General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[Flueky88]

Shae I don't think it's wrong to wish that it would fail to prevent pregnancy. Lying about using birth control when you aren't using any would be wrong.

Dobby I'm sorry your family/mom isn't being more supportive. I think it's a bit crazy to imagine keeping a 3 y.o. from touching others and understand why they can only be in the backyard.

Pacific congrats to sil and yay for a pup baking. Also, I'm totally done with pregnancy. I'm happy that chapter of my life is coming to a close.


AFM had appt this morming. I'm 3 almost 4cm dilated and still 70% effaced. Decided not to request a sweep as I was goimg to be picking up girls early and didn't want it to stir up labor at a bad time. Plus, even though I would much rather just go into labor naturally I think that an induction is the best option for baby E so I can get antibiotics in. Not sure when it'll be. The lady called this evening to explain that I won't receive a call until between 5 and 7 the evening prior. So yeah that sucks as far as planning.

Ive been having lots of irregular contractions all day and now I'm having diarrhea. I feel like my body might be doing a clearing out before labor. In any case, almost midnight so going to try to sleep some.

 

[shaescott]

PL yay for puppy! Congrats to your SIL!

Yeah he’s free to use condoms whenever he wants for extra protection, I had suggested using condoms during fertile days anyway in combination with the diaphragm. He’s also free to say no to sex. He’s aware it’s somewhat less effective so he’s informed of the risk. If he still chooses to engage, he accepts that risk.

Flueks ooo that’s more dilated than you were last time right? I thought you were not at all dilated at the previous appointment. The diarrhea does sound like it could be your body clearing out in preparation for labor. That’s annoying about the induction and not knowing what day it’ll be until the night before.

Yeah I would never lie about using a preventative measure, people consent to the conditions of sex and if he’s consenting to protected sex and I’m lying about being protected, that’s essentially assault in my mind. Either way it’s a huge breach of trust and super morally wrong imo. He’s just worried about the diaphragm knowing it’s less effective and I’m choosing it partially cuz I know it’s less effective (though not fully, most of it is wanting to get off hormones), so I feel bad. But I won’t stop him from using extra protection, I’m just done putting hormones in my body. It’s annoying that the burden of preventing pregnancy generally falls on the woman. I want my body to be allowed to do its own thing and follow its natural cycles etc, I’m done altering those processes, ya know?

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae I mean idk. It’s your body and you can choose what form of birth control you want. Plus, there are very real downsides to the alternatives. Don’t be hard on yourself. As long as he’s cool with it, though again your body your choice, totally nothing wrong there. sounds like you two talked it out and are on the same page

And thanks. Ftr I meant General you not actually you. Was too tired to be specific at the time

PL that’s exciting on both fronts! Woohoo! So glad things are moving on the puppy front.

flueky definitely all promising signs! Fxed you get some rest tonight.

afm thanks. I feel better. Just needed to let it out. All I do is work and mom and cycle through the same mundane chores. But a boring life is something to be grateful for

 

[Flueky88]

Shae I had been 2cm and 70% starting at my 36 week appt.

I don't blame you for wanting something nonhormonal in terms of birth control. It's one of the reasons I never went back on the pill. I'm not a huge fan of the thought of an iud either. In any case I think you are in the clear and shouldn't be any guilt if an unplanned pregnancy occured.

Dobby ugh, rest isn't coming so well. Woken up to 3x in less than 4 hours for bathroom trips. Also having weird nightmare that the place we are staying at is haunted but then tge dream transformed into being about Elsa and Anna from frozen being stuck in a haunted ship. Lol

 

[Flueky88]

Quick update. It was a prelabor clean out. Got to hospital around 8 a.m. and checked around 9, 6cm. Water hasn't broken so labor is slower than what I had previously. I don't think I'll get 2nd iv antibiotic dose in but that's okay. Update more later

 

[pacificlove]

Good luck fkueky! Thinking of you!

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Ooo, exciting, Flueky. Good luck!

