General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

Selfish need advice post. Green in particular since you went through this with Kaiser.

Recap facts:
A fails the communication and personal-social categories of the ASQ-3.
A scores moderate risk on the MCHAT.
At his 15 month check, I sent the screeners to the local Kaiser specialist.

New facts:
After two weeks, I hear nothing. Email pedi who says they can take up to four weeks.
After four weeks, email her again and Pedi confirmed they received the screener on 11/1 and that I should hear soon.

I know with the holiday, I can expect there to be a delay. But in my head it takes less than 5 minutes to score these screeners. And given that they had them 15 business days (3 business weeks and that is accounting for Thanksgiving off for two days), I feel like they are dropping the ball. They moved so slowly with his helmet that I knew from 2 months he needed it, got the official recommendation at 6 months, and then he wasn’t in one until almost 10! So his head is still a bit flat. And with early intervention being so crucial and my wanting to know so I can educate myself, like get on it.

My parents think I need to chill the eff out and just wait.

Should I just chill out or should I continue to be that parent up in people’s faces every week?

 

[shaescott]

Dobs, while I have no experience with Kaiser, I totally understand that you’d want a speedy response. I think it’s reasonable to expect for them to get back to you quickly, especially when it’s in regards to a toddler who’s in a period of critical development. Personally, I’d probably be the person who bugs them about it every week. I agree with you that the earlier that early intervention begins, the better. And considering it took them so long with the helmet, I’d especially be up their asses about this.

 

[claireybell]

My bloomin Bnb wont update any new posts for some reason?! Yet i been on this morning & seen a few from Friday & Saturday after my last post ohhhhhhhh!!!!

Just getting sorted to do school run, im struggling so much atm with generally walking around & hips jamming up in night that i can barely manoeuvre to get out of bed for a pee in the night Lol! I Ouch out loud in pain & SO thinks somethings happening bless him.

Cant believe 2 wks today il be up the Maternity hospital awaiting to go down for my csection ahhhhhhh!!!! We’re doing the Christmas Tree etc next Saturday all ready & hoping to gets the kids crimbo bits in the wk one evening so fx all goes to plan

 

[gigglebox]

Cb i'm done shopping but am getting a little overwhelmed by wrapping everything now! Our family is just growing so much, now that the in laws live so close. Plus babies and my folks and my bro and his wife...was much simpler before anyway GOOD CALL on getting it all done before baby. So sorry about all the pain you're in! I feel pretty crappy these days, can only imagine how i'll be at your state :/ not long now though, hang in there! Maybe a heating pad could help?

Dobby maybe in the interim you could do your own research on how to help with your specific concerns. For example with Des we were worried about him repeating things, so we researched tricks on how to teach him to communicate his own thoughts which suggested we have conversations with each outer in front of him as a demonstration. Also play with toys and describe what they're doing, etc. things were easier when we got help and direction but i felt better getting a head start.

Is there someone higher up you can complain to about the slow service? That is a bit ridiculous to me, things loke the head band are time sensitive.

 

[Flueky88]

Shae hope you get all the wedding plans figured out asap.

Dobby, you've waited 4 weeks which I think is plenty. I say harass them daily until it gets done. I do not think you are being unreasonable at all. You have very real concerns and early intervention whether autism or not is important imo.

CB happy 37 weeks and 2 weeks to he's here!!!

I just check regularly and click on watched threads. I hope they fix it soon though.

Ugh, I never made it that far but I can only imagine how uncomfortable you are feeling. I'm already feeling stiff and sore around pelvis and thighs when I get up in the morning.

Hope you get everything done this week! So you can rest up as much as possible next week.

Gigs is your heel still hurting? Mine started hurting yesterday. It was awful!! So far so good today though.


AFM kinda being non productive at work. Looked at cyber monday deals on amazon. I believe I'm finished Christmas shopping except for 2 cases of beer for BIL and DHs cousin's fiance. I need to find out their favorite first. I've got everything packed that I've received so that's a plus. My Christmas cards are pretty much ready to send. Feeling rather productive.

