First Time Mom's - Due March/April 2013

[doggylover]

Lindsey it sounds like Sarah and Isabelle are getting onto a similar nighttime schedule. We also put Isabelle down between 8 and 9, although I can't seem to get her down half awake. We bath, feed on one side, into pjs (to keep her awake) feed on other side, bed (every other night bath is replaced with nappy free time on her playmat and a quick top and tail) and by the time she's finished feeding she is zonked, so goes into her crib asleep. If she does to in slightly awake its because she hasn't finished feeding, so cries after about 10mins and needs topped up with milk, then falls asleep. How do you get Sarah to stay slightly awake?
Sorry your mil was a pain- I can't believe she was so rude to you. What is wrong with people sometimes?! Who refuses to give a baby back to their mother?! Good thing you only have to see her every so often!

Afm: my expressing starts tomorrow. I got my breast pump out and it comes in a little plastic box with all the bits, and reading through the instructions I found out that the box is actually a mini-steriliser. Which is great as I don't have a steriliser, and resented the idea of buying one as we don't plan on using a lot of bottles. So having that to just pop the pump (and one bottle) into is great. So I'm all sterilised and ready to go tomorrow morning. Then we will attempt to give Isabelle her first bottle tomorrow. I'm weirdly nervous about it. I'm worried that she won't accept the bottle, and I'll never be able to leave her. Conversely, I'm also very worried she will go fine with the bottle, and then get nipple confusion and not be able to latch on anymore.

Her latching has been a bit dodgy lately. She used to go straight on, but now she mouths around my nipple for a while, gives it a small suck but doesn't latch, so it can take a minute or two to get her on. I think we've both gotten lazy on the latch front, so need to make sure we work on that so she can still breastfeed easily.

Hope everyone is having a grea weekend x

 

[MrsHippo]

Lindsey, I can't believe your MIL. What is it with them.... I hear no end of stories about MILs. I bet your glad she has gone now!!

Sarah, how many bottles do you have? Are you planning on increasing the amount of bottle feeding? If you don't know already, not sure what the instructions say on the pump but once you sterilise a bottle/bits it only stays sterile for 12 hours.
I have two lots of bottles (12), fill 6 with water ready for formula while the other 6 stay in the steriliser. Obviously you won't require as many bottles and still have your boobs to use if a bottle isn't ready
Oh and after watching this programme about germs I wash everything in anti-bacterial washing up liquid first. My doctor said to make sure all the teats are thoroughly washed too to prevent things like thrush.

We had a walk around a park earlier which was nice, enjoyed a bit of sunshine. Im back home now and feeling rather tired so I'm going to make a coffee, eat some chocolate and chill out

 

[doggylover]

Lauren I only really plan on using the bottle if we want/have to go out somewhere. I'm going to the big reunion concert next week blush so need to have enough for her for a few hours and have her used to the bottle for then. After that it'll only be a few times a month I would imagine she'll get a bottle.

What i didn't expect was that I would manage to pump 3oz this morning (then I stopped as I don't know how much she would drink) but she refused to take the bottle. She had the teat in her mouth but just rolled it around in there. Milk dropped out so she knew what was in there but didn't take any (well about 0.5oz but I think most of that dribbled out of her mouth and down her front!) so we are hoping to try again later and see how we get on.

Sounds like a perfect day for you - especially the chocolate bit!

 

[MrsHippo]

Aww, I am sure she will get used to it soon Beau gagged the first few times we used a bottle and again when we used a dummy.

 

[I Love Lucy]

Hayley - I tried a 0-3 outfit on Aiden a couple days ago and he was basically swimming in it. May be a lot longer then I was thinking before he'll be out of his newborn clothes and into those.

I would be furious if my mom behaved the same way yours is. I know Aiden cries to be held a lot, I certainly don't think there is anything wrong with that or that he's spoiled. Our babies are still so young.

