First Time Mom's - Due March/April 2013

[doggylover]

Oh ladies I know this is an awful thing to say, but I'm so glad I am not the only one having a bit of a tough ride these last few days to all who are suffering from screaming, non-sleeping babies. Why won't the little buggars just do what we want?!

Isabelle has been in fine form today....screaming most of the day and is now totally exhausted and overtired. Her little eyes are red rimmed, and she is pale from pure exhaustion. She has finally fallen asleep in her bouncer, after literally fussing, screaming and eating all day. I'm hoping she stays asleep for at least another half hour so that she isn't too tired to sleep tonight. What is that about by the way...being too tired to sleep?! Oh babies...

night time routine Lauren I said to Simon that we do need to start putting Isabelle up to bed at some point before we go. I think we at going to start on Monday trying to establish some kind of routine. But because her eating is still so erratic it'll be a bit sketchy for a while yet. How do you work it with Beau? Put her down at a certain time, or after a feed? (Or maybe both?)
What does everyone else do in the evenings? Any info and tips on what you do with LOs in the evening would be much appreciated so we can start to sort ourselves out!!

visitors manhandling the babies also annoys me. What gets me most is when Isabelle cries and people don't hand her back. She's obviously crying because she needs something from me (changed or fed. Usually the latter!) so why do people think they can settle her? I don't mind people cuddling her in the day time, but I feel like evening visitors (which have now subsided a lot, thank heavens) unsettle her when she should be starting her night time sleeps.

dummys/pacis my SIL gave us a pack before Isabelle arrived but so far we haven't needed to break into them. If I give her my finger she sucks it for about two seconds then spits it out once she realises its not a boob! apart from today she settles well without anything else, so we're trying to keep her that way for as long as possible.

Ok...wish me luck for tonight that Isabelle doesn't scream the house down and drive me insane!!

And hopefully all the other little nuggets let you mummies sleep as well.

 

[MrsHippo]

Sarah, beau is normally due a feed between 8 and 9 so we pop her to bed after then. Normally she is really good, she'll moan for a little while but I think that's just because she doesn't like being in bed but she does eventually settle. We have the dummy on standby as that helps her sleep - when she takes it. There is the odd night where it doesn't work though, like last night. She just cried, so we brought her out and put her on her beanbag where she fell asleep after 10 minutes. I went to bed around 10:30 but Adam stayed up until midnight when she wanted feeding. She settled in bed then was up again at 2:30, 5:00 then again at 6 but brought her in to bed with us and slept until 8 before wanting feeding again. So overall we had a better night. Hope everyone else did too??

 

[I Love Lucy]

I also had a better night with Aiden. He actually slept so well that I kept waking up just to make sure he was still breathing. On a good, normal night he wakes up about every 2 hours to be fed, 3 hours on a really good night. Last night he was wanting to sleep for 4 hours between feeds. I actually had to get up and go pump early this morning because my boobs were leaking everywhere and Aiden was not interested at all in waking up to eat. Hope everyone else also had a better night.

Lauren, my DH is also not a lot of help at night. He is nearly impossible to wake up. I'll ask him to do something with Aiden so that I can actually get up and go to the bathroom and rest for a little bit before he needs to be fed again and he'll say he'll do it and then go back to sleep. Or he'll get up and start doing random things. We've had a lot of fights during the night because I get so fed up with him acting like he doesn't need to do anything because he's tired and wants to sleep.

Also his go to thing for comforting Aiden is putting his finger in Aiden's mouth since that's one thing he will comfort suck right now. As soon as Aiden starts rejecting his finger though that is when DH determines Aiden is hungry and gives him to me to deal with. Like Adam, he expects Aiden to go right to sleep after being fed.

Sarah, I still don't have the best night time routine going mainly because Aiden is not wanting to sleep anywhere but in bed with me. I'll nurse him, he'll go to sleep, and as soon as I move him he wakes up and I have to start all over. So right now my routine is changing his diaper, putting lotion on him, and getting him into clean pajamas. Then I swaddle him and nurse him in the side lying position. Then I usually just sleep with him in bed with me once he falls asleep and continue nursing him in the side lying position (just switching sides since he only nurses on one side at night) every 2-3 hours when he wakes back up. I did not want to co-sleep but right now it's the best way for DH and I to get sleep so I've given in on that. If I'm not exhausted, I do continue to try putting him in his bed after he's fallen asleep through the night.

 

[doggylover]

Thanks Lauren, sounds like you have a pretty good system going on with Beau in the evenings (when she will let it work ) and so glad to hear last night was better for you.

