Funniest Toddler Stories!

[Lovn.sunshine]

Haha these are too funny!! I'm far from having a toddler yet but I am definitely going to subscribe to this thread! I love this section. Nice to have a place to stop in for a good laugh!

 

[fides]

took DS1 to a friend's house today for a play date. they have a cat. DS1 walks in the house, sees the cat on the floor, and decides to give it a hug by just laying down on top of it. i think the cat was too scared to move.

 

[Missy86]

I forgot about this

When I was in Wales last week my parents, Rhys, Liam and I went to lunch at harvester and Rhys started getting over excited
He was running about and climbed in a booth that was empty, it was separated to the next booth by a glass wall, two blokes were having a meal and Rhys leant over and tried to wack one of the blokes on the head
Seriously I could have died of embarrassment on the spot, luckily neither bloke noticed

 

[JessicaAnne]

We've just got back from Blackpool.
In the Arcades I was carrying Noah around so he wasn't bored and he kept slapping everyone that walked past luckily he's got a cheeky grin so no one got grumpy

Months ago I took Evie to see my uncle, we went round his friends house and their cooker was dirty (I obsess over a clean cooker lol) and Evie burst out with "ewwww that's dirty", I nearly died on the spot!

 

[Bevziibubble]

My toddler is so funny!

Some of the funny things she's done are:

Waving at dog poop every time she sees it on the ground!

She waves at spat out food! The other week in a restaurant a toddler dropped some food from his mouth and Holly kept leaning out of her highchair to wave at it!

She kissed the dog's willy when she first learnt to kiss!

She handed my dad a pair of my knickers!

She sometimes lies across my stomach and humps herself to sleep!

Ask her what her favourite food is and she will point at herself

Sometimes she leans down and picks up her food with her mouth like a dog

Every time we go shopping she has to pick a grapefruit and hold it the whole way around the store!

Yesterday in the local shop she was leaning out of her pushchair to try and grab a crate of beer and then a bottle of wine. The lady behind us was looking quite amused, then Holly leaned out of her pushchair to wag her finger at the lady's son in his pushchair to 'tell him off'!

She's recently started saying 'oh dear!' but only at exciting and happy things!

She makes me laugh so much every day!

 

[izzlesnizzle]

I was giving LO her dinner this evening and she wouldn't eat it. Eventually she took the broccoli out of my hand that I was holding up to her and I thought ooh shes going to eat it......no......she put it straight into her cup of water! I had to laugh, if I didn't i'd have cried, the amount of food that's wasted here is terrible!

 

[ExpectingK]

Jasmine was talking to the kids next door through a hole in the fence. I heard her telling the 'It's coming out. My poo is coming out"!

 

[Bevziibubble]

Yesterday we were letting Holly walk around naked as the weather was boiling, and it gave her a chance to have nappy free time. She came over to me, handed me my shoes and sat down so that I could out them on. Then she wandered out into the garden naked! It made me laugh that she would think to put her shoes on but then go into the garden naked!

Then when she came back in, she climbed up on me and pooped on my leg!

 

[AngelofTroy]

Micah isn't a toddler but I hope it's okay to post?

Yesterday we were having a picnic with other mummies and babies and my friend put her apple down for 2 seconds and Micah crawled at top speed and grabbed it, and took a bite out of it. He only has 4 teeth so that was the impressive! He then stole the same woman's water bottle and drank from it and then when we moved it he crawled off to someone we didn't even know and took their water!

 

[jozylynn896]

I'm gonna love this section. it'll be a while since Noahs only 3 months.

I have one from me though, my mom told me when I was little we used to shower together and I'd crawl around the shower and lift my leg up and pee like a dog. Yikes! How eembarrassing.: p

 

[Eccleston2011]

Grace stores things in her mouth... like large blocks or other toys. Well today she had a block in her mouth and she tried really hard to stack another one on top of it.


Also today she took a bow out of her hair and I fake gasped and she tried to put it back in and it kept falling out and she just kept laughing and putting it back on her head, she sat for five minutes doing this.

 

[dizzy65]

My son has done some amusing things too hehe i love this thread!

Yesterday it was windy out and those big dandillions were loosing there fuzzies and he goes "look mum spiders, Mum spiders" i look up at the sky and he says "awe yucky mummy spiders" and runs back inside lol

the other day he was playing in the pool and a bug landed on him and he screamed so loud and said "spider" DH looked at me and i laughed and he rolled his eyes at me as he thinks its my fault DS is so much of a girly boy haha

we were at his cousins birthday party and DS has this thing about everything his clothes gets wet he takes everything off which is fine at home, not so fine when he decides to strip down in front of like 20-30 people. ugh lol

His new favorite word is "oopsies" he tried to squash a bug with his shoe and he lifted his shoe up and the bug flew away and he says "oopsies"

hehe he is so funny

 

[Randianne]

My LO has recently learned 'up' and 'down'. Unfortunately, she has some pronunciation issues. I was mortified when I was trying to shop and she was crying and yelling "Damn! Damn! Damn!" the whole time because she wanted "down" and mean mommy wouldn't let her.

 

[Natsku]

A few minutes ago Maria was singing very loudly about boobies. My boobies. Embarrassing child!

 

[WanaBaba]

Love this thread!
A few days ago I was brushing LOs teeth and asked if I could have a look in her mouth for new teeth, she then ran away into the kitchen and started looking in the coupboards and the fridge, I asked her what she was doing and she said 'cant find new teeth mummy'

She has started saying 'wait there mummy!' While pointing her finger at me, it makes me laugh every time it's the cutest thing!

She has also started saying 'two minutes' for example today we went to the park and she was running around the big bit of grass chasing a sheet of paper (strange child i know lol) I asked her to come over so I could put more sun cream on her and she shouted over 'two minutes!' Haha, oh dear!

 

[dizzy65]

I Remembered another one lol!

right after i had just brought the new baby home, we had fallen asleep on the couch and DS had come up and put acup full of water in my hand with out me knowing it, and i woke up and flinched i guess and i got the cup of water all over me lol i was too shocked to even know what was going on all i said was "oh dear" haha leason learned, never fall asleep with DS around

 

[LaughOutLoud]

Went docs today and my 3yr old wanted to talk to the doctor so she wouldnt let me talk and kept interrupting shouting 'its my turn, mummy be quite'. The doctor was a lady who was actually of a really big build. Then as the doctor was typing away, my child went quiet for a few seconds sitting on my lap, right next to the doctor and suddenly asks ' mummy, is this a man or a lady?' I tried to ssshhh her but she repeated wanting an answer!

 

[emzilouu]

This thread is making me crease with some of the comments!!
My Best friend who is my sons godmother and we call her auntie too recently taught my son to "smack mummy's bottom" and the other week we were in town and let me ds walk while we was there as we didn't need much, my friend needed to go into poundland and when we was in the que my son decided to smack the woman in fronts arse! it was soooooo funny!! he accompanied the smack with a "oooh" as that's what I always do when he smacks my bum lol was so funny! the whole of the que were in stitches thankfully the woman found it funny too

 

[WanaBaba]

Another one to add, LO woke up in the middle of the night last night to ask for a drink, after she'd had a drink she told me it was 'too dark' and could I 'turn it off please?' (Meaning the dark lol)

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

Streaked! Took her nappy off then streaked in the garden! Next door didn't no where to look lol