I'm back in the GD world. Looks like DH has decided no more babies, he is convinced he can't make girls so seems to think its best to not try at all. I know space wise, financially and age wise (for him) it makes sense but I wanted one more regardless. The hope of a girl was still there, I didn't realise how strongly.
Adverts for girls toys, or girls clothes can have me holding back tears because I will never buy them for my daughter. I wouldn't swap my boys but I think I would take the decision to have no more babies a lot easier if there had been a girl somewhere in the mix. I'm having trouble with Seth this week, he cries most of the morning, is ok for the afternoon, then cries most of the evening. I feel like such a rubbish Mum and today he has cried almost non-stop other than to doze off for 10 minutes at a time, and I know its the wrong way to be thinking but I feel I'm being punished because I wanted a girl so badly and that if I didn't have GD then he'd be happier. Instead of feeling like I had done something right and so had been blessed with more boys I feel I did something wrong to not get a girl and that its all very unfair.
I've even considered saving up and going high tech but I would take so long to save that we'd only get one go, and I might not even get pregnant, then I've wasted all that money on a selfish dream when I could take the boys on holiday or something.
Just wish I had the chance to sway so I could say I gave it my best shot.
