First time IVF - Started Lupron last Thurs - Would Love some Buddies

[LadySosa]

HAHAHA Terri. We all have those party days. Then we grow up. Haha. In college my roomies and I used to go out dancing at least 2 nights a week. Get wasted and hook up with random guys. I don't miss those days one. bit. It makes me cringe just thinking about it!

Yeah, I feel emotional for sure. Like on the verge of tears. Not cool.

 

[LadySosa]

Knit girl - Good! I'm glad the lack of nausea is normal and I'm sure the beta number will be higher!

Thank you for reassuring me that Lupron can make you crazy. I've been feeling pretty fine up till now, so I thought maybe it was external factors making me so emotional. Just a few more days...

 

[Babywhisperer]

Beagle - it's def darker!!

I'm not nearly as nauseous today as I have been, and that makes me nervous. Makes me worry that my hcg is decreasing. Any of you who have/had nausea had this happen - varying degrees of nausea?

Oh yes. I would have 3-4 bad days and then get a reprieve. It hit a peak around 10-11 weeks then started to dissipate. I have been mostly nausea free for 3 weeks. Next appt is Fri 13th 1pm. I can't believe I am 15 weeks already. That went fast. I know the last 3mos crawl but I am going to need that time to decide what to do with our bedroom situation. We have 4bdrms but 1 is a huge original master bdrm and the 4th is more like an office.

This has been such a weird week. I knew one of the victims of the Metro North train crash. I had met him socially a few times as he was close friends with friends of mine. He was also in my business and it's a small community. For some reason this tragedy has made me be more mindful and change where I sit on the train, where I stand on subways and platforms, and I am intent on being more present with Jack and my husband. Now that my energy has come back I intend to do more of what I enjoy doing instead of just work, food shop, cook and have zero free time for myself. I never do things for myself, and I never see my girlfriends unless we do a couples dinner which is rare. We tend to hang out w/ dh's friends. I am feeling like I only exist as a working Mom & wife...nothing else. This person who was killed in this accident lived life to the fullest and the light bulb has gone off for me that all I do is work, food shop, clean and take care of Jack. I know that comes before extra-curriculars as it should, but I always do what my dh wants to on weekends. I know the 1st year of a baby's life warrants that sacrifice, and being newly prego poses challenges as far as how I feel, but I need to get back to doing things for myself too when I can. I think now that I am feeling better I will start back to the gym and It will make a huge difference. Do any of you feel like you have lost yourselves ever? Am I being too selfish?

 

[booger76]

Terri - Haha - You're still fun Terri, it's just a different kind of fun. The group of people we ski with include ladies in their late 40s, 50s and 60s. I'm the youngest by far. Last weekend we are all discussing how much better life is now than when we were much younger. I certainly lived it up too but I don't miss those days. Just think about the hangovers those shots probably caused!

Beagle - Your tests look good to me!

LadySosa - Sing it, sister!!! I am right there with you. I've had a headache for days that nothing will get rid of. I am in the crabbiest of moods and poor DH is taking the brunt of it. And I have to pee about every other minute. I get to reduce my dosage tonight. I'm sure hoping I can tell a difference soon.

knitgirl - I'm going to tell you not to worry but I know that's of no help. Seriously, it sounds normal so try to not worry.

sars - I'm hoping I can steal your drink idea soon. That is going to be the hardest part for me. As soon as I'm not drinking, people will know. My husband brews his own beer so we have people over quite a bit or are always taking it with us to places. I might have to have him brew me a root beer or something that looks like real brew but isn't. I also have my wacky liver enzyme issue I can always blame it on too.

Amy - How are things going for you? I took my first estrace pill this morning. Can't wait to see how it interacts with the Lupron to further drive me into madness.......

Howdy to everyone else!!! I hope everyone is carrying on well.

As for me, I had another blood draw this morning and went for an US yesterday afternoon. The US was interesting. All is as it should be based on the drugs I've been taking. My lining was pretty much nil at 2.8 and I only had one follicle on one ovary. He had a hard time finding one of them since it had no follicles developing. Thanks, Lupron! Can I just say how much I love this doctor?? He's is the complete opposite of my RE - talkative, funny, and super personable. Not that I don't like my RE - he's just not much of a people person. But he knows what he is doing, so I don't really care if his bedside manner leaves a little to be desired. Anyway, if the doctor who is doing my USs for me wasn't an hour away from where we live, I would consider switching to him once I get pregnant. But I want to deliver locally and not spend even more time on the road with appointments. Oh well. I like my OB/GYN down here too.

