General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

Thanks everyone for the love re: SO’s health issues.

Gigs yeah I’ve been checking my finger regularly for signs of a reaction. So far, nothing. I’ve also been really careful to dry that finger well after washing my hands so moisture doesn’t build up under it, so that probably helps.

Gigs and Dobs, sorry about the mom-bie situation, hopefully you’ll either get a good nap in or tonight will be better. Glad the coffee is working, Gigs.

My back is killing me from shoveling yesterday, so I’m about to take a nap with my heated mattress pad turned on.

 

[DobbyForever]

Ooo jealous I love laying on a heated surface.

I need to clean but I’m tired lol but I’m scared this ABA therapist is gonna come in and say my house is unsanitary and call CPS

 

[kittykat7210]

In terms of taxes there are quite a few of them, I don’t mind breaking down my salary;

I earn £13,550 a year, I get income taxed £336 a year, national insurance taxed (that’s the medical one) £613 a year and then council tax (tax for police and stuff) is £1800 a year then I have a service charge for my estate as it’s a private road which is £80 a year, if we take into account Lewis’s taxes we pay about £6360 a year in taxes. Which is about 20% of our yearly combined income on tax, we are a low income family though with a yearly income of less than £36k combined pretax. It’s a good job we are naturally frugal people

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I’d like to say I’m sure your house is fine but to be fair idk what your house looks like lol, and you can never be too careful with your ex out to get you. But my best guess is that you’ll be fine.

Kitty, Lewis works as well right? If not then the taxes would be a lot but if he does it doesn’t seem too bad. But it’s definitely good you’re frugal people, in the US earning federal minimum wage ($7.25 an hour) 40 hours a week gets you about $15,000 a year I believe. To be fair the exchange rate brings your salary to about $17,900 here, so you’re above minimum wage earnings for US dollars. The numbers are all over the place depending on where you look but average personal income in the US is probably around $30-40,000 and average household income is probably $55-65,000 (every website has a different number so idk what number is right). Are earnings much less in the UK or is your salary way on the low end? Sorry if that’s too personal, feel free to not answer.

 

[kittykat7210]

Dobs I’d like to say I’m sure your house is fine but to be fair idk what your house looks like lol, and you can never be too careful with your ex out to get you. But my best guess is that you’ll be fine.

Kitty, Lewis works as well right? If not then the taxes would be a lot but if he does it doesn’t seem too bad. But it’s definitely good you’re frugal people, in the US earning federal minimum wage ($7.25 an hour) 40 hours a week gets you about $15,000 a year I believe. To be fair the exchange rate brings your salary to about $17,900 here, so you’re above minimum wage earnings for US dollars. The numbers are all over the place depending on where you look but average personal income in the US is probably around $30-40,000 and average household income is probably $55-65,000 (every website has a different number so idk what number is right). Are earnings much less in the UK or is your salary way on the low end? Sorry if that’s too personal, feel free to not answer.

Yeh Lewis works 40 hours a week and gets £21,600/year and I work 25 hours a week and get £13,550/year, I cut my contract from 40 hours to 25 to try and make it manageable, when I worked 40 hours I earned £22,000/year.

Lewis parents make more money each than we do combined, and they aren’t considered massively wealthy! I don’t know the actual statistics for the U.K. but we definitely are not high earners!

Edit: I’ve just checked and me and Lewis combined income is the same as the U.K. single income average, so we both work to make the same as the average single person, makes me a bit sad actually! Yet slightly proud that we’ve managed to buy a house whilst being amount the low earners. Minimum wage here is £8.21/hour for over 25 year olds and £7.70/hour for my age group (21-24) so technically I earn £3/hour more than minimum wage, as does Lewis, so I suppose we aren’t the poorest of the poor

 

[Jezika]

Ah, so you pay around $67 (USD) a month for healthcare. That’s not bad, especially considering it covers all medications (other than the dispense fee or whatever it is) and there’s no deductibles or exclusions or anything additional to pay. I just looked up what it is in a Canada and apparently the average person earning $61k (CAD) annually will pay a little under $500 (CAD, or $376 in USD) a month. I feel like that’s a lot since it doesn’t include medications, though there are no deductibles or any of the other stuff obv. Most people who are employed in decent jobs seem to have good benefits though, e.g., we get all medications paid for through hubby’s benefits, $3500 a year in mental health treatment, $800 every two years for eyes tests and prescription eye stuff, and also things like naturopathy, acupuncture, massage therapy etc. are covered. Oh and most dental stuff. I guess all of these things are usually covered by health insurance in the US, or no?

