Funny things your toddler/child has come out with..

[lindseymw]

Haha

I took my DS1 for lunch at the pub near my house. He needed a poo so took him in the toilets to do his business, he was that impressed with himself that he decided to announce to the entire pub at the top of his voice "Joshua did big poo poo on the big potty!" I was rather mortified!

Also, walking to my mams, my DH farted, it was a bit quiet so no one else about would have noticed apart from Joshua, at the top of his voice shouted "Daddy just *blew raspberry*"

 

[lesleyann]

We was talking to Kyle about willies the other day and it went abit like this

Kyle: me have small willy, daddy have big willy
Nan: what about uncle D?
Kyle: uncle d have big willy
Nan: what about mummy and nanny?
Kyle: mummy and nanny no willy
Nan: what about grandad?
Kyle: grandad have small willy.... Grandad have no willy

He has a thing ATM where everything has to be related to being big or small lol

 

[TaylorsMummyx]

My dd said the other day when I was askin for help tidying toys away from
Ds she shouted at me "mum stop being so mean!"
Haha the other day I was listening to something and it as singing "I wana get physical" ad she kept repeating it over and over and going "ohh ohh i wana get physical" while shaking her booty!
She will happily go in a really public place/posh shop " iv just farted out my mouth" god stake child!!

 

[linley]

My 9 year old cousin thought Black Eyed Peas did "Time of my life" first and when she heard Glee covering it, she got in a right strop, started saying things like "They ruined it!" and "Do they always slow everything down?" I can't wait for her to be old enough to watch Dirty Dancing..

My aunt was telling me about her 3yr old who decided he'd had enough dinner and stuck his fork in her leg (totally out of character, he's usually so laid back), so out of shock she tapped his knee and told him to say sorry, it's not nice to hit etc. So he did, reluctantly, then said, "You hit me, now you say sorry!" Fair call tbh.

 

[tina3747]

We had a few couple friends over who all have kids. The 2 boys aged 7, one being mine asked if they could do a fashion show in my clothes. Yes but no dresses!!
It was quite hilarious until mine came down in my bra, I said no more now that's enough!!
Afterwards he came down and said "mum, can I play with your bracelet mixer?"
No idea what he was talking, couldn't think what the bracelet mixer was.. until the horror swept over me when he came downstairs in front of everyone proudly holding up the rabbit!!
For anyone who hasn't seen the rabbit, it has loads of pearl beads that 'mix' round for added pleasure.

Ground... Please swallow me up whole!!

Anytime a sex toy is now mentioned it's affectionatly known as the bracelet mixer!!!

 

[tallybee]

bracelet mixer!!

 

[Reedy]

^^^ sooooo embarrassing lol x

a few months ago my 5 yr old niece trapped her finger in the door & the next day my sister asked how her finger was & she replied 'its ok, it only hurts when i pick my nose' hahaha at least she's honest x

 

[leahsbabybump]

bracelet mixer hahahahahahhahahahaha that is soooo funny i would have been mortified lol

when i was preganat my then 4 year old was telling a woman in a shop how his mommy is too fat to have a small cute baby and that the baby was going to be massive lol he was far wrong she was over 9lb but sooo cute bless him haha

 

[lepaskilf]

We was talking to Kyle about willies the other day and it went abit like this

Kyle: me have small willy, daddy have big willy
Nan: what about uncle D?
Kyle: uncle d have big willy
Nan: what about mummy and nanny?
Kyle: mummy and nanny no willy
Nan: what about grandad?
Kyle: grandad have small willy.... Grandad have no willy

He has a thing ATM where everything has to be related to being big or small lol

...My LO is in to things which are big and small at the moment too! We've not had this happen yet though!

 

[lepaskilf]

When my Bro was about 4-5 (he's 15 now!) my mum was looking for her tweezers, and he came up to her with them say here are your eye ball twirlers mummy! :hehe:

 

[Samantha_]

bracelet mixer
I work in a playgroup and the other day a wee lad had just came in so I asked how he was, he replied im ok but my willys hanging outta my pants!

 

[mum2b2009]

lol at these

 

[kandbumpx]

We had a few couple friends over who all have kids. The 2 boys aged 7, one being mine asked if they could do a fashion show in my clothes. Yes but no dresses!!
It was quite hilarious until mine came down in my bra, I said no more now that's enough!!
Afterwards he came down and said "mum, can I play with your bracelet mixer?"
No idea what he was talking, couldn't think what the bracelet mixer was.. until the horror swept over me when he came downstairs in front of everyone proudly holding up the rabbit!!
For anyone who hasn't seen the rabbit, it has loads of pearl beads that 'mix' round for added pleasure.

Ground... Please swallow me up whole!!

Anytime a sex toy is now mentioned it's affectionatly known as the bracelet mixer!!!

rofl: - Oh the shame!!

 

[kandbumpx]

Ohhhhh I just remembered another one now you mention that boy with his willy lol..

My nephew again...
He was playing with his friend from nursery (a girl - he fancied her) they were having some sort of pillow fight and then he come out with "mummy.. my willys gone hard" hahahaha

 

[blinkybaby]

Ahh these are making me giggle so much!

My OH's son from another relationship came for his weekly visit when I was near the end of my pregnancy and we were in the car on the way somewhere. I was really thirsty and reached for a bottle of water, he grabbed it from me and said "don't drink that Jess, you'll get the baby all wet!" It was so cute, he was 6 at the time.

xxx

 

[Maman]

the best one i ever heard was someone elses child. we were leaving the park and another child ran through the gate, then turned round to face his dad who was a few metres behind and shouted ' come on daddy, you sticky willy' well the dads face, it was sooooo funny. the whole play area full of people turned round

 

[kandbumpx]

the best one i ever heard was someone elses child. we were leaving the park and another child ran through the gate, then turned round to face his dad who was a few metres behind and shouted ' come on daddy, you sticky willy' well the dads face, it was sooooo funny. the whole play area full of people turned round

Poor bloke

 

[Luxy]

I heard the funniest thing at my friends wedding. Her 2 boys, 4 and nearly 3 each gave the registrar one of the wedding rings when the wedding ring part came up. The 4 year old did his without saying a word and went and sat back with granny. The nearly 3 year old handed the registrar the ring and as she took it and turned to my friend and her husband, he said to the registrar "what do you say?" and didn't go and sit down until she said "thank you". Everyone just burst out laughing! At least you know they have been bought up with manners!!

 

[Glitterfairy]

My 7 year old was watching a programme with teenagers on and a 17 year old was doing a stunt on a bike and he pipes up 'Wow 17 is young...i was in your tummy when you were 17 wasnt i?'
Me 'Yes it is very young,really you should wait until you are a bit older to have babies'
He looked at me and winked and said 'You just couldn't wait for that special kiss could you Mum!'

 

[tallybee]

Just remembered one...

DD (she's 5): Mum, the girls brigade leaders say Jesus is real.
Me: That's all right darling, people believe lots of different things, and that's OK.
DD: (long thoughtful pause) Well ... I believe in smurfs
Me: