General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[pacificlove]

Dobs, Shae: boil water advisory is when the water from your faucets is no longer meeting the health standards due to some sort of contamination such as bacteria or turbidity. In order to make it drinkable again, you boil it first to kill the bad.

Kitty: my eye wants to see a line, fingers tighly crossed for you!

Busy fall ahead of us, between classes, dhs work, and my sil is having her baby next month (their first).

 

[wookie130]

Kitty, I'm seeing a faint hint of something, particularly toward the bottom of the test...keeping everything crossed for you, dear.

Dobs- Does CA not have a child support recovery unit? If so, call and bug the hell out of them for your payments. They'll go after him. And I'd consider an attorney too, if this keeps happening. My SIL was just awarded $125,000 in back child support pay with her attorney, and now the asshat CANNOT not give her the $900 a month he owes his kids. I'd get aggressive. That is A's money, meant for his needs, and for his welfare. Go after it. A deserves it.

Yeah, life is busy here too. We've been in school since August 26th, and work has been fine. I like my class this year...I have 3 students...one with Down's Syndrome, one with a frontal lobe brain injury, and the other has profound autism. They're a good little group.

Hannah just started 1st grade, and it's been going well thus far. She had a pool party for one of her friend's birthdays yesterday, so that was fun. Oscar is in his 2nd year of preschool, and just turned 5 a month ago. He's hilarious, and full of energy.

Char will be 2 in November, and I've been planning her party. We're doing a Two-tti Frutti theme, all with fruit decorations, a big pineapple/watermelon decorated cake, etc. It should be cute.

Anyone else looking ahead at Christmas? We've started getting gifts for the kids, and getting stuff all planned out present-wise for each of them. We have to start in September in order to be able to afford everything. It helps to space it out, for sure.

Halloween is also underway, and I have their costumes:

H is going to be Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony...
O is going to be Miles Morales from Spiderman into the Spiderverse...
C is going to be some weird llama/unicorn creature (I found the costume at Target, and it's adorable and kind of hilarious).

I just have to grab some thermal long underwear-type stuff they can wear underneath their costumes, as it's usually quite chilly on Halloween night here in Iowa.

Anyway, I'm off to drink more coffee and continue waiting for my kids to wake up so we can get ready for church.

 

[DobbyForever]

Wookie I already have a court order and his wages are garnished. Googled it and it looks like your CSRU is the equivalent to our DCSS (department Igbo child support services). It’s different because he lost his job. So unless he’s collecting unemployment (doubtful), I’m not getting anything until either a court says pony up from your savings or he gets a new job.

Sounds like things are going great!!! I haven’t thought passed Halloween because idk what I want to do lol. Might take A down to the pop up Halloween store but now that my friend works at the local party store literally across the street I feel like I’m cheating on her

PL that’s a bummer . Hopefully the water gets sorted soon

 

[gigglebox]

Hi strangers!
Pl you are so sweet to ask about me
I didn't read too far back. KittyI wouldn't trust a test this early but that said, I definitely see a line. Fingers tightly crossed!

Dobs wtf why did exass get canned? Didn't he recently get a raise? Guess you'll be adding this month into his tab, eh?

Pl yay for riding again! I loved it and actually found an affordable place for lessons but it's 40-45 minutes away and I can't figure out how and where to work it into our schedule :/

I have been incredibly busy here. I am really kicking my side hobby of buying and reselling into high gear (vlogs on my channel if anyone is that interested) so that has been consuming a lot of my free time.

I've been ok, except having a really difficult time with homeschooling ds1. He is so difficult to teach new material to as he has zero interest in doing anything that is remotely hard for him. We will keep at it and I have to work on my patience but our lessons get so long because he gets distracted or frustrated...but to be fair we are still so new to it all, I know I have to keep that "learning curve" in mind for him and myself in this new role as teacher.

In slightly frightening for me news, we may have had an "oopsie" yesterday. I am SOOOOO not ready for another kid, and am increasingly set on no more so hopefully nothing comes of that...Iam having fertile signs but no ov pains yet so i hope that's a good thing.

In very sad news, I found out today my father may have cancer. I won't go into details now but he's having a biopsy this week. Any prayers and/or good juju are appreciated.

It's been a long day so off to sleep i go and i'll try not to disappear for as long this time.

