First Time Mom's - Due March/April 2013

[MrsHippo]

Sarah - Oh no. I can't believe that!! I was hoping you'd have a bit of time to yourself I think you should try and arrange something with a friend...or even just by yourself, tell Simon you are having a couple of hours to yourself and let him look after Isabelle. My friend text me a couple of hours ago and asked if I wanted to meet for a drink one night to catch up, I jumped at the offer lol. I text Adam and said I am going out for a couple of hours Friday night. So he can cancel his running and look after Beau.

*Just spoke to Adam and he sarcastically said ''So I'm being forced to babysit..'' then went '' I don't get to go out on the piss'' my reply to that was - 1. I'm not going out on the piss and 2. Its ok for you to go to Ibiza. He then put the phone down so now I am angry.

My god, what is it with the men at the moment!!!!

 

[doggylover]

Also make the point that its not babysitting when it's your child! He should be thrilled to have the chance to spend time with beau (even though she'll be asleep!) since he is working away so much. And what about you "being forced to babysit" when he pisses off to Ibiza for a week??? His argument is PAPER THIN.

I actually made a hair appointment for Friday and my mum is looking after Isabelle. I had just planned to feed her, go and then go straight back, but I might leave my mum some frozen milk and take a bit more time out.

Simon was upset when I told him I was annoyed. He said that I am not good at accepting help with Isabelle (which I actually know is true). Last night when she wasnt settling he came up and offered to take over and I said no. So maybe I need to relax a bit I just can't help but feel like she is MY responsibility and its up to ME to do everything for her. Especially since I no longer have a job to go back to, I just feel like she is all I have and it's my JOB to take care of her. I wouldn't let someone walk into my classroom and take over, so why would I let someone take over helping out with Isabelle?
I would that's ridiculous at the same time.

 

[MrsHippo]

When I started talking seriously to Adam about how I felt, he still didn't get it. He said I'm stopping myself from doing anything by myself and that it's not him or Beau stopping me - I had to say that I have no choice but to put Beau first.

For as long as we have been together, he has never handled me feeling down. I don't think he knows how to help. He thinks he needs to answer when sometimes I just want him to listen. Or he will try and be funny and say stupid things - like the babysitting comment - to me, it wasn't a very good joke. Just pissed me off even more. Then he gets stroppy because I'm angry.

We normally have a really good relationship, it's not very often we argue. We have the odd fall out but normally back to normal shortly after. But I wish he'd take some things more seriously. He said he feels bad that I feel down but does nothing to help or reassure me.

Hmmm. I feel really shitty at the moment, I'm crying all the time. I am going to speak to my doctor if I still feel this way next week. My moodiness is causing me to moan at Adam then that turns in to arguments. I just want to feel happy again

I'm glad Simon knows how you felt about the earlier situation. I also agree that it is our 'job' to be mummy and I wouldn't let anyone take over looking after her - apart from Adam, I think he needs to up his role a bit and take over more when he is at home. I think my problem is that I do TOO much when he is home too so don't really give him the chance to do anything. I think we both need to change, I need to relax a bit more at weekends and take a step back, while he needs to take a step forward and help out more.

I swer all I have done is moan for the last couple of weeks. I'm getting sick of moaning!! Lol. I don't want you guys thinking Adam is an arsehole either... I mean, he can be, but he can be amazing at times too.

 

[LiverpoolLass]

Hi Girls!

I feel like I'm really struggling to keep up with the thread atm, I apologise if I forget to comment on something important - I'm struggling to remember anything lately!

I'm sorry you're all feeling a bit down about your other halves. It can be so frustrating - it does seem like their lives don't have to change as much as ours do, and its frustrating.

Lauren - congratulations on the house! Thats such great news I'm sorry about the arguments with Adam - but I agree with Sarah, you are some kind of DIY Goddess! I wouldnt even know where to begin with sealing a bath - I'm not even 100% sure I know what it even means!!!! lol!

The Steiff donkey is so cute!!! Tyne was given a Steiff - I think its a dog?! Its buried in a bag of cuddly toys, I don't have anywhere to keep toys yet so they're all shoved in a gift bag together! I should probably take better care of it lol.
It was a nice gift but surprising for us, as the person who gave it is someone we barely know really - it was my sisters fiance's mother!!?

Sarah - I understand what you mean about feeling like Isabelle is your job now (in a way) and feeling that she's your responsibility, it totally makes sense. it was nice that Simon thought he was trying to help I guess, but I can see why you were miffed! Your poor Dad mustnt have known what to do for the best, running around after the little guy but wanting to help you out too!!