Phew, that got super long. Sorry. I start estrace today and lower my Lupron dose so it should be fun watching my lining build up. My next US and blood draw are on Monday.

 

[beaglemom]

Lady - I was never on Lupron. But I think the whole process just gets to us. My retrieval day, I was in so much pain from O with all those eggs & just everything. I was ready to be put to sleep so I wouldn't just start crying. And it was mainly a tired cry. I remember my last injection...I just didn't wan't to do it. The thought made me so upset. Not from pain...just exhaustion. I hope it gets better. I am having a pretty consistant headache. I think it is mainly my meds cuz I was having them already...but maybe the pregnancy stuff is hitting.

Terri- I was never too wild. And I started dating my husband at 18. I also never went to a 4 year school. So not too much partying going on. Sometimes I think I would feel like I missed out, but I don't. Be happy you had those days...you can always look back & say you lived that part of your life to the fullest.

BabyW - not selfish! Deaths can hit us kind of funny sometimes. When the treatments were getting to me...husband not really backing me up emtionally & not supportive with every day things...I was pretty stressed & beat. He stepped up & I stopped babying the guys I work for. Made me a much happier person. Family comes first, but you can't have a happy family if you aren't taking care of you.

I am so ready to tell people. But mostly my close friends & family. I really am not concerned about my work people.

 

[Amy1976]

Beaglemom - Nice Lines!! Whoo Hoo!!!

LadySosa - I'm sorry you're having a rough day. We all have them, so nothing to apologize about. Although I am jealous of the rain you're getting

Terri - Just like Booger said, we are still fun, just a different kind of fun. Although I love your response to your husband haha. I love looking through my "young and wild" pictures lol. I had so much fun back then, although I wouldn't want to relive those years, I'm so glad I have the memories!! All my girlfriends that I was young and wild with are all married with kids now and I love getting together with them and having those "remember when" conversations lol. I've forgotten a lot over the years and being reminded of the craziness is the funniest thing.

Knitgirl - I agree with everyone else, from what I've been told, what you are experiencing is completely normal.

Babywhisperer - I don't think you are selfish at all. I think "ME" time is extremely important. I love when my husband goes and plays poker or whatever with his friends and I get to be all alone and do whatever I want lol. Also if there is something I want to do on my own or a girlfriend I want to visit, I always do it. Don't feel guilty about doing or wanting that. Maintaining some level of independence is important I think.

Booger76 - I'm doing pretty good. I've been on the estrace since Tuesday and I feel fine. I wasn't bothered by the estrogen or the progesterone last time so I hope it's the same this time around. I don't have to take the Lupron (not sure why) but from all the complaints that everyone has about it, I'm so glad I don't lol. I'm sorry you have to go through that. My AF that arrived a few weeks ago when I started the BCP was very mild and this one that arrived when I stopped taking them has been brutal. I've had some major cramping too. I guess it's making up for the mild one I had lol. My next blood draw and U/S is on Monday too

 

[terripeachy]

I was able to get my bloodwork and ultrasound done today. Yay! The doctor couldn't see anything that would be affecting me on the ultrasound, but he clicked around VERY quickly. He said the bloodwork would tell the true story. He said that I may have ovulated late, and I should start bleeding any day now. My fibroid is not anywhere that would be affecting getting pregnant or preventing AF.

