First Time Mom's - Due March/April 2013

[doggylover]

Hi magic! Nice to have you in us and congrats on your pregnancy! Glad to hear you are feeling well too!

Amanda you made me laugh when you said you feel like a whale! You definitely don't look like one at all. But I'm glad to know maternity jeans are comfy, I'll definitely be getting some soon!

Your job sounds great as well - especially since you get to work from home which will be so wonderful with a baby in tow! You're very lucky! I on the other hand, haven't a creative bone in my body I'm awful! Definitely a scientist brain rather than a creative one!

So I found out today my close friend is 5 weeks pregnant. Very mixed emotions about it. She definitely rushes from one thing to the next, and this is her "new" thing. She has never liked babies, and even said as recently as 4 weeks ago about a woman breast feeding "that is so disgusting, babies are so weird and gross". Now in that time she decided she wanted one and got pregnant......

 

[I Love Lucy]

Sarah, I need to get my bloods done at my next appointment but I know that is because my next appointment is the genetic testing one. I had blood drawn my first appointment and I bruised up a lot so I'm really hoping that this time I escape without a big ugly bruise on my arm.

I also have terrible bloat as the day progresses. I hate that I feel so huge and it's definitely not all baby causing it. Bloating starts to go away in second tri though doesn't it?

I ordered a pair of maternity jeans Friday. Mainly because I had a coupon code in my e-mail that gave me 25% off anything online so I figured why not. I'll need them sooner or later. I'm hoping to get by with cute dresses as long as I can though. Of course, with winter coming I'm doubtful that will be much longer.

Amanda, your bump is so cute! I can't wait until I actually have something like yours.

Sarah, your friend makes me think of my sister. My sister conveniently started NTNP after she learned OH and I were going to be TTC. I feel like she rushes everything though because she wants to do what I'm doing/wants everyone's attention on her. I don't really know how I'll react if she does get pregnant to be honest. Because I disagree with so many of her choices, especially the fact that she won't take folic acid or any other vitamins.

 

[doggylover]

Sarah, your friend makes me think of my sister. My sister conveniently started NTNP after she learned OH and I were going to be TTC. I feel like she rushes everything though because she wants to do what I'm doing/wants everyone's attention on her. I don't really know how I'll react if she does get pregnant to be honest. Because I disagree with so many of her choices, especially the fact that she won't take folic acid or any other vitamins.

I cannot believe your sister won't take folic acid. That is just flipping nuts!!

It does sound like your sis and my friend are a lot alike. I think it's definitely an attention thing for her. I was engaged first, bought a house and married firsNdola of our group of friends, because we were ready for it all, and literally one/two months after all those things she did the same, or started to pressure her oh to do the asking in terms of engagement. She definitely likes to have something going on, and really rushes into things without thought. Like three weeks ago she was set on buying a new, bigger, house- met with the bank etc, Now she isn't anymore. These things are not small decisions and she seems to make them on a whim!

I also disagree with many of her choices. In fact, lately, all I seem to do is moan about her latest "thing", whatever it may be. I was talking with dh earlier and said it doesn't seem right to me that I should disagree with ALL her choices, when we are supposed to be best friends. I think our friendship has maybe started to come to a natural end, which is awful as we've been friends for 10 yrs, and now we are both going through the biggest thing of our lives, but I just don't see how a friendship can work when one of us just doesn't think the other is making good choices. I never criticise to her face, which is even worse. I'm being an awful friend to her, and I hate it. It's a tough situation, especially as I don't think she realises at all how I feel.

Huh...rant session from me tonight! To be fair this has been building for a while, this pregnancy is just something to have set me off!

 

[I Love Lucy]

Yea your friend definitely sounds like my sister. My sister has only been with this guy for a year and started talking about moving in with him right at the start of their relationship. Not because it was a good idea but more so because OH and I had already lived together for a year and she seems to think if I'm doing something she needs to do it too regardless of whether it's actually right for her. It makes me crazy because I get that she wants to be where I'm at in life but at the same time I'm 2 years older then her, I've been with my OH longer and therefore our relationship is going to move to different stages before she is necessarily ready for those things. But I just don't think she realizes that. She has basically moved in with the guy, is already pressuring him for an engagement ring, and NTNP a baby all within one year of dating. I mean, I realize some people have relationships that move that quickly and work out but I've never really seen it and with the fighting her and her OH have, I just don't see them being one of those couples. It really makes me worried for her.

Though trying to talk to her about things basically blew up in my face. I was telling her the info my doctor told me about folic acid and stuff you should have done before conceiving but she didn't care about any of that. She basically thinks because our mom didn't do all that stuff (obviously times were different then) that she doesn't have to. I also talked to her about maternity leave and seeing how long she has to be at her new job before getting pg otherwise she'll have to worry about childcare or she'll just do what she usually does and dump all the responsibility on our mom which I don't think is right. She basically said she won't qualify and she doesn't care because her boyfriend makes so much money so her new thing is going on and on about how she is going to quit her job. But she again doesn't realize that her boyfriend isn't going to be working overtime every day of the year, I can't think of any job that stays that busy year round. She also doesn't seem to realize her boyfriend doesn't have a high school diploma or a GED so should he lose his job him finding another one isn't going to be some easy task. But trying to get her to think about these things so they can solve these issues before they get pregnant only made her mad. She seems to think I'm immature and "not the person she thought I was" for voicing my concerns.

I mean, I wasn't trying to be judgmental, I was simply trying to show that I care for her and I don't want to see her struggle. But at the end of the day I can only do and say so much, she ultimately has to take responsibility for her actions.

This has definitely strained our relationship because I can't just pretend that I agree and support what she's doing because I simply don't. I imagine you feel similarly with your friend.

Wow, I didn't mean to vent so much about my sister but I guess it's kind of nice knowing that someone else out there gets it. So whenever you need to vent about your friend, Sarah, feel free because I definitely get how you're feeling.

 

[doggylover]

Brittany we should get the two of them together for a good talking to! It's nice, in a way, that your sister wants to be like you, but as you say everyone's relationship moves at different speeds and putting all that pressure on so soon, especially at that age, is crazy. You've done the best you can, and I'm sure she'll eventually understand you only did it because you care.

I did try to talk to my friend a while back saying I think she should just be content with what she has and not always be rushing whimsically onto the next thing, but she just shrugged it off, and I didn't push the matter. She also has given up her job - as a lawyer - because she "couldn't handle the stress" so they are a one income household, which would be fine, but her oh is self employed and not particularly well paid.

Ugh..I could go on forever about her!!! But today is a new day so I'll try not to let her bother me lol!

How is everyone feeling? Apart from the occasional gagging session at smells, and tiredness, and feeling pretty good. I have my next scan tomorrow so just hoping all goes well.

 

[I Love Lucy]

I'm feeling pretty bad. I've got horrible nausea so I've taken meds for that but the meds cause horrible constipation. I'm just not feeling well at all.

What makes it worse is my OH has to work a 12 hour day today so I've got to take care of myself and all our animals today without any help from him.

I hope your scan goes well tomorrow, Sarah!

I had to reschedule my appointment due to OH's work so I now go in Thursday at 11 AM for the genetic testing appointment.

 

[JennyNBaby]

:wave: Hey ladies! Our little bundle is due April 7th. Have had 24/7 nausea & fatigue. So ready for second trimester!! Last night was worst yet...violent vomiting and dry heaving.

It is too bad how hastily some people rush into having children... I can name PLENTY. And once it all becomes real they complain about the duties of motherhood. Grr. I could write a novel on the subject but I will refrain.

 

[I Love Lucy]

Welcome Jenny, sorry you are suffering with the 24/7 nausea. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'm definitely look forward to Wednesday since it means I'm one week closer to second trimester.