Lindsay - I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time with Sarah at the moment. If it makes you feel any better you're definitely not the only one whose baby doesn't sleep of a night - mine doesn't sleep like everybody elses either!! Admittedly he's been getting a little bit better and only waking every 3 hours, but he still seems to be a long way off catching up to everybody elses babies.

Tyne also sleeps a lot in the day too, so perhaps there is something in that theory.
But like Lauren said - I find that if he doesn't sleep in the day, he seems to be sleeping worse of a night - he gets REALLY grouchy and can't seem to settle himself at night time.

AFM - I'm having a lousy time. I'm still really unwell. I managed to perk myself up tonight and go out to dinner with Jon, but it was so much effort and I felt so weak the whole time. Its horrible!
I feel like such a horrible mother - I have NO energy to play with Tyne, I can barely even lift him atm - when I'm asleep I'm literally dead to the world and nothing wakes me, not even his cries.

I keep thinking about how the Drs all told me before I was pregnant that I should avoid getting pregnant because of my medical problems - I remember thinking "Ha! in your face, what do you know!" when I got pregnant and had a healthy baby - but now I'm starting to realise that actually maybe they didn't mean I should avoid it for that reason, maybe its more that my body can't cope with the after effects and won't let me care for the baby properly and do all the things a good mother should do.
It makes me feel horrible - I don't want Tyne to grow up with a Mummy who's too ill to play with him, and never has any energy - I certainly don't want him being stuck with a mummy who collapses while she's on her own with him!

Anyway. I don't have much other news really - except that Tyne is having his 8 week needles tomorrow. I'm terrified!!!! I hate the thought of him being hurt

 

[MrsHippo]

Awww Hayley, don't think like that!! Once your health has stabalised you will be back to your normal self. I completely understand how you feel though. And don't forget, your iron levels will massively effect how you feel, when they are at a normal level I'm sure you'll feel much better.

Also, sorry you've come on here and see that all you have really missed is us moaning lol.

Well today I've woken up feeling more positive... Let's hope it stays that way.

Beau has a hospital appointment to see the consultant. I dread it actually... We haven't been putting the fabric nappies on. Im really bad, I'd forget, get her dressed then tell myself I'll put it on later.. Then it never happens.

I think the story in the news at the moment is awful. What sort of sick person hacks someone to death in broad daylight... Well, at all!! It must have been horrific for anyone to witness!! And now people have started riots and stuff- but as per usual, it's chavy lowlifes that have used it as an excuse to destroy things and just cause problems!!

 

[MrsHippo]

Got some good news from the consultant today - Beau's hip are normal now so I am really happy about that. He recommended using double nappies still for a couple of weeks...but he thinks we have been doing that for the last week and in all honesty, we stopped after two weeks (naughty I know).

Another plus - I won some fitflops they are worth 74.99 too!! I never expected them to cost so much.

Overall today I have felt happier and me and Adam have had no squabbles

Hayley, I hope Tyne's injections weren't too bad today. Beau has hers next week and I am dreading it!!

Hope everyone else is ok?? xx

 

[linzylou]

Hayley, I'm sorry you're still feeling so unwell! I second what Lauren said, that once you feel better you will be back to your old self. I'm sure Tyne still thinks you're the best mommy ever, no matter what.

Lauren, I feel the same with all the complaining that I've done. I don't want anyone to think that I'm super unhappy or anything because that's not the case at all...but you ladies are the only ones who understand how hard motherhood can be sometimes! I'm glad we've all been able to support and encourage each other through the hard times.

Great news about Beau's hips!

As for me, Sarah's sleeping much better in her own room. Me, not so much. I miss her! Also, I hate the idea of her waking up alone (even though she only wakes up once now). I've actually been taking my pillow and a blanket and curling up on the floor of her room halfway through the night. She's been sleeping roughly 8pm-5:30am with one feed around 3am. Each night I worry that she'll go back to waking every 2-3 hours... I need to learn to relax!

Oh, my milk supply all but dried up. No wonder she was waking every hour to eat!! I'm now pumping .5 oz total when I used to get 3-4. Pretty sure it's the birth control. My doctor knows I'm breastfeeding and said that the regular pill (Ocella) wouldn't effect my supply but it totally has. It's the only thing I've changed in the last 2 weeks. I switched to the mini pill instead and have been drinking tons of water and nursing constantly. Hopefully I see an improvement!

Seth's coming home early today and he's offered to watch Sarah so I can go out. It's been a few days since I've done anything besides run a few errands with the baby in tow. Not sure what I'm going to do yet!

 

[I Love Lucy]

Thanks for all the support regarding the passing of my cousin's husband. It's been very appreciated.

