First ivf march 2014! Please join me!

[Peachy1584]

Seoul that's awesome everything has worked out and it's happening so quick!

Kay yes that would be a lovely scenario..

Lanet with my fet I had to do the PIO the whole time but my RE said if you get prego on fresh there isn't a need for so long because you're body was already planning on pregnancy with retrieval being ovulation etc. Did they tell you it would be that long?

Afm it really doesn't look good. Still very light maybe even lighter. Honestly though this is why we paid for the warranty program. If my RE learns from this cycle and makes a few changes to the next I would be hopeful for an even better cycle with embryos good enough to freeze. My body is obviously perfectly fine with being pregnant we just need the right embryo(s). That being said paying for the meds again and cycling again will suck but either way I will be ok : ). Beta is Tues and Thurs next week so I will probably still test every morning unless there is no line left to see.

 

[lanet]

Well peachy I'm hoping for a darker line tomorrow. It really is still early and could still be low. I'm glad you're feeling ok with things either way though. I have a weird good feeling about this for you though.
My dr did say I would continue for 10 weeks. However, my progesterone has always been good so maybe it's something they can test and then take me off of early. Either way is fine. I'll take it if I have to. I'd probably be afraid to stop it

 

[Peachy1584]

Yeah I thought I would be afraid to stop too. I think I would be ocd with making them keep testing it : )

 

[lanet]

Actually the Prometrium is $298 for 20 days worth. I winder why insurance doesn't cover it but they cover estradiol?

 

[lanet]

I just called Walgreens and they said if I didn't have insurance it would only have been $189. I swear I get screwed for having insurance that doesn't cover anything.

 

[Peachy1584]

How does that even make sense? If you don't have insurance you pay cost so how could they raise it because you do?

 

[lanet]

They give you a discount if you don't have insurance, but since they had to run it to cover the antibiotics, steroids, etc, and my insurance covered $27 dollars of it, they have to accept it. She said next time I can just refill it without insurance.

 

[Peachy1584]

That is ridiculous!

 

[bunyhuny]

Hey ladies. How is everyone? Sorry for not being on much, I'm just so friggin stressed out for some reason. No idea why. Wait, maybe it's because I'm totally losing faith in my doctor. This is our third cycle of IVF and she's keeping me on the exact same dose of the exact same meds. She's given me no answer for why last cycle went so badly, and she's not answering any of my questions about why they are not doing any more testing. (Like they don't monitor ANY of my hormone levels during my cycle- just one u/s on CD 8 unless I pretty much beg for an u/s on CD6.) I've lost 30 lbs since my first IVF, last cycle I responded horribly to the dose they had me on, and now I'm back on it again! So pissed off.

I finally convinced my RE to let me go back on the Metformin even though she tried to tell me I didn't need it even though the Prednisone was spike my fasting blood sugar up over 100. It took it getting up to 116 before she said, okay get back on it. (My normal fasting is 76-88.) I'm so tired of having to make sure she's paying attention to what is going on! The only reason she even found out about this is because I am checking my blood sugar everyday because I read that Prednisone can cause insulin resistance. Even though she KNOWS I used to be insulin resistant she hasn't checked my blood sugar ONCE.

I am so sorry to rant, ladies. I am just getting pissed off. To top it all off I found out a few days ago that we get charged 10% more simply because we are foreign. WTF? That means over all our cycles, we've ended up spending an extra $2000 just for not being from here!!! Omg- they KNOW how expensive this all it, and they're just cashing in on people who get desperate enough for a baby that they leave their homes to do it!

Finally, I have no idea what to do with my meds:

I start stims tomorrow: 300 units of Gonal-F a day. I ask my RE if maybe we should change the dose or the medication or anything since last cycle was so horrible. She said no, it's all just LUCK. (This is when I finally said well at least let me start back on Metformin like I was on first cycle, because I'm really worried about my health with this Prednisone spiking my sugar!!!)

Well, RE said okay to the Metformin, so I'm hoping that is enough of a change to help things along. I also told her I was getting back on all of my PCOS supplements that I had been taking my first cycle even if she doesn't think they help. Well, I got pregnant that first cycle- so SOMETHING went right. If she's not going to adjust anything then the best I can do it just get back on what I was taking then.

Anyway, I had read recently that some doctor split up the Gonal-F dose into twice a day because they think that it can mean healthier eggs, or at least less empty follicles. Since half my follicles were empty last cycle, I decided to ask my RE about it. So instead of telling me which way to do it, my RE said I can take it all in one shot or divide it up into an AM and a PM shot of 150 each. That it really doesn't matter to her and, once again, "It is all up to what want to do." SERIOUSLY?

Then I said, okay, well do you want me to start in the morning or evening. And again she said, "Whatever you want." OMG! She said to just message her when AF arrives. So today I messaged her telling her exactly when my period started and please to tell me when to start the meds, and she never even bothered to e-mail me back!