 

[DobbyForever]

Idk the termination letter didn’t say. His raise was getting a job with a different company. He was always looking for the next best thing. It was a smaller company. Lay offs in tech are super popular. He got a month’s severance though (which didn’t get garnished because he got it last month so it’s complicated). But my guys is they had to downsize or got bought out and with only a few months at that company he is the lowest man on the totem pole.

Sending all good thoughts. Hoping whatever is ailing him is benign or easily treated.

Also sending you a vacuum to suck up any baby dust near you to ship to kit

Any particular subject/concept? Wool and I might be able to lend some ideas of resources that might help

 

[kittykat7210]

This is 8dpo, can’t test again for a week

 

[DobbyForever]

I’m still seeing a shadow. Why a week?

 

[kittykat7210]

I’m still seeing a shadow. Why a week?

Because I’m on holiday and my frers don’t arrive until Wednesday

 

[shaescott]

Kitty I see a shadow, sorry you have to wait so long no drugstores nearby that you could buy a test from to use at 10 dpo or 12dpo?

Dobs we don’t have an official TTC start date really, it’s whenever after Nov. 2022 wedding that we both agree to. SO wants to get a little travel in so it depends on our incomes. If we can afford to have a big honeymoon and maybe take a babymoon while I’m pregnant, it might be pretty soon after the wedding that we start TTC. He admits he can’t wait for the IUD to come out because it pokes him. Honestly I guarantee my parents or his mom would watch our child if he wanted to go on a child-free trip for a week, so I’m not terribly worried about missing out on that, I just wouldn’t want to leave them that long until they’re done breastfeeding, so the first year would be a no go for travel. Idk. I’m all for taking out the IUD the moment the honeymoon ends (I don’t want to have breakthrough bleeding my whole honeymoon), so it’ll depend on what SO agrees to. Right now I know he wants to wait a few years but we’ll see. Once we have a place of our own he might feel differently. Fingers crossed lol. I can also just tell him that after the wedding I’m taking out the IUD, if you don’t want a kid it’s your job to prevent it lol

 

[kittykat7210]

I’m away with my family (who don’t know we are ttcing) so I won’t really have an opportunity, I did however find a frer i didn’t know I had so will use that at some point but it’s really hard not to just use it

I’ve always hated hormonal contraceptives shae, so I agree that as soon as you feel ready then get it removed and use non hormonal contraceptives until you’re both ready!

 

[pacificlove]

Gigs, awe too bad the place is so far away. Is there maybe a place closer (or even a rescue) where you can volunteer your time abd get comfy around horses again? At least spent some time around them?
Sorry about the homeschooling not going as well yet, hopefully soon as you both get used to the routine.

Dobs, dang, hang in there girl. I keep my fingers crossed that the sob will soon have to make a large sum payment to you.

 

[shaescott]

Kitty try to hold off for a few days for the most accurate result! I know it’s super hard to wait though.

Yeah I talked to SO today about me getting the IUD out after the honeymoon and he wasn’t a fan of the idea but didn’t say no (because he knows he has no say in it). He said he wants to have a house before we start TTC because neither of us want to raise a baby in an apartment, so really we’ll have to see when we can get a house. His job might move around a bit for the first few years, which would mean no house hunting. We’ll have to see, idk.

 

[Keepsmiling91]

Also sending you a vacuum to suck up any baby dust near you to ship to kit

Haven’t popped in for a while so thought I’d catch up, this comment was so worth returning for

 

[DobbyForever]

I’m so California lol like what’s what wrong with babies in apartments/condos? Most of our housing is high density living but tbh a house is way easier aka backyards rock plus babies are so pricey that you run the risk of not affording a house later. That’s hard though when you’ve been so patient like who wants to keep tacking on years

Keeps you have to watch Gigs videos “how many mermaids had to die to make this shirt” had me dying

Kit finding random unexpired frers is the best lol it’s like finding money in your pocket you forgot about. Fxed

Thanks everyone! Still no sign of the check for attorney’s fees. I have a phone call with my lawyer so I’ll ask of it came through her office. He always likes to backdate it then send it as late as he can since the first three were late so he owes me an additional $300 in interest, which he clearly isn’t planning to pay. But he knows if he misses any more I’ll drag him to court to get the interest. But yeah I have one more daycare payment left and my PGE bill. I can’t pull more out of A’s savings without closing it. So I’m going to have to crunch the numbers and hope it works or borrow from my mom or beg his daycare to postpone payment a week or have my grandmother send the $200. Idk

 

[shaescott]

Dobs geez I’m so sorry he’s made money so tight for you I hope he starts paying up soon, one way or another.

