First time IVF - Started Lupron last Thurs - Would Love some Buddies

[sars930]

Oh BabyW I am so happy for you and your family.

Sorry to change subject - but they offered me the job ladies! I am really excited! I'm a little nervous and apprehensive because the benefits are not quite as good as what I have now. So I haven't accepted it yet. Also the salary is not the same, I'd be taking a bit of a pay cut. So the question is, should I take the job that I think would make me happy for less pay and less benefits? Agh I'm making a pro/con list at the moment...

Congrats LadySosa!! Even if you decide this isn't the right choice, it is nice to be wanted. I think there are a few things to weigh and you have to go with your gut.

I can't remember but does your current health insurance cover fertility treatments? Would the new one? We had no coverage at all and our final total cost came in at about $15,000.

How dramatic of a pay cut is it? Do you think you have room to counter? I don't think they expect you to just take what they're offering. Most companies expect you to counter.

I know you have been pretty upset over your nutso boss in recent months. I truly don't think you can put a price on happiness, so maybe that comes first. Just my two cents on things I'd be thinking about. Good luck with the decision!

A company I interviewed with last December that went with another candidate for the job (I lacked the degree they wanted), contacted me yesterday about a great opportunity. But I can't give up 12 weeks paid maternity leave. And I've also met my health insurance deductible and coinsurance limits for the year. That's about $3,500. I decided to just be frank and lay out that I am truly interested but I'm almost seven months pregnant and have great maternity leave in my current job. I don't know their timeline for filling the job but perhaps it could line up. The last one I interviewed for was posted for four months and the new person started in April.

 

[Amy1976]

Well I had my baseline appointment yesterday and started my meds last night. I don't know how to explain it, but I didn't leave the Dr.'s office feeling real positive. It isn't anything he said, but more what he didn't say. When I went in 2 weeks ago (for my SHG after I started the BCP) he said he was really pleased with the number of resting follicles I had. Yesterday he was like, well I see a few here but they're on the small side. Then he asked how long I was on the BCP and I told him 17 days, and he said, ya that's standard. But it was almost like he was thinking to himself, what happened to all the ones that were here two weeks ago? I asked him should we not continue? And he said no no, we're good to go. Your ovaries are a good size (whatever that means because who cares what size they are if nothing is in them). So I didn't even ask for an actual antral follicle count because I was too busy trying to read him LOL... he just seemed a little... not unhappy but not happy about what he saw. So of course I've been trying to shake the bad feeling ever since but now I have a million questions and worries in my head. So one thing I was thinking was that I've read that you can't get a real accurate antral count until CD 2 or 3. And last time I had an antral count AF had already arrived. Yesterday when I went it, I hadn't started yet (which is a little late after stopping BCP). It did end up starting last night. But I read that if you haven't started AF yet, follicle recruitment isn't finished yet, that a lot takes place within the first couple days of your menstrual cycle. So whether there's any truth to that or not, I guess it's what I'm holding on to for now lol. I guess all I can do now is wait until Monday and see how things are progressing. I hate this process

 

[LadySosa]

Gosh, I really don't know what to do. So I did negotiate for a bit higher, but their second (and presumably best) offer was still about $8500 less/year. They said as of Jan 1 they will increase it to what will be $5k less than what I make now. And I'd be giving up about $5k/year in bonus potential. But it's really not about the salary- they don't have paid maternity leave or short term disability. And yes, its with the city - it would be a great job! Great boss, great team, great position responsibilities, great location!

Right when I think I'll accept, DH starts vehemently telling me not to take it. He says I'm not planning for being pregnant, this job wouldn't help with maternity leave, I'm not thinking about a future family, etc. Which, I get what he is saying, I would be giving up 4 weeks of paid maternity leave plus short term disability pay. Not to mention salary. But I can't keep putting my life on hold and suffering through a terrible job and boss with my fingers crossed that I get preggo. Cause it just hasn't happened so far, and even if it does, I got nine months to get through after that. He encourages me to leave this toxic work place, but says I should keep looking elsewhere. But I know from experience that it can take a long time to find a good job.

