General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[kittykat7210]

I truly forgot how difficult the newborn phase was. And it’s even harder with a toddler and we’ve only had Evie back for a day! I’m shattered. The sleep disturbance is absolutely killer, because you’re staying up for about an hour (sometimes more) each time they wake up! Josie favours one boob so I’m having to try to trick her into the other one so that I don’t lose supply in one. Although most of the engorgement from the last couple of days has gone from both and now I’m worried I’m losing it anyway! I’m sure my boobs barely ever felt empty with my first!

I’m not sure what to do, I’m glad my husband is off with me at the moment but that’s only for another week then I’m doing wake up to 2:30pm alone with 2 kids and actually that scares the crap out of me! Plus I’ll have to take over the nighttime nappies (husband offered to do them whilst he’s off)

How do you ladies cope???

 

[Flueky88]

Kitty, Serena wouldn't sleep in a bassinet, only in my arms. I ended up bedsharing/cosleeping. It was something I had to do. I followed the rules for safe cosleeping. I would let her dream feed so I could get more rest and be better prepared for the day. I know bedsharing isn't for everyone and I wish I didn't have to with S as it does make me a bit nervous. I was still very aware of her though and pediatrician even reassured me that while it isn't recommended he knew I wasn't impaired by drugs so chances if me rolling over on her were low.

Could you get a family member to come and help with E once your DH goes back to work? I had help from DH for 3.5 weeks, then my dad stayed for a week with us, and the next week my mom came over 2 days to help.

 

[kittykat7210]

Unfortunately lockdown doesn’t allow it, my mum originally planned to come up for a week but she’s no longer allowed, it’s just something I’ll have to work out! I think the main problem will be finding time for me to eat! Josies a boob monster and basically is always eating and anytime I’m not feeding her Evie’s demanding food herself!

how are you doing flueks? Feeling better or not? Xx

 

[Flueky88]

Kitty, I loved almonds as a quick, easy food while nursing. Baby wearing was a life saver too so I could make a quick sandwhich or something. Sorry the lockdown messed up your help.

Felt much better but started feeling bad again yesterday. I got sick this morning without een trying to brush my teeth and have an awful headache. I feel like I have a horrible hangover. Maybe soon it'll get better.

 

[DobbyForever]

PL sorry to hear that. Any chance they just didn’t want to inconvenience you and knew you’d come over if they told you? Hopefully the surgery and recovery are smooth for him.

Kit I didn’t have two kids so I’m no help there. I was up every two hours to feed A, but they were always pretty quick feedings. ESP because he was bottle fed and I eventually got him used to drinking cold or room temp milk/formula. All I can say is mantra stuff but when people tell me to say a mantra to solve my problems I want to punch them. Hugs I guess just don’t be afraid to phone for help. I know it’s hard with covid but if you need a break take it. Technically here in the states you can break SIP to care for a family member in need so you know lol me and my loop holes

Flueks sorry the nausea came back

afm I managed to lift my arm yesterday but probably shouldn’t cuz it hurts like heck today. I didn’t take my muscle relaxer yesterday because it messed me up over the weekend. I had to call my mom to get A because I couldn’t keep my eyes open except when I’d wake to deal with tummy issues. I took it at night and didn’t get too drowsy, so I took it this morning and so far so good.

 

[pacificlove]

Kitty I remember that overwhelming feeling of being left alone with 2 kiddos for the first time.
Don't feel bad for giving dd1 extended screen time, and asking her for help to keep her involved with baby things. Simple tasks such as bringing wipes, throwing diapers out, etc. The thought now is scary, but remember you are supermom, you'll come up with a plan and what works on the fly .
As for sleep, I am a big believer in safe co-sleeping. We did a ton of dreamfeeds and I can say we barely skipped a beat with lossed sleep.

Dobs, no my parents keep secrets because they think I am keeping secrets from them....it's a literal wtf moment!