Definitely nothing wrong with raising a baby in an apartment. I just would be worried about noise from other tenants waking the baby, baby screaming all night waking other tenants, not having our own backyard, etc. I grew up in a more rural area, where everyone has a backyard. And yes, trying to buy a house with a baby would be a struggle since babies are so expensive. I hate to tack on more years, definitely. SO will graduate in May, so hopefully he’ll have a job by summer 2020 (next summer, wow), and the wedding is set for November 2022 so that’s 2 years for him to work on building his reputation in the industry. Better than no years, right? So we aren’t starting from scratch money wise when we get married, unless he doesn’t get a job until then, and hopefully I’d have gotten a job because I graduate May 2021, so even then we should be saving up starting summer 2021. Fingers crossed that wherever he is we can find a cheap apartment. Of course some of that saving up will be for the wedding and honeymoon, but I don’t want to spend $30,000 on the wedding like the average couple apparently does, I’ll splurge on my dress and that’s about it. If both of us can find a job right away, we hope to live off of one salary and save up with the other, but we’ll see what happens because life doesn’t always go how we plan it to.
Sorry, rambling. It’s actually pretty stressful that SO will be graduating in May, I can’t believe he’s gonna be looking for a job in less than 8 months. It’s crazy to me. Time flies, huh?

 

[DobbyForever]

Adulting sucks you have every right to be scared. BUT scared is a good motivator .

I hope you can find a good starter home! Idk how the rest of the world works. The Bay is so bizarre. I have coworkers who retire never having bought a home. I’m honestly still in shock everything fell together for me to get my condo. Definitely a series of fortunate events lol. Took A to the pool finally trying to get over my germaphobia plus now that school is in less people in the pool.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Dobby - This sucks that you're still dealing with all of this. Can't really offer advice, so I'll just offer a cyber hug and keep my FX that you get some decent money soon. :/

PL - Sorry to hear about your water situation, but good for your landlords to do something about it ASAP. And yay for saddle time and swim lessons. SO and I wanna put Alex in swim lessons, but there's no point in signing him up now until we know which community centre we'll be living near.

wookie - Glad to hear you're keeping busy and the kids sound like they're doing well.

Gigs - Keeping my FX for your dad.

Kitty - Sending you some baby dust and hoping your next test is an unmistakable BFP.

shae - Sounds like you've thought about this a lot and are doing some serious planning. Good for you. Here's hoping you both get good jobs and can have a nice wedding, find a good house, and get to baby making ASAP.

Re: circumcision. On one hand, I'd like to be mature enough to give a diplomatic response, or possibly even no response, but at the same time, that is absolutely horrific and I can't stay silent. I am 1000% anti-circ. My dad was "whole" and never had an issue and Alex has been fine too. I'm in an anti-circ group on FB and they have a ton of info, including how the difference in infection rates between circ'd and uncirc'd guys is so minuscule that there's really no point in doing it. And how often it gets botched or the baby has severe blood loss or a collapsed lung from screaming so much. You know who doesn't have issues like that? Boys that were left the fuck alone! Plus, there's the whole consent aspect. I would never pierce my daughter's ears until she specifically asked for it and I would never alter my son's body without his permission. I'm so sorry you had to witness that, shae. And I'll bet the parents were told everything went fine and have no idea what hell they put their little baby through. There is absolutely no excuse for not being properly numbed.

Re: Christmas/Halloween. I already bought this 3-sports-in-one net thing. It comes with stuff to be able to play soccer, hockey, and baseball. I also wanna get Alex this cute doctor's kit I saw at WalMart. And he fell in love with this DJ octopus toy thing, so I'll maybe grab one of those. Plus some clothing and gender neutral Peppa Pig toys cuz he loves that show. For the newbie, I'm at a bit of a loss cuz we have lots of hand-me-down baby toys and clothes. I did get him this cute little vtech hammer and maybe I'll treat him to a few new outfits. For Halloween, the only costume we have for Alex is a Leo (from TMNT) one. And I don't wanna commit to a newborn costume just yet on the off chance I don't deliver til November.