Brittany, also so glad to know Aiden was better last night. Four hours uninterrupted sleep?! I'm so jealous! We bring Isabelle into bed at around 6am as she gets fed and then for some reason at that time is awake for about half an hour. Also not something we had planned on doing, but I think at the minute we all do what we need to to make sure both LO and ourselves get decent amounts of sleep. I've just started feeding her in side lying position in the mornings when in bed too, and its FANTASTIC. Seems so easy for her, and of course I am nice and comfy and get a quick nap!

Afm: at 9pm last night Isabelle conked out and slept amazingly well! She susalky goes about 2-2.5hrs between feeds during the nights- last night it was 3.5hrs so after her 11pm feed I was only up twice before morning. Amazing!

She fussy again today and ha literally been attached to my boob all day! No joke, she is only going maybe 20mins from the end of one feed until the next. Luckily we had idiots all afternoon so I had people to occupy me whilst attached to the sofa!

 

[I Love Lucy]

Aiden has been the same today, Sarah. The only way he is getting any sleep is if I continue to hold him after he falls asleep nursing. If I try to move him at all he wakes right back up and cries until I feed him again. I've read on a few websites that it takes a newborn 15 to 20 minutes to fall into a deep sleep and then you could move him but I'm not having any luck.

 

[doggylover]

Lol Freudian slip in my last post?! I meant we had VISITORS all day, not idiots!!!!

Brittany I feel your pain. Simon is out working tonight so it's just me. I'm praying that the magical 9pm switch off that happened last night happens again tonight....that's all that's getting me through!

 

[I Love Lucy]

at the Freudian slip.

Have you tried nursing Isabelle in the side lying position in your bed? That's usually my last resort with Aiden when my boobs need a break since I'm usually able to sneak out of bed without waking him. I just move all the blankets out of the way and then roll up some receiving blankets to put next to him so he doesn't roll anywhere.

 

[doggylover]

I do in the morning time for her 7/8am feed as for some reason I just can't seem to stay awake for that one! I can't even think about sneaking out of the bed after it though- I'm usually asleep again before she is!!

 

[MrsHippo]

Lol at the idiots!! Made me giggle.

I am all for breast feeding but I don't think I could have carried it on. You girls sound like all you do is feed. I moan about Beau when she 'snacks' and wants feeding every hour. You are both doing amazing jobs though, should feel really proud of yourselves.

Beau was ok last night, mixed table though. I was getting really frustrated with her and Adam wasn't! I was up at 1:30 to feed her then didn't go back to sleep until gone 3.. Not sure exactly what time it was. She was moaning constantly! When she did eventually get to sleep, Adam got up at 5 with her and stayed up. She wouldn't stop moaning for him after feeding though so I had her in bed with me and we slept until 9. So I feel better on the sleep front.

I am in a really bad mood today and I'm not sure why. I think my period will start any day as haven't had it yet. Adam has gone for a drink with his friend for a couple of hours so I asked him to take Beau. He has been here, there and everywhere and I haven't had any time to myself whatsoever. I wouldn't want a whole day without her, a couple of hours is enough. I just need some breathing space.

 

[doggylover]

You girls sound like all you do is feed.

This is exactly true and sums up my life at the minute!! Generally I don't mind as I can catch up on TV, or chat to visitors, but in the evenings when it's literally nonstop it is definitely tough!

I agree that we all definitely need to have a few minutes (preferably longer!) to ourselves. I don't think Simon fully understands how I am literally with Isabelle 24/7 and although I love her, I need some time when I can know she is fed, safe and happy, and I can just have my own space without having to worry about her. Simon was at work all yesterday and last night, so I was "in charge" all of Friday night, Saturday and last night so I'm just exhausted today.

Make sure Adam does take her for a good long stretch so you can have some down time. I think getting that time makes us better mummies as we come back to the babies feeling refreshed and (dare I say it?) not as resentful that all our time is being eaten up by one little itti bitti person!

Now, I need new clothes...

 

[MrsHippo]

You should try and give yourself some time too!!

I need clothes, I've slowly started buying the odd bit but feel as though I need LOADS more!! Jeans are on my next-to-buy list. I brought some white ones the other day but need some normal ones.

 

[doggylover]

I'm struggling as I am still in maternity clothes as I don't like how some of my normal clothes look as I still feel like I'm super chunky. I'm still a stone over my pre pregnancy weight so things don't seem to fit 'right' at the minute. I also need tops I can lift easily for breastfeeding. Ordered some bits from h&m but I need more. I haven't even contemplated bottom half yet- no way am I trying my pre pregnancy jeans yet! I always just wear jeans anyway so as long as I have some that fit I'm ok on that front.

It's depressing though- I feel so fat.