 

[shaescott]

Kitty wow that is kinda sad about your combined jobs making less than the average single income. What do you guys do for work? Here it definitely depends on what you’re doing, a fast food worker or cashier etc will get minimum wage aka full time would be $15,000 per year for federal min wage, vs nurses depending on the area can earn anywhere from $40,000 to $90,000 a year, lowest in rural areas and highest in cities, it correlates with cost of living (if I worked in Boston I’d make bank but the cost of living there is ridiculous). Doctors will usually start at $175,000 or so (my guess), and some make $400,000 a year if they’re crazy good surgeons in cities or whatever.

Jez depends on the insurance you have. I remember when I was a kid my mom got excited cuz her work insurance was expanding to include dental. My ophthalmology office doesn’t accept my insurance so we have to pay out of pocket, and it wouldn’t cover the glasses either way, just the exams. We also have copays on my plan for every appointment. We have copays on medications, and they differ based on the med. Birth control pills are free with insurance, other meds can be like $50+ a month, and some stuff like cancer treatments are insanely expensive, even with insurance people go broke paying for them. Some insurances might cover naturopathy/acupuncture/massage therapy but mine certainly doesn’t and I don’t know anyone whose insurance does cover that stuff. Orthodontist stuff is super expensive, I know my parents spent thousands on my braces and stuff. Family plans for insurance can cost over $1,000 a month, as well. My mom has health insurance through her employer, lots of people do.

 

[claireybell]

Hmmm i never thought of that but then i dpnt drink Coffee in the afternoon or evening its mainly the morning to wake myself up lol! That being said, my sister had been reading up about it with regards to Alcohol & bf’ing & only the most minimal amt actually gets transferred into it so i guess it be the same for Caffeine, maybe i should get back on the de-caff? But then Hayden has a bottle in the evening so he sleeps pretty good at night hmmm.. :-/

How did Myles sleep last night?

Hope A slept abit better last night for you Dobby

 

[kittykat7210]

Kitty wow that is kinda sad about your combined jobs making less than the average single income. What do you guys do for work? Here it definitely depends on what you’re doing, a fast food worker or cashier etc will get minimum wage aka full time would be $15,000 per year for federal min wage, vs nurses depending on the area can earn anywhere from $40,000 to $90,000 a year, lowest in rural areas and highest in cities, it correlates with cost of living (if I worked in Boston I’d make bank but the cost of living there is ridiculous). Doctors will usually start at $175,000 or so (my guess), and some make $400,000 a year if they’re crazy good surgeons in cities or whatever.

Jez depends on the insurance you have. I remember when I was a kid my mom got excited cuz her work insurance was expanding to include dental. My ophthalmology office doesn’t accept my insurance so we have to pay out of pocket, and it wouldn’t cover the glasses either way, just the exams. We also have copays on my plan for every appointment. We have copays on medications, and they differ based on the med. Birth control pills are free with insurance, other meds can be like $50+ a month, and some stuff like cancer treatments are insanely expensive, even with insurance people go broke paying for them. Some insurances might cover naturopathy/acupuncture/massage therapy but mine certainly doesn’t and I don’t know anyone whose insurance does cover that stuff. Orthodontist stuff is super expensive, I know my parents spent thousands on my braces and stuff. Family plans for insurance can cost over $1,000 a month, as well. My mom has health insurance through her employer, lots of people do.

I actually work at Aldi, it’s crazy actually because In my old job i Got paid £6.50/hour (I was 18 so it’s £1/hour more than minimum wage) to be a manager of a high end fashion brands women’s department. It honestly was awfully low for All the responsibilities I had! I moved to work for aldi so I could earn a lot more I do think I’m wasted there though, I’m actually clever! Lewis has got a degree but is in a low skill job as well, (assistant manager of the chill section in a distribution warehouse) it’s unfortunate really because we sort of fell into these jobs through circumstance and now it’s so convenient it’s hard to leave!