 

[Victoriasbump]

Hi rosemary,

Thanks for the welcome

I'm so excited, this is my first pregnancy. Ive had a scan at 8 weeks when we saw a little bean and heard he heartbeat at 158bpm. It was amazing to hear another heart inside me!!

Hello all you other paddies expecting!! And good luck!! Cxx

 

[magic93]

Thank you! I appreciate this site alot. And congrats to everybody as well.Btw my name is Lisa. And with everything said I can agree too many people do it for the wrong reasons!

 

[doggylover]

Hi and welcome Jenny!!!

I'm glad you ladies are in agreement that some people rush - I mentioned this issue on another thread and some people almost ate me alive!!! But yeah, I agree Jenny, once the reality of motherhood sets in (bearing in mind this girl has never even babysat a child before...) she will be in for a shock!

Brittany sorry you are feeling so awful. Solving one problem and causing another is not great and Jenny I know all about the dry heaving as well. Every morning the smell of my kitchen gets me!

 

[I Love Lucy]

Sarah, I had another thread about my sister on here and the response I got was that I was immature and jealous. Never again will I try to get advice on how to handle that situation here.

My kitchen also gets me dry heaving every morning too. It probably doesn't help that I have a bunch of dirty dishes out there though. I ran out of dish soap and haven't managed to get all of the dishes washed since the smell gets me so sick. OH hasn't been any help with that even though he knows what the smell out there does to me. He's been fantastic with everything with this pregnancy but he still sucks at doing any cleaning.

 

[doggylover]

I don't agree with everything that people say on here, but I hate that people get SO personal when responding to certain things!!

Yep my dh is awful with cleaning to! Must be a man thing!

 

[I Love Lucy]

I definitely think most men are horrible at cleaning. I haven't met a man that is good with housework. It really gets me frustrated especially when I feel so lousy. I need my OH's help and his response to doing housework is later but later never seems to come.

 

[doggylover]

I actually had a massive crying session at my dh last night telling him he isn't being supportive enough, and part of it was he needs to do more cleaning! I know he is doing his best, and he said that, to which I responded "well do better!" he is a wonderful, wonderful man, but he can be lazy, and he isn't great at voicing emotional stuff. I told him he needs to be more emotionally supportive. All this while sobbing uncontrollably!

 

[doggylover]

So even though i was told this appointment would be 3 hours....it was 1! Not complaining as it was just the scan, but I was a bit confused as to why it was so short! Interestingly, here in northern Ireland we do NOT get genetic testing done as standard. You can opt to have it done at 14 weeks, but you have to pay (only £27). The reason being that terminations are illegal in northern Ireland, so it's not offered as standard. Dh and I still need to discuss, but I think I would like it done. Its For downs syndrome and spina bifida, and there is a family history of sb.

Here's the pic - it looks like an actual baby today! Cannot believe how much she has grown in just two weeks! My dates today were consistent with my conception dates, so the last measurements must have been a bit off! So still 10+1, and due April 9th!

https://i1156.photobucket.com/albums/p568/sljay1/66493c0af4b21ccb1d30feb403341600.jpg

 

[I Love Lucy]

Sarah, are you feeling better after you had the chat with your DH? I was trying to confide in my OH one day about how draining the MS was making me feel emotionally. I think we discussed in her earlier about sometimes feeling so badly that it's hard to think we're actually strong enough to get through it. And my OH said nothing. I think a large reason for that is OH just doesn't know what to say. They don't experience pg the same way we do (as I keep reading it all my pg books) but him not saying anything makes me feel alone and unsupported. I wish we could just come up with a list of all the things our OH's should do and say for whatever issues we have so none of us have to have any of these sob fests because our OH's aren't doing what we need.

Also, your little baby is so lovely! I can't wait for my scan tomorrow. Also, genetic testing here isn't standard either. You can opt to have it or you can opt not to. It's not something you have to have. Though we do allow terminations but I'm not sure what all the rules are about that as I never intend to terminate a pregnancy.