 

[MrsHippo]

Me too I don't feel nice in anything. I've been covering myself up in cardigans ect. The majority of me looks ok but I still have a belly and I have fat on my hips so I have a right muffin top. None of my pre-pregnancy jeans fit, I can't even pull them up my thighs. So it's either my hips (i feel as though they have widened) or I put on loads of weight at the end of pregnancy. I wore my normal jeans throughout most of my pregnancy and only stopped wearing them because my bump was getting in the way.

I'm planning on going out with my sister on Friday night for my birthday but im dreading outfit choosing. I've seen loads of nice things in the shops but I know I'll feel uncomfortable in them. I'm planning on buying some underwear to help tuck bits it.... Hopefully that will help.

I want to start exercising but I can't yet due to my scar. I've started to be able to dance around to music without it hurting so hopefully I'll be able to start doing more soon!

 

[doggylover]

Maybe we just have to accept our bodies are never coming back to what they were? That would be ok with me...as long as I LIKED my new body. But I guess we are still in the early days, we hopefully have plenty of time to get back into shape?!

Arrrghhhh. Just when I was thinking we were getting into some sort of routine. The last two/three nights Isabelle has been fussy, but settled beautifully come 9pm, and slept from then perfectly through the night.

So tonight we foolishly assumed the same. I even said to Simon "we can start putting her up to bed around 9pm then if she will settle like this every evening"

She must have heard and decided to throw us a curve ball. It's now 10pm and we can't get her to settle at all. She slept through most of her fussy period today, as we were at my parents and she was getting cuddled, so maybe that's why? *bangs head on brick wall*

 

[linzylou]

I was so excited to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. Oddly enough, I can fit into my jeans just fine but all of my tops look funny. I don't know if it's the bigger boobs or the slight jelly belly but none of them fit right anymore. So disappointing!

Sarah is in the middle of another growth spurt. Eating every 30 mins to an hour, catnapping, fussing, waking up in the middle of the night and refusing to go back down. Needless to say, I've been a zombie this week. I feel like Seth is taking advantage of her attachment to me because he's gone out three times this week. I feel like whenever one of his friends texts him to do something, he's out the door in 5 minutes flat. He always asks if I mind but what am I supposed to say? I never tell him no but it does suck to be the one always stuck at home with a baby attached to my boob and no one to talk to. Plus, I haven't been able to pump enough between the constant cluster-feeding so he's even off the hook as far as the night shift. Must be nice to come and go as he pleases, and get 8 hours of sleep. I think I got 4 hours last night! And not all at the same time! He is helpful but seeing as he was out fishing with his buddies for 7 hours last night and was sooo tired afterwards, I just need to vent for a minute. It's hard to be sympathetic when his lack of sleep is due solely to the pursuit of his hobbies.

Sarah, I feel you on the lack of routine. Sarah was only waking twice a night for a while but now she wakes constantly after midnight and only wants to be held and nursed. It's taken me no less than an hour to get her back to sleep every time. I hope both of our babies settle into something more predictable soon. I've gotten to the point of not being able to fall asleep because I'm anticipating her waking up. And here I am reading about all of these 6 week old babies starting to sleep through the night!

At least I've solved the case of the dark green poops. I haven't needed to give her Colic Calm for a few days and now they're back to yellow! That stuff is black so I should've guessed. I almost want to find a different brand of gripe water because it made her poops atrocious - they would fill her entire diaper and then some, and they reeked so bad! I ruined 2 onesies (I actually had to cut one of them off of her because it was covered in poop and I didn't want to pull it over her head).

Sorry this post is so whiny. Sarah really is a good baby most of the time, and has given me loads of smiles the last few days which really makes things worth it, but at the same time I'm exhausted and am looking forward to the end of this growth spurt so that I can have more than 20 minutes to myself.

 

[doggylover]

Holy crap Lindsey, cut her onesie off? That must have been some poop!! It's terrifying what they can produce isn't it?? Sorry to hear Sarah has been so hard to settle at night. I also can't believe seth has been out so much I had one night alone and hated it, so it must be awful to have him out so much, especially since he's just going out for fun.

Afm: between 9pm and midnight last night were three of the worst hours of my whole life. Isabelle did not stop screaming. She usually settles at 9, but last night she just went nuts. None of the "usual tricks" would calm her down, and we ended up in bed at 11 with her crying and me sobbing. The only fail safe to stop her crying is to feed her, and she wouldn't latch on, even though she was rooting and kind of "mouthing" at my nipples. That just sent me totally insane and I started crying. So Simon had a crying baby and wife to try and settle. He (rightly) chose the baby and took her away downstairs, leaving me to sob on my own (and eventually fall asleep for 15 mins) but the whole thing was just awful. After midnight she slept/fed in a three hour cycle, and at 6am was in bed with us as is now the norm. But from 7.30am the screamin' demon was back. And weirdly, when she woke to feed in the night she screamed, which she never does.

