General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[wookie130]

Gigs, I'm sorry you're having a rough time, and the CBD oil didn't help. I have never reacted well to smoking weed, either. Like anything, different things work for different people.

Flueks- So sorry about your cousin, and the work/feeding struggles. Take care.

Shae- Uggghhh. The struggle with PMS is so real...

My cycle is now down to a lovely 23 days long. And I am beyond bitchy, migraine-y, and want alllll the carbs. I had a clockwork 30 day tolerable cycle prior to having Char, and my tubal litigation. Now, it's shorter and shorter, grosser, and I feel like I am way off hormonally. I just turned 41, so it could be my eggs are depleting, and I'm gearing up for perimenopause. Whatever it is, sucks tremendously.

 

[gigglebox]

Wook i thought erimenopause came with more spaced out periods? Can tubals cause such a significant shortening to cycles like that?

I'm thinking harder about a tubal. I feel like closing the door on more babies is physically/mentally necessary. I'm so beat up from this last one, which really surprises me considering how rough ds2's birth was.

 

[shaescott]

Wooks yikes, sorry about the short cycles and side effects. I miss my pre-IUD near-clockwork cycles (29-31 days), but I’d much rather have crazy cycles than be pregnant of course. Still sucks though.

Gigs you gotta do what you gotta do. If hormonal bc doesn’t work for you and you really can’t mentally afford to have another child, maybe a tubal ligation is what’s best for you. It is reversible, so if in 5 years you were to decide you wanted another child, it would be possible.

 

[pacificlove]

WTF... My reply didn't safe...fed up. Better reply later, don't feel like retyping atm.

 

[Tina2019]

Hey guys,

My name is Christine, I am currently working on a project with Deakin University’s Science of Adult Relationships (SoAR) Lab that is looking at couples who are currently trying to have a baby. If you and your partner have been trying to have a baby for over a year now, you may be eligible!

Not only will you gain insight into your relationship with your partner but findings from this study will also help to assist other couples like you. For further details please comment below or contact [email protected].

 

[claireybell]

Gigs im sorry your dealing with all anxiety & attacks hun.. have you spoken with your Dr? I think when you (people in general) suffer with this, you expect it to keep happening & that gets you all worked up again, its a vicious circle, the Dr will be able to prescribe something that will take the edge off.. re Myles waking at crazy hrs, does he have a bouncy chair or rocker that hes safe to be in if you pop him I front of tv or anything? I do this with Hayden lol! At 4am he just wont go back off to sleep & this chills him for an 1-1.5hrs in between popping dummy back in & playing with teething toys until i get up, our lounge is across the hall like 3 meters away, otherwise im pooped all the time zzzzZ

Dobs lol @ the fish catching story, bet u were starving hungry waiting though

Id persist with child maintenance & what ex needs to give you, is the percentage he needs to pay based on his current income? If so, he should be paying you that extra & its all to help look after his Son whether he wants to or not! Did he not tell the judge/lawyer about his increased income? Im sure A will settle into the new nursery room, its just a lil more busier than he’s used to but he’ll eventually come around

Shae, yeah hes still at school, last day of term is 22/23rd July its a Tuesday, then they have 6.5wks off & due back early September

Flueks im so sorry to hear about your cousin, much love to you & family at this difficult time Sorry Serena is being fussy bottle fed, she will give in in time esp when she gets hungry

Not long left of my Maternity leave now, my last Mat payment is August so il be going back at the beginning of Sept as Nuala gets 30hrs free childcare after her 3rd birthday woop!

Is tubal ligation where they tie or clip the tubes? I had mine actually removed .. if you do go the ligation route, opt for tying rather than clips, only my friend had her tubes clipped/clamped as such & the clips weren’t suitable & it rotted her tubes & half her repro organs, she had to have a full hysterectomy & ovary removal at 26! Shes had 3 children already but would’ve had another with her new hubby but now cannot

 

[gigglebox]

Omg that is terrible cb! Did they financially compensate her?
Myles loves his jumperoo but the problem is i have nowhere to put him that won't wake up another family member. We have a one level ranch (with basement) and all the bedrooms are off the main living space. Very annoying. Besides that, i'm hoping keeping him laid down will help train him on sleep. I'm afraid of encouraging this wake up time if we do anything stimulating. Idk. Just a phase I hope...

About anxiety meds, my insurance won't cover them so I've been waiting/avoiding the dr. That said I may go in with another issue and see if she can write me a Rx for anxiety stuff while I'm there, but if i make the appt for mental health, it wont be covered.

For the tubal i was beginning to research implants. The are inserted into the tubes to block the passage. I only just scratched the surface on it though and again, not sure i can afford it because my insurance doesn't cover birth control either.

Cb, remind me what you do again? Do you work full time? I'll tell you...going back part time has been amazing for me. I enjoy making a little spending cash, interacting with adults, and doing productive work that isn't undone by children within a few hours.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

CB - The theme is TMNT. And those activities sound pretty fun. I guess I'll be in the same boat as you in a few years once Alex starts school. Or, possibly sooner if we decide that sending him to daycare a few days a week after the new baby comes is just not something we can afford.

Flueky - Sorry to hear about your cousin. Just take your time and post whenever you'd like.

Dobby - A few hundred extra dollars could definitely help, but I also see people's point about if it's worth it. You mental health should definitely come first. Just carefully consider if it's something you can add to your plate without it being a major stresser. If I was in your shoes though, I'd fight for it.

Gigs - Sorry to hear that the CBD didn't work and that your SIL is being a major bitch all while you're dealing with sleep deprivation. What does your MIL have to say about the whole thing?

Wookie - That sucks. FX your horomones right themselves and your mood and cravings mellow out.

Re: sterilization. At this point, I can't even imagine doing anything to prevent myself from having more kids. After my mom had my sister (her 2nd baby, by emergency c-section, at 42), she had her tubes tied and a hysterectomy (as far as I remember). And my friend's husband got fixed last year (at 28) now that they have 2 kids. The thing is, he only wanted 2 and she wanted 3, but they did both agree he should get fixed. If SO pulled that, it'd definitely be grounds for breaking up.

AFM, SO needs to take his car in to get serviced today. So, while he's doing that, Alex and I are gonna hit up a dollar store and look for cheap party decorations. Once the car is good to go, we'll go to an actual party store and get some completer items, probably grab some lunch and then hopefully go to an open house. Decent chance we're not gonna get it, but it looks nice from the pics and gives me hope we can get something big enough in the area that I'd like.

 

[pacificlove]

Gigs, sorry insurance doesn't cover the meds you need the most.

Cb, wow that is so wrong in so many ways about those clips. We are leaning towards DH getting snipped but are putting it off for a bit longer until we are both 100% sure. it all just seems so final. I am happy with my two boys but a small part of me wishes for a daughter. I don't want the pregnancy or the changes to our family dynamic that a third would bring at the moment.. makes no sense, I know!
Bil and his wife are expecting a girl in October, since we do get along quite well, I have laid claim over the little girl.

Family drama is still constant on both sides of the family, mine and dhs, and I am noticing it starting to affect me. It doesn't pertain to us and remain neutral, but we hear about it enough. The neutral position is straining especially since we are on good terms with all.
Maybe I am noticing it more because DH is in the USA at the moment and we cant talk out our stresses.

We have also decided that we want to move back to the big island, no more ferries for us. The move is a few years away, but are so looking forward to it that we are willing to work even harder then we do now to make it accomplishable even faster.

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby glad that summee school is nearly over. Honestly, if what's garnished is enough for A, I'd leave it. Maybe I'm spineless in this but how you've described him I'd be afraid of what he might do if you try to get more. If you're not getting a fair amount for A then I'd go for it. However, you can take what I say with a grain of salt as I'm just an internet stranger.

Gigs I'm sorry about your anxiety and that if was in part due to me. I hope that you can find something. Meditation, essential oils, bubble baths?? A support group might be good unless that gives you more anxiety.

Oh and I hate how your SIL does your poor MIL. She shouldn't be like that. I'm sure she's going through a rough time but no reason to take it out on you or MIL.

Wookie I know I had a boss that got shorter cycles when hitting premenopause. Sucks to have AF so much.

CB thank you. How do you feel about returning to work in a month and a half? I try to look at the silver linings (adult conversation, peaceful lunch). That's great Nuala will get free 30 hours of care!

Pretty hope you got some nice decorations and good luck house hunting

Pacific ugh I hate getting caught up in any drama much less family drama. You know as tough as some things in pregnancy are, I kind of love it. Feeling those movements, listening to the heartbeat.

AFM so Serena is eating better at sitter. She drinks 12 ounces while I'm away which is fantastic. She only drinks 1.5 oz from the bottle. They have to syringe feed her the rest. Due to this she did drop from 3rd to 2nd percentile in weight. Pediatrician is happy with her though and I feel she'll make up for it soon. I've stopped daily weights on her as it was making me to anxious. I'm thinking maybe 2x a week.

We started sleep training Friday night. I puta video monitor in the nursery so I can peak at her. I know some are adamantly against CIO. I discussed with ped and we both agreed it was best for her as I upset her if I'm around but not holding when she wants to sleep. She was napping for sitter and DH without being held or cuddled. It's going pretty well and not much crying, mainly fussing. The newfound freedom I have is making me feel better. Also she wasn't waking to feed every 3 hours, Hallelujah! I'm also enjoying having time to play with Victoria while she naps

 

[DobbyForever]

Gigs I’m sorry the cbd didn’t work. They gave it to my auntie for her cancer pain, but she also doesn’t do well on it. The sleep really does not help things. I feel you. I can’t catch up on sleep either and it sucks. We’re at least down to waking 2-3x a night, but on the days he is up before 6 (most days) it physically kills me. Hopefully things look up soon. As for tubal, I have the same mentality as Shae. You know you best so you gotta just do what works for you. As for SIL wtf

Wookie sorry about the perimeno kinky transition stage

Cb that’s great about the free hours! How are you feeling about going back to work in a few months?

Pretty hope you made the open house! I was bday shopping too. Luckily my best friend has a job at a family run party store and hooked me up with her massive discount. I saved like 30% off. It was great.

PL sorry about the family drama. Being in the middle can be worse than being part of it. Hopefully the house hunting goes well when you start looking!

Fluek so glad the sleep training is going well!

Afm
Thanks all. My only issue is he’s going to refuse to cooperate. It cost about 10k to get the last child support order then another probably close to 5-10 for this latest daycare garnishing. He hasn’t ponied up his paystub. Our original court date is the 8th but we didn’t discuss child support in our motion so we couldn’t bring it up anyway. He didn’t tell anybody. I only found out through a fluke. Rn money is tight because daycare costs so much. In three years, I’ll be fine on my own income. But then I own a condo not house. My stepdad just sold a house for 1.9 mil that is dinky and the market is crashing so they had to take less than asked (2mil). So any extra money I have coming helps to save up.

As for A he’s doing good. He was 33” and about 28lbs at his 23 month. Ped was concerned about his weight compared to height but this kid exercises every day. I honestly think it’s muscle. He outpushed three kids yesterday on this rolling ball when they had the momentum lol. Uncle is jazzed he’s likely to be perfect soccer height

Done with his party but having trouble finding a grocery store cake I want lol I’ll likely end up settling but blah don’t wanna settle.

 

[claireybell]

Pretty TMNT is a pretty theme cool no doubt Alex will enjoy everything! Does he have a Turtles cake?

Omg Gigs i completely forget to comment on the SIL/MIL thing, cannot believe that, its so bloomin cheeky & totally unfair on you guys! MIL should be doing it even! I’d be pretty miffed about it aswell! I work p/t in an office but i do love my 2 days a week, non parenty, no baby chat (well sometimes lol) & doing a sales job & knowing your good at other things aswell as being ‘Mummy’! Plus like you say, extra spending money is nice Def do the Drs apt for something else & then casually ask about the Anxiety.. im sure if your Dr Is lovely & understanding they may be able to suggest or give something

My friend never got compensated either but then i dont think she took the nhs to court, im all for the nhs but thats terrible & negligent in my eyes, they should never of clamped!

Flueks, i had to let Hayden CIO in the the early wks a few times, not so much wanting to but more so i had to as i had things to do & he had to wait & then he would fall asleep lol but then i think thats helped him now when i lay him for a nap or bedtime & hes awake, he falls asleep on his own Its hard hearing them cry though esp when as mothers our natural instinct is to cradle & comfort them, is she on full bottle feed now or are you combi feeding?

Dobby could you make his cake? Or is it a themed one with fondant icing etc..

Pacific how lovely they’re expecting a girl if your fine on bc for time you could always do this for a while until you know your both 100% done :-/

Kinda looking forward to going back to work & not, im quite happy atm to stsy off another year but then i enjoy my own time & I get nothing atm.. plus it’ll do Nuala good for 2 days childcare & fx encourage her potty training!

 

[DobbyForever]

Cb that’s good. Fxed for smooth and quick potty training!

Entitled cake rant inbound
I’m too much of a princess to make his cake. No fondant. I had a $300+ three tier fondant cake for my baby shower that nobody ate because they hate fondant. And I spent over $100 on cupcakes with images on marshmallow fondant that people just chucked the fondant. So between allergies and what not so annoying.