The good news (?) is that he said that for a person of advanced age, I am a great responder, and there is really nothing preventing me from getting pregnant. If I want to do PGS testing, I could, but the cost is the same for one embryo as eight embryos and sometimes people do fresh cycle after fresh cycle until they get 8 and then have them tested. It costs $4,000. I'm not sure if I want to do that because I'm running out of insurance money and say I did one fresh cycle without PGS, didn't get pregnant, I would have to pay for the transfer, medicine, bloodwork/ultrasounds, etc.. out of pocket. He also reminded me of the guarantee. They will guarantee with donor eggs until I'm 50 (seriously?!), and then I get my money back. And..I did ask about the live birth versus getting pregnant and he said it is for a live birth. I didn't ask again how much it cost, but I'm really not interested in doing that. Now the only thing I have to decide is if I want PGS. I'm just not sure. I guess I'd rather go through the TWW unknowing versus having 8 embryos tested and all of them coming back abnormal. It's a tough decision. So...I guess I just wait to see what the bloodwork says tomorrow, and get ready for another IVF cycle.

So I'm pretty much I'm in the same place I was this morning. *sigh*

 

[knitgirl]

Beagle - it's def darker!!

I'm not nearly as nauseous today as I have been, and that makes me nervous. Makes me worry that my hcg is decreasing. Any of you who have/had nausea had this happen - varying degrees of nausea?

Oh yes. I would have 3-4 bad days and then get a reprieve. It hit a peak around 10-11 weeks then started to dissipate. I have been mostly nausea free for 3 weeks. Next appt is Fri 13th 1pm. I can't believe I am 15 weeks already. That went fast. I know the last 3mos crawl but I am going to need that time to decide what to do with our bedroom situation. We have 4bdrms but 1 is a huge original master bdrm and the 4th is more like an office.

This has been such a weird week. I knew one of the victims of the Metro North train crash. I had met him socially a few times as he was close friends with friends of mine. He was also in my business and it's a small community. For some reason this tragedy has made me be more mindful and change where I sit on the train, where I stand on subways and platforms, and I am intent on being more present with Jack and my husband. Now that my energy has come back I intend to do more of what I enjoy doing instead of just work, food shop, cook and have zero free time for myself. I never do things for myself, and I never see my girlfriends unless we do a couples dinner which is rare. We tend to hang out w/ dh's friends. I am feeling like I only exist as a working Mom & wife...nothing else. This person who was killed in this accident lived life to the fullest and the light bulb has gone off for me that all I do is work, food shop, clean and take care of Jack. I know that comes before extra-curriculars as it should, but I always do what my dh wants to on weekends. I know the 1st year of a baby's life warrants that sacrifice, and being newly prego poses challenges as far as how I feel, but I need to get back to doing things for myself too when I can. I think now that I am feeling better I will start back to the gym and It will make a huge difference. Do any of you feel like you have lost yourselves ever? Am I being too selfish?

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

 

[ERosePW]

So terri, I love all this new info you got today!! Makes me so happy you're back on the TTC train! I'll give you my take on PGS, but it's a very personal decision, so I would never try to sway anyone either way. I know you aren't easily sway-able anyway, so I'm not worried.

I had a hard time deciding at first too. Heck, obviously I did, because I went through 2 failed transfers before finally deciding to do it on my 3rd. What finally helped make up mind, was the thought of going through 2 more FETs, having more CPs, and having to wonder forever if I ever had any normal ones to begin with! I know you said you'd rather go thru a TWW not knowing than find out you have all bad embies. But I guess I finally got to a point where I wanted to KNOW. I wanted to have a reason if nothing ended up working. But that's just me and my obsession with knowing everything. I honestly think I had one (or both) good ones during my fresh cycle, but my body wasn't in a position to accept them, so it failed. When my body was nice and ready for the FET, I believe I had 2 abnormal ones, hence the CP. I'll never know for sure obviously. But it seems like such a miracle to me that out of 8 embryos, here I was down to my last 4, one didn't make it after the thaw, and out of the last 3, only ONE was viable. Very last embryo, very last shot, didn't even have multiple to transfer... only one. And bam. I'm a believer in PGS, especially for women our age who have less viable embryos than younger women. I'm obviously biased though since that was the one that worked, lol. There are PLENTY on this thread who got prego without PGS, so i dont think its absolutely necessary at all. But I really had a feeling due to my age, that I might only have one viable one left, and I was right (as was my RE).

BUT, that said, I know it's really expensive. I think mine was a total of $3k after the clinic's fees and the lab's fees. For the lab my clinic uses, the price goes up if there are 6+.

You'll make the right decision for you... You'll know in your gut what you should do. After torturing myself trying to decide if I should spend the money, my heart eventually just told me what to do, and it felt right.