She is soooo unsettled at the minute. I hate it because I feel like I don't know what to do to help her, and I hate seeing her upset. She's been having massive, explosive poos, so I'm wondering if maybe she has a sore tummy and that's why she's so squirmy and unsettled. I just wish she came with a handbook so I knew what to do to help her feel better.

I feel like someone has stolen my lovely, calm, quiet baby and replaced her with the devil's spawn.

 

[MrsHippo]

Sarah and Lindsey, so sorry to hear about you both having a tough time. I hate how one day they can be little angels then devils the next. It must be something to do with the age they are at as they all seem to have the same behaviour. Beau is brilliant all day then a little terror come night time at the moment. She doesn't cry, just moans... But equally just as frustrating. The only thing that tends to settle her in bed is her dummy but then she'll moan 5 minutes later because she has dropped it.

She has been waking up between 5 and 6, hungry or not... She doesn't settle at that time unless she is getting attention so ends up in bed with us. I don't mind having her in bed, find it quite sweet actually but really don't want her getting in to that habit and 5 years down the line, she is still in my bed.

Lindsey, if I was you I'd say something to Seth. It's not fair that he goes out when he pleases and leaves you to it. Yes, he might not be able to do much in regards to feeding but he should be there to support you in other things like changing or even holding her after a feed so you can get 10 minutes to yourself.

 

[MrsHippo]

Has anyone else started writing letters ect to their babies? I opened an email account for Beau today and sent her an email telling her about my pregnancy, how I felt at the first scan and how she is doing now ect. I hope to send her one every month for the first few then I think every couple after. Thought it was a nice idea to get down all those milstones ect.

 

[doggylover]

Lauren that is a lovely idea! It will be so special for her to read all that when she is older. Make sure you log into her account every so often to keep it active. I haven't done anything like that - I wouldn't want to start today either or the poor child would end up receiving a letter about how she is Satan's minion

Isabelle is exactly the same as Beau with the 6am in your bed snuggle. She feeds between 5 and 6, and will settle for maybe 20mins until she decides its time to wake up. I bring her in with us and she drifts back off again. What I like about doing it is that she self settles as she is wide awake when I bring her in, and after a few minutes rubbing her tummy or cheek, I fall asleep so she has to send herself to sleep. Like you said, I don't want it to become a dependence, but if it was always at 6am and she always went back to sleep afterwards, I wouldn't mind it too much. As long as it doesn't spill over into the middle of the night. The worst thing about it for me is that it wakes Simon for a few minutes, and he has to get up at 7am, so that last hour for him is then not proper sleep.

Isabelle has now been asleep for 40mins which is her longest stretch today. She is awake more and more at the minute which is great. Or, rather, it would be great if that awake time wasnt spent grizzling and crying!

 

[I Love Lucy]

Sarah, I'm right there with you as far as clothes go. I keep trying on my pre-pregnancy clothes and most of them don't fit right because of how large my boobs are now. Not to mention I've still got a bit of belly but I can't exercise yet or do anything to get rid of it. Plus, I also have to have tops that work with breastfeeding. Clothes really frustrate me at this point. I basically just walk around my house in a bathrobe these days so I don't have to deal with it.

Lindsey, I would definitely tell Seth you need his help. During growth spurts, I focus on the feeding and leave my DH to do the diaper changes, burping, swaddling, etc. I have a hard enough time dealing with the constant nursing during a growth spurt, I don't even want to think about my mental state if I was doing everything else too.

Lauren, I kept a journal while I was pregnant. I wrote to Aiden about my BFP, the first scan, MS, etc. all through pregnancy. I thought it would be a nice thing for him to have when he is older and expecting his own child since I thought it would help him understand how hard pregnancy is. I'm no longer writing to him but I am keeping a baby book that I record all kinds of stuff in. It has a page for every month during the first year and then it has pages up until age 5.

AFM, we had another rough night with Aiden. We had guests over for dinner so Aiden didn't get a good nap so by the time bedtime got here he was overtired. I think I was up with him until about 1 in the morning before he finally drifted off to sleep. Then we were back up at 4 when DH got up for work but I don't think he nursed very well at that time due to him wanting to sleep. And then again at 7:30. I changed his diaper and freaked out since he had salmon pink urine! I called his pediatrician but got her answering machine so I resorted to reading online. It seems like having this happen on occasion is normal and that it's just very concentrated urine. His next diaper change was the normal clear color pee so I think everything is fine but will be keeping an eye on things so I can take him in to the doctor if I need to.