V seems tobe excited about her room. She knows when you say her room where to go. It's right next to nursery so I think it's a good sign she's accepting moving to a new room.

She had a rough day yesterday. She pulled the tablecloth and for my glass drinking glass down. It spilled allover the floor but no broken glass. Kept getting into trash and pulled a Styrofoam meat tray off the counter. It only had some crumbles of raw beef but still. This was all in a matter if maybe 5 minutes. I ended up putting her in pack n play as time out. I needed to cool down as I was getting super angry. She got fussy a little later too. You can see a perfect outline of the last of her 1st molars so I think it's just giving her grief.

 

[Flueky88]

Oh also. We were discussing middle names last night. I'm pretty sold on Rose. The name flows nicely. He likes it too, but mentioned Juliette. It's a lovely name, but I'd prefer it as a first name and I don't think it flows nice like Serena Rose or Victoria Jade.

 

[gigglebox]

Dang Fluek your Christmas game is strong! We need to do the family picture thing but not sure when...no time this weekend I don't think and it's dark by the time hubby gets home from work :/

Love Serena Rose!

 

[shaescott]

Flueks I agree that Rose flows better with Serena. Was it Campn who named her daughter Juliette? Idk, the name reminded me of that.

Bought some black dress shoes for the wedding. My dress is navy blue but I couldn’t find any navy blue shoes at Payless (they had a big sale). They had navy blue shoes at Macy’s but they were $50. Pass. At Payless they had a pair of royal blue 5 inch heels but the toes were suuuper pointed and I hate pointed toed shoes, also I was concerned at standing in them for hours. So I got the black heels, they’re 3 inches which I think is a good compromise height. They’re open toe, so I’ll need to paint my toenails lol. Also they have memory foam soles so that’s a plus.

 

[claireybell]

Shae, Yes was Campn who named her baby girl Juliette

Flueks i LOVE Serena Rose, flows lovely & goes really nicely with Victoria’s name

Your so organised with the crimbo thing, check you out Lol!

Just all seems to be hectic these days with growing families, getting things done, totally agree Gigs! At least your Xmas Tree is up though it looks lovely btw! ive tried the heat pads but the pain its mainly jammed or frozen something or a trapped nerve pfft so doesn’t help that much really... still not long! Seem to be having insomnia tonight & waking every 2 hrs. Oh yes was going to ask also about your Foot - any relief?

I purchased Rileys Nintendo Switch yesterday so his main gift is done along with a new Mario Kart game, bloody pricey those are! Nuala be easy to buy for really shes so girly & into tea-sets & dolls atm its really cute

Whos getting married Shae? Your purchases sound fab!! How was your anniversary that SO had organised something? U probs had mentioned but i probs overloooked it sorry hun..

Its 02:48! Time to pee again Lol

 

[DobbyForever]

Haven’t caught up but they must have heard my b*tching wavelength because they called today.

Refered to a class that will “teach parents to be at home speech pathologists by a speech pathologist”, referred to regional evaluation, and referred to a developmental pediatrician. But I guess those are rare so the first opening is screening in late Jan and follow up in Feb. I guess upside is that if he does have ASD then they wouldn’t officially do that diagnosis anyway until 18 months, even if they were sure now.

Honestly, I already researched it and do a lot of language building with him. Being a teacher, I started all of that when I was pregnant. We have a general guideline in school that if you do an intervention for 6-8 weeks with no change, you need a new strategy or there’s likely an underlying issue. So to work on language as much as we do and see minimal growth is concerning. I’m also starting to pick up on some focus issues/ “daydreaming”. And doing the questionnaire and finding there are more issues I didn’t realize were issues is like greeeeeeat.