So now I don't know when to take my meds, or in what doses. She never bothered to schedule any u/s's for the next week, plus she's even going to be out of town on Wed-Sun (CD5-9!) and she STILL hasn't even given me the e-mail addres to the head RE who is supposed to be taking over for her while she's away!!!

I'm tempted to start meds tomorrow night, since AF started in the afternoon today, but then if I do that and do a split dose then the dose gets split between two days and that is just all sorts of messed up.

I could seriously just cry right now. I just want to know what to do!

So question:

Does anyone know anything about how splitting the dose affects follicle/egg development? Does anyone know anything about what time to take stims? Can anyone give me a little guidance???

DH and I have decided this will be out last time doing a fresh cycle with this clinic. You ladies are right- I want an RE who can tell me what to do and back it up with sound reasoning and reassurance that it is correct. And if I have questions, I want an RE who will actually answer them! So, we're going to be moving to NYC when we get back- whether DH gets the new job or not. If he doesn't get the current one, he'll just keep looking until he finds one with IVF insurance. And if I'm not pregnant when we leave here, DH and I are looking at starting IVF at a local clinic there in the fall once we have our current IVF debts paid off.

Ya'll are right. I am not a doctor. I did not go to school for this. We are dropping $8,000 on this cycle- which may be cheaper than a lot of places, but it is still a TON of money. I should be getting more than a few boxes of meds, a single u/s before EC, and an embryologist who somehow killed all my ICSI embryos the first time around and then only gave me one embryo out of 8 eggs last cycle.

I don't care how high their success rates are. If it doesn't work this time, we're going somewhere else.

 

[bunyhuny]

I just called Walgreens and they said if I didn't have insurance it would only have been $189. I swear I get screwed for having insurance that doesn't cover anything.

I had this happen with my first RE. In the middle of our third medicated cycle (first IUI cycle), I found out he had a separate price list for u/s, iui, meds, etc, for people with and without insurance. With my crappy insurance I had been paying $170 for my trigger instead of the $60 they charged people without insurance. Same went for my u/s's. We cancelled our two IUI inseminations for that cycle with them and did them at home ourselves with the guidance of my midwife (the local lab washed DH's sperm for us). RE wanted to charge us $3000 for each IUI procedure, one at 24 hours and one at 48, which we would have had to pay for OOP because my insurance doesn't cover IUI. At the same time, he was charging non-insured people $2500 TOTAL for both!

 

[lanet]

I'll respond properly later bc I'm busy doing my nieces hair but Buny I would really be careful putting yourself through all of this without a proper dr doing proper monitoring. Those hormones are checked for good reason and cycles are cancelled when they are off. I think it would be worth the money to have one good cycle than pay for many at a place that isn't giving you the care you need. It is not all luck. Maybe a percentage, but the dr plays a big part. I hate that you're going through this and they arent giving you proper care. I would be very concerned. As for the doses, I take follistim in am and menapur in pm. So I'm not sure about splitting the doses. I'm worried for you and what you're going through though. I think it's irresponsible of the dr to keep putting you through back to back cycles without giving your poor body a break, and not even monitor or change anything. I'm sorry if this seems harsh but you need an advocate right now bc we get so blinded by our desire.

 

[bunyhuny]

From what I understand, it is the way all the clinics in this country do things, not just her. At first I thought it was kind of cool that they could do it all so simply, but now I'm starting to think it's just stupid. They just don't monitor hormones and always just do an antagonist (non-hcg) trigger to prevent OHSS if there are more than a certain number of follicles. No hcg = no OHSS. And if the follicles are punctured in a certain way during retrieval, they're dead by the time implantation occurs, so OHSS isn't really possible. Turns out that's why I'm on such a high dose of progesterone after retrieval (200mg 3xday). My body apparently doesn't make any of its own the way they do things here.

My RE is going out of town on Wednesday and she's told me she's handing my file to the head RE at the clinic for while she is out of town. He is the doctor I wanted when I came out here; I didn't ask for the RE I have. The head RE is absolutely fantastic, has a great track record, is well trained, and is very experienced. I'm going to push to have an u/s with him as soon as my current RE is gone and I will see if he will take over for the rest of this cycle.

I talked to DH and I think I will start stims tomorrow evening and do a split dose. When they compare split dose to single dose, no study I've been able to find says that single dose is better, they all say split, so might as well. I know I do fine health-wise at this many units a day, so at worst, I just won't get pregnant.

But ya'll are right, I need a new RE. When I got pregnant last year I bled the entire pregnancy, just day after day- red w/clots and everything, and my RE refused to do any tests at all to even try to figure out what was going on. All she said was u/s looks fine, stop worrying. After looking at all the information I can find, I really believe I had a progesterone deficiency, especially now that I know more about her trigger protocol. I wasn't even told my triggers weren't hCG or that they were doing a different kind of retrieval. I had to figure it out myself when I started researching meds and progesterone doses. Had I know what they were doing that first cycle, I feel like I may have been able to do something to prevent the miscarriage.