 

[claireybell]

I love Aldi though.. their fresh meat is lovely & saves me a mini fortune when im simply doing a food grocery shop

 

[gigglebox]

The thing about our insurance is it was not so great as it was, then got totally screwed up with ACA. I think people are very scared off from NHS after seeing what a shit show ACA was. Under the old way, my insurance was $150/month through my job. It cost me $300 to have Des. I had a very nice hospital and private room and c section. After ACA, it cost me about $400 a month for me and Des, then it cost $6750 (or there abouts, can't remember exactly) to have Lev. Now I'm on shared insurance and pay $400 for the whole family and $2250 to have Myles. So not great but better than private insurance.

Cb Myles slept much better. Almost a 4 hour stretch in the cosleeper and then on me. Unfortunately i woke the poor guy up when I coughed and scared the crap out of him lol. Also unfortunately he was sound asleep when my alarm went off and i was also asleep and bery tired still.,..oh well.

 

[shaescott]

Kitty ah okay, Aldi is nice like CB said, I’ve worked as a cashier and it’s not half bad, really. I hate working in clothing stores, fixing what people have messed up is infuriating and tedious. But either way when you’re smart it’s hard, my jobs have always felt like they were draining me mentally and dumbing me down.

I’m personally pro-ACA over no government healthcare at all but I won’t pretend it’s perfect, and I personally believe an NHS-like system would be ideal. Don’t wanna argue about the details though.

 

[claireybell]

4hr stretch is great Ahh I hate it when the Alarms go off esp when you need the snooze!

I was up on/off since 3:30am, not Hayden but Riley being ill again pffft!! 5 times in 3 hrs poor guy! No school again today, he always seems to be ill on Thursday, Friday & Mondays! Im sure they think im pulling him sickies or im too lazy to do the Monday school run Lol

Omg I just saws on FB about Keith Flint Prodigy dying me & my sister were only laughing the other day when I said I can do Prodigy hair on Hayden.. so sad, he was only 49! Ahh my 90’s youth

 

[DobbyForever]

Sorry ladies totally tuning out the healthcare talk cuz I’ll get triggered talking about my joke healthcare

Gigs glad you got a little stretch but huge bummer about the cough and alarm

Lol cb I’m sure they won’t think that. Although sometimes when I have kids out the whole week I wonder if they are at Disneyland

A isn’t going to have a good night’s sleep any time soon. It’s whatever. Perpetually sleep deprived. My mom offered to take him for a weekend or a night and I told her I am not doing that. I’d happily stay st her house but she had him for the night but I’m not staying home while she has him.

 

[claireybell]

If i lived local to Disney i know i’d be there hahaa

 

[claireybell]

Its nice that your Mum offers though Dobs, my mum never does but SO’s mum does but she irritates me Lol never a happy medium. Will A not settle for anyone else?

 

[shaescott]

CB I’ve never heard of that guy who died, what did he do? If I lived in Orlando, FL, I’d 100% have a season pass to Disney World and Universal Studios. Idk about if I lived in Anaheim, CA, I’ve never been to Disney Land. Disney World is bigger anyway, so I have no interest in going to the California one.

Dobs I totally understand tuning it out, it’s a touchy subject.

Sorry about A getting crap sleep and you getting crap sleep as a consequence

Re: absences I remember in my freshman year of high school I had a Spanish teacher who hated me, and once my friend and I were absent on the same day and when we were being a bit too chatty in class the next day she said “didn’t you guys talk enough yesterday when you were out together?” We didn’t even know the other person had been absent until then, I was pretty pissed that she would accuse us of skipping school to just hang out. I get yelling at us for being chatty, that’s fine, but accusing us of playing hooky together is different. But I’m sure some kids do it so from a teacher’s perspective maybe it seems more reasonable? Idk from a student’s perspective she was being an asshole lol. According to friends in the class, she also sometimes talked crap about me to the class when I was absent so she was definitely a jerk.

When I was younger and my family would go to Disney for a week (which we stopped doing once I hit high school to avoid missing so much work and learning), we would always be honest with the teachers about where I was going. I had a teacher ask me to write a journal during my trip about what I did each day, and once I went on a cruise and stopped in Cozumel and brought back pesos for everyone.