 

[shaescott]

CB I’m sorry about the pain and insomnia

SO’s cousin is getting married. I met them both at his grandfather’s funeral (unfortunate timing). They showed us the engagement ring, it was super gorgeous and sparkly. SO finally updated me that we’ll be leaving Saturday morning so I don’t have to worry about getting work off, and the wedding is in Long Island (NY). I’m going to be so freezing, as it’s December 1st in New York. I’m gonna look super dumb wearing my peacoat over my evening gown, and my toes are going to freeze off. Oh well.
I wonder if I should do my makeup for the wedding. I almost never wear makeup but I have a bunch of it for when I look especially dead or I’m feeling fancy. Hm. Maybe I’ll assess my skin situation day of to decide whether to use foundation, and otherwise put on mascara and some lip gloss. I’m not good at putting on eyeliner, I always seem to make it too thick and when I open my eye it looks like the eyeliner is covering the entire eyelid. Wings also look terrible on me, though that takes away an extra difficulty. Though I did successfully put on eyeliner like 2 months ago. Maybe if I practice this week I’ll do it, but otherwise I’ll veer on the side of caution. I also need to re-dye my hair but the red tends to clash with navy blue (the color of my only evening gown) when it’s in its bright stages, so I’m going to have to wait until after the wedding and just ignore the fact that my roots have become quite visible and look gray in contrast to the dyed hair which has faded to more of a strawberry blonde.

I probably forgot to talk about the anniversary. In usual SO fashion, he waited until the last minute (literally same day) and all the hotel rates were up way too high, terribly rated, or booked. So I ended up picking a fancy expensive restaurant to go to (it turned out to be not at all worth the money, it wasn’t bad just not good enough to pay what we did). We then went to a sex shop cuz we’re young and wild lol, just to pick out a toy. And then we just slept at my house. Next year I’m booking the hotel in advance and we’ll just go to Outback or Longhorn or something.

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae agreed I got excited (again! Lol) I really need to sleep more and read more than one page haha

Kudos to all you Christmas ladies! I’m likely going to do a for you-for me gift and get my brothers “Let’s Go Eevee”. Was hoping to see it on sale for Cyber a Monday. My other brother just likes money, which I have none. And my parents are too difficult to please lol. I’m building A’s list which is clothes or certain toys I can’t afford. I’d like him to have a playhouse or a water table. Meh

Cb and Gigs I can’t believe we’ll have babies soon!

I feel really cheated lately. I know if’s My own fault. But I wish I had partners that were truly supportive of my pregnancy and our child. And I feel cheated that I had an anterior placenta so barely any movement. Just feeling down lately. Overwhelmed by work and court and this health stuff.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I’m glad they finally got back to you. Teaching interventions sound so much like nursing interventions. We come up with a goal with a timeframe, interventions to reach the goal, and evaluate at the end of the time frame. If the goal isn’t achieved, we reassess and come up with new interventions. Anyway. Perhaps the speech pathologist will have some useful info you haven’t thought of? It would suck if you’ve already been doing everything they suggest and you get nothing out of the teaching they give you. On the other hand, that would mean you’ve been doing everything possible and it could show the providers how they haven’t been working so you could skip to next level interventions. It’s a double edged sword I guess.

 

[DobbyForever]

Also lol Shae I remember the let’s go to the “toy” store for our anniversary days. If you are ever in LA, The Pleasure Chest is clean, hip, and classy. Last time I was there, they did a promo in store that if you could name 3 LGBTQ celebs you get 10% off. I love them. The Seattle location leaves a lot to be desired though.

 

[DobbyForever]

Well the Help Me Communicate class is a time filler because getting the developmental pedi takes so long. The other thing is differentiation: what works on gen pop toddlers may not work for ASD toddlers. I just want something tailored more to just A.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs well there’s always a chance I’ll have to move to Cali for SO’s future job since he’s studying video game design, so I’ll keep that recommendation in mind
Yeah I understand wanting the tailored program ASAP. I would too.

 

[gigglebox]

Dobs call the local school and ask about options for a pre-K toddler on speech therapy. Not sure about there but here if you are referred through health care they keep it in health care, but there is also the option for a school speech pathologist to evaluate and see if you qualify for therapy. They do NOT diagnose ASD but can certainly help with speech/occupational therapy/etc. worth a call! It's totally free here even though Des is in private school. He just has an ISP vs ESP.

Sounds like you're getting broody again there is still plenty of time to find that someone and make things good for #2

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs it's just that OCD type A planner personality of mine. If I'm late on gettinv things done it's more because finances weren't the best like last year. We are going to JC Penney for our pics. It's just too cold for outside photos and they did a good job last year.

Shae yes campn named her daughter Juliette. It truly is a lovely name just don't like it with Serena.

Could you wear some black or navy tights to help keep your feet warmer. Is it indoor or outdoor. Way too cold for outdoor NY wedding imo. If it's indoors maybe wear boots to the event then change into your dress shoes??

I rarely wear make up as well. DH actually prefers me without it. On our wedding I did wear mascara, eye shadow, and chap stick to give my lips a glossier look I plan on wearing a little for our pics too.


CB gaming systems are expensive. We've not bought the switch yet. I'm sure he will love it and yay for Nuala having easy gift

Less than 2 weeks of the pain. Have you thought of getting a massage or seeing a chiropractor??

Dobby glad they called but that sucks in a way his appt is far off. However may be for the best if they cannot diagnose ASD until 18 months anyways . That may be the reasoning for scheduling it later as well.

Sorry you didn't get to experience a supportive partner with A. I know you aren't looking, but you never know who might come into your life and you may have another child.

 

[gigglebox]

Oh cb my foot is feeling better as long as i wear shoes with insoles. Very frustrating as i love to walk around barefoot but oh well.

Shae i love weddings and excuses to shop! You've actually reminded me i need to book a hotel for a wedding end of December. Bit worried i'll be miserable in a hotel bed but oh well.

So had my appointment...

In a nut shell they think I may have an underlying issue with my platelets but nothing serious, just something meaning I have low platelets (but not excessively low) that is aggravated/amplified in pregnancy. I am going to be monitored with my blood count and possibly will need to see a hematologist a couple months postpartum just to see if I have an ongoing issue that needs attention or at least needs to be monitored over time. dr says I have to keep my levels above 100 to be allowed a spinal (ie stay awake for delivery). Last bloods I was at 113 I am trying diet and supplements to boost it but we'll see. I get another draw this week. If numbers are stable then I'll get another draw at 36 weeks and then 38 weeks which will be the big decider. If my numbers drop at or below 100 they are going to start me on a steroid regimen to try and boost numbers.

I am scared, but also relieved that it seems to be nothing super serious, at least it has been caught and I can be monitored. This gives me & them time to try and correct it before surgery. Worst case scenario would have been to not catch it and i bleed out! Or get a spinal and become paralyzed! Anyway...9weeks until delivery. In the meantime I can mentally prepare for a anesthetized delivery.

 

[shaescott]

Flueks I agree, it doesn’t flow with Serena, though it’s a lovely name.
I’m assuming the wedding is indoors because of the time of year. I could wear black leggings to keep my legs warm, but since the shoes are open toed, tights/stockings/pantyhose would look odd. It’s fine though, as long as it’s indoors my feet won’t be outside for long periods of time.
SO prefers me without makeup as well. On one hand, I like that I never feel that I have to doll myself up for him. There’s plenty of (awful, really) memes about seeing girlfriends after they shower or swim and they turn ugly when the makeup washes off. I’d hate to be with a guy like that, who thought I was ugly without makeup. So it’s nice that he finds me beautiful in my natural state. On the other hand, it means I avoid wearing makeup in front of him cuz he thinks I look weird in it. But to be fair, he said that back when I was putting on makeup in high school and had zero clue what I was doing. To be fair, I still have no clue, but I no longer wear thick gold eyeliner