Hi, I'm 25 and nearly 29 weeks pregnant. The baby's father if thats the right word for him was pretty much useless. He had been living at mine virtually continually since December last year and never tried to do anything. Didnt try and get a job but would continually moan when I went out to work or uni that he was bored whilst I was at work, moaned if I made him tidy up whilst I was out (It was mainly his mess) he wanted me to wash up the cups etc he used all day whilst I was out at work, what was wrong with him getting off his backside and washing them etc. Moaned if he had to make dinner and made out that he was hard done by if he had made dinner anddone anything else at all during the day, yeah cos he was really busy all day.
I paid for everything all the food, his drink (booze), all the bills the dog and cat etc etc. I got nothing from him. Although he did get money every fortnight from the govt for being a waste of space lazy arsed git.
Then I found out I was pregnant when I first told him his first reaction was why had I told my mum first, she called whilst I was at doctors and I couldnt lie to her. Then he seemed really excited about the whole idea and we kinda, in the way that he talks about anything occasionaly moan and grunt, spoke about the whole idea of having a baby. It totally wasnt planned and decided that it would be ok and he would work too as I wouldnt be workign straight after the baby born and that we would need things. I was struggling to pay everything as it was at time.
However, two days later he decided that he didnt want the baby and told me that it was basically him or the baby. I totally not into blackmail and I couldnt really ever consider getting rid of a baby its just my beliefs not agianst others doing it its just not me. I was really upset about it but told him that I wouldnt get rid, he moaned but accepted it. He went back to his place for a while (paid for by govt) then came back and decided he wanted to be part of the babys life although moaned when I made him spend some of his money of groceries for the week etc. Especially when he couldnt get his booze! I wanted to make sure I would have enough saved by for the baby, but he didnt seem to understand this.
Although when my mum said that she had a pram for us brand new top of the range one that she had been given used for about a week from another family member who bought it then went abroad and didnt take it with her I was greatful and he moaned that he was not involved in the decision amking and buying of the cot. Err we have no money this was offered who would turn it down????
Every little thing seemed to be an effort he went to first scan and for a few weeks after was really nice no moaning but still did virtually nothing in house. Then all of a sudden just on my birthday at 18weeks pregnant I told him again that I couldnt live the way we were, things were getting silly I had no money by time I had paid all the bills he would happily spend £10 on beer a week from asda if not more and nothing else and I couldnt do it. I told him that things had to change I needed to see some changes made. that he would get a job stop drinking and being a twat basically and speak to me instead of just moan about him not getting his own way all the time.
He agreed to this and asked if I could drop him at job centre the next day. I thought great yeah he is trying. Next day came (my one day off that week) and he wanted me to spend the whole day with him in the job centre looking for a job, he couldnt even do that on is own. I told him I had washing etc to do so would drop him off and as it is only around corner from where live he could walk back as he would know way.
He moaned I wasnt going to look with him can he not look for a job for himself like I did? I had looked on the job centre web page the night before for jobs that would be suitable for him and had found loads that were immediate starts, he arrived back at my house within mins of me arriving home baring in mind its a five min drive and a ten min walk he obvioulsy had looked really hard for a job (not) and told me that there was nothign available apart from one crappy job that he would have to produce a CV for and that the job centre could not help him write a CV for atleast 3 weeks. I have never heard this before so he couldnt find anything yet. I told him I would make his CV if he gave me the information I made my own afterall, but he never gave me any info. despite the fact he had even said if he got his CV by the Thursday of that week it was Tuesday at time then he would be guarenteed a job. However, when his money came in on the Wednesday morning for the fortnight from the government he decided that I wasnt supporting him enough and not giving him what he wanted (to do nothing, get sex on tap - not something you want when suffering nausea and be treated with booze twenty four hours a day for doing nothing) so decided to go back to his. That was it for me and he told me that he never wanted to see me again. Then he texted me and asked how I was I replied nicely and he texted a few times.
but just like a hi how are you sort of thing, then after my 20 week scan I sent by email photos of the scan to his mum as she had internet to send them too and put a copy on my facebook for my friends to see. His mum then called me to say she couldnt see the pics so could I send them again which I did along with someone else I sent the pics to in my family as they hadnt been able to see the photos either.
Second time my family member said the photos were much clearer and she had received them. I herad nothing more from his mum so assumed she hadreceived hers OK to. I couldnt see why she wouldnt, but he phoned and moaned that she couldnt see them (he lives South England she lives North England) and that he never saw them either. Well she usually can see them and print them to send to him so why she couldnt this time is beyond me (my printer doesnt work thats why I emailed instead of printing and sending).
HE then complained that I had no right to show the photos of the scan to my friends on the internet (one of his friends who is added as a friend of mine saw them and told him) and that one of his favourite sayings he prob wasnt father anyway (despite the dates conceived are his birthday when we were on holiday and didnt go anywhere apart from each other). I had to tell him that they were my photos to do with what I liked with at the end of the day that is what they are I paid the money to get them from the hospital and I should have the right to show my friends, Im sure he showed his friends the photos from teh first scan that he had in his wallet at first.
He then told me to F off and that he didnt want anything to do with my or my baby, so that was that for me he wouldnt be involved at all. But then over Christmas I got all these texts from him saying how he had a rubbish Christmas he wanted us to be friends etc etc (i didnt have any credit to text him) and to be honest didnt want to so then he texted nasty again saying that I couldnt be bothered to try. I had done nothing but try and wasnt going to be hurt by him again I just got my life back on track from him and my finances sorted from last time. Why would I go back from that into a mess jsut to please him and have nothing for my baby???
OK I think I ranted here, Oops sorry
but there now you know why I going to be a single mum.
We better off without them, as people say, its easy to be a father to a child but it takes someone special to be a DAD!
he really doesn't sound like he knows what he wants. congrats on your babyy. I hope all is going well!
to all of you x
