Funny Things Your Child Has Said!

[Noodlebear]

That is incredible! I literally can't wait to be able to share stories like this

 

[PandaMao]

These are too funny. I'm a long way off, but I can't wait till I start hearing these sorts of things myself.

 

[MizzLu]

My LO has just got to the copying certain things stage, not too much of a problem until my DH did something and then said 'oh s**t' and of course Cooper decided to copy it! Bad daddy!

 

[Foogirl]

Abby is often very unintentionally funny, she's had some cracking one liners.

A few that spring to mind;

About 18 months old at the doctors we gave her one of those tongue sticks to play with. She leans up and puts it into my chest saying "stick in mummy's cleavage" You really don't want for "cleavage" to be one of the first words your child learns!

At about 2 we were sitting watching a programme with monkeys. There were some baby ones and I asked my husband "what are baby monkey's called" and she pipes up "I think they are called Steve"

At a restaurant aged about 3 she was pulling at my top and I asked her not to saying "nobody wants to see my boobies" she responds with "daddy does" It wouldn't have had the same impact if the waitress hadn't have been at the table and heard the whole thing.

She makes us laugh at least once a day - but always quietly as she hates being laughed at!

 

[Foogirl]

The other night Jack was brushing his teeth and my oh said to him, have you brushed your bottom teeth Jack?Jack replies, no just my mouth teeth, Daddy.
My mum didn't stop laughing for ages!

Still giggling at this one.

 

[Lianne1986]

Foogirl - I am crying with laughter hahaha

 

[MelliPaige]

Mines not born yet.. But my friend had her baby boy and her then 4 year old sister out and we were looking at girl clothes, my friend says "I wish my husband would let me dress him in girl clothes, they are just so cute!" And her sister says "well if you wanted to dress him like a girl, you should have named him a girl name."
We just about died haha

 

[Lianne1986]

Mines not born yet.. But my friend had her baby boy and her then 4 year old sister out and we were looking at girl clothes, my friend says "I wish my husband would let me dress him in girl clothes, they are just so cute!" And her sister says "well if you wanted to dress him like a girl, you should have named him a girl name."
We just about died haha

 

[kmbabycrazy]

Toby's friend is coming round to play and have dinner tomorrow and I was wondering about what to make for them so I asked Toby, "do you think Nathan likes hot dogs?" And he looked at me like I was stupid and said very matter-of-factly, "Mum, everybody likes hotdogs!"

Just about peed my pants.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Oh God these are amazing. Dying at 'mouth teeth'

Last night when I was trying to get Lucas to bed I was getting his things ready while saying the words to The Gruffalo's Child (if you've not read it):
"The Gruffalo said that no gruffalo should,
Ever set foot in the deep dark wood,
'Why not, why not?',
Because if you do,
The big bad mouse will be after you..."

For the next 20 minutes Lucas kept holding his foot up and shouting "foot! Look, I said foot, the mouse is going to get me!". It took me until we were actually in bed reading it to realise what he was talking about, I was crying laughing!
I had to explain to him that the words were "SET foot", not "said foot"

 

[HappyAnjeL]

Last night Abby picked up OHs cell phone put it to her ear...


LO- O (Hello for some reason is just O) yeah, Lola, Kiki, (gibberish goes here)
OH- Who are you talking to?
ME- Is it your boyfriend?
LO- YEAH mommy (kisses phone)!
OH- Abigail NO boys!
LO- BYE (and throws phone down and gives the look she does when she knows she did something wrong)

 

[kmbabycrazy]

Haha. Lily keeps picking up the phone to say hello.

The funny thing she's doing at the moment is everytime I say "mummy" she says hi.

Examples.

Me: Lily say mummy.
Lily: Hiiiii

Me: Give that to mummy.
Lily: hiiiiiii

Me: Where's mummy?
Lily: Hiiiiiii

OH: Say daddy.
Lily: duda (how she's saying daddy now)
Oh: Say mummy
Lily: Hiiiii

I don't know why. My friend told me something funny her little girl is doing at the moment (she's 4 months older than Lily)

Friend: Hi Autumn
Autumn: Hi Daddy
Friend: I'm not daddy
Autumn: Hi gorgeous.

My friend is like that's more like it haha

 

[AC1987]

I can't wait til my LO says funny things!

 

[lindsmom12]

My LO keeps running around the house pretending to sneeze but his "AHH CHOO" sounds more like "ohhh sh*t" so now we have a cussing LO already haha

 

[Girly922]

It's going to be a little while before I can post any of my own on here. But this one was from my niece to my sister. I had invited them to my baby shower and my sister was trying to explain what relation the baby will be to my niece, and what relation I am to my sister. For reference, my sister is 15 years older than me.

Sister - the baby will be your cousin, auntie Georgie is my sister
Niece - but she can't be your sister
Sister - why not?
Niece - because she's like a teenager and you're old.
Sister - thanks!!

I'm 23, nice to know she thinks I'm so young still!! Lol.

 

[Dragonfly]

William seen this on my pillow. This means I cant take my pillow up a mountain. Makes perfect sense.

 

[Noodlebear]

Dragonfly I almost spat my drink everywhere laughing that's brilliant!

 

[Lianne1986]

Jaiden likes to count! walking in a car park he starts counting cars!

one car - but it sounds like hes saying w*nker lol

 

[2ndHeartbeat]

Jason's got some horrible gas today.

Robert (to Jason, after he farted)- "You f*ckin' stink."
Me - "Jason did you poop?"
Jason - "No I fugin stink"

so much lols. Don't judge me. He knooows not to say that word, he just did because dad did

 

[Foogirl]

Reading "sniffles for bear" this morning with Abby. Bear is so poorly he starts to make a Will. Abby wants to know what it is and the following conversation follows;

Me: A will is a list of things that you own, and you say who you want to give it all to when you go to live with the Angels.
Abby: Have you made a list?
Me: Yes, Daddy and I made a list after you were born and we've said that everything we have, everything in the house, will be yours.
Abby: (looks amazed then looks concerned) But what about all the sharp things, because I'm not allowed to touch those.
Me: Ahh well, if you are too little to have the sharp things...and the money...then we've said that another grown up will look after it until you are old enough.
Abby: So I can't just buy things? I'd want to buy a new dress (looks pensive) Who will the grown up be?
Me: Auntie Carol
Abby: Oh well that's ok, Auntie Carol would buy me anything I wanted.

I'm sure I saw a look in her eye that was wondering if we could bugger off and leave her and Auntie Carol to spend all our money!