Friends

[Hopeful42nd]

Yep, that's hitting the nail on the head Blessed! He's stressing, not so much about baby but about work ( he put in an app for a new job that he'll hate cause it's a stepping stone to where he would like to be in the next 3-5 years), house (we will need to move and affording all the fees etc on one income could be hard, we may have to compromise on an in between place, but he really really doesn't want that). I'm sure there is more those are just hat I know about. He's apologized and realizes he shouldn't take it out on me, especially being pregnant. I told him my emotions are very surfaced, I am sensitive, and being a bit less pushy and argumentative with me would be in all of our best interests. I think it's going to get better. He talked to me about how to tell and we did our facebook announcements tonight. I'm much happier now

ER - you are amazing and strong! Good for you making that plan and getting out of the toxic environment. He needs to pay for his actions and unfortunately since he could t put baby first he will lose some privledges of a responsible father. I hope someone is helping you move your things and to be there in case he decides to show up. Have you told him or will you just be gone when he returns? Get some rest, the baby needs it, and don't forget to watch your blood sugar!

 

[Ersurgeongirl]

I told him. He's in nebraska for another 2 weeks. I told him id be out by the end of the month. He's really stupid. We finally talked, instead of texted, and he's just soooooo dumb. Ill explain later.

 

[Ersurgeongirl]

basically he said he needed an escape from the stress from our relationship/baby. i told him he should have taken a vacation. just stupid. he also said that this girl makes him feel intelligent and funny... no shit shes 21 and dumber than a box of rocks... shes white trash trailer trash with 2 duis and an assault and battery charge in the past year. cmon. you really downgraded yourself... take a cue from beyonce and "upgrade ya"! so i really dont feel bad any more. its like ive received this new clarity where i will raise this child to the best of my abilities to be the best person he or she can be with the help of my family... funny, now hes offering to pay my "rent" since i told him my parents are charging me hes offered to let me keep the house and him make the payments, but i hate that house and its in a bad neighborhood and he thinks ill have time to cut the grass and be with baby.... please, get real. i told him that im not out to ruin him financially (ooops white lie) but i want a decent relationship between us so he can know whats going on with baby and i want my baby to be 110% cared for and college tution fully paid for by the time baby is 10 years old, but he doesnt know that last part. i informed him that I wont take his money now, except maybe a tiny bit in the later part of 2nd tri and third when my insulin needs will increase dramatically and my monthly medical costs for insulin, pump sites, and test strips will also go up dramatically.... but every other financial aspect we will settle in court, because it will be official and if he renigs, he goes to jail

 

[Sugarlys]

Wow ER. I am so thankful you have a safe place to go to at your parents. Did he seem upset that you were leaving? I hope your move goes smoothly - take care of yourself!

Hopeful - I am glad you guys were able to have that conversation. I don't think we realize how much men take on in terms of responsibility for their families...like the pressure they put themselves under. Last year when we were building our house, my husband didn't sleep for MONTHS worrying about the mortgage, etc. I am glad that you worked things out - how did the facebook announcement go??

Blessed - good thing you aren't working - sounds like IVF is a full time job! (And by not working, I mean regular hours...I am sure you are working harder than most of us!!) Hope the US goes well today!

AFM, exhausted! I was in bed last night at 9 and slept until 6...feel like I could go right back to bed. I have a long busy day today and then the funeral out of town tomorrow. Counting down to Friday when I can tell the fam!! Have a good day!

 

[blessedlife]

Hopeful, I'm really glad you guys were able to clear the air. Those are stressful things you're both dealing with and it'll be easier now that he's voiced his worries. Now a bunch of flowers will really seal the apology and move you guys onward. What's his email, I'll let him know! J/K!
Congrats on announcing it to everyone, how fun!

ER, what you have there is a weak man. A weak man will never be a good fit for a strong woman like yourself. You need an equal as your partner and I bet you find that when you graduate and work in the legal field. Absolutely make everything legal, that way his wages can simply be garnished if he doesn't pay. I'm so sorry for the hurt he is causing you.


Hi Sugarlys! I'm glad things are keeping you busy, Friday will come faster. How far away is the funeral? I really think that telling everyone this weekend will be such a joyous event. Have a good day!

OK, gotta get my stuff together and head on out. I'll let you know if there's anything exciting about the US!

 

[Hopeful42nd]

Ersurgeongirl- So he says he needed an escape from a relationship where he hardly sees you at all, and a baby that he supposedly discussed with you and wanted and isn't born yet? And his way to escape was to sleep with someone else while he is supposed to be working? Wow, what a winner. I'm glad you have come to terms with moving on and just taking care of you and your baby. Thank god you have your family to help you for now get out of the situation. And good for you turning down living at a place you dislike under his money, as that's just a way for him to try to control you. I think he is going to have a rude awakening with all of this, he wanted less responsibility, now he'll have more responsibility and less of the benefit.