Oh and you have been taking your folic acid right? That is supposed to help prevent spina bifida. I'm sure your baby is going to be perfect!

 

[doggylover]

Yep I actually take a higher, prescribed dose of folic, as my parents first baby was born with spina bifida. That is one thing which has made me really ponder getting this test done. However, reading the material it turns out its only a blood test, and that if you are flagged as high risk you are then offered an amniocentesis, which I wouldn't be willing to have. Also, I would never terminate my baby (plus I'd have to travel to England to do it lol!) so it really isn't going to matter. No matter what, this baby is coming! I would like to be prepared for the worst, just in case, but I'm not willing to do an amniocentesis so there is no point just doing the blood test.

Hmm, I dunno about dh. This morning we both lay in as scan wasn't til 10. He got up before me, but when I came down the dishes from the night before were still in the drying rack, (i was too tired to put them away last night!) and the dishwasher wasn't empty. I asked him why he hadn't thought to do any of that, and he just went "ummm" to which I replied "THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT LAST NIGHT!!!!"

I think you're right, they just don't get it. The experience this whole thing in such an abstract way. Dh said to me today "it's like you having a cold. I know you have it, but I dunno how you feel, or anything about it" which is so true. I think seeing the baby today he has definitely started to feel more connected though!

I'm so excited for your scan pic tomorrow! You'll be a whole week ahead of me (my date was put back to my original) so your baby will be even more "baby like" than mine today!!!

 

[Laura91]

Hi everyone Mind if I join?

I'm 21, OH is 23 and we're expecting our first on 27th March! So far i've had no morning sickness at all (*touch wood*) just extreme tiredness all the time

I had my first scan on 5th Sept and they put me back 5 days (my original due date was 22nd March) which I was expecting as I used OPKs so knew when I ovulated but had irregular periods

Because they put me back at my scan I get to have another scan on 21st Sept dance so they can do the testing for downsyndrome (sp?) as they dated me at 11w and you have to be 11w3d+

I read the thread from the beginning so i'll answer some of the questions that popped up throughout..

Amanda - Looks like we're due the same date! Also from the same area too Only 1 day until your scan! That's ridiculous that your midwife wouldn't give you her number, what if you wanted/needed to call her? My mum keeps joking saying that she thinks i'll go slightly over and have an April Fool's baby Cute owl hat btw!

Sarah - Totally agree with some of the other threads being a little harsh with people. I don't think you need to get personal just because you don't agree with others opinions Lovely scan picture !

Brittany - Such a cute early scan picture Me & OH thought the same about the genetic testing (wouldn't change anything but would be prepared) so we've decided to have it done. Also, we'll definitely be finding out the gender, OH went through a couple of days where he wasn't sure whether he wanted to find out - I soon changed his mind I must of got a good male as it tends to be him that's doing the housework lately Although he won't touch the wash basket

Hayley - I've thought about getting a doppler in the last couple of days but I think i'd get a bit addicted to using it and would worry like hell if I couldn't find baby's heartbeat

The only names we can both agree on at the minute are Sophie and Max. We both like lots of names but don't agree on any of them

Talking bumps; i'm with Amanda Been in maternity jeans since around 8-9 weeks due to the ridiculous bloat (and pre-belly I already had ) Everyone was convinced it was going to be twins (lots in both sides) but turns out to be just the one!

I have photos in the second post in my journal of bump/bloat and scans

Hope I didn't babble on too much! x

 

[JennyNBaby]

Sarah great scan picture!!! So cool to see it actually looking like a baby!!

Welcome Laura!

No relief in sight from MS. Threw up again a bit ago. I am so pitiful these days.

Brittany, I got a nice bag of magazines and freebies from my doc...been enjoying reading the articles and looking at pictures. Hope you get some goodies at some stage!!