AFM it snowed 10 inches last night. I couldn’t pull my car forward enough because the snow plow guy didn’t plow my spot so of course my car was in the way and he couldn’t plow as well, and now we’re all talking turns shoveling the 10 inches of snow in front of my dad’s garage door. It’s a lot. He’s gotta get out today because he has to go to the police station to renew his gun license. Shoveling out my car will also take forever and I’m getting my inspection tomorrow the keurig also stopped working this morning, thank god I was able to fix it. I had to take apart the inside and clean out the coffee grinds.

Okay I’m done complaining lol

 

[pacificlove]

I lived for many many years very close to the castle " Neuschwanstein" among other popular destinations in Germany. Did I ever see it, no! Too many tourists... I took DH to Germany 7/8 years ago and finally did all the touristy stuff in germany. Took me not living there to finally see some hot spots!

Dobs, L had his first solo sleepover at my parents last year, days before he turned 2! He spent 4 nights there because we needed him out of our way to pack for our move without a needy toddler in the way we did facetime talks each night, he was ok seeing us, but got super excited if we showed him our cat.... Yeah, happier seeing the cat then us! He definitely surprised us, but these things need to be done when you both are ready for it.

Our sleep isn't good and but not terrible either, so I can't complain. We do get 1x 4-5 hr sleep stretch at night. Then another 2 hours. The 2 hour stretch usually lacks quality for me though, so that's my killer.

In other news: DH and I want to try and tackle potty training starting next weekend... Any tips or tricks?

Shae: 10 inches of snow sounds wonderful --- to look at from a distance

Teachers: I had one who was a terrible spitter while talking. Seriously, you weren't safe in second row! That guy for a while totally ignored me, even when my hand was up then gave me bad participation marks. My mom always was involved with my grades, so she talked to the teacher: he claimed he rarely saw my hand up but maybe because I sat to the far outside of the row! He was a spitting ahole.... Lol, I can laugh now, but he never gave me good grades.

 

[gigglebox]

Cb ahhh I just heard! Prodigy will always have a special place in my heart. My inner teenager is shedding a tear.

Shae...hate to say it but this is probably an age thing and you're a bit young for The Prodigy. It was a band from the 90's, kind of techno-indistrial/alternative. I would say "Smack my bitch up" was their biggest hit omg we just accepted that title but typing it out now...omg what a stupid title lol

I've been meaning to ask if y'all are going to start potty training! We probably will in the next couple months...maybe. I'm not sure we're there yet.

Tips? Let him go pantsless in the house, or try to get him to pee outside & aim for objects. Also favorite treats for rewards. M&m's worked well for Des. And big, over-exaggerated praise when he is successful

 

[Jezika]

Gigs that sucks about the impact of ACA on you. From my understanding though, it’s still really nothing like the NHS.

Dobs I forgot to say I totally hear and agree with your philosophy on bedsharing, and so does DH luckily! Also luckily, there’s no evidence it makes kids less independent, but is some evidence it makes them more confident socially.

Shae that’s horrible about the teacher, especially talking badly about you when not there. That feels a bit like bullying. If I was actually assertive and not lazy, I’d be tempted to write to that teacher from an adult’s viewpoint.

Actually I’ve reflected a lot recently on the impact of teachers on kids’ longterm mental health. My clients have so many stories of quite damaging experiences from childhood at the hands of teachers, and I have my own. Many of the teachers’ actions in these stories were quite innocuous, but had such a huge impact. I do think teachers have an enormous responsibility since they are actually helping raise kids, and even though I don’t think it’s reasonable or even possible to expect a teacher to respond to children in a way that can account for every single possible sensitivity a child may have, I do think some teachers could benefit from simply being more aware of their potential impact. I wasn’t a bad kid at all and got such a harsh scolding for something at age 8/9 that it’s stuck with me since and am convinced it’s contributed to a lot of shame that I now harbour. Of course how parents handle these experiences when children share them is also enormously instrumental, so its effects are not just due to teachers. Anyway... such a tough job and generally so underpaid, so I have a lot of respect for you guys who teach (Dobs, Wookie, Tex...?).

PL I’d have been pissed about having my raised hand ignored and then deducted participation marks! Probs why I always sit at the front like a huge keener.

CB you mean Riley has been vomiting? I swear every time I hear about that kind of thing I get terrified all over again. I feel like I’ve been lulled into a false sense of security by having escaped it recently despite T already having had it, as though we can’t all just get a different strain at any point. Anyway, poor Riley, and how rough for you... Hope you don’t get it!