Sugarlys - good luck with your busy day and the funeral. I hope it's a beautiful goodbye that you can all share. As for sleep, I wish I could tell you it gets better but I'm still tired! I'm in the second trimester now but I'm 13 w2d and still not change. I cried last night for pretty much no reason, gotta love those hormones! We put on Facebook two different things. I put, 'what rhymes with maybe and starts with a b? October 2012' as my status, and K put ' we are expanding our house by two feet in October' on his status. I think some ppl still don't get his, lol.

Blessed- for sure keep us posted! Hope it goes well, and thanks about the announcement congrats.

 

[Ersurgeongirl]

but hey, on the good side of things.... ive been able to find baby's heartbeat with my doppler every other day. I decided to opt into all the screening... just in case he decides to fight me and say im an unfit mother and that i dont have the baby's best interest in mind. trying to finish up papers last minute... be back later.

 

[blessedlife]

ER, I think you're smart to cover all your bases, but I can't see anyone being able to prove you are anything other than a strong, loving mother. What's the baby's average heartbeat. I've heard that you can predict the sex based on that.


The clinic called with my doses for tonight. They further reduced my follistim to 25!!!! (Down from 100 which was down from 150). I've had four nights of injections, tonight will be #5, & my estrogen is 933. They also said to add the third injectible, Ganirelex, tonight. I'm kinda excited b/c that is supposed to be added for about three nights and then trigger so we're moving right along! They said my follicles were growing just fine.

 

[Hopeful42nd]

Blessed - sweet, sounds like the meds are doing just what they are supposed to. You are so close! Good luck with the new stuff, I don't know if you get side effects from all this but I'm hoping not for you.

Ersurgeongirl- the testing is really nothing, blood taken, and an ultrasound or two. You get to see your babes more often! Plus you don't have to do anything with the info. It's just a precaution. I don't think I'd have amino done if they were concerned. To me I just want the not risky things. I don't think he can say that based off not testing but who knows what he'll do when faced with papers

 

[blessedlife]

Thanks Hopeful! Ummm, the one side effect I've noticed is that I'm really gassy.

 

[Ersurgeongirl]

Don't worry, I'm a gas machine too

Babys hb is between 150-160 every time. The bf and his mom called me today begging me to move in with his parents so they can help raise the baby..... oh hell to the mother fucking no! I have my own parents and they are better than yours... hei doesn't know that his mom knows... hehehe. He has now offered to let me stay in his house and he moves out and also buy me a brand new car and he would make the payments.... no, all you need to do is stop making payments and I'm out on the street with no transportation to work. He must think I'm stupid or something....

 

[blessedlife]

ER, I can't imagine living with my ex's parents, miserable! You've got it right that he keeps offering help/$$ but in ways that he would maintain control over you. He wants you to live in a place that's his, drive a car that's his all while he's doing exactly what he wants?? I don't think so! You are so smart to make it legal and just get the money he should be paying so you live your life in a manner that is right for you and your baby! Have you heard anything back from your parents' attorney? I'm so glad you have family you can depend on during this.

 

[Hopeful42nd]

Blessed- haha, me too of the gas, one of my fun pregnancy things, so start getting used to it now! So day two of the new drug! One more to go?

Ersurgeongirl - blessed is right, he is looking for a way to keep control over you. Althought, I'm sure he's doing it as well if there is court involvement so he can say 'hey I offered her this this and this and she refused. What do you mean by his mom knows? Knows that he cheated or that you are seeking the money through legal means? Either way I'm sure his parents will support him even though he is a dumbass, as that's what parents are supposed to do. I'm thinking back to when you told them you were pregnant, and their odd reaction. Do you think they knew their sons behavior or that he wasn't ready to be a responsible dad, and that's why they werent immediately supportive?

 

[blessedlife]

So they are re-upping my Follistim to 100, which I think is still a pretty low dose. The US showed follies are growing but my place doesn't talk too much about specifics, they just said everything is moving along as it should. I think I'll have at least another 4 days of injections. Tomorrow I just do blood work, then I go to school for an "exam" (only 12 questions!) in one class and a quiz in another. After that I signed up for a clinic to learn how to suture. BUSY!

 

[Hopeful42nd]

Blessed- I'm sure they are very familiar with altering the dosages to get exactly what they want to see. Then it's harvest time!! Suture clinic sounds awesome! Do you guys practice on piglets or something like science class? Get good at that! Everyone appreciates a doc who can leave them the smallest scar!