I get so mad at him because its easy for him to say - he doesn't come to my workplace every day. He doesn't work with my nutso boss. And besides, it is my career, my choice. But is it??? I know we are a family ......so of course I value his opinion, but at the end of the day it really is my career.

AGGGHHH what to do???!!!

 

[terripeachy]

LadySosa-congrats on the job offer!! 8500 paycut is nothing to sneeze at but you are miserable. However, no maternity and disability is not good especially with taking a paycut. It would be different if you had awesome pay and no bennies, but a cut and no bennies is not good. How can the state not have that stuff? The pros/cons list is good. Just weigh it all and see what happens. Sorry I can't be of more help.

Amy-the meds will grow your follies so I wouldn't be too disheartened. They don't even count mine at the beginning of my cycle so I don't think you should be worried yet. And... In the end Moni only had one and she had a beautiful baby, so it's all just a risk we take when doing this. Yes, it sucks, but it will be ok. This is why they have medicine.

Afm-I guess my nurse is sick so they have someone else covering for her. No schedule today, but I'm sure I'll get one soon. I don't need it for a few weeks anyway, so hopefully my nurse gets better and gets it to me.

BabyW-how long do you have to stay in the hospital? We're all thinking about you.

 

[sars930]

Amy: My RE doesn't even do a check to decide to start a cycle or not until CD3. She doesn't use the BCP protocol. So, the month before I began I came in and had the U/S. She liked the follicle count and then gave me the go ahead for the next cycle. I came in for the CD3 ultrasound and I believe that's the night I started the meds.

Lady: I'm sorry DH being a pain. But I do think it is important to listen to his thoughts even if he is not expressing them in the best manner. I echo Terri on the rest. Good luck!

 

[jkb11]

Amy- is it possible to request a repeat scan for cd3, mainly to provide you with some peace of mind. I do think the meds will do their job like in the last but i would hate for you to have added stress thru the process. Also, dont hesitate to call dr and discuss any concerns further. That is what he makes the big bucks for

Lady- congrats on the offer!!! I think you have gotten great advice from the ladies on here. I know it seems like a big mess right now but i think if you sleep on it a night or two then you will have peace about which direction is best. If in the end you decide not to take this position then i would definitely continue with the search, so that you can enjoy your life from day to day. Any chance the crazy boss might leave in the near future?

 

[KrissyB]

Beta was 28 and I think today's hot was lighter than before. I go in again on Monday but I have very low expectations.

 

[ERosePW]

Krissy... Check out jkb's beta (in her siggy above your last post) right around same dpt as yours. She started out real slow too, and all is great now. Don't lose hope Hun. I know it's hard, but this is still very possible!

 

[jkb11]

Krissy- i knew i was out and going to miscarry again because i had gotten a + home test from 5 dp a 6 day transfer. But my beta was only 29 at 16 dpo!! Im 30 weeks today! Hoping the same for you! Hang in there hunny! Its all in how it doubles is what they told me. But some ladies on here had slow doubling and have done fine! The only thing they did different for me was add vaginal crinone to me in the morning and i continued with IM progesterone every night.

 

[terripeachy]

Krissy-I agree with the others. It's still super early. I thought your beta was supposed to be in three days so if it doubles every two days, you'd be at around 90 on the 21st which is good! Just try to relax and remember that now you are pregnant! See what happens Monday and ask about if they think progesterone supplements will help.

