'll be able to start looking for something new. We have so many plans for out future and I am so ready to be at that place. Sometimes I think if the next cycle fails I may just take a year off from TTC just to see if we can get to a happier place. Then I think I don't know if I could give up, even if just for a year.

I just so hope next cycle works. I want to get back to the US and start working on rebuilding my life.

 

[lanet]

Wow Buny it sounds sounds like you have wonderful future plans and I'm sure you can't wait to get them started. Your life truly is on hold right now and that's so hard. I'm the opposite kind of. We bought our dream house 2 years ago and I have that baby room just sitting there empty. Sometimes I go in there and imagine where I will put the crib etc but other than that we haven't done anything with it. I don't even dare paint it. I'm waiting for that happy moment!
Peachy...any news yet?

 

[Breaking Dawn]

Lancet..bunny

Our story is that we have a beautiful house with room for little ones and even a huge backyard space.

Just waiting to make one of the rooms into a baby room....

 

[mononoke]

Hi Red - those are awesome numbers...I was going to say you must be having twins I remember they only transfer one to you ...but then again you can't discount the possibility of identical...When I had my beta on the 7d5dt, mine was only 33 and on the 9d5dt it was 104..and I was carrying twins then....Congratulations!

Buny - I am so sorry for your BFN...when are you getting your beta? considering you had a 3dt, can you rule out by now a late implantation. With this pregnancy, I POAS on 5dp5dt and it was negative...then on my beta I was positive with twins.

Peachy - Its weird that your RE is not giving you any info about the progress of your embies...but I am assuming they are doing well. So you are doing a 5dt since today is Wednesday and they didn't call you for transfer - must be a good sign..FX'd.

Weather is crazy, yesterday it was hot and nowmy hubby told me that it will be below zero...whooaa in California???

AFM - I'm starting to show a little bump and morning sickness is gone and getting my energy back. I swear I can feel this baby moving already at 13 weeks...I don't even know if that is possible at all but then again this is my third.

 

[lanet]

Mono I hope you're right about peachy, I thought they were going to call her either way today, I was getting worried. Speaking of your bump, I went shopping today, I needed some spring/summer tops to wear to work so I can stop wearing black all the time, and each thing I got could easily cover a small bump too. The styles being longer and flowy, so I'm all set for that bfp. And I'm all set to cover this 10lb weight gain that isn't going anywhere...not do I have the energy to try to get it off. So exciting that you are feeling movement already!!!
Breaking we also have a beautiful backyard and garden. And 5 bedrooms when we only use 2. I can't wait to fill them all up.

 

[Peachy1584]

Sorry I took so long and will comment on everything that's been said later I am still at work. Yes I am doing a 5dt on Sat. Retrieval is considered 0 so Thurs would be day 3. That's all they said was Sat and gave me my instructions. I really wish someone would have told me at least how many fertilized. Very frustrating but something must be going right for now I guess.

 

[lanet]

Yay yay yay for a 5 day transfer! So happy for you!

 

[Seoul]

Bunny- I hope your RE gets back to you soon.

Peachy- Yay for a 5dt. I hope Saturday gets here soon and you can hear your report and be PUPO

Red- Those are great numbers! Congratulations! Can't wait to hear all about your first U/S.

Mono- that is exciting your feeling little flutters already.

 

[bunyhuny]

Peachy- 5dt means you have a good number of healthy embies. That's great!

AFM- RE finally messaged back. She'd been out of town. We're going in for a beta today and a newcycle consult on Friday. I'm really glad she got back to me and we'll be finding out our plan of action tomorrow.

Before IVF, DH and I had a 3br ranch home with a huge detatched workshop on a couple acres of land in the most beautiful part of Colorado you'll ever see. 2 dogs, a cat, a flock of Silkies (the cutest chickens ever). We had the most amazing livingroom- floor to ceiling windows wrapping around and a view of the most beautiful fields, ours out one side, and out the long side, the field across the street with horses running to and fro. I miss it so much!

DH's family has taken in our cat and DH's dog for now, and a friend of mine's mother watches my older dog while we're out of the country. DH has a Husky, and they can't live in RV's, just wouldn't be right with how much space the breed needs, and our cat is an outdoor cat, so we have to wait until we own our own home again to get them back.I've had my cat for 7 years. I really wish I could cuddle her right now. Her purring makes everything a little less rough.

 

[Peachy1584]

Red amazing beta woo-hoo!

Mono I don't think it's so much about the beginning number with twins it's how fast it goes up. Like singles will double or a little more but lots of times a normal twin pregnancy may triple.

I honestly don't know how to feel right now and maybe some of it is because I don't know anything. I want to be excited for a 5dt but that's what I had last time and well it didn't work out. I know how the numbers work and it could go either way.

 

[Peachy1584]

Buny you are in a situation that I don't envy.. I am scared for you because a person can only take so much, a couple can only take so much. Make sure you let each other know ever day how much you love one another and how very much you appreciate the sacrifices the other has made. Even under the best circumstances ivf can be impossible and you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Taking a break is not quitting and it's not giving up. It's taking time to live. I know that living in such a small space must be inconvenient at the very least but maybe there is a way to make it easier. Being somewhere warm with lots of outdoor space,having furniture outside and a tv just so you don't feel claustrophobic. I hope tomorrow goes well for you and you get some things figured out.

 

[bunyhuny]

Peachy- I wish they would just give you the embryo numbers to put your mind at ease. I can't imagine why they don't tell you what's going on. But 5dt are the best and so much more likely to work than 3dt. I really feel good for this cycle for you. Them saying for sure you'll do a 5dt means your embies are looking great! Keeping you in my thoughts, hunny.

 

[redbrick80]

Buny - So much going on with you, you are a very unselfish and strong woman. I really commend you and your DH on everything you are doing.

Peachy - Yes!!!!!!!!!!! to the 5dt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have everything crossed for you. I have a good feeling about this cycle for you!

Lanet - I'm dying to go shopping too. I've gained about 5 lbs since the start of stims and I don't think it will go away. It's still freezing here and we got a ton of snow yesterday, so I will still have lots of time to wear winter clothes. Won't have much for the summer though.

Mono- Twins would be nuts. We did only transfer one, my Dr said there is only a 1% chance that it would split. Yay for flutters, that is awesome!

 

[Peachy1584]

For any of you ladies that have had or will have a 3dt I don't think it's any less of a chance of pregnancy. I think more with day 5 is that you have more that are growing at the same rate so letting them go further makes it easier to identify the best ones to transfer back. I know too many women that only had 2 on day 3 that looked good for transfer and ended up with twins or even had none make it to day 5 or any to freeze that had beautiful healthy babies. I just don't want anyone to feel bad or worry because they transfer on day 3 because honestly most women I know do.

 

[Peachy1584]

Red I am sorry if I missed it but are you doing more betas or are you onto u/s. When does spring normally arrive for you?

 

[redbrick80]

Red I am sorry if I missed it but are you doing more betas or are you onto u/s. When does spring normally arrive for you?

We are in Toronto so spring usually comes in March and April....not happening this year. We have so much snow. Ultrasound is March 24th !

I agree with you on the transfer days. Many, many. many healthy babies come from 3 day transfers!

 

[tulip1975]

Sorry I took so long and will comment on everything that's been said later I am still at work. Yes I am doing a 5dt on Sat. Retrieval is considered 0 so Thurs would be day 3. That's all they said was Sat and gave me my instructions. I really wish someone would have told me at least how many fertilized. Very frustrating but something must be going right for now I guess.

Good luck Peachy! If they are waiting until Day 5, it sounds like a good report. Although, it's unfair for them not to tell you what is happening.