Fluek, thank you. I needed to hear that.
Pretty sorry you have to wait until June for your next scan but glad to hear things are going smoothly thus far. Hopefully your newest addition does well on the long trip. I see your hesitation with napping, especially if SO would go on an extended one.
Camp so good to hear from you! I get it. I'm a bit more distant these days partially because of my own demons but also just hard to be around all the TTC talk if you're not TTC, and I'm nowhere near wanting a second any time soon if ever.
Gigs glad to hear Lev's speech is improving! I know it's difficult waiting for those milestones to take off.
Re food battles: My only fear is that he isn't getting enough nutrients or when I spend time actually trying hard to cook dinner for him and he won't touch it. According to his daycare, he LOVES chicken and rice and all meats over there but at home its the opposite. So as long as he gets it somewhere. He eats most meals at school (they do breakfast, lunch, and afternoon snack) so M-F is chill. Weekends I feel bad cuz I don't fight with him. So he he gets a variety of stuff (protein, carbs, fruits, veggies) and just let him eat whatever. Usually just ends up being carbs and the fruits/veggies lol. He still gets some of those happy tot or plum pouches, only ones that have at least 0.6 iron cuz his iron is lowish. And his doc told me he can have half a flintstones chewable, so i mash it up and give it to him with a spoonful of water. He loves it haha. But he doesn't really eat a lot of fast food or desserts. I'll offer them, and he's just like hard pass. More for me!
Re milestones: Leaning toward his behavior being trauma based and not ASD. Just because he's made huge social leaps in the last couple of months. He's now babbling and playing with other kids his age. Still clingy af and not talking as well as he could be, but I'm going more trauma because you don't grow out of ASD. Sucks though because he used to let my mom put him to sleep when she babysat, and it was fine as long as I came back before his first wake (usually around 11). But now he won't let her put him to bed, so any plans of having an overnight in wine country for my 30th (which was plan c after plan b to see orcas and plan a to go to australia lol).
Feel free to tune out here cuz I'm just ranting to rant
Re life: As I said I'm just emotionally in a dark place. Hence the ranting post. I just hit this really overwhelmed point on vacation, and I haven't pulled myself out of it. I'm physically beat, emotionally beat. I feel like every daily activity is a fight. I feel unfulfilled and guilty that I feel this way. Like at this age and my ethnicity and my single motherhood, it's like statistically I'm never going to find a partner. I also don't ever get to go anywhere where I'd meet someone organically. I go to work and come home and sleep. Online dating is a bust., not that I have energy or time or confidence (haven't dropped a single pound in a month) to date. And now I'm back to not being able to cook or sleep so my body wants sugars all day to function. I just feel like what's the point. And I know what the point is. I have a beautiful son and wonderful family and fantastic job, but everything just feels pointless. And I know my therapist says I just have to keep pushing through the motions until things get better but f*. I have a headache all day. I feel like I'm in a constant state of a panic attack. It's just not ever having a break and God knows my mom tries her best to help me out. But I can't ask for more than she already does. And then I feel like a whiny b* because most single parents I know have literally nobody. Or even people with partners have to shoulder all the child rearing work.
But then every other weekend I see Captain America right. Hot dude at Aiden's gym class. And it's just so insane how beautiful how he is. Like seriously I like him better than I like Chris Evans. And he's soooo good with his daughter and all the kids (granted all the parents are but not the point). And he and his equally cute and nice wife take turns each weekend with who takes the daughter. Like I want that. Why can't I have that? I could have. But I chased them all away. And now I'm overweight and have a kid and I'm past my prime age and have a shit head ex who still drags me to court and tries to make my life difficult.
And like every time I make a small dent in my 35k credit card debt, I get a bill from my attorney that is equal or more than the dent I make. I would have let the asshole off a year ago even to this day for child support if he didn't keep forcing me to file motion after motion after motion. Like if the f*tard had just let me move to f*ing San Diego, we would have been fine financially. But no. And now he acts like I'm some money hungry b* because I had to stay here in a place I can't afford. And even moving to Mountain House now is like ok great their new homes are up to 700k now from 500k when I first started looking. So pretty sure plan b won't work. And even if I sell he destroyed my credit. It's down 100 points from 805 to like 702 (in the 600s at one point), probably worse cuz I hate checking it (Pretty check if your credit card lets you check, my citi bank card and wells fargo mortgage and usaa car insurance sends me my credit score monthly without hurting my credit, just a perk of the accounts).
fhdauilfga ukybfgbuailk,fchbayufgwqycaguiw
S likes to coo now which is cute. V really wasn't a coo-er. Anyways enjoy your yard sale!!
he's already absolutely owning that whole "Terrible 2's" thing.
she is though at least. Kids are ever changing I've learned. A might let your mom put him back to bed. I hope you can get that you time aa it can be so important. I'm sorry that he had delays from trauma but happy to hear it doesn't sound like ASD.
but I don't think a third is in the cards just yet. 