 

[DobbyForever]

Omg Flueky that's such a crazy nightmare! Sorry to hear that the night wasn't restful. Hoping everything is going well.

 

[Flueky88]

Thanks guys. Sorry the end was intense. Waters were broken at 9cm and pain level exploded. It didn't take long to fully dilate after that and about 10 minutes of pushing. She was sunny side up but was able to avoid epidural. The umbilical cord broke from placenta before delivering placenta. That manual removal hurt! I didn't tear though so I feel pretty good other than tired. Erika was born at 225pm weighing 7lb 1oz and 20 1/4in tall. She was actually my longest labor, 9.5 hours, but think it's cause my water didn't break before labor began.
Think I'll try to get some rest now.

 

[DobbyForever]

Congratulations! I’m glad you have your little girl! Rest up. You earned it! No epidural! Boss!

 

[shaescott]

Flueks congratulations! Sunny side up without an epidural is some wonder woman stuff, you rock! It’s interesting to me how much the amniotic fluid cushions the contractions and how much worse they are when your water breaks. Anyway, welcome to the world little Erika! Hopefully you can both get some quality rest.

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby thank you!

Shae yes it is a bit crazy how that works. Shew, at the moment I was deeply regreting not getting an epidural. I had been in pain and then pain got worse. The contractions didn't really let up until I got to 10 cm so it was just intense dealing with that pain without a break. I definitely kept saying "fuck, fuck, fuck" bahaha but it was the only time I cussed and it wasn't directed at anyone. Bahahaha when I first tried pushing I was so exhausted from the pain it wasn't effective so once I got a break from pain I wa able to focus. Pushing was more painful than it was with S but thinking that's from sunnyside up with E. I'm not sure how far the midwife went to get placenta out but I'm thinking pretty far since she said the cord broke from it. After pushing a baby out it definitely was the last thing I wanted but I know it had to come out. She was pushing hard on my abdomen too so it would break free easier.

I'm feeling pretty great though. Not needing the periwash bottle or numbing spray. Just ibuprofen for the afterbirth cramps. So glad I went without epidural as my recovery after S's birth was easier than V's (with epidural). In any case, we are doing well. Might be able to go home later today.

 

[Flueky88]

Oh and a pic

 

[DobbyForever]

awww little nb face!!!! Love it! Her eyes are so alert

Reading that terrifies me. You really are a champ. So glad you’re recovering so well. Hoping you ended up being discharged!

afm DrAmA lol

My brother texted to say I can come for thanksgiving if I get texted Friday afternoon then isolate until Thursday. I laughed. What’s worse is he thought I worked M-W, so he actually thought I would either take days off of work or battle with A for three days to teach. Smfh. At least that made me feel like bad for laughing. And the kicker I said I hope I haven’t offended anybody or hurt anybody’s feelings and how we’ve had a Thanksgiving apart once (though they be over to take some of my food) and all he had to say was, “I’m just worried that the food won’t be good”. Like gee thanks!

but in better news no traffic coming back from speech so I got in n out. Yum. Also finally cleaned my closet. I have a floor again and can actually open the door/walk in so nice to get it done finally. A doesn’t let me do laundry. He likes to hide in the clothes or throw them or cuddle or pee on them r_r

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Congrats, Flueky! Such a cutie. ^_^

And I hear you about having a better recovery without the epi. My recovery with Matthew was a lot quicker and less painful than with Alex. Dunno if that was cuz I already knew what to expect, or maybe I was more careful with my pushing cuz I could feel everything.

 

[DobbyForever]

OMG OMG just went I thought the DrAmA couldn't get any more real!

Long story short, through a series of chance events I discovered today that my stepdad filed paperwork to change my mom's status on their house deed from co-owner to co-tenant behind her back then changed the delivery of the tax records to his job so she'd never find out. My attorney says it may work, but he's never actually seen someone attempt this before. So yeah. Kind of glad to not be going over for Thanksgiving lol

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I honestly have no idea what the significance of that is other than he did it behind her back. What does changing her to co-tenant do?