As for Dori, I'd be more so annoyed with her lack of interest because you asked her to be a godparent. I know when a lot of my friends first had babies I didn't tend to say much about it. Most of them got pg in high school or just after high school so having kids was not even something I thought about. Remembering how I felt then I try to remember that not everyone is going to be comfortable talking about baby stuff. Have you ever talked to her about what role you want her to play in Tyne's life? Maybe she doesn't realize she should be showing more of an interest in her godson. If you've already chatted with her about this stuff and still nothing has changed I would rethink things.

Lauren - Sorry about your OH's family. My side of the family all smoke but they have done a great job of going outside to smoke whenever me and baby around and washing their hands before messing with him. Obviously, I would prefer they not smoke at all but I appreciate what they have done. Maybe you could ask OH's family to do similar things when they're around Beau?

My MIL would hold Aiden constantly if I let her. So I do understand your frustration with OH's family there.

Lindsey So sorry for the way MIL behaved. I would have been really annoyed. Glad Sarah was still really happy over the weekend though.

Sarah, I hope the expressing has gone well for you. Aiden has had 2 bottles since I started expressing and he's had no issues at all going between bottle and breast. I did find myself feeling rather upset watching DH bottle feed him the one time I was in the room with him. I guess I was starting to feel like I wasn't doing my job or something by not nursing him.

We're not planning to use too many bottles either except for when we're out but we have several on hand. So far we have tried a Tommee Tippee and a Similac bottle. The Tommee Tippee bottle according to DH had a rather fast flow (all the bottles have the slowest flow nipples) and he would keep pulling away from the bottle with his mouth full of milk. The Similac bottle was actually much better for Aiden. If Isabelle continues to struggle with the nipple on the bottle you have perhaps try a different brand of bottle and see if you have better luck.

AFM In the hospital I had a lot of nurses coming and checking my pad to see how the bleeding was but just looking at the pad wasn't enough for some of the nurses. Some nurses would push on my stomach to see how much blood was coming out. Not only did them pushing on my stomach hurt but just feeling the blood coming out was gross, I couldn't imagine why someone would need to see it coming out! I don't know why I even bothered with a hospital gown, because between the vaginal checks and the breastfeeding I had no privacy. As for pain relief I only had Tylenol or Ibuprofen that I was able to give myself when needed.

I'm jealous that y'all aren't having to co-sleep. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but Aiden seems to only sleep in bed with me. I'll feed him and put him in his bed and he'll just cry and cry until I go and get him. I feel like I'm going to be co-sleeping forever which I hate. I don't get to sleep how I want because I'm worried about him next to me. Plus every time I get papers from the pedi about babies his age they all say not to let him sleep him in the bed with me like it's the worst thing a parent can do which just makes me feel worse.

 

[doggylover]

Brittany at the hospital, and at home visits, all the midwives have told me co-sleeping is basically evil, but that is total balls. I think partially its because a lot of people are ill informed of how to co-sleep safely, so they don't want to say its ok in case people just pop the baby into bed unsafely. As long as you practice safe co-sleeping (which I am 100% positive you do ) then I wouldn't worry about what the pedi says. I wouldn't worry about Aiden being in with you forever - my aunt co-slept with her first for 2.5yrs (out of choice) and he is five now and happily in his own bed.
Maybe you could get a side-carred crib for Aiden, so he is right there next to you, but also in his own space?

Pleased to report that second attempt at the bottle went much better and she drank around 1.5oz before deciding that was enough and that she wanted some comfort from the boob instead. But at least she drank some.

 

[MrsHippo]

Brittany, don't feel bad about co-sleeping. Beau ends up in my bed most mornings as she doesn't tend to settle after her 4-5am feed. I just make sure she doesn't have a pillow above her head ect. She sleeps so well with me... Which I admit I take advantage of - gives me a lie in. They don't recommend it due to the potential risks but there are risks in anything. We can't live on eggshells and follow the books until they're 18!! You do what you feel right doing. You should look at a hammock most babies sleep really well in them. Beau normally does well in it.