Trying to catch up on the posts I've missed, sorry if I've missed things.

Hayley - I'm sorry you're feeling so lousy. Like the other ladies have said I'm sure once you have fully recovered you will have an easier time with everything. You're not a bad mommy at all and I'm sure Tyne loves you no matter what.

Lindsey - Sorry your milk supply has decreased so much. I'm surprised your doctor would put you on a combined pill considering they're really not recommended for breastfeeding moms. Hopefully the frequent nursing/pumping will help you get your supply back up. Are you having to supplement with formula or frozen breastmilk at all?

Aiden goes down for a nap between 12-1 and then he normally sleeps until 3-4. Other then that it's just cat naps during the day and maybe an hour long nap if I hold him that long. He sleeps well at night and only wakes for feedings and then it's right back to sleep so I think the lack of naps during the day might help with that.

Glad Sarah did so well in her own room! I hope Aiden does well when we move him in there. I've gotten so used to waking up to him next to me I'm not sure I'm going to like not seeing him as soon as I open my eyes.

Lauren - I know exactly how you feel with the not being able to do what you want when you want. I get frustrated about that all the time and my DH doesn't get it at all which just makes the whole thing more upsetting. I hope talking to your doctor about your feelings will help so you're not having so many arguments with Adam.

Awesome news about Beau's hips!!

I'm so excited for you to get to move!! July 5th will be here before you know it!

Sarah - I'm sorry you're not getting any time to yourself. I also feel like that, especially when DH works late because then it's just me doing everything. With Aiden's new sleeping schedule, I wake up at 1:00 and go pump and then I start doing small chores around the house until 2 when Aiden wakes up for his first night feeding. DH thinks I'm crazy when I tell him I was downstairs doing laundry or dishes or whatever at that time but it's like I don't have time to do that stuff during the day.

Have you tried different brands of bottles? I'm sorry Isabelle refuses them. Aiden doesn't seem to care what kind of bottle we give him as long as he's getting his milk. Maybe try to look at it as Isabelle prefers you and that's why she won't take a bottle.

AFM Had my PP checkup on the 21st. For the most part everything looks okay. There is one area where I tore that didn't heal up right and that's why my OB/GYn thinks I'm having the stinging pain. She put some medicine on it and said in a week or so it should be better. Hopefully she is right. I haven't been the most comfortable since that appointment.

She also noticed I'm having one of the side effects of breastfeeding, vaginal dryness. If lube does not help with DTD she is going to write me a prescription for an estrogen cream or something along those lines that will help.

DH and I tried DTD last night for the first time and it did not work at all. Granted we ran out of lube so I don't think we really had enough for it to work in the first place. Hopefully the next time goes better since this time was so uncomfortable and I had to have DH stop before he was even able to get all the way in.

He was so gentle the whole time and was so kind after I told him to stop that it made me fall in love with him all over again. He makes me feel a bit more positive about trying again rather then just thinking I'll never have sex again since I tend to think so negatively about things when they don't work.

 

[doggylover]

Brittany I'm so glad that even though dtd didn't happen, it turned out to be a mostly positive experience. We haven't tried yet, and I am really worried about it. Isabelle will take some of her bottle (shes taken up to 2oz before) so we know she can take it from this sort, but she just....doesn't want to. She definitely prefers me!!

Lindsey that's really awful about your bc and your milk. I'm so glad that you are getting it sorted though, hopefully it hasn't had any long term effect on your supply. And poor Sarah, no wonder she was so fussy! That is the exact reason I don't want any bc at all other than condoms, I don't want to run the risk that anything will affect my supply. My dr said it won't, and I was sure I was worrying for nothing, but hearing you say that makes me feel better about my decision.
How is Sarah getting on now you have identified the problem?
Enjoy your 'time off'!! Like you, I wasn't sure what to do when I thought I as having some 'me' time! But do something you love.

Lauren great great news about Beau's hips!

Hayley I'm so sorry you are struggling at the moment. Like lauren said I think your iron will play a big part in feeling so tired. And don't feel so bad about not being able to play with Tyne. Everything I've read says at this stage they just like the company, focus on our voices and get to know our faces, so even just sitting chatting with him is exactly what he needs, nothing big and fancy. You are a wonderful mum and Tyne is so lucky to have you, never forget that.