Well now for my fun day, and I mean fun sarcastically. So I'm sure you all remember the stuff about our roof. Well we filed and served the individuals necessary, and they have like five days left to deal with it/respond. So today just after noon got my son up from nap and as I come back in our living room I see the one guys truck drive by. Not hard to notice as the company decal is on the rear window. So his friend lives 3 doors down ( I know awkward huh) so I just thought 'okay he's allowed to visit his friend' and thought nothing of it. Well about five minutes after the drunk father's van with ladder atop comes driving there also. Well the father has never been over there, really has no business there, so now I'm nervous. He gets out and walks up to the house gawking at mine the entire way. At this point I'm thinking that maybe the guy three doors over is going to have his roof done. I cant prevent them from working. About 25 minutes later when my son and I are in the kitchen having lunch, I hear the two loud vehicles start up. Then I see the youngest son out my front window on the sidewalk. He walked onto the road and starts taking pictures on my home, while I'm inside. Well I lost it, Burt's into tears and started shaking, watched out the windows scared that the others are coming on the property, etc. they waited in running cars until he walked back over to then got in and they drove off all slow and staring.
So I contacted my legal advisor and she got very annoyed. She said it is not at all acceptable under the circumstances of the case and that we both have legal representation. Their lawyer should have called ours to have a time arranged to come and take photos if necessary, and not the clients do it. It's not illegal what they did, but definately not how it should have been handled. She said that she would immediately be contacting their lawyer to make him aware of his clients actions.
What the hell? I'm sorry but taking a photo from yards away which will not show ant detail is not going to help their case any, so was that done simply to intimidate me?

 

[blessedlife]

Hopeful, it's okay. Here's my guess at what they were thinking. They were thrown for a loop when they saw you were actually taking legal action against them. I'm sure in the past a threat of lien got unsatisfied customers to pay and leave them alone. So they get together to talk about it and probably drink. They have a limited understanding of the law but they've seen some tv and they think they need evidence, "Brilliant"! They stumble back to their cars and take pics of the house to say, "See, it's not so bad!" I'm sure they're patting themselves on the back. However, none of the pics mean squat since you had the roof fixed. They're just in a state of denial/stress realizing that they are finally going to be held accountable for their shoddy work.

It was smart to contact your lawyer, they'll be reprimanded for what they did. That should go nicely with their hangover. I'm sorry it made you scared, stupid idiot boys.

Oh, and I do think we work on pig's feet. Better to learn a pig's foot than on a person!

 

[Hopeful42nd]

It's not very bright of them that's for sure. Especially after the last time he showed up here after being told not to, that we'd call the cops. Man these guys just won't learn. I bet they will use that they were just visiting a friend as an excuse. But I'm sorry all three of you show up and take pics of my house, I think that was the motive and the neighbor was a cover for it. Oh, I forgot to mention, I have a picture of him walking out front of my house and of the vehicles parked on my street. Like to see them deny it now. I know my emotional state is a mess cause of hormones, but I kept as level headed as I could, I didn't call the police for nothing, I had the presence of mind to take the pics, and was able to clearly speak to my lawyer. This is really hard while being pregnant. My poor husband having to call his crying wife from work and not able to leave or do anything, it's killing him too. He made a joke that he just wants permission from our lawyer to go over there and smack them all upside the head, maybe knock some sense into them, lol.

I'm okay now, I just hate that fearful, 'I don't know what they are going to do to us next' feeling. They have been irrational and unpredictable so far, so who knows?
As for the roof is fixed, the only part we got fixed was the tops of the peaks and the portion they left unshingled and exposed, as well as roof vents in the proper locations. We still need the roof replaced as they didn't use ice and water guard or do valleys, so by next winter we could have a leak. It's okay for temporary basis.

I love they I was right about pigs. It must be because their skin is as close as you can get to a humans in an animal? I couldn't imagine chicken or turkey, trying to sew up those friggin things after stuffing them is so hard, the skin just tears. Anyways enough about dad animals, are you managing to keep organized, or is all this overload getting to ya?

 

[Ersurgeongirl]

His parents knows he cheated, he wouldn't tell them! He told them we got into a big argument and I'm leaving him.... Sure, try to make me look like the bad guy... Too bad they already knew from me! Hahaha.my sisters boss just paid for a mani/pedi for me... She works at a nail salon.

 

[blessedlife]

Hopeful, I completely understand that horrible feeling. You did everything right and make sure you get an extra big hug from hubby when he comes home.

As for staying organized, I'm doing okay. I thrive under pressure, one of the reasons I want to be an ER doc, maybe b/c I don't have time to stress about it. I have a big calendar on my desk and as long as that is accurate I'm okay but I've left a few things off lately and that seriously stresses me out. It's helped that the clinic said that the follicles that grow a steady pace have the best chance for mature eggs so I'm willing for this to take all the time it needs when I normally have NO patience!

ER, I'm glad his parents know the truth. What an ass to try and make you look like the bad guy when he's flying in another woman! I'm also glad you got a mani/pedi. I love them, they just brighten up you world.

 

[Sugarlys]

Hey ladies,
I am home from the funeral....long day. I will respond later, but just thought I'd pop in to say hey!