 

[jkb11]

I was at work alllllll day yesterday but I have a ton to catch up on with the thread!

Beagle!!! So glad your test are darker! They look beautiful!

Terri- yay for getting started again. I agree with Erin. Pgs is a very personal decision and I was in the same boat as her. I didn't feel like I could take another tww then a loss. I like being prepared for the what ifs. The cost for us was right around 3K as well. I tk in the long run it saved us tho because, all the $$$ we would have spent going thru additional m/c 's and treatments. I'm happy to hear that your body responds well to treatment!

Knit girl- isn't your ultrasound today !!!????!!!! Can't wait for results

Amy- glad the estrace isn't bothering you. I have done fine with it as well. It's funny tho how AF will make up for any lite or missed cycles. Sorry you've had cramping.

Babyw- you're not being selfish at all. We have all felt that way at times. I'm sorry for your loss. Glad to hear he lived his life to the fullest.

 

[knitgirl]

I was at work alllllll day yesterday but I have a ton to catch up on with the thread!

Beagle!!! So glad your test are darker! They look beautiful!

Terri- yay for getting started again. I agree with Erin. Pgs is a very personal decision and I was in the same boat as her. I didn't feel like I could take another tww then a loss. I like being prepared for the what ifs. The cost for us was right around 3K as well. I tk in the long run it saved us tho because, all the $$$ we would have spent going thru additional m/c 's and treatments. I'm happy to hear that your body responds well to treatment!

Knit girl- isn't your ultrasound today !!!????!!!! Can't wait for results

Amy- glad the estrace isn't bothering you. I have done fine with it as well. It's funny tho how AF will make up for any lite or missed cycles. Sorry you've had cramping.

Babyw- you're not being selfish at all. We have all felt that way at times. I'm sorry for your loss. Glad to hear he lived his life to the fullest.

I wish my ultrasound was today, but it's next Thursday ...

 

[terripeachy]

Sorry to hear about your friend, BabyW. So sad..

Thanks ERose and jkb for your opinions. Did you pay for it at the beginning of your cycle?

I think the decision will be left to the insurance company. If I have enough $ to do one fresh and a frozen (what we would do with PGS), we will go ahead with that. If we only have enough to do a fresh cycle, then a fresh it is, and that's the end of this natural birth process. My husband can't save a dollar unless someone was about to kill him (which irritates me to no end), so the cost of PGS will be up to me and my inheritance. That is something I will also think about because I wanted to spend my inheritance money on adoption. If I take $4k out of that pile, will we still be able to afford adoption? My husband and I are both enginerds and make good money, and adoption is on a sliding scale, so we would be at the top. That means our cost would be more than someone making average money. #overachievementproblems I'm fortunate to have money, but it sucks having to make these decisions. Why can't I have a free-to-conceive-baby?

This decision making is making me want to go back on break. I guess I'll get back to work and focus on that for the next few hours.

 

[beaglemom]

I am having a some intense cramping feelings today. So far it has been mild & more stretching/pinching. But I am not going to stress about it. Still testing & my tests are coming out darker. However, still not dark on the cheapies. I even opened a new batch. But I did get the digital positive today! Just so excited to tell my mom tomorrow because that will open the gates on telling people. On family for now, though.

 

[beaglemom]

Terri - overall the PGS cost us about $6,000. We paid $3K to the lab & the cost of that plan with my dr was another $3K. Unless Erin, I know exactly what I had to work with. So me having supposedly good egg quality (never any issues found & young) dealing with pretty severe SA, we had 5 out of 14 eggs make it to biopsy. Out of those 5, 2 were good. We are happy with our decision (we were happy even before the transfer). Our thinking was we didn't want to transfer 2 with the risk of multiples, but we also didn't want to waste cycles. So FET on average for me is about $3. If we had horribe luck, we could have done 3 FETs with either a negative or a chemical. It is def a personal decision & you have to weigh all the odds. Plus you get to know the gender right away

As far as adoption, I always thought that was the way I would go. But after researching everything I became more comfortable with IVF. I think adoption is an amazing thing with its own set of challenges but ending with the same amazing reward. If you & your husband were open to it, you could even look in to the foster system which is less expensive & sometimes free. I also hear there are tax advantages to adoption.