Did I mention we've had repeat visits by a black bear? First time he came at night, we thought someone was trying to break through the door. he went for the diaper trash can by the front door (no food, just diapers in there), however have since removed it into the garage too with the other garbage can. Came back a few days later, just a dump in the driveway was the evidence and an open garage door. We wonder if he got spooked because the garbage was untouched again at night.
Last week, I am working in the kitchen and ds1 says "momma there is a bear in the backyard". I thought he was making up a story but checked and saw a bear laying down in the grass eating weeds. 11:30 am!! When he started checking things around the house, I went on the deck and with the scariest mommy voice I yelled him back into the forest. Loud enough to alert the neighbor
Can't say I feel at ease in our own yard and I truly miss our dog.

 

[DobbyForever]

Aww PL that’s so . I’m sorry they’re being like that.

Also holey cannolis! That’s scary! Hopefully the bear got the message and stays in the woods. Idk what if he with animals and baby/toddler poop. But I know the dogs follow A to try and catch his poop before I do. So gross.

 

[kittykat7210]

God I can’t even imagine how scary that would be! I’m so glad we don’t have bears in our country!

I really wouldn’t be able to co sleep, I’m a really deep sleeper! It would scare me far too much because I’m sure I would squash her.

 

[kittykat7210]

And now she’s cluster feeding, I’m shattered. 4 hours now. When will it end

 

[Flueky88]

I'm so sorry Kitty. Newborn stage is tough and I thought it was much harder when you have a toddler to look after as well. I think S would clusterfeed about every evening for first 4 to 5 weeks. She didn't have a great latch due to multiple ties though. I had low supply with V and had just enough to borderline low with S. What helped me through those tough, early days was reminding myself the benefits of breastfeeding and how much easier it was later than formula (no having to mix and warm bottles in motn, etc.) There is nothing wrong with choosing to supplement though if you need to mama. Oh and wanted to say don't put too much pressure on yourself to be "super mom". Once I accepted that I couldn't always keep one from crying, I felt much more at ease. Sometimes it's just about prioritizing which one needs you most and the other may have to cry for a minute or two. hang in there, it seems like eternity while you are in the thick of it, but it truly is brief.

 

[DobbyForever]

I’m sorry Kit! Hopefully she’s done soon and takes a good nap so you can rest.

 

[shaescott]

Kitty I’m sorry you’re struggling. I’m afraid I have no experience and therefore no advice, but I know you can do this

PL oh geez, kinda funny that you could use mom voice on a bear but scary that he was in your yard. We almost never see bears around here but they saw one in the local park (consists of hiking trails and a lake) last week! I can’t remember ever hearing about a bear sighting here before this, only a bobcat sighting when I was in elementary school and lots of coyote sightings (one once stared at me a foot away from my window!)

Flueks I’m sorry about the vomiting, I hope it resolves quickly!

 

[pacificlove]

Talked with the neighbor yesterday and they had the bear in the their yard the day before in the afternoon.
They know that last year we had a mom bear with 2 cubs living not far from here and suspect it's one of the cubs that's hanging around.
Our town is literally at the end of the road when you drive up the coast, after this town all you find is untouched land/wilderness and no more roads. Our town has about 15k people, but it's not unusual to hear about bears at the garbage cans at the grocery store for example or going for apples on fruit trees in the fall.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh man I would not want to run across momma bear with her cubs. Do you just teach the kids boundaries and what to do? Or like do they only get to go outside supervised? I’m paranoid enough as it is without bears lol

 

[Flueky88]

Pacific cool and scary at the same times. Living at the base of the Appalachian mountains we do see bears occasionally, but I never had at my home. I think a year or two ago there was one walking around downtown. I like bears from a distance though.

Kitty how are things today?

 

[kittykat7210]

Tiring, Josie fed constantly from 9pm-1.30am last night, and has fed constantly since 5pm this evening. It’s just cluster feeding, which is fine but tiring. Hoping since she started a little earlier this evening we will have a slightly better night but that’s probably wishful thinking!

Evie has decided she doesn’t like me anymore, she’s only sat with me once in 3 days. And refuses to give me goodnight kisses and cuddles now. I don’t think she’s happy I’m not giving her attention but with Josie constantly boobing it’s really hard!