Afm: Isabelle didnt go to sleep last night until 10.15 as we were home late, but she slept through until 3.45 which was super. But still up again at 5am it seems to be her favourite time of day!
Today I left her with my mum while I went to the hairdresser (oh boy does my hair look a million times better!) I left some expressed milk in their freezer, but was only going to be out for max 2 hrs. Well on the way home I phoned to say I had to stop into my house, and mum said Isabelle was asleep. I get home 10mins later and get a phonecall asking where the heck the milk was. All I could hear in the background was Isabelle SCREECHING. Since she doesn't take the bottle well, and it would take a few mins to heat it up, I told my mum I'd just come back as we only live 7mins away. I drove like a maniac, and cried the whole way that my poor baby was so upset. Got back and stuffed my boob in her mouth so fast the poor kid hadn't a clue what was happening! Very upsetting!

 

[linzylou]

Brittany, I gave Sarah a little bit of formula a few nights ago but I've been able to pump enough for her bedtime bottle (4 oz); it just takes all day!

I'm not sure why my doctor okay'd the combi pill for breastfeeding. When she gave me the option, I just went with Ocella because I've been on it since high school and didn't like how the mini pill seems so much less effective. I even called to talk to her about it and she still maintains that Ocella shouldn't have any negative effects but I went ahead and filled my prescription for Micronor anyway. Hopefully I can remember to take it at the same time every day!

I'm glad that your first DTD postpartum was a mostly positive experience. I noticed the dryness as well but we both hate lube so we just spend extra time on the foreplay (sorry, TMI) and that seems to do the trick for us. I hated sex when we first started DTD after the baby but now we're almost back to our old selves, 5 days a week. I don't even know how we have time for it but we do!

Sarah, I feel your pain! I can't get Sarah to sleep past 5:30, no matter what. One night she fell asleep at 9:45 (little stinker fought us for 2 hours) and shestill woke up bright and early. At least our babies seem to be giving us a decent stretch of sleep before making us get up.

I bet it felt nice to get your hair done! I'm sorry you had to rush back to feed Isabelle, and that she was so upset. That's always one of my biggest anxieties about leaving Sarah.

As for me, Seth is on a roll today! He watched Sarah, picked up the house, and made dinner. Now I feel bad for complaining.

 

[linzylou]

Well, that's what I get for bragging! Sarah is up after just a few hours and isn't going back to sleep. Seth's done his good deed for today and won't give her a bottle so it looks like another bad night's sleep for me. And here I thought she was starting to sleep through.

 

[MrsHippo]

Lindsey - five times a week!!!! lol. ATM we probably only do it once, but then Adam is working away and I don't fancy spending my whole weekend having sex I don't know how you can't like lube though! Its great

Sorry to hear about your milk drying up though, I would be so annoyed if that happened to me.

I don't know what I am going to go on, I have my GP appointment on Wednesday. I am considering the injection but don't like the thought of having an injection in my bottom every few months! I have been on so many different types of pill but some just don't agree with me. The one I was on most recently made me feel really down, although I didn't even notice it until I came off.

Brittany, glad your experience went well. I couldn't go ahead with my first two attempts due to pain and Adam was very kind about it. I was upset because I felt as though I had let him down but he reassured me that there was nothing wrong and we'd just try again another day.

Beau was weighed yesterday and is 10lb4oz which apparently is under average but she is well proportioned with her length ect and they said they aren't concerned as she is still putting on weight ect.

 

[doggylover]

Ok I have to say right now, simon and I haven't even attempted to dtd yet in fairness, I'm still having very light PP bleeding. It's been super light since about two weeks PP, and it seems to be almost done now, but that's one of the reasons we haven't.
Five times a week indeed...my god we never even did it five times a week before the baby, or before we got married! More like five times a month! (Expect when ttc then it was every other night!)
Tbh I am feeling really nervous about it we only dtd about four times when I was pregnant and I hated it then as I felt so uncomfortable about it all. So it's been a LONG time since a) we had sex at all and b) I enjoyed it. So I am also kind of putting it off for that reason.

We went out to a friends engagement party last night. We put Isabelle to bed first, and she would usually wake up at 12.30am at the absolute earliest, usually much later, so we headed home for midnight. Of course she decided last night that 11.30 was perfect time to wake up I had milk in the freezer and she took a bottle just fine. But for some reason when I got home and saw she was up I freaked out, and was really rude to my mum, even though Isabelle wasnt even crying, and everything was fine. I don't know why I was so upset, and I need to apologise today about being so mean to her. I don't think we'll be heading out again too soon. I hated it.

 

[linzylou]

The only times I haven't wanted to DTD was at the very end of my pregnancy and then right afterwards. What can I say, we're like rabbits!

Lauren, I love your Facebook picture of Beau using the Bumbo! How does she like it? I went out and bought one today. Sarah loves to sit up and the Boppy pillow doesn't support her back that well so I think the Bumbo will be perfect.