I have my allergy cake: chocolate decadence (vegan, gluten, nut free) with the Avengers logo in fondant on top.

But I wanted a superhero cake (preferably black panther) or even just a generic 2 birthday cake. I can get cake toppers elsewhere. It’s insane that I can’t find one I like. Been to five stores already. The bakery doing my allergy cake can do one but it’s $155. And no offense to my guests but I’m not spending $200 on cake for a second birthday party I didn’t even want to have. His venue was already over $400 and balloons and favors $50. So they’re getting a $30 grocery store cake. I do consider shelling out $70 for mini Sprinkles cupcakes though. I looooove me some Sprinkles. And I can just get some cupcake toppers.

 

[DobbyForever]

Gigs I just saw your latest video that’s some Annabelle comes home s* lol I can’t

 

[claireybell]

Do the cupcake with sprinkles route & buy some lil toppers.. works out lots cheaper esp as you’ve shelled out lotsa $$ already.. A will love his party whatever the food & cakes Also, im fussy about cake toppers aswell haha if they look cheap, or eyes look wonky i wont buy them

 

[claireybell]

& omg those Annabelle films freak me to f**** out! Adam watches them, i always leave the room Lol im rubbish for horrors (face in hands)

 

[gigglebox]

So the SIL thing...her marital crisis is over so she's not going through nearly as much stress. She has been using MIL to babysit excessively (IMO) so her and BIL can do a ton of child free dates. They have been going to coworker parties and happy hour and last night they went to a concert. She tells me they struggle with money but they do all this stuff...not to mention a week long trip to universal studios in September, AND she's looking into adopting a second dog. Cherry on top, she also has mentioned a few times in casual conversation how wonderfuk of a sleeper her baby is (2 weeks younger than Myles) and he STTN already.

We generally get along and have some shared hobbies but she's really been getting under my skin recently.

Speaking of under my skin...I've had a bump on my back for a few weeks now (part of my anxiety) that I'm finally getting checked out today. I'll discuss things with the dr and hopefully I will leave there feeling somewhat relieved. Maybe he can get me a script for anxiety. In the interim, my anxiety is really elevated consequently can't win!

Dobby I would make my own cake and shove an action figure toy in the top. That way it doubles as a gift! And cost effective!

Pretty how many kids do you see yourself having? I missed what you wrotr about the open house but I'd love to hear how it went!

Fluek I'm glad you are getting a little more freedom from S. And frankly it's hard NOT to trigger my anxiety these day so don't worry about it.

PL yay for moving goals! It's also great you two are on the same page. I hear you on the "one more" kid thing. Right now I'm done but my attitude before was I'd do it if I was guaranteed a girl...sounds like you can relate to that!

Which reminds me, my friends back home had a girl! They were waiting until birth to find out. She is so celebrated on the dad's side especially because she is the first girl in a coupke generations. Also he has two brothers but they're both gay with no intentions of having kids so a girl is what everyone was kind of hoping for, especially my friend's mom. Anywho I hope I can have some kind of relationship with her as an honorary aunt, if not one of my own actual nieces one day...

 

[DobbyForever]

Gigs idk how you handle that cuz I’d lose my s*. I can understand a splurge here and there. I definitely have spent some money on things outside my financial ability for sanity. But yeah maybe not get a second dog. I just still can’t believe that she feels like she has some moronic claim over MIL. I also can’t believe MIL isn’t like man this is unbalanced we should have an equitable schedule. Ugh

Cb I’m about to do that lol just get a sheet cake and toss a figurine set on it and call it a day. Was hoping a set would go on sale for prime day but no such luck

 

[pacificlove]

Gigs,I'd loose my shit with sil... You can't have it all, all the time! Maybe have a heart to heart with mil and voice your concerns that she is getting used and you'd love for her to have more time to spend with your boys.
Less time with mil and maybe that will curb their overspending habit?

 

[pacificlove]

Dobs wowThat's some expensive cake. I am far too cheap for that if no one likes cake, how about ice cream cake?

Gigs, I can totally relate to that. Honestly I was so convinced that E was a girl.... However as soon as he came out I was more glad labour was over that I wasn't even disappointed. It's hitting me a bit now .. we will see what October brings when sil has her girl. Maybe someday I can have a daughter like relationship with her, be the cool aunt that she talks about stuff with she would not with her parents that in itself is better, correct?
DH has 3 brothers (yeah, mil had 4 boys), best year another one is getting married and they won't be long to start having kids after.