Funny Things Your Child Has Said!

[kmbabycrazy]

Haha bless her x

 

[kimberleyrobx]

Emily's favourites right now are 'shut it!' and 'stop it!' and 'no mummy! Go away!'

 

[Gemmamuk]

Tonight I was in the bath with my son and I was asking him what his body parts were called.

I pointed to his nose, he got it correct.
I pointed to his ears, mouth, hand, foot, bum....all correct.
I pointed to his winky and asked 'what's that called Alex?'
He stood up and proudly pointed and yelled 'Dave!'.

No idea where he's heard that name before or why he has named his willy Dave!!!! Lmao!!! 😂

 

[Beyond]

*Me talking to my daughter*

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Her : A doctor.

Me: Oh that's good baby! What kind of doctor?

Her: A doctor , i'm gonna take you to the hospital and take the baby out and it's gonna hurt really bad ok?

Me: Why do you have to hurt mommy?

Her: Because i'm a doctor , it has to hurt ok. Then i'm gonna shoot you.

Me: You're gonna do what? O_O

Her: I'm gonna shoot you in the arm with a needle.

 

[kmbabycrazy]

Walking home from school and toby told me a funny knock knock joke. I laughed and asked hin where hebheard it and he said my brother told him it. I said "it's funny"

Toby: that's what jokes are for mummy.

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

I picked dd up from preschool on Wednesday and when we got home this is what she said

DD "mummy I missed daddy today"
Me "aww that's very sweet darling"
DD "yeah I went to kick him and I missed. Silly me"

 

[MissRhead]

These are all hilarious! Love them!

I just heard from upstairs my mum making LO jump he screamed and my mum said sorry, he replied.. if you make me jump again ill probably cut you up and eat you.

I asked him to feed the fish the other day, he started putting in some food then went into a mad panic because they where banging their 'noses' on the glass..

He has imaginary friends and often has conversations to himself when he's alone, I hear him saying things like 'yes I am the best, I know that' 'don't be silly, just do what I tell you and nobody will get hurt' 'shit... Don't say that! That is such a nasty word..shit, stop it'

 

[Marie000]

He has imaginary friends and often has conversations to himself when he's alone, I hear him saying things like 'yes I am the best, I know that' 'don't be silly, just do what I tell you and nobody will get hurt' 'shit... Don't say that! That is such a nasty word..shit, stop it'

Ok, now I think I'm scared...

 

[Dragonfly]

me: what did you learn at school today?
William: Nothing
me: why?
William: because I wasnt listening.

William. A grave yard, you go there when you eat something bad. And your gravestone helps you turn in to a vampire.

William :

12345
once I caught a fish alive.
5789 10
now he can f*ck off again

Me : do you love me Alex?
Alex: no. I love your boobs.
me. Gee thanks.

 

[Lianne1986]

we had a conversation with tyler at the dinner table tonight.

he was telling us that some muslims came into his school today.
he said he couldn't understand how they were muslims because they were from Wolverhampton.

we then explained anyone can choose to be a muslim so he replied with -

so do they put their hands together (he puts his together and closes his eyes) and says do they say - please god let me grow a beard so I can be a muslim.

I was pmsl! kids are so innocent.

 

[Haydensmom92]

Me: Hayden you have stinky breath, go brush your teeth!
Hayden:leans in to give me a kiss!
Me: **wipes it off and says stinky!!**
Hayden: DONT WIPE MY KISSES OFF!

ahaha so funny.

love all of these posts!

 

[KayBea]

We made cakes & decorated them Saturday..

I passed LO a tub of 100's & 1000's..

LO: Mummy, What are these?
Me: 100's & 1000's..
LO: What do i do with 100's of trousers...

i actually had a stomach ache from laughing so much!!!

and her fav phrase at the moment is 'i'll be back in 5 minutes, you wait right here' or 'im coming back for you, dont cry' as she walks out the living room to get a toy xx

 

[Dragonfly]

William what do you want to be when you grow up?
W: A farmer
Alex what do you want to be when you grow up?
A: A spider

 

[Lianne1986]

I said to Jaiden the other night

"night Jaiden"

he replied with

"night shitface"

I was mortified. I dunno where hes got it from...

 

[Foogirl]

We made cakes & decorated them Saturday..

I passed LO a tub of 100's & 1000's..

LO: Mummy, What are these?
Me: 100's & 1000's..
LO: What do i do with 100's of trousers...

i actually had a stomach ache from laughing so much!!!

and her fav phrase at the moment is 'i'll be back in 5 minutes, you wait right here' or 'im coming back for you, dont cry' as she walks out the living room to get a toy xx

 

[Foogirl]

I was just looking through all my old videos and found this one. It's about a year ago and Abby was three. I was trying so hard to not laugh hysterically (as you'll see by the shaky camera)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vJ7ryUqtc0

 

[MelliPaige]

Not my kid.. But at work today a little boy and girl (probably 5) walk in in front of their mothers and the boy runs off:

Little girl: see him? He's my boyfriend!

Me: he's cute!

Little girl: back off lady, your old and he's likes me!



I cracked up, but she got scolded by her mommy. Talk about a little teenager in training!

 

[Seity]

Gabriel to the kitten:
"Luther, I said I'm not food, stop chewing on me!"

 

[Gemmamuk]

Alex has started copying everyone and everything they say.
We were staying with my nan and her cat just crys allllll the time for no particular reason.
Alex was eating his breakfast and the cat comes in the room and cried. Alex turned round and said 'shut up storm!'.
Cat cried again, Alex pushed his chair out, walked over to the cat and said 'I said shut up! Shut up Shut up Shut up !!! Thank you!'
Before going and sitting down to finish his breakfast! Lol

My friends 5 year old daughter this morning decided she didn't want to wear her school uniform, and wanted to pick out some new clothes. My friend told her to put her uniform on as school was not a fashion show.
She piped up with 'but mummy - every day is an opportunity for fashion!!!'
Wtf! No idea where she got it from lmao!!!

 

[wishuwerehere]

Today I was driving my daughter to nursery and I saw some astoundingly bad driving on the part of a bin lorry...I may have sworn a little bit
Anyway, my LO's response was "Don't worry mummy, if there are anymore arseholes I will shake my bracelets at them!" (I assume to scare them off? ) I obviously cracked up....