Flueks she’s adorable

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby wow he is such an asshat!!!! Also for your brother to be more upset about thinking the food won't be good. Shew, I don't think I could deal with that drama. I hope your mom comes to her senses and realizes she's made a mistake with how she's handled her relationship with you and A.

Also lol peeing on a pile of clothes. Bahaha

Pretty thank you! Yes the only difficult recovery has been my epidural delivery so I attribute it to that. I mean it might also be due to body having been there, done that letting me avoid tearing with subsequent births, but either way.

Shae thank you! How are you doing?

AFM we were discharged today. Had to wait until the full 48 hrs but just happy she didn't show signs of infection. Still feeling pretty good. E has some feeding difficulties/poor latch which we identified in hospital with IBCLC. We have a plan and hope it'll give me an easier BFing journey than I did with S. She's not lost an excessive amount of weight yet though. Hoping for good news at pediatrician appt tomorrow.

Gotta go she's waking up

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae the big difference boils down to type of ownership and how it plays into inheritance.
Co-owners (typically spouses) own it jointly. So if one passes, sole ownership transfers to the other spouse.
Co-tenants (typically business partners) own a set portion. So if one passes, their percentage is left to their beneficiaries.
They buy everything as co-tenants, but when she had the boys he made her co-owner of two properties he had. When I got sick with what was presumed to be covid and had just been at their house, he panicked that he might actually die before my mom and she'd get the houses. He's 20 years older than her, but she has a lot of health issues. So he signed a document that says his interest (which in Cali is 50/50 for spouses) is to be transferred back to him to make them co-tenants vs co-owners. The only thing is that I could understand if he did this because he wants to put his half in a trust for his bio kids and doesn't trust her to keep her word to leave it to them vs her kids, but to go and be shady and hide it from her is like wtf. And that level of sneakiness! Like daaaaamn.

Fluek right?! Honestly, I kind of just have to do a lot of venting and ignore it. I was hoping this would lead to an apology about banning us, but meh. It is what it is. She's supposedly going to divorce him. But I've been saying she might divorce him for as long as I've been on BNB. But this was next level shade.

And LOL RIGHT he's so funny about it that I can't get mad but also like... then I have to wash them so I prefer to deal with laundry while he's at school or napping.

So glad you are home and there's not major weight loss or infections! I hope things smooth out with the latching and BFing. Def update us after the appointment

 

[shaescott]

Flueks glad to hear you’re home, hopefully the BFing issues resolve quickly!

Thanks for asking, to be completely honest I’m a hot mess, I have no motivation and I’ve essentially slept through all my nursing classes this unit because it’s online and I’ll log in to zoom and get tired and climb back into bed. Not ideal. They record the lectures so I’m going to have to buckle down and take a crap load of notes one night, but I can’t tonight, I have clinical in the am. I unfortunately always get my motivation bursts late at night or when it’s inconvenient. BUT I’m healthy (minus the exhaustion) and safe with a roof over my head and food on my table and people who love me, so it could be much worse.

Dobs ah I see. Sounds like there’s some major trust issues going on there. Definitely super shady to do that behind her back. Honestly I hope she divorces him for that, but we’ll see.

AFM today was SO’s and my anniversary, we didn’t get to celebrate in person d/t school but we’re celebrating this weekend with a trip to Boston (restaurant and museum visit) and a hotel room. I wanted to go to the museum of fine arts, but the library pass promo code I got didn’t work online, so I gave up on that lol. It didn’t even tell me what the discount was so I didn’t bother to call. So we’re doing the museum of science, his dad has a corporate pass. I have to call for that too though, ugh.
Diaphragm fitting is next weekend (the 21st). I’m getting nervous that it won’t fit or something, which is totally possible. But I suppose if it doesn’t fit I can view it as “hey, this isn’t the path you’re supposed to be taking right now, stick with the IUD”. I’d definitely be disappointed though.