 

[KrissyB]

Jkb - thank you so much for sharing. It really does give me some hope... But did you take more than one hpt? Did any get lighter (I mean they are all light but there is some variation) that's what has me really worried

 

[jkb11]

Jkb - thank you so much for sharing. It really does give me some hope... But did you take more than one hpt? Did any get lighter (I mean they are all light but there is some variation) that's what has me really worried

Yes, mine varied too. It really does stink having to wait 48 hours for repeat betas but thats the only semi solid answer for now. Try to take it easy and not stress, i know its easier said than done. are you supplemeting with progesterone? If so do inquire about increasing that!! hugs***

 

[KrissyB]

I am supplementing progesterone with 600 mg a day (3 vaginal suppositories throughout the day). I haven't had any signs of spotting yet (knock on wood) so I do think the supplements are still working.

Jkb - did you do a FET or fresh transfer?

 

[jkb11]

I am supplementing progesterone with 600 mg a day (3 vaginal suppositories throughout the day). I haven't had any signs of spotting yet (knock on wood) so I do think the supplements are still working.

Jkb - did you do a FET or fresh transfer?

I was a fet. I never had spotting early on. But since my beta was so low they added more progesterone. I did have a subchorionic hemorrhage X 2 around 15 weeks and 17weeks.but those were unrelated to my beta. With my previous losses i had done crinone vaginally, i do feel the IM progesterone made a difference in my situation but with infertility everyones needs vary so much.

 

[KrissyB]

Did they increase the prog after the first beta or the second?

 

[beaglemom]

Hello everyone! Busy weekend!

BW - congrats on little girl! I am so nervous about going in to labor at work, but I am only 15 min from my husband & my hospital. I am actually closer to the hospital from work than home. Hope you guys are doing well & working towards a swift recovery.

Lady - you have to do what makes you happy but still consider your family. Hard decisions. Can you not go on your husband's insurance? Or is he on yours? I have taken pay cuts before to be happy. I understand your husband's view, but I do feel he should be more understanding. I can't remember if you have fertility coverage, but as far as the pay cut, I think you can work that out. And as far as maternity leave, you could save up money over the course of the pregnancy to make that work too. I am sure there are plenty of ways to cut costs in your budget if you really try. But I know this is only a choice you can make...but you shouldn't just look at it on a list...if it's something you feel strongly about, you should try to rationally decide if you can make it work.

Krissy - try to stay positive about the beta. We have had so many women on here really beat the odds. Sometimes I think even with all the money I spent & time, I am so lucky after reading what some of the other ladies go through. Some of you truly are the 1% who have little fighters!

Terri - looks like I may miss you in MB since I have family hanging around today & next Sat is my birthing class. I hope you have fun & great weather. I do love going there.

I have a lot to catch you guys up on, but it looks like we are just about to head out the door. I will catch up soon.

 

[jkb11]

Did they increase the prog after the first beta or the second?

Im trying my best to remember.... im pretty sure it was the first beta. My transfer was January 9th so i would have talked about it around January 19th-22nd if you want to try to look back thru the thread.

 

[beaglemom]

So our bbq was yesterday. We had a lot of fun. But not as many people as we planned. And it was def hot but no pouring rain. So we have a ton of leftovers which is fine with me. So now I have a lot of things to buy for baby. I should wait for other people who couldn't make it but we will see how antsy I get. I had my 3d scan which was really great but baby did not cooperate, so we have a rescan scheduled. He kept his legs & feet up by his face & refused to move. When he did move he turned his back to us! But we did get a pic. I will load that & my pic of our shirts we got from customizedgirl.com. Great site if anyone wants a customized shirt. My husband's shirt came from amazon.

 

[beaglemom]

Oh I totally forgot...one of my friends had a hard time conceiving...me & my husband had quit trying & were settled so I gave her a bunch of stuff I had collected. She saved all of it...I don't think she ever used it...and Saturday she gave it back to me. How cool is that!

 

[KrissyB]

Thanks so much to all of you for the support. It's been the most helpful and reassuring I've gotten on my years in this forum.

JKB - I looked back and don't see exactly when you started taking the extra supplements... but at this point I don't think I'd get through to someone today anyway, so I'll just ask at the monitoring tomorrow and go from there.

FXed I get a double and all this worrying was for nothing.