 

[PrettyInInk42]

kitty - Both of my babies were cluster feeders too. I don't know that I have too much advice cuz I was spending 8+ hours a day with my mom on weekdays, so I had someone to attend to my toddler or hold the baby while I had a meal. But I did spend a fair amount of time on SO's couch. It has a recliner on each end and the middle backing folded down (revealing cup holders and a place for snacks). A lot of nights, I'd get comfy with Matthew on a feeding pillow and in my arms and pass out. There were some in bed cosleeping nights here and there. And even now, he's been waking up at like 6am, so I'll bring him into bed and let him feed while I snooze. I know it's hard, but it won't last forever. And Evie will get over it.

dobby - Ugh, I dunno how family can treat family like that. And thank God I never had stepparents. But anyway, I hope you get much better soon.

PL - Jeez, I would probably freak out if I just saw a bear in my yard. Gotta love the suburbs where the worst we get is skunks and seeing a wild bunny is a treats. lol

Flueky - Hope you're feeling better today.

And I hope everyone else is doing well too.

AFM, SO's condo has tentatively sold. There's always a chance that something could happen and it doesn't work out, but that's fairly unlikely. He's getting about $6K under his asking price, but it's still close enough to be worth it.
He also had some blood work done about a week and a half ago and got the results. Most of his numbers are ok, but his A1C reading was 10, so he technically has type 2 diabetes. At 34. He now has some glucose monitor that attaches to his arm and stays there for 2 weeks. Looks like it's time for a definite change in diet and lifestyle for both of us.
Alex has now been potty training for 3 days and he seems to be doing fairly well. Got just about all of his pees in the potty on days 1 and 2, when he was pantsless. Peed in 5 pairs of pants today, but was able to go for a 30 minute walk outside and didn't have an accident. Also pooped in the potty yesterday and today without fuss or being prompted. I definitely will not be waiting so long when it's Matthew's turn.
And in other news, we DTD on Monday night, sans condom. I haven't gotten my period back yet, but I'm also a little over 6 months pp. I've taken a couple (recently expired) O tests and they seem to be negative. But anyway, is it safe to say I'm now in TWW territory? lol

 

[kittykat7210]

Glad the condo sold although sorry about the diabetes! On the potty training front we have this issue with Evie, pantless she’s perfect, in pants she just wees! And this is 5 months in! Can’t really suggest anything apart from trying to get them to sit on the potty every so often even if they don’t need it. We’ve managed to mostly keep Evie dry using this method, although sometimes it does take a bit of bribing to get her to sit down!

but yes, unprotected sex when you don’t know where you are in your cycle definitely makes you qualify for the TWW!

 

[DobbyForever]

Yay for the condo selling! Hopefully just some diet changes are all he needs.

A was very similar. That oh crap book talks a lot about how pants/training pants can feel too similar to a diaper. That’s why she goes pants only then pants with underwear. A did the same thing, wet 7 pants before nap. So I followed the book’s advice to “hand them success”.

We spent most of the day pantsless but then as soon as he peed, I’d put his pants on and talk to him about how we pee in the potty. At first, he’d wear the pants just five minutes. Then 10. Then 30. Then an hour.

he does still have trouble remembering to take his pants down to pee because we spent a lot of time pantless, but he’ll do it with a prompt.

 

[DobbyForever]

Just popping in quick to say neck is better. Have almost full range of motion back in my right arm. It’s still weak and it shakes a lot after I use it, but I’m down to one aleve in the morning because it gets painfully stiff at night. PT on Thursday to see what she says about the shakiness and getting my strength back

Trigger warning

Spoiler

in less cool news I just found out a former colleague killed her self a few weeks ago and another passed from health stuff. So that’s two close work friends who have lost their strength in 5 months. Just sucks.

but to sandwich my bad news, I’m three weeks sober today. Yesterday was my first really depressed wish I could just drink my feelings away day. I’ve been drinking half a glass of apple juice when I get the urge to drink. Also bought some tea today. Interestingly I made this choice to stop drinking on a communion day and my one month anniversary will be on Pentecost. My grandmother says there are no coincidences.