I can't remember who asked me... But just realised I didn't answer you! But the hammock holds them until around 6 months or when they start moving (rolling ect). I REALLY hope we are out by then otherwise she won't have a bed!!

Sarah - Yey for the bottle!!

 

[doggylover]

That was me Lauren I didn't realise they lasted so long, definitely longer than a Moses basket (unless you have a small baby!). Don't worry - Beau can just start sleeping with you full time if you haven't moved by then

And Isabelle often ends up in bed with me in the morning, also so I get a lie in! Again, I just push all the bedding away, and curl up around her. But honestly, she just starfishes and conks out!

 

[linzylou]

Sarah, it sounds like the pumping is going well! I'm sure Isabelle will get the hang of the bottle soon. I know it requires a different sort of sucking motion than breastfeeding. I had to have DH give Sarah the first few bottles because she would just look at me like, "This isn't right. What are you doing?" Besides, I felt like I was betraying her or something by giving her a bottle. I still do sometimes. She usually has one bottle at night but lately I've been doing all of the feeds myself as I've noticed she's been lazy at the breast.

Sarah usually wakes up a little bit when I burp her and then I just lay her down in her swing or her bassinet with a blanket and some white noise. I leave her alone for 5-10 minutes and she's usually asleep by the time I come back. At night, she does fall asleep at the breast which is OK with me.

Brittany, I don't think there's anything wrong with co-sleeping unless it bothers you. This morning Sarah was in bed with me from 5-7. I co-slept a lot more before getting the rock n' play but found that we both woke up more often because she is such a wiggler but I know that a lot of parents and their babies actually benefit from it. I'd say keep trying to put Aiden in his own space if it's really affecting you, though. Maybe try moving him once he's good and asleep?

We use Tommee Tippee, too, and I agree that the flow seems too fast sometimes. I have to hold the bottle parallel to the ground so she doesn't just gulp it down. I also have a few Dr. Brown's bottles that, even though they don't resemble a boob at all, work great.

AFM, we're still waking up 3-4 times a night. Last night she woke up 3 times between 9pm-7am (11, 2, 5). She had some gas last night and was awake for a few hours in the middle of it all. I guess that's not bad but it starts to take a toll on me when she doesn't go right back to sleep because I literally get an hour of sleep before she needs to feed again. She sleeps 4 hours at a time during the day! I've tried waking her up after 2 hours but like today, she was really cranky until I put her back down. I try keeping her awake an hour or two before bedtime and feeding her as much as she wants in the daytime but it hasn't really changed anything. Maybe I'm expecting too much of her at 7 weeks? Or maybe she'll never be a good sleeper, as I don't sleep through the night at almost 25 years old!

Does anyone have a routine during the day? I've read about some people doing eat-play-sleep which only works for us sometimes. I've mostly just been following her cues as far as when she wants to do what. It almost seems like having a set routine makes things more stressful when she doesn't want to follow it.

 

[MrsHippo]

I dont have a routine during the day, I feed her when she wakes. If she stays awake we will have a cuddle or I'll play with her - tickling, show her toys ect. She has definitely become more aware of bright toys now!! I'll pop her on her floor mat for tummy time or take her nappy off for a while. But she sleeps most of the time...

She has been really un-settled since about 5:30 - it's now half 9. She drank about 5oz within the space of an hour and a half!! Which is loads for her. I think she got belly ache too so gave her a bit of gripe water in her milk. It says to use 5ml (yet doesn't provide a spoon) and I had nothing to measure it with so just used a tea spoon full. Think that's less... But don't have a clue how much I should have used.

 

[LiverpoolLass]

Hi girls!

I'm replying on my phone so will probably miss loads
Of things to reply to! Our Internet has broken at home do I can only use my phone ATM!