Sarah, I'm sorry you didn't enjoy your time out. Babies seem to know just when to stray from their routine, it seems like. I've taken out my frustration on my mom before, too, even though nothing was her fault, but I did feel better after I called and apologized.

Sarah is 2.5 months old today. The two of us walked around Babies R Us. I bought a mirror for the backseat of the car so that I can see her when I'm driving, some dangly toys for her car seat, a Bumbo chair, more Dr. Brown's (I like them better than Tommee Tippee even though they don't resemble a boob), diapers, and a SleepSack. I haven't swaddled Sarah in ages but I'm hoping the SleepSack will come in handy when we try moving her from the Rock N Play to her crib. I'm not looking forward to that day as she hates sleeping flat on her back but I think she's starting to outgrow the rocker.

Then we went out to eat, just the two of us. It was our first mother/daughter date. I fed her in the car before we went in, I held her on my lap while I ate, and then we left! I was super nervous at first because I dropped her pacifier on the floor first thing (go figure) and we were surrounded by other diners and I was afraid she might scream and I wouldn't be able to calm her down. Turns out, she just sat on my lap and looked around. She cried once we got home but that's a different story!

Hope everyone is doing well!

 

[doggylover]

Oh Lindsey that sounds like a lovely day out for you and Sarah! I must admit I'm jealous. I had planned a little trip out to get a present for a friend, and thought it would be nice for Isabelle and I to go out alone somewhere that isn't the supermarket! But then my mum invited me to go shopping with her instead, so we ended up going with my mum, my SIL and my cousin! Not quite the quiet mummy daughter day I had planned!
I would have majorly panicked when I dropped her paci, for some reason when I'm out I feel under so much pressure, as if everyone is watching and judging! That usually ends badly for Simon as I take that out on him!

So Isabelle isn't doing anymore 5/6hr sleep stretches anymore most we are getting is a 4hr first thing, then more like 2.5 after that. Why can she not be more regular?!

Must go and look at beau in her bumbo...

 

[MrsHippo]

Morning girls,

Sarah, sorry to hear about your not-so-good ending to your night out. I'd be annoyed too.
Also, with dtd, sometimes I have to force myself in to it. My sex drive dropped massively when pregnant and it isn't totally back yet. But once we get started I enjoy it. I only feel comfortable doing it in one position at the moment, I don't like showing my body much.

Lindsey, nice to hear about your little outing I go out with Beau quite often, haven't sat down and eaten or anything though. Tends to be walks or trip to the shops. I'll sit down and feed her somewhere with a drink, so far she has behaved lol.

Bumbo, she is ok in it but can't hold her head long enough to stay in it for any long period of time. She does keep it up and has quite a strong neck but once she gets tired she goes floppy again. So atm I will put her in it no longer than 5 minutes and I will gradually start increasing the time.

Sleeping, overall Beau sleeps really well. Last night she went to bed at 9 and slept until 5. The night before she went to bed around 8:30, up at 2, 4 and 7. But she tends to go through a few good nights then has one like that.

I went to my dads yesterday and burnt my arm and part of my chest in the sun I need to buy sun cream!!

We..well I, have decided to get a duck...or two...when we move I have been looking in to making a coop as they can be really expensive to buy, just need to find the wood from somewhere. They are supposed to make nice pets so I am looking forward to it

 

[doggylover]

Lauren how have I never noticed Beau's amazing hair before?! It's gorgeous! I'm so s impressed she can hold her head up for five mins. Isabelle can go a few seconds and that's it! What an amazing sleep stretch for Beau! I would call that sleeping through the night for sure!

Ducks sound lovely do you have a wee pond or anything for them? a lot of people get chickens - I HATE chickens, but love ducks, so good choice!!

 

[MrsHippo]

She has been able to hold her head up for a while now....probably only after a couple of weeks.

No they wont have a pond. They will have access to water though, I'll probably buy a large rubber bucket and stick it in the ground or a shallow paddling pool type thing. Don't think we'd be allowed to go digging up the garden to build a pond. They need something they can dunk their heads in and wash....I'll find something.
Adam keeps saying he wants chickens instead but I don't want them, they are noisy, not always friendly and they smell like cooked chicken!! - lol.

 

[doggylover]

It'll be so lovey for beau to have some cool pets! I can just see her sitting in a paddling pool and the ducks joining her
Would you think about getting another dog?

 

[MrsHippo]

Errrrmm I'd like another dog one day, but not any time soon. Pup was hard work and it took me a lot to give her away. I don't want to get another and have to go through the same thing again. I think I will stick to small animals for now, I'd like a rabbit one pet at a time though