 

[LadySosa]

BabyW - so sorry to hear about your friend. Was that the accident with the woman who parked on the train tracks? I just heard about it on the news. I didn't realize ppl on the train died. So sad. And no, you are absolutely not being selfish. At all. It's easy to feel like you lose yourself when you're busy caring for others. I don't even have any children, and I still feel like that sometimes (babying DH). Better to be proactive and do little things for yourself before your feelings get bottled up and you lose it!

Terri - that's a tough decision chica. I won't advise you either way, I'm no expert on this topic. But go with your gut!

Amy - if I could send you my rain, I would!! Haha. We will be in Cali in 2 weeks enjoying the sunshine! I am so excited to get my vitamin D! I am sure DH and I will be quickly identified as "seattle-ites" based on how pasty white we'll be.

Hi to everyone else! Happy Friday!

Afm - I definitely cheered up yesterday. But then when it was time for dinner, I was feeling so tired, stressed, emotional, I didn't know what to cook, we had no food in the fridge, I started crying! I was like "I don't know what to coo-oook!! I don't wanna coo-oook! I'm so tiiiiired!" DH was like, "umm...." Looking uncomfortable. Haha. At least I knew I was being totally irrational and hormonal. I just couldn't stop the tears from coming, regardless of what it was about! Totally weird feeling. I've never felt that emotional before. DH was sweet though, he gave me a long hug then told me to go sit on the couch and he would figure out dinner.

Suppression check is next wed, then the Lupron dosage should be reduced and will start the estrace/endometrin...

 

[terripeachy]

Fostering is for the birds. The MD gov't. (and maybe others) is totally for keeping the family together whether the mom/dad is on drugs, schitzophrenic, homeless, etc..So if you kept a kid in foster for say a year, and tried adopting them, if the next day the mom says "I want my kid back" you have to give up the kid and send them back to that drug infested hovel. Plus..there are a lot of ridiculous housing related things that you HAVE to do to foster, and I don't believe in that stuff JUST to foster someone's baby. I did look into it though, and it's not for me/us. I'll foster dogs only. There are tax advantages for fostering and adopting, but I don't really care about that either. hee hee. It's a nice bonus.

 

[Babywhisperer]

BabyW - so sorry to hear about your friend. Was that the accident with the woman who parked on the train tracks? I just heard about it on the news. I didn't realize ppl on the train died. So sad. And no, you are absolutely not being selfish. At all. It's easy to feel like you lose yourself when you're busy caring for others. I don't even have any children, and I still feel like that sometimes (babying DH). Better to be proactive and do little things for yourself before your feelings get bottled up and you lose it!

Terri - that's a tough decision chica. I won't advise you either way, I'm no expert on this topic. But go with your gut!

Amy - if I could send you my rain, I would!! Haha. We will be in Cali in 2 weeks enjoying the sunshine! I am so excited to get my vitamin D! I am sure DH and I will be quickly identified as "seattle-ites" based on how pasty white we'll be.

Hi to everyone else! Happy Friday!

Afm - I definitely cheered up yesterday. But then when it was time for dinner, I was feeling so tired, stressed, emotional, I didn't know what to cook, we had no food in the fridge, I started crying! I was like "I don't know what to coo-oook!! I don't wanna coo-oook! I'm so tiiiiired!" DH was like, "umm...." Looking uncomfortable. Haha. At least I knew I was being totally irrational and hormonal. I just couldn't stop the tears from coming, regardless of what it was about! Totally weird feeling. I've never felt that emotional before. DH was sweet though, he gave me a long hug then told me to go sit on the couch and he would figure out dinner.

Suppression check is next wed, then the Lupron dosage should be reduced and will start the estrace/endometrin...