Co-sleeping - we do it after the 5/6am feed too coz Tyne just never settled after that one. I know every medical professional seems to be dead set against it but like the others have said, you just have to do what works for you and I'm sure you're being safe about it.
The way we do it is that Jon and I both sleep facing inwards, so were facing each other... Under the duvet. And we put Tyne in between us but on top of the duvet, and further down so he's nowhere near any pillows. That way we know the pillows/duvet can't smother him, we can't accidentally roll into him and he can't overheat. I still don't love doing it and I don't sleep great with him there, but he loves it and settles right away!

I would LOVE a co-sleeper cot though, I'm definitely getting one for my next child!

AFM - we had our first trip to the children's hospital yesterday night!

Tyne has had really dry skin on his forehead since his milk spots cleared up, I googled it and everything suggested it was cradle cap... And to bathe it in sterile water and use a baby moisturiser.
So I did.... We've got boxes full of baby moisturisers that I've been sent to review on my blog, so I picked one of them... The one that said it was extra sensitive and suitable from birth... A few hours later his skin went really red and his whole forehead swelled right up!!!

:/ it was horrible! He looked like he'd had a chemical peel!!

I took him to the walk in centre and they sent us in to children's a and e. we were there for four hours and they didn't really help much, basically just said a lit of products claim to be suitable for newborns when they're not

His head looks fine again today though at least.

 

[I Love Lucy]

We only seem to have a routine at night. I take Aiden to bed around 8 or 9. Then he gets a diaper change and I nurse him again around 11, 3, and 6. I'm usually up for the day after the last feeding. During the day I let him nurse when he wants. When he's awake I'll put him in his bouncer or talk/cuddle with him. I should start introducing toys and show him is play mat. I know my pedi was saying that he'll start paying more attention to toys now.

Glad Tyne's head looks okay now! I hope you give that product a negative review!

 

[MrsHippo]

Hayley I can't believe that!!! The only moisturiser I use on Beau is e45 and Johnsons baby oil. I read that rubbing the oil in to their hair and washing it out helps with cradle cap. I have super sensitive skin so I worry Beau might too.

I found that Johnsons baby shampoo made her head really flakey though so I've been using that cushions mum and me one... It lathers up quite a bit, as does the bubble bath but thought it was good. Smells nice too

When beau is in bed with me I am naughty and put the duvet over her legs as she settles better. Same as her beanbag, she won't sleep unless she has a blanket on. I do wake regularly though and keep my arm on top so I don't accidentally pull it over her. I should keep her on top really.

I was so impressed with beau last night!! After the fussing and huge 5oz or so, she slept from shortly after 9:30 and didn't wake up for a feed again until 3:30!!! Only had 2oz though. Then up at 5ish which Adam got up for then again at 8:30. But that first stretch was great!

I don't know what to do today. The weather is lovely - and going downhill after tonight, getting cold and wet again so I'd hate to waste the day. But I have to be strict with money (Adam hasn't been getting paid properly due to them not having much work) and there isn't much to do around here that I can walk to and is free. I have housework to catch up on so could do that.

We managed to have last night!!! Yey. Lol. Took a while and many positions to get the hang of though. It really hurt at times, TMI but felt as though my insides were swollen or tense. But eventually found a position that was comfortable.

 

[doggylover]

Lauren great news about dtd - I think the first few times will probably be a bit and but once you get used to what suits now it'll all be back to normal in no time.

Hayley poor Tyne! I hope he ok, and that his rash has gone down. That's scary

Products I also have pretty sensitive skin, and I used to have quite bad eczema and dermatitis on my scalp so I'm paranoid about Isabelle getting it too. She had a little bit of cradle cap, but it didn't turn into much. I've found that her scalp does get dry if we don't rinse her hair REALLY well after its shampooed. Because she has so much hair there is lots of place for shampoo to get stuck, so we practically hose her head down afterwards!
Other than the shampoo, we just use water and some e45 to keep her nice and soft!