The real difficulty is all the meds besides my Gonal-F are made by different people and named different things in this country. Like I don't take Lupron, I take something called Orgalutran. For progesterone I take Utrogestan. It's all stuff I can't easily figure out just by looking on BnB or at english-speaking websites and my doctor really doesn't explain much.

Okay, I'm going to stop ranting. It probably isn't healthy. Need to be positive this cycle.

So here is the good news of the day: DH found out today that his company is being acquired. The new company wants to own them outright, so they're offering to pay for all employee stock options. This is great news, because DH was going to lose all his options if he changed jobs because the current company is still a couple years out from going public. After taxes, we should be getting a lump sum of $12,000. It will pay off the debts for this cycle, last cycle, and our FET. All we'll have let to pay off from IVF will be this year's flights. So, I guess that is the positive. No matter what happens this cycle, at least we'll come out of much more financially intact than we could have possibly ever foreseen. I will take that as a good sign no matter what.

 

[lanet]

Buny I'm glad you get to see the head RE! Maybe a fresh set of eyes will help. And I'm so glad you will be coming back to the states after too. I wish you all the best!
If you paid $8,000 this cycle, you know I said my cycle, with icsi, monitoring, bloodwork, assisted hatching, freezing, and storage, is only $7800. My meds were $2000. So are you really saving anything? Are you giving up more than it's worth?
You are a brave strong woman for diving back in. I hope this is it and you get your bfp and this will all be worth it.
I wondered about the progesterone after ivf too, after what peachy said, bc I always thought your body didn't produce it when your eggs are retrieved, not like when you actually ovulate.
If you really think your clinic caused your embies to die and the drs not helping prevent your miscarriage, I would personally run for the hills. This is stressful even in the best circumstances. I always wonder about other countries malpractice policies too? Are you protected? Do you think it's all been worth what you've saved and have you really saved that much?

 

[Peachy1584]

Buny I would say run. Listen to your head and not your heart and run. Come back home give your self a much needed break and find someone here who can help you for a comparable price like Lanet said. When you are having all these doubts and misgivings you really should listen to your instincts and believe me I know how hard it is. I could have cycled again but chose to wait until I would be able to get the money for the warranty program and that took a while year. If you absolutely refuse to put an end to it then please don't even start stims until after you speak to this new person. You shouldn't be playing a guessing game with something so important and what's the point of seeing him if you're going to start without his recommendations? If he's what you think he is he may suggest a whole new protocol. I really don't believe in empty follicles. I think the eggs just don't release from the follicle which can be from over stimming which I think is my case or it can be from not using trigger correctly or even using the right one. Please take a little more time to give it some thought . I completely understand the desperation of wanting a baby and wanting it to be over but you need to find the best possible way of making that a reality. I am truly hoping/praying you are able to find the right path to follow...

Afm ladies my line is even lighter if that's even possible and for once I was actually able to use fmu. By beta on Tues it should be all gone. Even my breast tenderness is going away and I have that headache that always shows be for flo. I won't test again because honestly it's a real bad feeling watching or in my case squinting as it gets non existent. Now if I were smart I would have never tested until beta and it would have just been negative and I could have saved myself the grief and anxiety of having false hope. I know you ladies feel bad for but please there's no need for "sorries" and all of that because honestly it just makes me feel worse. I appreciate your unsaid words of sympathy and kindness . I am going to give myself a couple days to feel sorry for myself but in my head I am trying to move on to my next cycle and I am an incredibly lucky woman to have a next cycle. After a couple days I will put all my questions to paper so I don't forget during my Wtf appt and move on. I will get my baby it's just going to be a little longer.. i will still be around to support all of you and enjoy celebrating all of your BFP's!

 

[Peachy1584]

Oh and Lanet on a fresh cycle your body is gearing up to ovulate and they retrieve them right before you do that's why timing of trigger/retrieval is so critical.

 

[lanet]

Peachy. You are so strong. I won't get into bc i don't want to make u feel worse but just know you are in my thoughts. And I'm here if you would like to curse or something Cursing and eating chocolate is helpful. But you gave up chocolate didn't you? How long? Take care of yourself the next few days.

 

[Peachy1584]

Thanks Lanet I did give up chocolate but had an oatmeal raisin cookie for breakfast : ) I plan on throwing myself on a diet as well. I am great at losing weight but horrible at keeping it off under stressful conditions. Which is my life at the moment : ). I will show my tests just to satisfy curiosity however 2 are now gross yellow probably from pee. That's my only disclaimer : ). It's my God child's 1st bday today so I get to go buy baby clothes and toys and act happy. I honestly can't help but laugh at the irony of the situation.

 

[lanet]

Those kinds of things always happen when we are most vulnerable! Life can be cruel. Yes I want to see the tests but didn't want to ask! I'm ok with yellow pee!

 

[Peachy1584]

 

[Peachy1584]

I always want to know too so I get it. I am not going to the party but going over to the house after to visit. I was thinking about taking my 12 year old to see Divergent (she read the book) but not sure if it will be crazy packed and I hate when the theater is like that. I like a little space.