Yes it was that accident w/ the SUV on the tracks. 5 people burned to death on the train, others ran to the back of the train car to escape the explosion flames and got badly hurt and burned. It's such a tragic accident and no one knows why she decided to go out and check her car when the gate came down, why stick around, back up, the guy behind her backed up twice to giver her room. She got back into the car and as she was about to drive fwd the train hit her. I had only met the guy a few times but he was so sweet, always gracious, a highly regarded man in our business, wonderful marriage with his wife and amazing father. Life is so fragile and I take that for granted. I don't stop to smell the roses hardly ever. I'm so driven to work as hard as I can and keep a clean home, stocked fridge, cook meals, and do what dh wants to on weekends to keep him happy.I suck it up and do what he wants socially, he doesn't have as good of an attitude when doing something he really doesn't want to do. I have heard that from friends too, their dh's don't react well to doing what they don't want to do, but we always go with the flow. Dh is going to bikram tonight so I am going to go to the gym tomorrow! Figure an hour of light cardio or weights, maybe a steam and shower, it will be like going to Canyon Ranch!

 

[beaglemom]

I don't know the specifics in NC. But I know we have a lot of kids needing help. I can foster dogs the rest of my life, but kids would just be too emotional for me. I have a friend (really aquintance) on FB who is struggling to adopt. The court dates keep getting pushed back & a lot of other nonsense. I def see that hard road, but it is a road that a lot of people benefit from. At least you looked in to it & know it is not your thing. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[sars930]

Wow! You girls were busy yesterday! I was working in the main office Thursday and I've got a jumbo computer screen in an open floor plan, so no jumping on the boards.

I had my beta this morning. My nurse asked me if I had been speculating as she took the blood. I confessed I'd already broken down and tested. She was excited and asked if it was positive. And I said, Oh, yes, I tested six times. I’m a lunatic. My RE was there doing paperwork, laughed and said I’d have stopped at three.

It’ll be nice to hear a number on the beta. I have to go back Monday for the next blood test. I'm so happy but it is hard to relax as it is so early and so much can happen.
I feel pretty normal. I’m super sore from the progesterone shots. I was sticking to the left side because the right side gets crazy sore. But a few nights ago I think he hit a blood vessel b/c I have a nasty bruise. So, having to stick to the right and it is sooooo sore.

KSF: I totally feel like a lush due to how obvious my lack of drinking would be Hoping those that notice are polite like your friends and keep their mouth shut. Our friends that don’t know about the IVF know we have been trying a long time, so it is obvious there was something wrong.

Knit: I totally think twins!

LadySosa: I hope you’re feeling better today. It is totally normal to be feeling like that. This process sucks and some times it all piles up. Hope you’re feeling more positive today. Hey, it’s Friday!

Terri: I think they just left out the rum in the mojito and still muddled the lime, tonic and put in sugar. It was pretty tasty actually!
I know the waiting is so frustrating but there was some good news in there that you respond really well. Does he have any ideas on why you haven’t gotten pregnant yet?

My RE told me she only recommends it in certain situations b/c there is risk in losing embies that might have made it. I think it is up to how much you want to know and what you can swing financially. It is a very personal decision.

I also know how hard the financial pressure makes it. We had zero coverage and decided to go with a discounted plan where I could get up to 3 fresh IVF cycles and 3 FETs. It cost $26,000, plus meds. Since I am pregnant, if all goes well with the pregnancy, we’ll get half of that back. There were many tears on my end about having to pay to have a child, something that so many people get to do for free. It is endlessly frustrating. And may be postponing us buying our next house.

But my husband put it into great perspective with this comment, “When you’re sitting at your kid’s high school graduation, $15,000 won’t feel like anything.”

It sounds like you’re weighing all the options and you’ll find out what’s best for you in your heart. Even before we knew about our fertility issues, we talked about adopting. It’s always been something in my heart. But I did find it shocking how much it costs.

BabyW: I am so sorry to hear about your friend! That was an awful, awful accident. I don’t think you’re being selfish at all. To be a good mom and wife, you need to first take care of yourself and nourish your own soul. You can’t care for others if you’re ignoring your own needs.

Booger: My husband’s been ordering two beers and we’ve been swapping them back and forth as I pretend to take a sip occasionally. It seems to have fooled people generally so far.

For all you ladies struggling with the Lupron, I’m sorry this sounds like it sucks! Hope you feel better soon.

Hi to anyone I missed!!

 

[sars930]

Ah.... my nurse just called. Beta was 198. And... I can drop my PIO to 1/2 ML and I might be able to stop Monday if it is high enough!