Routine in the morning we get up at 8, and have about 20-25 mins on her playmat with no nappy, then a feed and then she has a sleep while I eat breakfast and we take the dogs out. But after that its anybodies guess as to what will happen for the rest of the day! She eats when she wants and sleeps when she wants! Then around 8pm we start getting her ready for bed, so by 9pm she is (usually) asleep in her crib. (Last night she mammoth fed until 9.30pm, but then slept until 2.30!! 5 hours!)and she usually feeds again around 1, 3 and 5, then from 5 onwards she snacks until 7am, when she has another nap.

Isabelle is definitely more awake now. She gets bored easily when she's awake so spends lots of her awake time grumpy!!

tummy time I saw Lauren mentioned this. Has anyone else started? I tried a few times but Isabelle just kind of face planted onto her playmat....what does everyone do to encourage it?

 

[LiverpoolLass]

I know, I'm definitely going to give it a bad review.

It's so annoying as it was basically the first real product I've used on him, other than johnsons baby oil for massage and johnsons top to toe bath. It was really expensive stuff too, it was Etat Pur and its like £12 a bottle! I'm gonna email them a picture of how Tynes head swelled up, as I don't think they should really marketing it for sensitive newborn skin suitable for use from birth!

I haven't Washed his hair using shampoo yet, I was waiting until he was 6 weeks but now in scared to use anything!! :/

Lauren - glad you managed to dtd! I'm sure it'll get back to how it used to be over time!


Tummy time - I haven't tried this with Tyne yet, I've laid him on his tummy a few times on my lap and he just hates it! He always cries! Maybe I should be trying it to encourage him to lift his head more though?!

Our health visitor discharged us today, she weighed Tyne before she did though.... He's now 9 lbs!!!!! I can't believe it, little chunk!!

I'm amazed as he's gone backwards with his feeds. He was taking 4 oz and going four hours between feeds, now he's back to two oz every two hours again!!

 

[I Love Lucy]

Lauren - Congrats on DTD. I've definitely wanted to but I still have days where I bleed/have pain from the tears so I'm not ready to even attempt anything yet since I just don't think it could feel good at all. At this point I doubt I'll be making any attempts until after my pp checkup on the 21st so I know everything has healed up right down there since I'm not sure if I should still be having pain and occasional bleeding.

Sarah - We haven't started doing tummy time regularly yet. DH has had Aiden on his chest a few times for a little bit of tummy time. Aiden would lift his head and look around then he would put his head down to rest and then he would lift it again and look around more. He's basically been trying to lift his head since he was born though so I really didn't have to do anything to encourage it. Maybe try laying on the floor with her and talk to her?

AFM - Aiden wanted to be wide awake this morning from 3:45 or so until almost 6:00. Go figure, I mention him having a predictable routine at night and he decides to not follow his routine.

DH's family is hounding me again to set up a time to go to MIL/FIL's so more of his family members can meet Aiden. I'm beyond irritated because I just want to be left alone. Especially considering its hard enough getting out of the house with Aiden just to go to the store or his pedi appointments here. It pisses me off that his family keeps acting like it's some simple task to drive an hour to MIL/FIL's. Aiden is the first baby on my side of the family in 13 years! My family has been ridiculously excited since I announced my pregnancy. But they have managed to not hound me once about driving to Indiana so they could meet him. I just don't get why DH's family can't be the same. I swear they don't think about anyone but themselves.

 

[MrsHippo]

Don't you find it weird that it's always the partners family that cause problems or hassle more often ect??? I don't hear many of us moaning about our own families. Think it shows just how little they know us. Or they think they have some right now to invade our lives!!

Our health visitor on her first visit actually told us to do tummy time regularly. She put her on her belly while weighing her and I was so surprised at how Beau reacted. She lifted her head and didn't moan. So now we pop her on her belly at least once a week, she has a really strong head/neck.... Not sure if it's because of it or not.

Beau does try and suffocate herself sometimes lol so have to move her but most of the time she moves her own head. Putting their hands under their faces help as if they get tired they can rest on their hands/arms. She isn't always in the mood for it either and can moan but most of the time she seems to quite like it. Good for when they have trapped wind too.