AFM, 33 days (/22 business days) to go. O.M.G! Seeing and feeling lots of movements and it was confirmed at my last MW appt that he does appear to be head down already. But it didn't seem like his head is properly in my pelvis yet and I've noticed I haven't had any lightning crotch, but hopefully soon. I'm definitely dealing with some hemorrhoids and creamy CM (sorry, TMI) and if I squat down (like to help Alex with his shoes) for more than 10 seconds, it feels like my lady bits are already being uncomfortably stretched. I was hoping to birth in that position, but I may have to just be on my knees if it already hurts.
Nothing new to report on the house hunting, but we just bought a new washer and dryer for SO's place. We won't get it til sometime after the 27th though, so I'll just keep lugging bags and baskets full of laundry back and forth until then.
Also, on top of finding out my sister is pg, I found out a friend from high school is too. She's due late Feb and has been asking me a ton of questions. She also lives close by, so it'll be nice to have someone to hang with during mat leave.

 

[DobbyForever]

Pl that’s so great! I had a coworker who was pg, we were just a couple weeks apart. It was nice but I moved schools and we’re different grade levels. I am so envious of my friends on fb who have siblings of pregnancy and beyond buddies. Honestly at this rate I don’t think any of my friends are getting married and most have decided they don’t want kids.

Kudos on a new washing set! So helpful.

It’s so crazy! I’m so excited that it’s almost time.

Putting my circumcision stuff in a spoiler. I know some ladies prefer to keep controversial stuff off the thread. I think I was polite until the last sentence but that’s not at anybody here so .

Spoiler

I wold just be careful with where you get the information from. I do lessons every year with my fifth graders to show how with organizational bias there is research to back up everything. People will pay to skew results or set the research to provide the answer wanted, so you can honestly find contradicting information on just about any big topic. Which is why I think it should be a totally personal decision. I would love for things to be about what A wants, but end of day kids are kids. Their language and overall development doesn’t support them making consensual decisions of that grandeur. Earrings can be taken out, clothes can be donated, activities can be quit. But this is a medical procedure that cannot be undone yet also grows more complicated with age. So it’s a parent’s duty to make that choice based on what they think is best, and if a kid holds it against them then there’s a different dynamic at play or that kid is an ungrateful d*ck, pun intended lol.

 

[Keepsmiling91]

I’m just going to keep it simple. Circumcision is a nay from me. I don’t think it’s very popular over here in the UK, I’m pretty sure our hospitals don’t even ask if it’s something you’re considering? But seems to be the norm overseas.

Shae- I envy how switched on and determined you are. You have your plan and I have 100% confidence you will smash every goal of yours. I think at your age I was just wondering how to get enough money together for Friday night drinks lol, I hope my children have better ambition than me!

Pretty- ohh you’re so close! LOVE the bump pic u look amazing and ur tats are cool. Ohh those little outfits make my ovaries burst!

KIT- got everything crossed for you lovely, although abit disappointed we won’t be getting anymore early line porn!

Gigs- so sorry to hear about your dad and sending all the positive juju possible xx hope you’re ok and taking care of yourself x

Afm - Been awhile since I popped in! Just gotten over the 7 weeks summer holidays with the kids lol, so glad life has returned back to normal! Theo is soo big now, makes me sad! I also have a GINGER son! Well I didn’t see that one coming! Lol (his dad and I, both have brown hair.) He’s very cheeky, VERY mummified.

Will upload some pics of the sprogs as it’s been a while, we had a photo shoot done in the chamomile field although it was a disaster (daisy flicked hot pink nail varnish down her WHIRE dress that she found in my car 5 mins before photos, I had my make up done, hated it, came home and cried before the shoot and redone it myself. Then, the lady asked them to do a twirl in the field for the photos, at that moment I realised daisy was wearing no knickers! But hey, that’s life with 4 kids for you!! *grabs the nearest bottle of half empty gin*

 

[kittykat7210]

I’ve got some serious boob ache going on, bled a tiny bit today (10dpo) but literally teeny tiny bit then nothing, so hoping for something!!! I’m trying to wait until Saturday morning

Keeps those pictures are stunning!!!!!

Spoiler: Circumcision

I plan on getting our son (if we have one) circumcised despite it not being the norm here, Ive seen some disgusting forskins in my life and have only met clean circumcised penis’, plus my husband had his removed because of a problem with his and he said that he’d rather have had it done earlier in life.