You can buy these 'tummy time' things from babys'r'us too which have a raised pillow type thing in the middle of the mat. Thought it was a little on the pricy side for what it is though.

 

[doggylover]

Lauren I used a rolled up towel to prop Isabelle up on for tummy time, I read about the things you can buy but someone suggested a towel is basically the same.

I have her on my chest a lot and she lifts her head and looks at me or around, so maybe that's enough for her for now. When I put her on her mat (with the towel) and get down with her she just....lies there and doesn't try to lift her head. She is pretty strong though with her head, so I'm not too concerned just yet.

brittany sorry to hear mil is being a pain AGAIN. I suppose its just because they are excited about Aiden, but they have to respect your time with him, and your need for peace and quiet. How often did you used to see them before Aiden? I understand that people ant to see us now more often because of the babies, but IMO if someone couldn't be bother to see me beforehand, why should I bother to get myself and Isabelle ready to see them now they are suddenly interested?

Hayley I hope Tyne improves with his feeding again. If it makes you feel better I feed Isabelle roughly every 2-3 minutes seriously, 4 hrs between feeds is unheard of here!

Afm oh my gosh a HORRIFIC day Isabelle started fussing and crying around 11.30am and by 1pm we were both standing in our sunroom, her in the sling, with our heads thrown back and crying our eyes out! I think I was crying louder than she was! I was VERY close to phoning Simon to beg him to come home, but by the time I reached my phone she finally fell asleep. For twenty minutes...then the screaming continued until 4pm. Luckily Simon was home at 2 and dealt with her. I am exhausted and it was just awful! Definitely the worst screaming session yet. But she slept well from 4 onwards so I think she was overtired, and she went down perfectly and self soothed tonight.
She also took a small bottle perfectly from Simon, so this evening was great, which definitely makes up for the hideousness of earlier on.

 

[MrsHippo]

Aww Sarah, you poor thing. Have you tried going on a walk with her in the pushchair when she is unsettled?? I hear stories of women walking out in early ours just to get baby to settle. Fresh air and movement normally settles them, especially when they're tired. Because beau is awake more during the day she can get over tired and become really ratty and cries.

 

[linzylou]

Hayley, I'm glad Tyne's back to normal but how scary! I use the Mustela products and love them but I usually just wash Sarah's face with plain water because I, too, have super sensitive skin (especially my face). You wouldn't think that products made for babies might not actually be good for them. I agree with Brittany, you should leave a bad review!

Lauren, good job, Beau! That's quite a stretch. I bet that felt nice. Hopefully she keeps it up!

Brittany, sorry that your in-laws are still hassling you. It's amazing how selfish family can be when there's a baby involved. I mean, I understand their excitement but it gets annoying when they don't give you a break.

Sarah, we're going through a fussy period ourselves so massive hugs. I'm glad Simon came home and was able to give you a break, and that Isabelle had a better night. Days like that are so rough, especially when you're by yourself.

AFM, I am so close to becoming a hermit. We were over at Seth's dad's last night for a birthday party. I did everything in my power to make sure Sarah was fed and well-rested before we arrived but she ended up fussing the entire time. It didn't help that everyone kept passing her around. I was feeding her and Seth's grandma actually said, "Take that bottle out of her mouth and sit her up so I can get a picture." Uh, no, you can freaking wait 10 minutes. And his step-mom is just awful. She kept poking fun at Sarah's size (she's 11 lbs at 7.5 weeks) and made me feel terrible when Sarah wouldn't stop crying - like it was ruining the celebration.

Sarah screamed bloody murder all the way home and didn't fall asleep until 11 despite my best efforts to soothe her. She woke at 1, and then 4:30 and didn't go back to sleep until 6. She is crabby as hell today, too. I just feel so bad for her because I'm not sure what's wrong and I'm starting to feel exhausted and overwhelmed and like I'm not doing a good job. I don't know if it's because of all the people we've seen in the last week (starting with my MIL) or what but things seem to be getting worse, not better. I just want her to be happy!